Life

Life Is Precious – Don’t Waste Yours

Published

6 years ago

Jul 13, 2017

Last Thursday I lost an uncle. Today I found out that my aunt, who played a large part in raising me, is in the hospital with a serious condition. Over the last two years, I’ve lost my grandma and another close aunty. At what point do we not understand that life is precious.

With each death or near death experience I’m reminded of this concept. Don’t take your relatives for granted because they can disappear when you least expect it, which is what has happened to me of late. Once they’re gone, the pain of missed opportunity hits you in the face like a brick.

Don’t waste yours

Let each death you endure, remind you of how precious life is. Each death should be a reminder not to waste your life. We only have so many days on this planet and then we’re gone. Nobody really knows what life beyond our human existence is, so enjoy being human right now.

For me, when I endure a death in my life I funnel even more passion into what I do. I hit the reset button on my comfort zone and wake the hell up from the lie that I’ll be young forever. None of us are going to live forever, so all we have is right now.

Who knows if we will even get a tomorrow

The other day I was crossing the road with a green man signal and a car came speeding through and nearly hit me. The man that was standing next to me said to me, “That was nearly a tragic accident, I’m glad you are okay mate.”

It clearly wasn’t my time to leave this world. I have much more to give and so much more to see in this magnificent world. The same applies to you. As sad as it is to say or to think about, there are so many ways to die.

Rather than dwell on this tragic thought, let it inspire you to greatness. Let your mortality be the cold shower you need to follow your dreams and smash your goals to pieces. Don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t do something just because they’re too scared to do it themselves.

“Go out and shake the world to the tune of your dreams. Don’t hold back any longer and quit living in fear”

Be grateful for the people that are there for you

My close friends have been amazing when I’ve gone through each of these significant losses. We have to be grateful that people care about us enough to send their best wishes, provide unexpected gifts and call us to make sure we are okay.

There are so many distractions in the modern world and it’s easy for your close friends to forget about you, but your real friends won’t and that’s what death reminds me of.

You must not fret the small things

So many people care way too much about dumb stuff. Life is precious and so in the scheme of things the dude that cut you off in traffic, or the mom that hit your car with her pram, or the guy that was talking loudly on the phone and upset your train of thought, is insignificant.

Death reminds us how dumb all of these small things are. Why couldn’t you stop fretting the small stuff and focus on what matters?

So what matters? You do. Then followed by your family, your dream, the way you serve others and finding or maintaining love.

Don’t wait!!!

Ask that girl out!

Start that business!

Do that trip!

Don’t take your relatives for granted!

Stop waiting to take action. Death shows us that we must do what we have always wanted to do now. Do it today! These dreams that you have matter way too much to be put to one side when you’re old and gray or maybe even dead.

“You can spend as much time as you want worrying about things and procrastinating when you are dead and in your coffin”

While you’re breathing, I want you to live life to the fullest. Think about death as your motivation rather than the thing you fear, or the event that makes you sad when others pass away.

The time is never going to be right to start anything. Live with peace in knowing that every action you take has a meaning behind it, which will propel you forward in some way. Every step taken is better than no steps taken.

Bringing it all together

So you’ve heard all of this advice before have you? I’m sure you have and I’m not the first person to say it. With that said, you still haven’t taken it on board and used it to reap the advantages. Your life has to have meaning. Otherwise, you are going to become horribly sad at some point.

Your life must mean something otherwise it’s a complete waste. Find out what that meaning is and then go away and take action towards making it a reality. Don’t let the death of those close to you hold you back.

These people that have passed away in your life would all want to see you take the island and burn the boats behind you. Let their deaths also have meaning by helping remind you that your life is precious and it shouldn’t be for nothing.

Peace, love and respect to all of you. All of you are the reason I do this. It’s because of you that my life has meaning and I will never forget that.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Aussie Blogger with 500M+ views — Writer for CNBC & Business Insider. Inspiring the world through Personal Development and Entrepreneurship You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.com

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.