Life

5 Steps to Figure Out How to Break Free From Whatever Is Holding You Back

Published

6 years ago

Jul 27, 2017

Superman might leap tall buildings in a single bound, but even he can’t ward off its paralyzing effects. Is there something in your life you consider kryptonite? Maybe it’s, a person, someone who always brings you down when you reveal your true self. It’s almost as if they have the ability to suck the blood out of your soul, like a living Dracula.

They take your otherwise positive outlook and transform you into what they are: a negative, defeated person. It could be a boss or co-worker who prompts you to feel you can’t do anything right. Whatever the case, you are rendered powerless and weakened.

Maybe your kryptonite isn’t a person; maybe it’s a deadbeat job. It could even be a certain food you can’t resist, and you overindulge and gain undesired weight. It could be drugs, alcohol, or smoking. Even peer pressure from friends and loved one’s can be a disguise for those looking for their own benefits from you.

Perhaps you replay your past failures and missteps which can wreak havoc on your present holding you in fear of the next step. The results in all of these examples are the same: they drag you down and paralyze you from taking control of your future. Ask yourself, “What am I getting from all this?”

Instead of allowing you to reach your full potential, your kryptonite pulls you into its world. At this moment, the true inner you ends up muted and struggling to get out to be free.

Do yourself a favor and break out! Even if you stumble and fall, rise to your own expectations and be the true you. Whatever your kryptonite may be, take steps now to separate yourself from the circumstances that hold you back. Identify possible issues in your life, see them for what they are, and bring clarity forward in your heart and mind’s eye.

Take time to sit in a quiet place and think it through, the answer lies within you. You already know what it is however, you want to be sure about this before you move on. Knowledge combined with your experience provides the clues here in filling in the blank. This is one place where the past can provide you with some answers. Think it through from front to back before you prepare to apply this knowledge to change things for your future.

You’re already on track with this one. You recognize the situation, now see it for what it is and change it. Simple enough right? Nonetheless, this requires you to not only decide but commit to avoiding the issue that holds you back and avoiding its power over you. You must turn this into a “must do” and not a “should do” otherwise you will slip backwards into the kryptonite’s clutches once again.

Step up, not down to the problem. It’s time to act and move forward with precise action towards where you want to be and whom you want to be. No more giving into the paralyzing effects of what’s held you back. Break free to be the person you know lives within you, take action now, empower yourself, separate yourself through blood, sweat, and perseverance for your chosen future.

It’s time to believe in the person looking back at you in the mirror. Reality check, kryptonite isn’t real and neither are these handcuffs. We put these on ourselves as excuses to fall back on when things get tough. It’s not a matter of whether you consider them real or not. It’s the meaning and influence you allow yourself to attach to them that changes your course or halts your progress.

You have a choice to let these handcuffs dissolve before your eyes or stay chained to your fears. No matter where you are or who you are; you have the key. Decide today to unlock your true potential and leap to your destiny, it’s up to you.

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Michael Annese

Michael Annese is a battalion chief for a South Florida fire department. Originally from the Boston area, he spent years pursuing a career in the music industry before embarking on a career in the fire service. Through fierce determination and practicing the principles he has outlined in his book, The Victory Cycle: 7 Progressive Steps to Forge a Lifetime of Everlasting Personal Growth and Change, Michael has created a successful career and fulfilling life. Michael is now paying it forward by sharing his personal life-tested techniques and experience in leadership within The Victory Cycle. For more information, please visit www.michaelannese.com.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Life

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Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.