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5 Ways to Let Go of the Past for Good

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Are you struggling to let go of your past? Without letting go of your previously lived conflicts, struggles, and doubts you are left reliving the past. You must bring clarity into your life to start living presently. The present moment is where the magic happens and if you are stuck in the past, moving forward seems incomprehensible.

Everyone has a story they identify with. It’s the attachment to that story that inhibits you. Facing your soul on a deep, honest level is a tough act to do. But it’s required if you want to see yourself take action in the present, without the burdens of your past constantly over your shoulder.

You are a completely different person from a second ago. The atoms, molecules, and cells that make up your body are in constant motion. Life is in a state of change, with or without you. You are not the same person you were even a second ago, let alone years.

Letting go of your past is how you take a stand in your life. With courage and heart, you are capable of doing the impossible. You can let go of the past, once and for all. Healing your mind heals your present, it’s a requirement if you wish to live a fulfilling life.

Below are the 5 ways to begin letting go of your past, for good:

1. Meditation

At the core of your suffering is attachment. Meditation is vital for understanding that “This Too Shall Pass”. Observing your thoughts and beliefs lets you see them from a different perspective.

You don’t need to become a monk sitting in a cave to benefit from meditation. Even 5-10 minutes a day can drastically improve your life. Meditation empowers you to be present with your past, forcing you to look deep inside the psyche.

Your past will linger in your subconscious if you are unable to let go. Meditation allows your subconscious thoughts to come to the surface, giving you a chance to come to terms with them. By witnessing the present moment through meditation you are automatically letting go of the past.

“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” –Deepak Chopra

2. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is not meditation but one cannot exist without the other. Becoming mindful of your thoughts is how you become conscious of the conflicts within the mind. When your mind brings up your past leaving you in a battle, you can utilize mindfulness like so:

Let yourself be with the thought. See how it makes you feel, what emotions it brings up. 

Ask yourself if this thought is you, right now, or if it is just a thought that is passing through. Try to be with the emotion as much as you can bear, that’s the key to letting the past go. If you get overwhelmed, feel free to take a break.

Meditation and mindfulness are not overnight solutions. They are incredibly impactful when used in conjunction with one another. Don’t expect to be cured in a day. With constant practice the impact they can have on your mental health is incredible.

3. Forgiveness

Forgive others even when they shouldn’t be forgiven. People we cross paths with can bring immense pain that lasts years. Whether it be friends, family, an ex, forgive them.

You aren’t forgiving them to help them, it’s to help yourself. Bottling up those negative emotions inside you has never been of any help. Letting anger fester is how you let the past control your present. 

Forgive yourself as well. You may have made some mistakes, it doesn’t mean you need to live IN your mistakes. Life has changed and so have you, it’s a simple yet powerful way of letting go.

4. Acceptance

Conflict resides within us when we are in disagreement with reality. This disagreement is what latches onto our psyche. Acceptance is a deceptively simple practice that is often overlooked. What would your life look like if you were in acceptance of the present moment? 

You wouldn’t have any internal conflicts, struggles, or doubts. There would only be the present moment left, letting you take charge of your life without anything holding you down. Freedom is found by accepting our past, who we are, and moving forward.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” –Lao Tzu

5. Ask for Help

You don’t have to go through life alone. Some of my best releases in life was letting it all out and showing the emotions that were eating me alive. When someone is there to listen, it makes a difference.

If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to your family or friends, look into counseling. The stigma of therapy is long gone. Being able to open up to someone who isn’t involved in your life can be incredibly therapeutic. 

It’s your chance to be honest not only with yourself but the person you are talking with. Our family and friends are there to support us just as we support them in times of need. You aren’t a burden even if you think so.

Be open to experiencing the negative emotions that your past brings up. By facing your soul head-on you are letting your emotions run their course. You won’t be haunted forever. You have all the tools needed to let go of your past. Give yourself time, you won’t be cured overnight. With dedication, though, you will find the relief you are looking for.

My name is Roy Cohen. I’ve been on a spiritual path for over 10 years and my goal is to help as many people as possible on their journey. If you’d like to see more of work, head over to my website Claiming Clarity where I focus on answering deep questions in life, mindfulness, and spirituality.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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