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How A Broken Heart Can Make You Believe In A Higher Purpose

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Achieving A Higher Purpose In Life

Have you ever had your heart smashed into pieces? We all have. Sadly for me, recently, it was my turn to remember what it’s like to have a broken heart. I experienced the end of a long-term relationship with a very special girl.

Reflecting back on the situation, I realised that there had to be a reason for this to happen; there had to be a higher purpose for me. While it’s too soon to fully understand the situation, I am choosing to take the positive road.

It’s easy to get caught up in the emotion and the sadness. In the end, sadness is a choice that we can choose to make. I have decided not to act out the way most people go through breakups and try to put an entirely different spin on it.

What if the only two people that understand the pain are the person I was in the relationship with and me? What if we could both help each other through the pain because we are the only two people on the planet, at this point in time, who are in the exact same situation?

I decided this was the best way to deal with the situation. The best panacea to the pain was to focus my energy on the other person’s to distract myself from my own pain. Time heals everything.

Below are eight benefits I got from my broken heart that can help you in your life.

 

1. You’ll realise that your purpose can consume you

The purpose that you have dedicated your life to can consume you. What I learned from my recent breakup is that your purpose is supposed to consume you and if anything gets’s in the way, then it’s a sign to keep going.

What I do here on Addicted2Success has become an obsession. I don’t do it for me; I do it for all of you that spend your time using the advice I am giving you for free, to transform your life, and in turn, inspire others.

So let me lay it all on the line. One of the primary reasons I ended my recent relationship was so that I could keep serving all of you. That’s right! I don’t give an “F” about followers, or money or any of that stuff. I’m here alive, raw and ready to serve all of you. No matter the struggle I will just keep showing up. Showing up is 90% of success.

Determination And PurposeI will never stop serving all of you until I take my last breathe. Through the blood, sweat, tears, and heartache, I will keep doing what I am doing. This is not some joke to me. It’s all I’ve got, and it’s all I have to give.

If you have had your heart broken you will see, if you look deep enough, that your purpose had something to do with it. See, if the person you’re with doesn’t understand your purpose, then the universe will help you to end the relationship so that you can get back on track.

When you find someone who is willing to support your purpose so that it can consume you, then that’s the person you should marry and live every single day with.

 

2. A chapter has come to a close in the book of life

Every part of your life is a chapter in the book that is you. When you have your heart broken, it’s just another chapter coming to a close that is meant to happen. No good books have a consistent story of happy experiences.

The best books (and the best lives) are the ones that have the struggles, the sadness, and most of all, the heartbreaks.

I felt the dark clouds assembling over the last few months. Then, the thunder came crashing down a week ago to tell me that I was on the wrong path and that things had to change. Now it’s time for the sun to shine brightly and help me to get to the next phase of life.

I knew a change was coming, and what we have to realise is that a change like a breakup can be the start of something phenomenal.

When one chapter passes, all it means is that a new one is going to begin, and it’s likely to be more positive than the last. What’s the next chapter for me? No idea. All I know for sure is that new chapters create amazing people who go out there and change the world.

New chapters are what all of us need to take things to the next level. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know why everything happens. What I do know is that I can give meaning to any outcome both positive and negative, and you have the power to do the same.

 

3. Your purpose will become clearer

The advantage of a broken heart is that it can decode your purpose further. When you have nobody next to you each day, you will have more time in the silence to be with your thoughts and work out what you were put on this planet for.

Your purpose is the answer to your entire life, and it’s bloody hard to figure out no matter how smart you are, and no matter how many university degrees you have. If what I do on Addicted2Success is part of the reason for my broken heart then could it be a sign that my purpose is becoming clearer?

 

4. You will react differently to everything

After you have had your heart broken, everything will be different. You won’t see, hear or feel anything the same way again – this is a good thing. Songs will start to sound different even if you have heard them a hundred times before. Movies will suddenly have a different meaning to you than before.

I witnessed this last point first hand. During this difficult time, I went back and watched “The Pursuit Of Happyness.” It was as if I was watching an entirely different movie. It was as if I was the man looking after that little boy and going through a low point in life.

The benefit of having you heart broken is that it raises your emotions. You suddenly become much more aware of how you’re feeling. This gives you the opportunity to change your reactions to things that happen in your life.

 

5. The phrase “nothing lasts forever” becomes a reality

Rather than look back on all the sad memories from your relationship, you’re better of realising that nothing lasts forever. Breakups have the power to show you that no matter what, nothing lasts forever. Everything on Earth grows and then dies at some point.

You’re better off enjoying the good parts of your life while they’re happening, rather than trying to live in this false world where everything stays the same and where you live with the same person for eternity.

Wake up every morning and be grateful for the person you’re with. Looking back, I wish I was more grateful for what I had at different times in my life. I can’t change the past but what I can do is create the future and practice gratitude daily.

 

6. No one has all the answers including me

It’s easy to put people that we follow on social media on some imaginary pedestal. Somehow, people think I have all the answers and that I’m perfect. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and my recent breakup is proof of that.

I have every little bit of imperfection that everyone else has. I am no smarter or no dumber than the next person. As easy as it can be to think that people that write for websites like Addicted2Success have some crazy superpower, we don’t. We’re normal just like you.

There is no influential or motivational person who hasn’t experienced a breakup or divorce (even Tony Robbins has been married multiple times).

 

7. You will realise that money doesn’t fix real problems

Think about this point very carefully. Even the largest amount of money in the world can’t help heal your broken heart. Only you can fix the damage and pick up the pieces. The greatest resource you have is your mind, and so you should help expand it every day.

You can throw as much money as you want at another person but that will never make them love you. The only thing that will make someone love you is the skill of giving everything you have, even when you’ve got nothing left.

Someone can only love you when you love yourself and what you do for others. Love and your life’s purpose is all you’ve got. There is nothing else, and the world is not complex when you understand this fact. Stop chasing money and start following your purpose, and giving love at the same time.

 

8. You will see the parts of yourself you need to work on

A romantic relationship is really just a true reflection of you. All the flaws that you deem the other person to have, and everything that goes wrong in a relationship, says more about you than anything else.

In my own situation, I realised I can be selfish, overly productive to the point of madness, and completely and utterly obsessed, and addicted to success (hence the reason I’m probably on this site in the first place).

The strange thing about the obsession of success is that high achievers seem to all suffer from this problem. Two modern day self-help phenomenon’s – Lewis Howe’s and Tim Ferriss – are both single. When one part of your life is very successful, the chances are, another part of your life suffers.

Having your heart broken gives you the opportunity to reassess who you are and the areas of your life that still need work. It’s not about the other person it’s about you.

 

***Final Thought***

Through the darkest times in your life, there is always a little bit of sunshine that pokes through the cracks. As I write this article, through all the pain, Addicted2Success reveals the first photos of the school that Pencils Of Promise is building with the $50k USD that the Addicted2Success community raised at the end of last year. Acts of kindness like this are what real love is all about.

How has a broken heart affected your life? Did anything positive come out of it? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook. I would really love to hear from you all.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Tyler

    Jun 23, 2016 at 1:14 am

    Great Article!
    Went through the rough patch myself of a broken heart. Long-term relationship that both of us knew was toxic, and it had an effect on all aspects of my life. I lost friends, family, any sort of motivation, and it caused me to lose a job. After losing the job, I ended the relationship, even though it was one of the hardest things that I have ever done, moved into a CHEAP apartment to save money, and spent 3 months living my dream of traveling through Europe. A few weeks into my trip, as a happy and easy-going person, I met someone new, realized what I was missing out on in a relationship, proposed within 8 weeks of knowing her, and have been happily married living on the other side of the planet for almost 2 years!

    Life throws lots at you, and the biggest thing that I have learned from my experiences is that while life may be tough now, keep at it, and do what makes you happy, things are going to get better.

    Positive attitudes in any situation are KEY!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 23, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      Thanks Tyler for the kind words. Your story sounds a lot harder than mine that’s for sure. I love that you never gave up and used travel as a way to rediscover where your life was heading. Glad everything is alright now and appreciate you sharing your thoughts with all of us.

      Cheers mate

  2. Thea Dunlap

    Jun 22, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Wow this post really caught my eye. What a better way to channel that broken heart in to something positive. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 22, 2016 at 4:19 am

      No problem Thea thank you for your thoughts.

  3. Toño

    Jun 22, 2016 at 2:08 am

    Another portion of raw wisdom I can totally benefit from having at my breakfast.

    Yep, many of us suffered from broken heart moments and I am with you here. The girl I was with in a long-term relationship, broke my heart twice (hence th elesson if you break up it most likely means you should not return to that person, but I learned that hard way), leaving me with nothing but pain inside. It was one of the most difficult period of my time as I lost my job, friends, money, relationship and more importantly, my sanity. But it was one of the most beautiful and important moment in my life as well, as I was provided with the opportunity to start from scratch and change everything. Only later on I realized how lucky I was to end those relationship and be bale to grow as a person. Before I was drowning into swamp and universe took care of me and helped. It took me time to let it go, forget and eventually forgive that girl, but it will come to you too, Tim. It certainly will.

    Now I like your aproach towards sadness, that this is only but choice we can make. It’s all about our focus and how we can switch it. It gives you more attention and require a lot more awareness to not simply reflect on what happens in your daily life, but to consciously create your life. Nothing lasts forever is the great truth, and as I discovered (or re-learned) this with my deleted files, your life gives you the chance to have this lesson as well.

    I am now practice appreciation more and more, looking for mythoughts and feelings to get caught into trap, and you know, the struggles are the most helpful ally here and a good reminder. You spoke about how you can see things different now and how some things become clearer and this is exactly what I realized yesterday as well! Once I quit the pitty party regarding my deleted docs I felt re-charged, emotionally and got some extra energy to run my day. It sounds nearly ridiculous but this little struggle inspired me to keep going and have my mood up! Reading your article now I can sense you may experience similar phenomenon or at least near to it.

    You may not appear the superhero in the usual meaning of this term, but you are super human, Tim, strong and ever changing and ever growing being who seek the opportunity to be the greatest version of himself every single day. I was thinking how can I cheer you up and help with something, but you don’t even need this, and in your dark times you are even stronger than usual and always here to land us a hand (or two) and inspire the world once again, no matter what. You got this, my man. Just keep going and don’t you ever give up.

    Whatever happened, happened for a reason. Accept it and let it go. Life is beautiful and you’re unique being. Enjoy the journey. You will get to destination one day.

    Peace and blessings, my friend. Stay strong and healthy. Much love to you!~
    Appreciate your desire to share this experience, thank you so very much!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 22, 2016 at 2:41 am

      Toño I have never been called super human so thank you so much. I had a tear in my eye as I read your very kind note. I love the fact that you go out of your way to share your experiences and you don’t leave anything out. You have really motivated me today my friend and I am very grateful for that. Lets catch up soon and thanks again 🙂

  4. Charlene Rhinehart

    Jun 21, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    Wow! The title of this article immediately caught my attention and I had to push everything aside in order to give this my full attention. It’s like you were taking the words right out of my head. First, I want to thank you for having the COURAGE to share such a heart-breaking feeling that impacts everyone. Thank you for turning the table and adding a positive, purpose-driven perspective.

    These words stood out, “See, if the person you’re with doesn’t understand your purpose, then the universe will help you to end the relationship so that you can get back on track…When you find someone who is willing to support your purpose so that it can consume you, then that’s the person you should marry and live every single day with. A change like a break-up can be the start of something phenomenal.” This post just filled me up! Thank you again for sharing, Tim!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 21, 2016 at 9:26 pm

      Thank you Charlene for your continuous kind words and wisdom. Glad you enjoyed the post.

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Life

5 Ways You Can Make the Most Out of Failure

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It’s been said that only two things are certain in life: death and taxes. I’d like to add another one to the list: rejection. No matter who you are and what life you live, there will be instances in your life when you experience rejection.

Nobody likes to be rejected. It sucks to be told you were good, just not good enough, for the project, job, partner or position. It’s confusing and frustrating, and it can make you want to scream. But more often than not, being rejected can be the start of something brilliant.

Here are five ways you can make sure you make the most out of your difficult experiences and come out at the other end stronger:

1. Take five

When you get bad news or hear negative feedback, most of us can’t help but fall into a sullen mood. Rather than fall into the trap of focusing on the negative and being overly self-critical, take five minutes to clear your head of all negativity. Even after five minutes of silent meditation, you’ll start to clear your head and realise that everything isn’t really all that bad.

“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.” – Woody Allen

2. Put things into perspective

Unless you are a heart surgeon or have a job in which you are responsible for the wellbeing of others, nobody will die because of this disappointment or mistake. If you lose a job, you’ll find another one. If you don’t get that promotion, you can make more money in some other way. An opportunity lost is another chance for something new to come down the road. Remember that this is only a momentary pain and won’t last long in the grand scheme of things.

3. Assess what went right

You can nearly always find a positive lesson from even the most negative of circumstances. The hardest part is often escaping the negative mindset that everything must have gone wrong if things didn’t go exactly as planned. In reality, there are an infinite number of variables that could have caused an unsatisfactory outcome. If you manage to put the negative mindset out of your head you can focus on the many things that went right, rather than what went wrong. Always remember to look at things on the bright side.

4. Review what went wrong, and look for ways to improve

After you’ve had a chance to look at what exactly went right, you can then take a hard look at how to improve on what went wrong. Consider whether or not you need to get additional training in certain areas, to practice more often, or just to consider ways to improve what worked partially but not fully.

“Success is 99% failure.” – Soichiro Honda

5. Remember, what will be, will be

Try your best, then don’t worry be happy. You will always face difficulties through life, but the more you practice accepting these difficulties, the better positioned you’ll be to make use of your time effectively and improve your life. Look at life through the lens of a stoic philosopher and you will better understand how to live a life of streamlined success and happiness.

The best lessons you learn in life are very rarely the easiest. Remember to reflect on why some of the hardest decisions and saddest realisations you may have are vitally important for future growth and genuine happiness. These moments force you to break out of your normal state of consciousness and reassess what is most important to you.

They make you reflect on what has worked, and more importantly, what hasn’t. Only in these moments do you realise who you really are, and exactly what you are capable of.

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

You Can Create Whatever Life You Want So Stop Talking Yourself Out of Your Destiny

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There’s never been a time like right now in human history for entrepreneurship. We have access to virtually limitless knowledge thanks to the advent of the internet, and you can reach anyone on this planet literally at the click of a button.

However, despite the massive amount of opportunity out there, there are still time-tested principles that every wanna-be entrepreneur needs to know in order to truly succeed. Knowing these principles can spell the difference between achieving your dreams and talking yourself out of your destiny.

There is Such a Thing as Preparing Too Much

While it’s certainly necessary to prepare in life, a just as devastating problem many people face in life is being too prepared. Way too often, people believe they’re actually working by spending hours “preparing” when all they’re doing is thinking about working while their actual work goes untouched.

As Gary Vaynerchuk put it bluntly in one of his livestream Q&A videos, “There are just so many ways to build your business, but lack of action is not one of them.” Basically, we are both blessed and cursed by our access to virtually limitless knowledge. We can turn on the faucet of knowledge and grab a quick swig when we need it, but if we leave it on for too long we’ll be drowning in information and be stuck trying to process everything.

If you spend too much time processing, you’ll be more likely to talk yourself out of taking the risks necessary to build a successful business. The solution is simple: stop processing and start taking action.

A phrase I find myself repeating a lot when I get into a bind is, “How did successful people do it before the age of internet?” The answer is they did it by not talking themselves off of the ledge of destiny and instead diving into their project headfirst.

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Our Feelings Often Lie to Us

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like throwing in the towel when trying to build my web design business. I remember one day in particular I had a massive headache and was on the verge of quitting everything due to the frustration I felt while dealing with a problematic client.

I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t eaten yet that morning, so I went and made myself breakfast. After eating a bowl of scrambled eggs and toast, my headache magically vanished along with my thoughts of wanting to quit. I quickly realized what needed to be done and fixed the client’s issue without much thought. The problem wasn’t with the client, the problem was with my stomach.

Can you imagine how ridiculous I would have looked had I fired my client all because I hadn’t eaten that day? This is why our feelings sometimes need to take a backseat when it comes to making wise, calculated decisions for our success.

Intuition is important, obviously, but it’s best utilized with years of reliable experience to back it up. So go with your gut when it’s wise to do so, but always make sure your gut is fed otherwise you may regret what it has to say.

Perfectionism Can Halt All Progress

You will never have everything figured out. Let that sink in. It’s become such a trope in our society that it’s surprising how easily we tend to forget it. There isn’t a single business out there that has all the answers on how to do things right, so why do we feel the need to stop moving forward if things aren’t perfect?

I remember a friend of mine spent years trying to compose music on his synthesizer but never released anything because it “wasn’t good enough” by his standards. I gave him the simple proposition to “put out crappy music”, since no matter what he would always think his music was crappy due to his perfectionist mindset. Within a day, he finally put something out on SoundCloud and his song “#Selfie” became a hit worldwide while his band The ChainSmokers continues to put out hits to this day.

OK, I’m kidding about that last part, but hopefully you get my point. My friend finally had a song out that he could have had out years ago but was too caught up on making everything “perfect” to do anything. He had, in effect, talked himself out of taking action. The same thing applies with business, even if you don’t have everything figured out it’s best to just start something and learn as you go.

“Imperfection is perfection.” – Flume

Whenever that annoying, perfectionist voice in your head tries to get you to quit because you’ll never have the “perfect” product or service to sell, tell it to shut up and put out your product or service anyway. As you gain experience in your field and receive valuable feedback from customers, you’ll be able to continually improve things with your business.

Had you not taken action to begin with, you would never have attained either of these two valuable assets. Never settle for mediocrity, but at the same time recognize your need to be in motion even if the thing that sets you in motion is initially subpar.

How do you push yourself and keep motivated? Let us know your thoughts below!

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3 Mental Tricks to Help You Become a More Productive Person

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Whether you’re a career salesman, a student, or a software engineer, you can’t move an inch in your career if you produce less. Productivity is the key that will unlock your success. Unfortunately, not all of us are productive. And some of it is not our problem. Our Internet-empowered world is bloated with too many social media tools, too many emails and notifications, too many SMS and short messages, too many YouTube videos and Netflix movies. The distractions are at an all time high.

But what if there is a system that will help you keep all these distractions aside until you have accomplished your tasks? There is. And it only takes 3 simple steps. Read Below:

Step 1: See your everyday tasks as a gift

Showing up every day to work is anything but fun. You know your life depends on it, but some days are not your best days. No matter how you plan your projects, you can’t show up to do them. You’re tired and bored and uninterested. What’s the way forward? It’s not about planning. It’s not about waking up early. It’s not about lack of exercise or anything like that.

If you want to conquer your to-do list, day in and day out, you need a simple shift in your mindset. Stop thinking of your tasks as work. See those tasks as gifts…as natural endowments exclusively given to you. This simple shift in your mindset will awaken the sleeping giant within you. You’ll start feeling great about yourself, stop seeing your work as burdensome. The tasks will now make you feel proud.

No longer will your showing up early at your desk irritate you—because now you feel comfortable doing the work that matters. The mindset adjustment is not even difficult. Just figure out the value that your tasks will bring to your marketplace.

“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss

Step 2: Be conscious of the impeccable values of your tasks

That’s how to shift your thinking. You dissect the unique values that are embedded in your tasks (when you accomplish them, of course). If you’re a web designer, for example, think about the joy and life-changing events that your design job will bring to your client. That landing page that you’ll design, it would mean the world to your client.

It will even change their business and their lives along the way. But that will not happen if you don’t show up every day, roll up your sleeves and work on that landing page. Now if you can visualize that value, it will serve you well. You’ll be motivated. So, how do you become more conscious of the values of your work? Write them down. And read them every day to spark your productivity.

Step 3: Remind yourself of the limited time you have in life

We like to postpone today’s tasks for tomorrow. Often, we’ll schedule a time to work, but when the time is due, we come up with another excuse, “I’ve got to call that client instead; I’ll leave that work till tomorrow.” But we don’t own tomorrow. We don’t have control over it. We don’t even know what it holds. And we have a very limited time.

If you want to improve your productivity, you have got to remind yourself about the scarcity of your time. Here are a few questions to ask yourself (I recommend that you do these exercises every time before you begin to work):

  • If you only have 24 hours left today, how do you want to spend it?
  • If you have 5 projects to complete today, how do you manage your time?
  • Would you rather watch a movie on Netflix or accomplish today’s task and move closer to your vision?

“Do something instead of killing time because time is killing you.” – Paulo Coelho

It’s about making smart choices. I know It’s hard. It’s tough. It requires an impeccable amount of discipline. But with constant practice, these mental tricks will help you become a more productive person, move you closer to realizing your vision.

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Life

7 Simple Tips to Help You Eliminate Negative Thoughts

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Have you been feeling low lately? Are you missing being the person you once used to be? In this fast-paced life of ours, it is not surprising to feel depressed. 15 out of 100 adults in the USA fall prey to depression every year.

As we get more and more detached from reality and bury ourselves into the virtual world of our smartphones, anxiety and stress seep into our brain and make us lose sight of the happy versions of ourselves. It is optimism alone that keeps us going by giving us the will to fight the battle within us. The power to usher in positivity and shoo off the negative thoughts rests with you.

Here’s what you can do to remove the dark cloud of pessimism that hovers over you:

1. Train your mind to think positive

Affirmations can help boost your self-esteem. If you continue to affirm your brain, it will learn to believe in you and will work positively. Positive affirmations are scientifically proven and can make miracles happen. Tell yourself that you are getting better and your subconscious will adapt to it and function accordingly.

Train your brain to give a neutral spin to all your negative thoughts. Since, building a positive mindset isn’t an easy task to do, the neutral thoughts will help you keep the negativity at bay and aid you in paving your path towards positivity.

2. Cultivate self-love

If you have been waiting for a pair of arms to reach out and rescue you, you might just have to wait longer. Instead, be your own messiah. In order to do so, you have to perfect the art of self-love. Nurture your narcissism a bit and learn to appreciate yourself more often.

Learn to turn down offers politely and indulge in some quality Me-time. Bake your favorite cake or shop for the dress that you had been eyeing for quite some time now. Go get a spa treatment and appreciate the daily efforts that you make.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown

3. Keep yourself busy

The key to ward off negativity is to keep your brain busy, so that it does not get the time to breed ill thoughts. Considering how the descent towards the abysmal pit of depression starts at our workstation, I would suggest that you find engagements outside your workplace that helps your mind to relax.

You can try reading lighthearted literature. A personal favorite, the Chicken Soup for the Soul, can actually nurture your brain with the much-needed optimism to fight away the negative blues. Listen to happy, soulful music or take a stroll in the fresh air.

4. Surround yourself with positivity

People around us have the power to affect us – in both positive and negative ways. Their actions affect us, and we take their words to heart. Quite often, negative thoughts cloud our minds because of a seed that was sown by someone we hold close to our hearts. The people we walk and talk with are capable of influencing our emotions. So, you must choose your company wisely.

Surround yourself with people who care for you and love you. Love is the only magic potion for us muggles, and with the right kind of love and support, we can eliminate the negative thoughts that wreak havoc in our brains. Also, learn to block unwanted people from your lives.

5. Be a social butterfly

In this age of social media, we have more virtual friends than actual friends. So, come out of the virtual world and spend some time with your family and friends. Your family members fall among the ones who love you just as you are. At the end of the day, they are the ones who matter.

Moreover, when you go out of your way to help someone, you feel more positive. Rescuing someone from the same pit of darkness as you are in can help you ward off your own demons. So, don’t shy away from community work.

“Society is like a large piece of frozen water; and skating well is the great art of social life.” – Letitia Elizabeth Landon

6. Lead a healthy life

Exercise and meditation can be of immense help when it comes to overcoming stress and negative thoughts. When you exercise, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin which play an important role in regulating your mood. Mediation helps you to increase your brain power and aligns your thought processes towards optimism.

Other than exercising, you must get enough sleep. Proper sleep helps our bodies to recover from the daily toil and provides it with the time to repair. Also, try to eat healthy food. Avoid gluten, caffeine, and sugar as they make you bitter and depressed. Keep your body healthy, which in turn will tell your brain to be more positive.

7. Make your ambiance teem with positivity

Other than exercising and eating healthy, you can take little steps like drawing yourself a bath or sleeping with a heavier comforter on to make yourself feel more calm and composed. When you feel rejuvenated physically, your mind will automatically feel relaxed.

Get your upholstery in happier shades of light pastels and make sure that your room is adequately lit up. However small these changes might be, they will welcome positivity into your life.

In the end, I would like to emphasize the importance of reducing stress. Train your brain to focus on the brighter side of things, so that depression and negativity cannot take a toll on your mental health. Trust me when I say that you are stronger than you think!

Which one of these 7 tips to eliminate negative thoughts do you need to work on most? Let us know how you’re going to work on it below!

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5 Ways You Can Make the Most Out of Failure

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It’s been said that only two things are certain in life: death and taxes. I’d like to add another one to the list: rejection. No matter who you are and what life you live, there will be instances in your life when you experience rejection. (more…)

McVal is the author of How to Make $2,000 a Month Online and Start Up your Life: Why we don’t know what we want, and how to set goals that really matter. McVal writes about motivation, decision making, and strategic thinking. He graduated from UC Santa Barbara in 2011 with a degree in Spanish, and has since worked as a market researcher and business consultant in Washington D.C., New York City and London. You can reach him on Twitter @mcval or on IG @mcvaliant.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Tyler

    Jun 23, 2016 at 1:14 am

    Great Article!
    Went through the rough patch myself of a broken heart. Long-term relationship that both of us knew was toxic, and it had an effect on all aspects of my life. I lost friends, family, any sort of motivation, and it caused me to lose a job. After losing the job, I ended the relationship, even though it was one of the hardest things that I have ever done, moved into a CHEAP apartment to save money, and spent 3 months living my dream of traveling through Europe. A few weeks into my trip, as a happy and easy-going person, I met someone new, realized what I was missing out on in a relationship, proposed within 8 weeks of knowing her, and have been happily married living on the other side of the planet for almost 2 years!

    Life throws lots at you, and the biggest thing that I have learned from my experiences is that while life may be tough now, keep at it, and do what makes you happy, things are going to get better.

    Positive attitudes in any situation are KEY!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 23, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      Thanks Tyler for the kind words. Your story sounds a lot harder than mine that’s for sure. I love that you never gave up and used travel as a way to rediscover where your life was heading. Glad everything is alright now and appreciate you sharing your thoughts with all of us.

      Cheers mate

  2. Thea Dunlap

    Jun 22, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Wow this post really caught my eye. What a better way to channel that broken heart in to something positive. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 22, 2016 at 4:19 am

      No problem Thea thank you for your thoughts.

  3. Toño

    Jun 22, 2016 at 2:08 am

    Another portion of raw wisdom I can totally benefit from having at my breakfast.

    Yep, many of us suffered from broken heart moments and I am with you here. The girl I was with in a long-term relationship, broke my heart twice (hence th elesson if you break up it most likely means you should not return to that person, but I learned that hard way), leaving me with nothing but pain inside. It was one of the most difficult period of my time as I lost my job, friends, money, relationship and more importantly, my sanity. But it was one of the most beautiful and important moment in my life as well, as I was provided with the opportunity to start from scratch and change everything. Only later on I realized how lucky I was to end those relationship and be bale to grow as a person. Before I was drowning into swamp and universe took care of me and helped. It took me time to let it go, forget and eventually forgive that girl, but it will come to you too, Tim. It certainly will.

    Now I like your aproach towards sadness, that this is only but choice we can make. It’s all about our focus and how we can switch it. It gives you more attention and require a lot more awareness to not simply reflect on what happens in your daily life, but to consciously create your life. Nothing lasts forever is the great truth, and as I discovered (or re-learned) this with my deleted files, your life gives you the chance to have this lesson as well.

    I am now practice appreciation more and more, looking for mythoughts and feelings to get caught into trap, and you know, the struggles are the most helpful ally here and a good reminder. You spoke about how you can see things different now and how some things become clearer and this is exactly what I realized yesterday as well! Once I quit the pitty party regarding my deleted docs I felt re-charged, emotionally and got some extra energy to run my day. It sounds nearly ridiculous but this little struggle inspired me to keep going and have my mood up! Reading your article now I can sense you may experience similar phenomenon or at least near to it.

    You may not appear the superhero in the usual meaning of this term, but you are super human, Tim, strong and ever changing and ever growing being who seek the opportunity to be the greatest version of himself every single day. I was thinking how can I cheer you up and help with something, but you don’t even need this, and in your dark times you are even stronger than usual and always here to land us a hand (or two) and inspire the world once again, no matter what. You got this, my man. Just keep going and don’t you ever give up.

    Whatever happened, happened for a reason. Accept it and let it go. Life is beautiful and you’re unique being. Enjoy the journey. You will get to destination one day.

    Peace and blessings, my friend. Stay strong and healthy. Much love to you!~
    Appreciate your desire to share this experience, thank you so very much!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 22, 2016 at 2:41 am

      Toño I have never been called super human so thank you so much. I had a tear in my eye as I read your very kind note. I love the fact that you go out of your way to share your experiences and you don’t leave anything out. You have really motivated me today my friend and I am very grateful for that. Lets catch up soon and thanks again 🙂

  4. Charlene Rhinehart

    Jun 21, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    Wow! The title of this article immediately caught my attention and I had to push everything aside in order to give this my full attention. It’s like you were taking the words right out of my head. First, I want to thank you for having the COURAGE to share such a heart-breaking feeling that impacts everyone. Thank you for turning the table and adding a positive, purpose-driven perspective.

    These words stood out, “See, if the person you’re with doesn’t understand your purpose, then the universe will help you to end the relationship so that you can get back on track…When you find someone who is willing to support your purpose so that it can consume you, then that’s the person you should marry and live every single day with. A change like a break-up can be the start of something phenomenal.” This post just filled me up! Thank you again for sharing, Tim!

    • Tim Denning

      Jun 21, 2016 at 9:26 pm

      Thank you Charlene for your continuous kind words and wisdom. Glad you enjoyed the post.

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Life

5 Ways You Can Make the Most Out of Failure

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It’s been said that only two things are certain in life: death and taxes. I’d like to add another one to the list: rejection. No matter who you are and what life you live, there will be instances in your life when you experience rejection.

Nobody likes to be rejected. It sucks to be told you were good, just not good enough, for the project, job, partner or position. It’s confusing and frustrating, and it can make you want to scream. But more often than not, being rejected can be the start of something brilliant.

Here are five ways you can make sure you make the most out of your difficult experiences and come out at the other end stronger:

1. Take five

When you get bad news or hear negative feedback, most of us can’t help but fall into a sullen mood. Rather than fall into the trap of focusing on the negative and being overly self-critical, take five minutes to clear your head of all negativity. Even after five minutes of silent meditation, you’ll start to clear your head and realise that everything isn’t really all that bad.

“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.” – Woody Allen

2. Put things into perspective

Unless you are a heart surgeon or have a job in which you are responsible for the wellbeing of others, nobody will die because of this disappointment or mistake. If you lose a job, you’ll find another one. If you don’t get that promotion, you can make more money in some other way. An opportunity lost is another chance for something new to come down the road. Remember that this is only a momentary pain and won’t last long in the grand scheme of things.

3. Assess what went right

You can nearly always find a positive lesson from even the most negative of circumstances. The hardest part is often escaping the negative mindset that everything must have gone wrong if things didn’t go exactly as planned. In reality, there are an infinite number of variables that could have caused an unsatisfactory outcome. If you manage to put the negative mindset out of your head you can focus on the many things that went right, rather than what went wrong. Always remember to look at things on the bright side.

4. Review what went wrong, and look for ways to improve

After you’ve had a chance to look at what exactly went right, you can then take a hard look at how to improve on what went wrong. Consider whether or not you need to get additional training in certain areas, to practice more often, or just to consider ways to improve what worked partially but not fully.

“Success is 99% failure.” – Soichiro Honda

5. Remember, what will be, will be

Try your best, then don’t worry be happy. You will always face difficulties through life, but the more you practice accepting these difficulties, the better positioned you’ll be to make use of your time effectively and improve your life. Look at life through the lens of a stoic philosopher and you will better understand how to live a life of streamlined success and happiness.

The best lessons you learn in life are very rarely the easiest. Remember to reflect on why some of the hardest decisions and saddest realisations you may have are vitally important for future growth and genuine happiness. These moments force you to break out of your normal state of consciousness and reassess what is most important to you.

They make you reflect on what has worked, and more importantly, what hasn’t. Only in these moments do you realise who you really are, and exactly what you are capable of.

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Life

You Can Create Whatever Life You Want So Stop Talking Yourself Out of Your Destiny

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There’s never been a time like right now in human history for entrepreneurship. We have access to virtually limitless knowledge thanks to the advent of the internet, and you can reach anyone on this planet literally at the click of a button.

However, despite the massive amount of opportunity out there, there are still time-tested principles that every wanna-be entrepreneur needs to know in order to truly succeed. Knowing these principles can spell the difference between achieving your dreams and talking yourself out of your destiny.

There is Such a Thing as Preparing Too Much

While it’s certainly necessary to prepare in life, a just as devastating problem many people face in life is being too prepared. Way too often, people believe they’re actually working by spending hours “preparing” when all they’re doing is thinking about working while their actual work goes untouched.

As Gary Vaynerchuk put it bluntly in one of his livestream Q&A videos, “There are just so many ways to build your business, but lack of action is not one of them.” Basically, we are both blessed and cursed by our access to virtually limitless knowledge. We can turn on the faucet of knowledge and grab a quick swig when we need it, but if we leave it on for too long we’ll be drowning in information and be stuck trying to process everything.

If you spend too much time processing, you’ll be more likely to talk yourself out of taking the risks necessary to build a successful business. The solution is simple: stop processing and start taking action.

A phrase I find myself repeating a lot when I get into a bind is, “How did successful people do it before the age of internet?” The answer is they did it by not talking themselves off of the ledge of destiny and instead diving into their project headfirst.

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

Our Feelings Often Lie to Us

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like throwing in the towel when trying to build my web design business. I remember one day in particular I had a massive headache and was on the verge of quitting everything due to the frustration I felt while dealing with a problematic client.

I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t eaten yet that morning, so I went and made myself breakfast. After eating a bowl of scrambled eggs and toast, my headache magically vanished along with my thoughts of wanting to quit. I quickly realized what needed to be done and fixed the client’s issue without much thought. The problem wasn’t with the client, the problem was with my stomach.

Can you imagine how ridiculous I would have looked had I fired my client all because I hadn’t eaten that day? This is why our feelings sometimes need to take a backseat when it comes to making wise, calculated decisions for our success.

Intuition is important, obviously, but it’s best utilized with years of reliable experience to back it up. So go with your gut when it’s wise to do so, but always make sure your gut is fed otherwise you may regret what it has to say.

Perfectionism Can Halt All Progress

You will never have everything figured out. Let that sink in. It’s become such a trope in our society that it’s surprising how easily we tend to forget it. There isn’t a single business out there that has all the answers on how to do things right, so why do we feel the need to stop moving forward if things aren’t perfect?

I remember a friend of mine spent years trying to compose music on his synthesizer but never released anything because it “wasn’t good enough” by his standards. I gave him the simple proposition to “put out crappy music”, since no matter what he would always think his music was crappy due to his perfectionist mindset. Within a day, he finally put something out on SoundCloud and his song “#Selfie” became a hit worldwide while his band The ChainSmokers continues to put out hits to this day.

OK, I’m kidding about that last part, but hopefully you get my point. My friend finally had a song out that he could have had out years ago but was too caught up on making everything “perfect” to do anything. He had, in effect, talked himself out of taking action. The same thing applies with business, even if you don’t have everything figured out it’s best to just start something and learn as you go.

“Imperfection is perfection.” – Flume

Whenever that annoying, perfectionist voice in your head tries to get you to quit because you’ll never have the “perfect” product or service to sell, tell it to shut up and put out your product or service anyway. As you gain experience in your field and receive valuable feedback from customers, you’ll be able to continually improve things with your business.

Had you not taken action to begin with, you would never have attained either of these two valuable assets. Never settle for mediocrity, but at the same time recognize your need to be in motion even if the thing that sets you in motion is initially subpar.

How do you push yourself and keep motivated? Let us know your thoughts below!

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Life

3 Mental Tricks to Help You Become a More Productive Person

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Whether you’re a career salesman, a student, or a software engineer, you can’t move an inch in your career if you produce less. Productivity is the key that will unlock your success. Unfortunately, not all of us are productive. And some of it is not our problem. Our Internet-empowered world is bloated with too many social media tools, too many emails and notifications, too many SMS and short messages, too many YouTube videos and Netflix movies. The distractions are at an all time high.

But what if there is a system that will help you keep all these distractions aside until you have accomplished your tasks? There is. And it only takes 3 simple steps. Read Below:

Step 1: See your everyday tasks as a gift

Showing up every day to work is anything but fun. You know your life depends on it, but some days are not your best days. No matter how you plan your projects, you can’t show up to do them. You’re tired and bored and uninterested. What’s the way forward? It’s not about planning. It’s not about waking up early. It’s not about lack of exercise or anything like that.

If you want to conquer your to-do list, day in and day out, you need a simple shift in your mindset. Stop thinking of your tasks as work. See those tasks as gifts…as natural endowments exclusively given to you. This simple shift in your mindset will awaken the sleeping giant within you. You’ll start feeling great about yourself, stop seeing your work as burdensome. The tasks will now make you feel proud.

No longer will your showing up early at your desk irritate you—because now you feel comfortable doing the work that matters. The mindset adjustment is not even difficult. Just figure out the value that your tasks will bring to your marketplace.

“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” – Tim Ferriss

Step 2: Be conscious of the impeccable values of your tasks

That’s how to shift your thinking. You dissect the unique values that are embedded in your tasks (when you accomplish them, of course). If you’re a web designer, for example, think about the joy and life-changing events that your design job will bring to your client. That landing page that you’ll design, it would mean the world to your client.

It will even change their business and their lives along the way. But that will not happen if you don’t show up every day, roll up your sleeves and work on that landing page. Now if you can visualize that value, it will serve you well. You’ll be motivated. So, how do you become more conscious of the values of your work? Write them down. And read them every day to spark your productivity.

Step 3: Remind yourself of the limited time you have in life

We like to postpone today’s tasks for tomorrow. Often, we’ll schedule a time to work, but when the time is due, we come up with another excuse, “I’ve got to call that client instead; I’ll leave that work till tomorrow.” But we don’t own tomorrow. We don’t have control over it. We don’t even know what it holds. And we have a very limited time.

If you want to improve your productivity, you have got to remind yourself about the scarcity of your time. Here are a few questions to ask yourself (I recommend that you do these exercises every time before you begin to work):

  • If you only have 24 hours left today, how do you want to spend it?
  • If you have 5 projects to complete today, how do you manage your time?
  • Would you rather watch a movie on Netflix or accomplish today’s task and move closer to your vision?

“Do something instead of killing time because time is killing you.” – Paulo Coelho

It’s about making smart choices. I know It’s hard. It’s tough. It requires an impeccable amount of discipline. But with constant practice, these mental tricks will help you become a more productive person, move you closer to realizing your vision.

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Life

7 Simple Tips to Help You Eliminate Negative Thoughts

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Have you been feeling low lately? Are you missing being the person you once used to be? In this fast-paced life of ours, it is not surprising to feel depressed. 15 out of 100 adults in the USA fall prey to depression every year.

As we get more and more detached from reality and bury ourselves into the virtual world of our smartphones, anxiety and stress seep into our brain and make us lose sight of the happy versions of ourselves. It is optimism alone that keeps us going by giving us the will to fight the battle within us. The power to usher in positivity and shoo off the negative thoughts rests with you.

Here’s what you can do to remove the dark cloud of pessimism that hovers over you:

1. Train your mind to think positive

Affirmations can help boost your self-esteem. If you continue to affirm your brain, it will learn to believe in you and will work positively. Positive affirmations are scientifically proven and can make miracles happen. Tell yourself that you are getting better and your subconscious will adapt to it and function accordingly.

Train your brain to give a neutral spin to all your negative thoughts. Since, building a positive mindset isn’t an easy task to do, the neutral thoughts will help you keep the negativity at bay and aid you in paving your path towards positivity.

2. Cultivate self-love

If you have been waiting for a pair of arms to reach out and rescue you, you might just have to wait longer. Instead, be your own messiah. In order to do so, you have to perfect the art of self-love. Nurture your narcissism a bit and learn to appreciate yourself more often.

Learn to turn down offers politely and indulge in some quality Me-time. Bake your favorite cake or shop for the dress that you had been eyeing for quite some time now. Go get a spa treatment and appreciate the daily efforts that you make.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown

3. Keep yourself busy

The key to ward off negativity is to keep your brain busy, so that it does not get the time to breed ill thoughts. Considering how the descent towards the abysmal pit of depression starts at our workstation, I would suggest that you find engagements outside your workplace that helps your mind to relax.

You can try reading lighthearted literature. A personal favorite, the Chicken Soup for the Soul, can actually nurture your brain with the much-needed optimism to fight away the negative blues. Listen to happy, soulful music or take a stroll in the fresh air.

4. Surround yourself with positivity

People around us have the power to affect us – in both positive and negative ways. Their actions affect us, and we take their words to heart. Quite often, negative thoughts cloud our minds because of a seed that was sown by someone we hold close to our hearts. The people we walk and talk with are capable of influencing our emotions. So, you must choose your company wisely.

Surround yourself with people who care for you and love you. Love is the only magic potion for us muggles, and with the right kind of love and support, we can eliminate the negative thoughts that wreak havoc in our brains. Also, learn to block unwanted people from your lives.

5. Be a social butterfly

In this age of social media, we have more virtual friends than actual friends. So, come out of the virtual world and spend some time with your family and friends. Your family members fall among the ones who love you just as you are. At the end of the day, they are the ones who matter.

Moreover, when you go out of your way to help someone, you feel more positive. Rescuing someone from the same pit of darkness as you are in can help you ward off your own demons. So, don’t shy away from community work.

“Society is like a large piece of frozen water; and skating well is the great art of social life.” – Letitia Elizabeth Landon

6. Lead a healthy life

Exercise and meditation can be of immense help when it comes to overcoming stress and negative thoughts. When you exercise, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin which play an important role in regulating your mood. Mediation helps you to increase your brain power and aligns your thought processes towards optimism.

Other than exercising, you must get enough sleep. Proper sleep helps our bodies to recover from the daily toil and provides it with the time to repair. Also, try to eat healthy food. Avoid gluten, caffeine, and sugar as they make you bitter and depressed. Keep your body healthy, which in turn will tell your brain to be more positive.

7. Make your ambiance teem with positivity

Other than exercising and eating healthy, you can take little steps like drawing yourself a bath or sleeping with a heavier comforter on to make yourself feel more calm and composed. When you feel rejuvenated physically, your mind will automatically feel relaxed.

Get your upholstery in happier shades of light pastels and make sure that your room is adequately lit up. However small these changes might be, they will welcome positivity into your life.

In the end, I would like to emphasize the importance of reducing stress. Train your brain to focus on the brighter side of things, so that depression and negativity cannot take a toll on your mental health. Trust me when I say that you are stronger than you think!

Which one of these 7 tips to eliminate negative thoughts do you need to work on most? Let us know how you’re going to work on it below!

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