Life
5 Simple but Important Ways You Can Defeat Perfectionism
Most of us have at least one role model in our lives. Someone who inspires us to be better, follow after their footsteps and who wants us to reach heights greater than they did. Thoughts like “I want to make them proud” become synonymous to “I don’t want to disappoint them”.
But then you come up short or fail. And it breaks your heart. Not theirs, but YOURS. You punish yourself for apparently not trying “enough”. You consider your actions “unacceptable” and you feel like you’ve disappointed not only yourself, but everyone around you as well.
Setting high standards is not completely a bad thing; in fact, it is actually a good motivation technique. Refrain from taking on more tasks than you think you can handle though. Before you know it, you’re drowning in work that could’ve been finished long ago just because you don’t feel like it’s commendable enough. You constantly find yourself taking a step forward only to take two steps back.
All these, plus the refusal to accept any standard short of excellence, categorize us as a perfectionist. Instead of helping you become better, extreme perfectionism eventually ruins you. It brings nothing but unending stress, sleepless nights and a perpetual feeling of unworthiness.
Here are five ways to gradually help you prevail over perfectionism:
1. Find alternative ways to get things done
On days where you just “don’t feel like” doing what you usually do, mix up your routines. There is more than one way to accomplish something, so try to enjoy the spontaneity. Allow yourself to get help, rather than trying to accomplish everything on your own like you usually do. Letting others help you may even result in finishing the job faster, leaving more time for revisions and any fixing that has to be done.
2. Break big goals into smaller ones
First, start off by creating realistic timelines and schedules. Give yourself enough time to finish a task without having to cram. The more you cram, the more you tend to panic, and panic does not go well with perfectionism. Setting a reasonable deadline based on your abilities will not only allow you to work peacefully, but give you reassurance that it is indeed possible to reach your goal.
Not all goals and dreams are a one-shot wonder. Often times, we focus so much on the big picture or the end result that we overlook the steps it takes to get there. We have to care about what happens in between and what it takes to get there, or else we just end up distraught.
“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.” – Bruce Lee
3. Leave a little room for disappointment and mistakes
Mistakes and improvement always go hand in hand. Do not be so hard on yourself and try to forgive yourself for your shortcomings instead of wallowing in self-pity. Use your slip-ups as step-ups.
No matter how much consolation and reassurance you receive from your peers about a job well done, if you choose not to believe them, you will never be satisfied – or be able to move on. Reflect on your failures, but don’t resent yourself for it.
4. Reward yourself
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead of thinking, “I failed”, substitute it with one or two good things that DIDN’T go wrong. Rather than thinking of all the other ways something could’ve gone wrong, focus on the positive things that went well and congratulate yourself for it. That alone is a reward in itself. Buy yourself flowers if you feel like it. Treat yourself to your favorite dessert. Any success, big or small, is worth celebrating.
“Every project has challenges, and every project has its rewards.” – Stephen Schwartz
5. Realize that not everything is a pass or fail situation
Get started even if you don’t see the end result. Although we are expected to do the best we can, our abilities will only take us so far. Sometimes, amongst the black and white, the gray area is all that matters most. Take these “but let me… one last time” or “Wait! This isn’t good enough…” lines out of your vocabulary.
We have to learn how to surrender to the moments, situations, changes and flaws and allow them to happen the way they’re supposed to happen. Focus more on doing a job right than doing it perfectly. And realize that being average is okay, too.
How have you been able to manage your perfectionism? Leave your thoughts below!
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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