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Acceptance is the Key to Resiliency and Success

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I was sitting on the sofa, waves of emotions poured through my thoughts streaming downwards from my mind into my heart. They are the sensations that wrap the mind in a fog or steal up the heart into a ball of anxiety. I allowed somewhat of a sarcastic puff of air to exhale out of me, blankly staring forward looking at my dog laying on the floor and the pile of dishes in the sink. I laughed at myself.

“This is what I do for a living,” I said out loud. My dog just gazed up at me with his perfect golden retriever eyes. These are the moments I walk people through everyday, when the mind goes blank or anxiety tightens the breath. When the burdens of life and living increase upon the back, neck and shoulders closing in on the individual’s breaking point. These are the very moments I train people on how to use a variety of tools and methods to find center, calm and grounding amidst the onslaught. 

As all of us can, I recognize that the life I live out in the world can be seen and experienced one way while the life I live at home, in private, can be lived out in another. Do I walk the talk? Do I live the practices I teach? Do I pause, take a deeper breath, refocus and hold to intention when  the waves of emotion or stress build up and the undertow threatens to pull me under? 

It is important to me to live congruently. What do I mean by that? I think we all know the person, perhaps we have lived being that person, where we are more like a chameleon of sorts, living one way within one set of circumstances only to show a different face in another. I’ve been that person whose shape shifting skills reached an admirable level, being a people pleaser while also longing to keep the peace I could morph my body into all sorts of contorted positions. 

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” ― J.K. Rowling

I was also truly apt at hiding what was going on within the insides, creating a facade of peace and strength while my interior was crumbling. I learned how to show up, play the part and be the actor on the stage. My body and mind paid the price as the reality of sustaining such practices became wearisome, it was not the life I wanted to be living.

Moments as I was having on my sofa, cross the paths of our lives all too often. They are always going to come, that is the truth about living in today’s world. What you and I do next is where the real story begins. I wish I could say that with all the skills I possess as a yoga therapist and spiritual advisor, I instantly snapped out of that space, but that would not be the case. I did place my feet more firmly upon the floor lengthening my breath, lifting myself from a slumping position to create intention deep within my body. It is those seemingly small adjustments that create different spaces time and time again. As it would be, something did happen that turned my sarcastic grin into a genuine smile.

In that moment something came back to me to serve as an anchor in the storm. I remembered being in two places at one time during a visit to an amusement park. This one in particular straddles the state lines of North and South Carolina where there exists a painted line that provides just such a space. I remembered the fun of it and the pictures that were taken, most importantly, I acknowledged that it was possible. It was the shift I needed to remind myself that one doesn’t have to pretend to not be where one is currently physically, emotionally and mentally. I can be in two places in one moment recognizing the stressors and anxiety of the day while remembering the practices that abide deep within my sense of being. 

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

Acceptance is the very gateway to resiliency. Allowing oneself to be “both and,” or giving yourself permission to be in a bad mood, anxious or frustrated is key to your daily success. Take the labels off of what are deemed “bad” emotions in order to give them space to breath and move through the moment. It isn’t about feigning peace or contentment beyond what is actually happening but, being with what is actually happening. I can acknowledge that I do, indeed, know what to do in moments like the one I was having on the sofa AND I can still have the moments like the one I was having on the sofa and so can you. It is this ONE secret that has built up the resiliency in my life that has launched me into successful daily living.

Elle Miller is a trauma-informed C-IAYT yoga therapist and Body Advocate working to bring transformation into the workplace. Her speciality is  finding spaces that shift anxiety and burn out, zoom fatigue and disconnection. She created The Listening Project as a means to show  how subversive the very act of learning how to listen can become. Connect with her at Elle@LivingMangaliso.com to schedule your personal session or to find out more about our corporate offerings.

Success Advice

The 3 Step Process to Building a Profitable Pitch

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As a communication coach, one of the top questions entrepreneurs ask me is how to deliver a winning pitch to potential investors. They want to know if there’s a magic formula to get an investor to say yes and buy into their dream and their business. (more…)

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The 4 Pillars of Wealth and Abundance

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Have you ever wondered what the formula for a wealthy and abundant life is? Many people have. Lots has been written about the subject of wealth creation and living an abundant life. It was a breaking point in my journey and pursuit of success when I found out that there is a clear path to achieve success in life. Thanks to those who have shared their journey, we can clearly see and follow the principles of prosperity. (more…)

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Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

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7 of the Biggest Enemies Stopping You From Success

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Everyone wants to be successful. It is a thing we all wish for. We want to achieve mind-blowing success. However, the road to success is not so easy. And the funniest part is, you are the one to determine whether you become successful or not. (more…)

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