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3 Simple Commitments You Can Make That Will Change Your Habits for the Better

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It’s no secret that the year 2020 has been the most trying year for the majority of us. Most of us had to pivot in our careers, professions, education, etc. At the same time, we’ve had to embrace a lot of changes from the way we shop, eat, communicate with our loved ones, colleagues, and even complete strangers. Most have had to try new things, learn to rely on technology and make sacrifices they never thought they would have to make.

With all of that taking place, the one thing we can’t lose is our determination to keep moving forward and achieving the goals that we have set out for ourselves. It is something that we can look forward to and keep our purpose in the “windshield” of our daily lives. Better stated is that we cannot sacrifice our daily commitments regardless of the economical and personal “climates” that are around us.

Here are three simple commitments that we can make right now that will change our habits for the better and, more importantly, for the greater good in our lives as well:

1. Make your bed

Perhaps the easiest and yet most overlooked commitment that we can make to ourselves every single day is to make the bed. This seems trivial to most; however, making your bed in the morning can have a major impact on your mental and physical health. Having that sense of accomplishment to start your day off is so important and according to a study done by CNBC, it showed that 82% of people who make their bed first thing in the morning felt productive all day because they completed that small task to start their day.

At the same time, 74% of those that make their bed in the morning felt productive at the end of the day as well as the 50% of non-bed makers did not feel accomplished at the end of the day.  According to the same study, those that make their bed were immediately productive when they arrived at work while those that did not make their bed did not start their work day productive at all.

“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.” – Benjamin Franklin

2. Write down your goals

Writing down your goals everyday is not only an easy commitment to make to yourself but a very important one as well. If you polled the most successful business minds and entrepreneurs in the world about what their daily habits consist of, most would include writing down their goals as one of those habits. In a study conducted by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominica University in California, found that participants were 42% more likely to achieve their goals just by writing them down.

I personally write my goals down in the morning and then again when I go to bed at night. For me, writing down your goals is such a commitment of empowerment because you are not only taking the time to write them down but by doing so you are affirming to yourself those things that are important to you and have a bigger meaning for you as well. It is such an important habit to create for yourself because, in my opinion, writing down your goals every day is a way to measure your progress as well as give you a sense of purpose which serves as your daily “checkup from the neck up”.

3. Tell someone thank you

According to an article written in Forbes online by Jon Dwoskin, it was stated that the greatest gift that you can give someone is to show them that they matter. One of the ways that you can do that is to say thank you to them. This is also a commitment that you need to make right now to do every single day until it becomes a habit. This is a selfish habit because, for me it brings so much more than just a warm feeling of doing something nice.

It offers me a sense of accomplishment in knowing that by telling someone you know or even a complete stranger thank you, you are positively impacting that person’s current mood and mindset. At the same time, you never know how impactful those two words could be to someone.

For example, I remember a time when someone purchased my Starbucks for me in the drive thru and I paid it forward by doing the same for someone behind me. That person honked the horn at me then pulled up next to me at a redlight just to tell me thank you. That particular morning was not a great one for me and I remember how good I felt after that person took the time to go completely out of her way just to say thank you to me. It totally shifted my mindset from feeling down and somewhat depressed to being very upbeat and almost euphoric.

I now make it a habit every single day to tell at least three people thank you no matter if I know them or not because I want to be an agent of change in the world for good and I can’t think of a better habit to have in that regards than to tell someone thank you and be thankful for those opportunities to do so. 

“The soul, like the body, accepts by practice whatever habit one wishes it to contact.” – Socrates

These three simple habits are costly, they don’t require a fancy education, and certain places on the economical hierarchy but rather are free and easy to apply right away in your life. Previously in this article I paraphrased someone that said the best gift you could give someone is to show them that they matter. While that is right, I believe the best gift you could give yourself is to show you that you matter and in doing so it starts with the habits that you will create in your life. Start with these three and if you do them everyday just sit back and watch the impact that it has on your life and the lives of others that your example sets for them as well. 

Matt Crane is a former NCAA & Professional athlete turned sales and marketing entrepreneur.  In 2014 Matt launched his company Matt Crane Enterprises and now helps companies grow their sales and marketing presence. Matt is a professional blogger and ghostwriter featured in publications such as Huffington Post, Influencive, and Prsuit.  He launched the Power Of Great Podcast in July of this year where he has interviewed successful entrepreneurs and business leaders such as Grant Cardone, Shawn Thomas, Jeffery Gitomer, and John Lee Dumas to name a few. Matt believes that your current situation is not your defining moment and that is why he is addicted to success.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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