Have you ever had your heart smashed into pieces? We all have. Sadly for me, recently, it was my turn to remember what it’s like to have a broken heart. I experienced the end of a long-term relationship with a very special girl.
Reflecting back on the situation, I realised that there had to be a reason for this to happen; there had to be a higher purpose for me. While it’s too soon to fully understand the situation, I am choosing to take the positive road.
It’s easy to get caught up in the emotion and the sadness. In the end, sadness is a choice that we can choose to make. I have decided not to act out the way most people go through breakups and try to put an entirely different spin on it.
What if the only two people that understand the pain are the person I was in the relationship with and me? What if we could both help each other through the pain because we are the only two people on the planet, at this point in time, who are in the exact same situation?
I decided this was the best way to deal with the situation. The best panacea to the pain was to focus my energy on the other person’s to distract myself from my own pain. Time heals everything.
Below are eight benefits I got from my broken heart that can help you in your life.
1. You’ll realise that your purpose can consume you
The purpose that you have dedicated your life to can consume you. What I learned from my recent breakup is that your purpose is supposed to consume you and if anything gets’s in the way, then it’s a sign to keep going.
What I do here on Addicted2Success has become an obsession. I don’t do it for me; I do it for all of you that spend your time using the advice I am giving you for free, to transform your life, and in turn, inspire others.
So let me lay it all on the line. One of the primary reasons I ended my recent relationship was so that I could keep serving all of you. That’s right! I don’t give an “F” about followers, or money or any of that stuff. I’m here alive, raw and ready to serve all of you. No matter the struggle I will just keep showing up. Showing up is 90% of success.
I will never stop serving all of you until I take my last breathe. Through the blood, sweat, tears, and heartache, I will keep doing what I am doing. This is not some joke to me. It’s all I’ve got, and it’s all I have to give.
If you have had your heart broken you will see, if you look deep enough, that your purpose had something to do with it. See, if the person you’re with doesn’t understand your purpose, then the universe will help you to end the relationship so that you can get back on track.
When you find someone who is willing to support your purpose so that it can consume you, then that’s the person you should marry and live every single day with.
2. A chapter has come to a close in the book of life
Every part of your life is a chapter in the book that is you. When you have your heart broken, it’s just another chapter coming to a close that is meant to happen. No good books have a consistent story of happy experiences.
The best books (and the best lives) are the ones that have the struggles, the sadness, and most of all, the heartbreaks.
I felt the dark clouds assembling over the last few months. Then, the thunder came crashing down a week ago to tell me that I was on the wrong path and that things had to change. Now it’s time for the sun to shine brightly and help me to get to the next phase of life.
I knew a change was coming, and what we have to realise is that a change like a breakup can be the start of something phenomenal.
When one chapter passes, all it means is that a new one is going to begin, and it’s likely to be more positive than the last. What’s the next chapter for me? No idea. All I know for sure is that new chapters create amazing people who go out there and change the world.
New chapters are what all of us need to take things to the next level. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know why everything happens. What I do know is that I can give meaning to any outcome both positive and negative, and you have the power to do the same.
3. Your purpose will become clearer
The advantage of a broken heart is that it can decode your purpose further. When you have nobody next to you each day, you will have more time in the silence to be with your thoughts and work out what you were put on this planet for.
Your purpose is the answer to your entire life, and it’s bloody hard to figure out no matter how smart you are, and no matter how many university degrees you have. If what I do on Addicted2Success is part of the reason for my broken heart then could it be a sign that my purpose is becoming clearer?
4. You will react differently to everything
After you have had your heart broken, everything will be different. You won’t see, hear or feel anything the same way again – this is a good thing. Songs will start to sound different even if you have heard them a hundred times before. Movies will suddenly have a different meaning to you than before.
I witnessed this last point first hand. During this difficult time, I went back and watched “The Pursuit Of Happyness.” It was as if I was watching an entirely different movie. It was as if I was the man looking after that little boy and going through a low point in life.
The benefit of having you heart broken is that it raises your emotions. You suddenly become much more aware of how you’re feeling. This gives you the opportunity to change your reactions to things that happen in your life.
5. The phrase “nothing lasts forever” becomes a reality
Rather than look back on all the sad memories from your relationship, you’re better of realising that nothing lasts forever. Breakups have the power to show you that no matter what, nothing lasts forever. Everything on Earth grows and then dies at some point.
You’re better off enjoying the good parts of your life while they’re happening, rather than trying to live in this false world where everything stays the same and where you live with the same person for eternity.
Wake up every morning and be grateful for the person you’re with. Looking back, I wish I was more grateful for what I had at different times in my life. I can’t change the past but what I can do is create the future and practice gratitude daily.
6. No one has all the answers including me
It’s easy to put people that we follow on social media on some imaginary pedestal. Somehow, people think I have all the answers and that I’m perfect. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and my recent breakup is proof of that.
I have every little bit of imperfection that everyone else has. I am no smarter or no dumber than the next person. As easy as it can be to think that people that write for websites like Addicted2Success have some crazy superpower, we don’t. We’re normal just like you.
There is no influential or motivational person who hasn’t experienced a breakup or divorce (even Tony Robbins has been married multiple times).
7. You will realise that money doesn’t fix real problems
Think about this point very carefully. Even the largest amount of money in the world can’t help heal your broken heart. Only you can fix the damage and pick up the pieces. The greatest resource you have is your mind, and so you should help expand it every day.
You can throw as much money as you want at another person but that will never make them love you. The only thing that will make someone love you is the skill of giving everything you have, even when you’ve got nothing left.
Someone can only love you when you love yourself and what you do for others. Love and your life’s purpose is all you’ve got. There is nothing else, and the world is not complex when you understand this fact. Stop chasing money and start following your purpose, and giving love at the same time.
8. You will see the parts of yourself you need to work on
A romantic relationship is really just a true reflection of you. All the flaws that you deem the other person to have, and everything that goes wrong in a relationship, says more about you than anything else.
In my own situation, I realised I can be selfish, overly productive to the point of madness, and completely and utterly obsessed, and addicted to success (hence the reason I’m probably on this site in the first place).
The strange thing about the obsession of success is that high achievers seem to all suffer from this problem. Two modern day self-help phenomenon’s – Lewis Howe’s and Tim Ferriss – are both single. When one part of your life is very successful, the chances are, another part of your life suffers.
Having your heart broken gives you the opportunity to reassess who you are and the areas of your life that still need work. It’s not about the other person it’s about you.
Through the darkest times in your life, there is always a little bit of sunshine that pokes through the cracks. As I write this article, through all the pain, Addicted2Success reveals the first photos of the school that Pencils Of Promise is building with the $50k USD that the Addicted2Success community raised at the end of last year. Acts of kindness like this are what real love is all about.
How has a broken heart affected your life? Did anything positive come out of it? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook. I would really love to hear from you all.
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