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Your Differences Are Actually Your Greatest Professional Strengths

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You’re a night owl, a mother, a daydreamer. Or maybe you grew up economically disadvantaged or deep in rural isolation. Whatever your personal difference is, you’ve likely been conditioned to believe it’s a weakness—a flaw. Something to be hidden at work.

I’m here to tell you that what you think is your weakness might, in fact, be your biggest professional strength. Our personal stories influence how we think about our abilities, achievements, and possibilities, and often, our views of ourselves are more negative than the assessments from our peers. 

When You’re Different from Your Peers

I worked with a young leader in private equity named Emily who struggled with reconciling her difference from her peers, and her story taught me a lot about how we view the things that set us apart.

Emily is a bright, engaging woman with a powerful track record of achievement. A graduate of both Harvard University and Harvard Business School, she left Boston to join an elite private equity firm in California. She was promoted early and often and was soon sitting on the forty-fourth floor in a corner office. She is polished, confident, and attractive. She’s perfect, at first glance.

During our first meeting, she confessed she was exhausted. “I’m trying to keep up, but I don’t think I can. Everyone else has more time to focus on sourcing and researching deals than I do. My toddler is teething, and he’s up most of the night. I can’t stay awake when I work late at my laptop. I just keep dozing off, and I know I’m falling behind.”

Emily had looked at her peers and realized three things: First, they were all male. Second, none had children or other significant family responsibilities. Third, they each worked all day, every day. She believed that to be successful in this environment, she had to look and sound like the people around her.

Emily worked hard to remove all traces of her son from her work life. When he was born, she was checking email shortly after they left the hospital and was back in the office within six weeks. She rarely talked about him and had a deep list of nannies on call to help her stay late and start early.

“I can’t afford to be different,” she told me. We later learned Emily’s peers and manager were strongly hoping she’d be exactly that.

“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” – Albert Einstein

Personal Differences Help Evolve the Status Quo

Often, people and companies get stuck in routines. They develop a “way we’ve always done it,” and change becomes difficult. One benefit of having people with personal differences on a team is that those differences can introduce positive change that might otherwise not be considered.

For example, shortly after Emily returned to work from parental leave, her team had to deliver a pitch in New York. The three-hour meeting required six team members to fly cross-country and return in one twenty-four-hour period. Emily, nursing an infant, couldn’t figure out how to make that work and, after agonizing about her decision, asked if the team would consider a virtual option for the meeting. Could they pitch via video?

The team agreed, and the pitch went well. It was a long shot, though, and the client ultimately selected a firm with deeper experience in their niche. The team’s physical presence wouldn’t have made a difference. When they heard the news, the team members were grateful not to have spent a dozen hours in the air that day.

We Are Our Harshest Critics

Two years later, eight of the nine team members remember that pitch as successful because, while it didn’t result in new business, it allowed the team to practice their skills at pitching virtually. But Emily has never considered the day a success.

She is the lone team member who views that pitch, and that full episode, as unsuccessful. She tells herself that her proposal, and the team’s accommodation of her request, cost everyone a long-shot win.

Emily is telling herself a story about her difference. Some parts are true. She did ask the team to accommodate her need to be home with her baby. The team did lose the pitch. Those are facts.

But some parts of the story are her interpretation of the events. Her interpretation, or assessment, is different than the assessment of her team members. She believes that the pitch was lost because the team didn’t travel. She believes that the team prefers to travel, that the team puts that long-ago loss in her column, and that she now must make up that loss.

Her colleagues, however, believe the opposite. One senior partner told me, “I wish Emily would rock the boat more often. We’re looking for innovators and visionaries. She’s a great worker, but she does things the way they’ve always been done. Except for that time when she recommended we not travel to a long-shot pitch.”

Emily’s colleagues not only approved of her different behavior, but also hoped that she’d engage in it more. 

“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. A lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.” – Emma Stone

Embrace Your Differences

The lesson to take from Emily’s story is that we tend to view our differences through the harshest lens. We assume anything that goes against the status quo is wrong, a mistake, when in reality, breaking the mold is often seen as creative, confident, and innovative. These are qualities that many companies value greatly.

By embracing your differences, you open yourself up to exciting opportunities and force progress by mixing up old habits, which will take you further professionally than playing it safe and conforming ever will. 

Danessa is an executive coach, CEO, and keynote speaker shifting the global conversation on leadership. She has coached hundreds of executives across every major industry and has developed a reputation as a candid, compassionate and courageous leadership partner. She is the best-selling author of the leadership manual, Naked at Work.

Life

7 Quiet Signs You’re Making Far More Progress Than You Think

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a black male founder in his mid-30s working early in the morning at a minimalist dark walnut desk to improve his life and ahcive more success
Image Credit: Addicted2success

Most people measure a year by the thing they can point at. The promotion, the number, the before-and-after. If none of those arrived, they call the year flat, and they start looking for a new plan. I have done that. The plan was rarely the problem. The measuring was.

Progress, the kind that actually compounds, is usually quieter than the speech you wanted to give about it. It shows up as a reaction you did not have, a conversation you did not need, a week that looked ordinary and was not. If you only count the loud version, you will keep restarting things that were already working.

Here are seven signs the work is further along than the scoreboard says.

  1. You get bored of the old drama

There is a fight you used to have with yourself, or with someone else, that no longer has the same pull. You can still start it. You just do not finish it, because halfway through you can hear how it ends, and the ending is no longer interesting. That is not numbness. That is a pattern losing its job.

I notice it in small places. A comment I would have answered at midnight. A comparison that used to ruin a Tuesday. The urge is still there some days. The follow-through is not, and the follow-through was the expensive part. If the old drama has started to feel like a rerun, you are not stuck. You are done with a scene, which is how a person actually changes. Not in a speech. In the moment they do not pick the argument up.

  1. Your standards got quieter and harder

Early on, standards are loud. You announce them. You buy the thing. You tell someone. Later, if the work is real, the standard stops needing an audience. You do the unglamorous version because not doing it would bother you, not because anyone is watching.

That shift is easy to miss, because it does not photograph well. A man who trains when no one will ask about it, or who answers the email he used to leave for Monday, has moved. He just cannot post it. I have written about the version of this that looks like coasting from the outside, in the habits that keep a person effective and ordinary at the same time. Ordinary is not the insult it sounds like. Ordinary and consistent is how most finished things actually look.

  1. You can sit with a slow week

A slow week used to mean something was wrong. You would add a project, or a rule, or a new morning, just to feel the engine. Now a slow week can just be a slow week. You do the smaller list. You do not invent a crisis to justify the pace.

This one took me longer than I want to admit. I treated a quiet fortnight like evidence I was slipping, and I would rearrange the work until it felt urgent again. Urgency is a feeling. It is not proof. If you can let a week be ordinary without burning the plan down, you have more control than the person who needs every Monday to feel like a launch. Control is progress, even when the calendar looks dull.

  1. Other people’s timelines stopped running your day

You still see what other people are doing. You are not a monk. The difference is that their timeline no longer sets yours. Someone younger gets the thing you wanted. Someone in your circle announces a number. You notice it, and then you go back to the work that was already on the table.

Comparison is not the sin people make it. Unexamined comparison is. When you can see the announcement and still know what your actual next step is, you have separated their life from your calendar. That separation is worth more than another goal. A lot of the stuck feeling in your late twenties and thirties is just other people’s milestones sitting in your head with your name on them. Taking your name off is a kind of progress nobody claps for.

  1. You recover faster from a bad day

The bad day still happens. You sleep badly, you snap at someone you like, you skip the thing you said you would do. The old version of you would make the bad day into a verdict, and the verdict would eat the next three days. Now the bad day is a bad day. You notice it, you do the next right small thing, and the week continues.

Speed of recovery is one of the few honest measures I trust. Not whether you fall. Whether the fall becomes a story you live in. If the story is getting shorter, you are further along, even if the fall itself looked the same as last year’s. I have a son now, and a marriage that is actually working, and both of those made the recovery matter more than the performance. A short bad day is a gift to the people who live with you. A three-day spiral is a tax they pay.

  1. You want less and you mean it

Not as a brand. As a fact. There are things you used to chase that you can now leave on the table without a speech about simplicity. The extra project. The room you do not need to be in. The opinion you do not need to win. Wanting less is not the same as giving up. Giving up has resentment in it. This does not.

I still want things. I want the site to keep earning, I want the work to be honest, I want to be in the room with my family and actually be there. What dropped was the pile of wants that were really about being seen wanting them. If your list got shorter and the remaining items got clearer, that is not a smaller life. That is a life with the costume off. People who build their days around a loud morning routine sometimes miss this, because the routine becomes another thing to perform. The useful version is smaller, which is the point of the morning habits that survive a normal week, not the version that needs a perfect house.

  1. You can name the next step without a new identity

This is the one I trust most. You do not need to become a different man to do the next thing. You need an hour, or a page, or a conversation. The old pattern was to wait until you felt like the person who finishes things, and then start. The newer pattern is to do the step as the person you already are, on a Tuesday, with the dishes still in the sink.

If you can say the next step out loud without attaching it to a reinvention, you are further along than the feeling suggests. Reinvention is often just fear in a nicer outfit. The step is the work. Write it down somewhere you will see it tomorrow, not in a new system. A note is enough. Some people keep that note in a journal because the phone turns the note into a feed. A plain notebook still works. If you want the digital version, a simple habit tracker like Todoist is the one a lot of operators end up with, not because the app is wise, but because it will hold the next step without asking you to become someone else first.

What to do with this

Do not turn the seven into a score. You will have three of them on a good month and one of them on a hard one. The use of the list is to stop calling a quiet stretch a failure. Pick the sign that is already true, even partly, and do not redesign around it. Then name the next step for the thing you have been measuring too loudly.

If you have lived one of these and can say what it actually felt like, without a program in the first line, the Write for Us page is where that goes. The reader is in a year that looks flat from the outside. Help them see the quieter evidence, or leave the page alone.

You are probably not behind. You are in the middle, which is the part nobody posts, and the only part that counts.

Here’s a powerful interview I did with Dr John Demartini on how you can get into more alignment in your life to achieve an even greater level of success:

 

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Life

6 Reasons You Keep Restarting and Never Finish

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

The first week of a new plan is always pristine.

You buy a fresh notebook. You color-code the calendar. You set an uncompromising rule about your phone. You tell a friend over dinner, which makes the ambition feel real for about four days.

Then a bad night happens. The notebook ends up buried under a magazine, the phone rule acquires an asterisk, and by the following Monday, you aren’t continuing what you started. You are founding something new.

Founding feels infinitely better than continuing. Founding comes with a speech.

Many of us have run this exact loop… with physical fitness, with morning routines, or with a business idea that didn’t need a new name; it just needed another month of work. The speech is almost always better than the month. But that speech isn’t a moral failing; it is a psychological maneuver your mind pulls when the middle of a project stops being flattering.

1. The Start is the Only Part That Compliments You

A beginning comes with visible proof. You showed up. You bought the gear. You told your partner your grand plan. Those actions are noticeable, and visibility feels like progress even when nothing of substance has moved.

The middle doesn’t compliment you. The middle is an unglamorous repetition that looks, from the outside, like you’re simply doing the exact same small task again. Yet that repetition is precisely what finishing requires… and precisely what pride resists.

So you change the strategy. A new strategy offers a new start, and a new start gives you the compliment back. You get to feel like the serious, ambitious person again without having to endure week six of the old routine.

Week six is where most plans die. Not in a dramatic crash, but in a quiet redesign.

2. You Are Negotiating With a Mood

The plan was designed during a peak, high-energy hour. The actual labor takes place in an ordinary one.

Ordinary hours rarely match the high-minded energy of the person who wrote the plan. So you wait for that inspired feeling to return, calling the delay “maintaining standards.” Standards are vital. Using them to skip the work isn’t maintaining standards—it’s a veto.

Instead of asking whether you feel like the person who wrote the plan, ask a simpler question: Is the plan still the right one?

Most days, the plan is entirely fine and your mood is completely irrelevant. On the rare days something actually needs changing, you should be able to point to a specific variable in the work itself, not a shift in your chest. If you cannot name a concrete change in the work, you aren’t revising. You’re escaping.

Anyone who has navigated a prolonged season of career uncertainty will recognize this impulse. It stems from the same restlessness as the quarter-life stretch, where the old trajectory stops fitting and announcing a new direction feels far easier than living through it. Announcing is cheap. Living the next month is where the real price is paid.

3. The Audience in Your Head Needs a Plot

A lot of restarting isn’t even done for yourself; it’s done for the imaginary audience watching your life. A clean slate makes for a far better story than a messy, slow continuation.

You can pitch a clean slate over dinner. You can’t pitch week nine… because week nine sounds like, “I did the basic thing again today,” and that sentence doesn’t get applause.

This trap frequently shows up in digital projects: launching a new series or pivoting tone when the original approach hadn’t actually failed. It had simply become familiar, and familiarity was mistaken for decline.

Yet, familiarity is often the beginning of results. The outcome doesn’t care that you’ve grown bored of the method.

  • Boredom is not data.
  • A metric moving in the wrong direction for a full quarter is data.

Throwing out methods out of boredom is a trap; keeping methods you dislike because the data is honest is the habit that actually finishes things.

4. You Made the Plan Too Loud for a Normal Week

A system that requires a flawless morning will collapse the day your child wakes up sick, a flight gets rescheduled, or a poor night’s sleep wipes out your first productive hour. That isn’t a character flaw… it’s an architectural flaw. If your workflow only succeeds on days you are proud of, it isn’t a strategy; it’s a costume.

Shrink the execution threshold until it can survive a terrible day. Don’t treat that smaller version as a consolation prize… treat it as the core system. The ambitious version is an optional bonus. The bad-day version is what builds momentum, because bad days make up most of life when you’re actively building something real.

If you have a young child, the morning routine you once guarded like a sacred ritual becomes a daily negotiation. The work that survives that reality is the work designed with a smaller door. Ten minutes that actually happen are worth vastly more than an hour that requires a silent house.

If even the smaller door won’t open, the friction usually isn’t the plan itself—it’s the internal noise beneath it. It’s the ongoing mental war over whether you’re falling behind, an argument that consumes your focus before you even sit down. Silencing that internal noise long enough to execute an ordinary task is a completely separate skill, the same work as stopping the war in your head, and buying another notebook won’t solve it.

5. Quitting and Restarting Feel Like the Same Act

This is the most deceptive loop. You abandon the gym, the draft, the diet, or the offer, and within a week you replace it with an “upgraded” version. Because it looks like an upgrade, it doesn’t feel like quitting.

Stacked upgrades are how entire years disappear. You can accumulate polished beginnings indefinitely until you’re left with a drawer full of starts and nothing that has survived in the real world long enough to be judged.

Give every plan a strict term before you write its obituary. Ninety days is long enough to yield data and short enough to endure.

Write that timeframe down where you will see it when the urge to pivot hits. On that day, the question isn’t whether a better system exists—a better system always exists. The question is whether your current system has served its agreed term. If it hasn’t, the urge to switch is just an emotion. Emotions are valid, but they don’t get to rewrite the strategy.

6. You Haven’t Defined What “Finished” Looks Like

Restarting thrives when the finish line is defined by a mood:

  • “When I feel confident.”
  • “When it’s good enough to show.”
  • “When I become the kind of person who does this.”

These aren’t finish lines; they are moving goalposts. You cannot walk through a moving door, so you construct a new hallway and label it “strategy.”

Instead, define a finish line that an objective stranger could verify:

  • Published, not polished.
  • Four completed sessions in a month, not a life transformation.
  • One offer sent, not a complete brand overhaul.

The stranger doesn’t need to be there; the criteria just needs to be that clear. If you cannot state precisely what counts as done, you will keep restarting—because starting is the only phase that doesn’t demand a clear definition.

Breaking the Cycle

The itch to reset will still happen: a new morning routine, a new batching framework, or an internal narrative that this time is different.

Sometimes this time is different—and the proof is that you can clearly state what you are stopping, not just what you are starting. If you can only describe the excitement of the start, wait a week. Most reset ideas will not survive those seven days. The ones that do are usually much smaller than the speech you prepared for them.

If restarting has become your default loop and your week is consumed by internal debate, that calls for an honest conversation rather than another planner. Some people work through it with a peer who refuses to applaud the speech. Others work through it with a mentor. Some utilize online therapy when that dedicated hour needs an objective professional with a calendar: BetterHelp is often the name that comes up when you need a structured environment with a professional. The tool itself matters far less than the act of telling the raw truth about your restart loop to someone who doesn’t need you to pretend you’re on track.

If you coach people through this exact cycle, or if you’ve broken out of it and can articulate what shifted without pitching a program in line one, our Write for Us page is open for those insights. Our readers are standing on the edge of another start of the week. Help them stick with the old plan, or leave the page alone.

The notebook under the stack of mail isn’t a verdict. It’s simply a draft that hasn’t finished its term. Pick it up, cross out the speech, and walk through the smaller door today. Tomorrow is the part you’ve been skipping.. and it’s the only part that actually counts.

What is one goal you’ve repeatedly restarted that you can commit to keeping on its current plan for the next 90 days without redesigning it?

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Life

What to do when you are busy and nothing is moving

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Most people are not stuck. They are occupied and occupation has become the proof that their life is going somewhere.

A full calendar, a cleared inbox, a course left open in a tab. From the inside it feels like motion. From the outside it is a person maintaining an identity. The identity is “someone who is working on it.” That identity is comfortable, because it never has to finish. Finishing would force a result into the world, and a result can be judged. Busyness cannot… Busyness can only be respected.

This is why a year can pass and look identical to the one before it. You did not waste it on the couch. You spent it protecting the story that effort and progress are the same thing. They are not. Effort is energy spent. Progress is a change in the world that was not there before you sat down. An invoice sent. A page that exists. A skill you can perform without the tutorial beside you. A decision that used to live in your head and now lives in someone else’s. If none of those appeared, you rehearsed. Rehearsal feels like training. It does not move the life.

The mind will argue with this, because the mind is loyal to the identity. It will offer the meetings, the late nights, the fact that you care. Caring is not evidence. Tired is not evidence. The only evidence is an artifact, something a stranger could encounter without you explaining how hard the week was. When that artifact is missing, people reach for a harsher story. They decide they are the kind of person who does not follow through. A lot of the signs people read as failure are this misreading. The pattern is real. The verdict is early. You have been reinforcing a self that stays in motion so it never has to become a self that ships.

Attention is the material. Not time. You can have twelve hours and still produce nothing, if those hours are leased out to whoever asked last. Other people’s urgency is a drug. It lets you feel necessary without choosing. Choice is heavier. Choice means one outcome for the week, named before the noise arrives, small enough to finish and specific enough that you will know if you lied. A theme is not an outcome. “Get healthier” and “work on the business” can survive any week unchanged. “The page is live” cannot.

When the smaller request shows up, and it will, with a person attached and a tone that implies you are difficult if you decline, that is the test. Saying yes keeps the identity intact. You remain the reliable one, the one who responds, the one whose calendar proves they are in demand. The cost of being that person is the outcome you named, quietly deleted so you can stay liked. One refusal is not a personality. It is how the chosen thing survives.

The rest is almost dull, which is why people skip it for another system. Preparation without a point at which it must become the thing is a sophisticated form of delay. Research feels like virtue. A draft, even a bad one, is a commitment. Before you leave the work, leave a trace of the outcome, not a trace of your responsiveness. A paragraph. A number. A message that asks for the decision. The trace is what your future attention will be able to build on. A memory of having been busy will not be there. Memory keeps the stress and misplaces the output.

Do this long enough and the identity starts to lose. Not in a speech. In a pile. Weeks that each left one finished thing do not feel like a reinvention while you are inside them. They feel like slightly less drama. Later, the life is different, because you stopped using activity as a substitute for becoming the person who completes.

Busy was never the problem. Busy was the costume. The work moves when you are willing to be seen with a result, instead of with a schedule.

Here is a video I shot on YouTube about how you can get unstuck:

Enjoy!

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Life

The Legal Details That Matter When Pursuing a Wrongful Death Lawsuit

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

A wrongful death case is not a story most founders expect to be in. It arrives as a call, a name, and a stack of questions that do not wait until the business is quieter. Who is allowed to file, who else may be responsible, what can be proved, what the family has lost, and how long the law gives you all sit underneath the outcome. The piece below is the plain version of those questions, before anyone is asked to guess at a result.

Several legal questions sit behind a wrongful death lawsuit long before the case reaches a final outcome. The people involved, the party who may be responsible, the evidence available, the losses that can be documented, and the deadline for taking legal action can all affect how the case is handled. Pursuing a wrongful death lawsuit therefore involves more than presenting the basic facts surrounding a death.

Each detail has its own place in the legal process, and some issues may require closer review than others. Looking at these details together helps show what can shape the case from its foundation through the stages that follow.

Establishing Who Can Bring the Lawsuit

The first legal detail is identifying who has the right to bring a wrongful death lawsuit. The answer is not the same in every situation because state laws can set specific rules about who may file and how the case may be handled.

A surviving spouse, child, parent, or another eligible person may have a role under the law that applies to the case. In some situations, a personal representative of the estate may also be involved.

The relationship between the person who died and the person bringing the case can therefore matter. Legal records may be needed to establish that relationship and the person’s role in the lawsuit.

Identifying the Parties Connected to the Death

A wrongful death case also requires attention to the parties connected to what happened. The person responsible may not always be the only party involved. Depending on the circumstances, a business, employer, property owner, driver, or another organization may have a connection to the events.

The available facts help identify which parties need to be considered. Accident reports, workplace records, property information, medical records, and other documents may provide useful details about the circumstances.

Identifying the right parties early can help keep the case focused. It also gives the legal process a clearer record of who may be connected to the events being examined.

Building the Case Around Evidence

Evidence gives structure to the facts of a wrongful death case. Without a clear record, important parts of the circumstances may be difficult to establish.

Relevant evidence can include:

  • Police or accident reports
  • Medical records
  • Photographs and video
  • Witness statements
  • Employment and financial records

Each source can provide a different part of the account. A photograph may show conditions at an accident scene, while a witness statement may describe what was seen. Medical records can provide information about the injuries and treatment that followed.

The strength of the record depends on the facts and evidence available. Each document needs to be reviewed in relation to the circumstances of the death.

Understanding the Losses That May Be Part of the Lawsuit

The legal details do not stop with the cause of death. A wrongful death case may also involve losses connected to the person who died and the surviving family members.

Depending on the law that applies, these losses may include funeral expenses, medical costs related to the final injury or illness, lost income, and other documented losses. Some laws may also recognize other types of damages.

The records supporting these losses can be important. Bills, income records, employment documents, and other financial information can help show the amounts involved.

The types of losses that may be considered depend on the applicable law and facts of the case, so each matter requires its own review.

Paying Attention to the Filing Deadline

Time can become one of the most important legal details in a wrongful death lawsuit. Laws often set a deadline for starting legal action, commonly known as a statute of limitations.

That deadline is not necessarily the same for every case. It can depend on the state, the type of claim, and other facts surrounding the death. Certain circumstances may also affect how the deadline is calculated.

Because missing a legal deadline can affect the ability to pursue a case, the applicable time limit needs to be identified as part of the legal review.

Preparing for Disputes Over Fault or Damages

A wrongful death lawsuit may involve disagreements about responsibility or the losses being claimed. The opposing side may challenge the facts, question the evidence, or disagree about the amount of damages.

These disputes can bring more attention to the records supporting the case. Witness accounts may need to be compared, documents may need further review, and certain facts may remain contested.

A disagreement does not mean every part of the case is unclear. It means the disputed points need to be separated from the facts that can be supported by available evidence.

Bringing the Legal Details Together

By the end of the review, the strength of the case often comes down to how well its separate details fit together. Who can bring the lawsuit, which parties may be involved, the evidence available, the losses that can be documented, and the applicable deadlines all have a place in the process.

Pursuing a wrongful death lawsuit means keeping these details connected while paying attention to anything that could affect the case later. A careful review can help keep the focus on the facts, the available evidence, and the circumstances surrounding the death.

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