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6 Valuable Life Lessons Shared By A 17 Year Old Boy

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Bilaal Rajan Life Lessons

It’s never too early to start. That’s what I learned from Bilaal Rajan a 17-year-old who has helped raised money for many different causes. At the age of 4 Bilaal started out selling fruit door-to-door in his neighborhood to raise funds for the victims of the earthquakes in a province of India. He is a globally recognized motivational speaker, published author, tireless fundraiser, and UNICEF Canada Ambassador. Last October, he spoke during the Fifth Global Summit of Values.

Here are 6 important lessons Bilaal Rajan shared and how we can apply them to our lives today.

 

 

Bilaal Rajan’s Life Lessons

 

1. Have goals

If you know where you want to go, you can get there. A very important thing in your personal and professional life is to set goals. Take time aside from your busy schedule to establish your goals. Once you have an idea of what they look like you can start finding ways to get there, and of course if you have a destination, it’s easier to get going.

Plus: If you write them down and place them somewhere you can see them every day, when you get up and go to sleep, you’ll keep them in mind and this will help you stay focused and motivated.

 

2. Think before you act

Very often we may do or say things and then regret doing so. Instead, think twice before you say or do something. To double-check use the THINK acronym. Ask yourself, is what I am about to say, True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind? If you answered yes, to each and every one then proceed. If your answer is no, you might want to stop before your actions turn into regrets.

 

3. Listen hard, don’t hardly listen

It’s so easy to get distracted nowadays, but listening to someone is the real way to connect. People can tell if you are really paying attention. Your ability to listen is something you can work on and it is a great way to show someone how much you care about them.

Next time you are speaking to a person really focus on the conversation and set aside your distractions. Begin by putting your phone away and resist the temptation on reading every notification you get, it can always wait until later.

 

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4. The importance of urgency

Leaving everything for tomorrow is not a good habit. It’s very common to start a project 1 hour before the deadline, the downside is that you get so stressed and hurried to finish when you could have spared the anxiety by completing it weeks ago.

If you want to be less stressed and more relaxed, you can schedule things in order to finish them on time without the pressure.

A very helpful tool is to write down all your “to do’s”, and then categorize them in A, B and C, according to their deadline and their importance to you. Recognising that A is extremely important, B is important and C is somewhat important, you can then plan accordingly.

 

5. Strength in numbers

A group of people can make a difference, but the strength of the numbers is not only in the actual number of individuals but in the organization and direction that drives them. If everybody is pulling to a different side then there will be hardly any movement, but if they share the same direction they can conquer any mountain together.

So don’t be afraid to have a vision and share it with your group, this is the key to building strength in any community or organization.

 

6. Visualize

The power of the mind is incredible, so a good tactic is to visualize what you want to achieve. For just a few minutes close your eyes, then picture yourself where you want to be and feel like you are already there. Repeat this action each and every morning.

It’s never too early to start, so why not start today.

 

 

Bilaal Rajan When He Was Younger

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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