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10 Powerful Ways to Build Unstoppable Confidence

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10 Powerful Ways to Build Unstoppable Confidence

It’s a scary thought isn’t it?– “I don’t have what it takes to make my dreams come true” Success, fame, wealth – all your dreams might remain…well, just pipe dreams. You wish you were more confident. Like all those really successful people you have heard about.

Newsflash – these people are not fundamentally more confident than you are. They have developed it along the way. You, yes you, can do the same! Where does tis confidence come from? Confidence is a feeling, an emotion, that helps you take challenges head on, gain the respect of important people and become more productive.

But what’s the source of this confidence? True confidence that comes from taking actiondoing the right things that get you real results. It’s having the knowledge that you are on the right track. And here’s the best part…Taking these confidence boosting actions is far easier than you think.

Here are 10 powerful ways to build unstoppable confidence:

1. Find your tribe

Are you trying to win this on your own? Wouldn’t it be easier if you had friends who share your dreams, as well as your fears and frustrations? People who will support you through your ups and downs. To find your tribe, join a community of ambitious people who are on the same path as you are. If you have a start-up, go to entrepreneur meetups; if you want to be a successful blogger, join an online blogger community. You will gain access to the collective experience of dozens of smart people. You will pick up amazing hacks and avoid unnecessary mistakes. You will also realize: If other people like you can become successful, why can’t you too? Your tribe will be an enormous source of confidence that will propel you towards success. You are not alone!

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T. Mcintyre

2. Choose the right battles

Do you spend too much time trying to ‘fix’ your weaknesses? For example, you might be great at marketing, but technology is your worst nightmare. Trying to solve tech problems might make you feel helpless and you could end up procrastinating. Devoting time and energy without results will affect your overall confidence levels. Instead, why not just outsource or delegate it? Sometimes, the key to better confidence is to avoid something, rather than do something. Focus on your strengths and you will see your confidence soar!

 

3. Embrace failure

How many times did Edison fail before he succeeded in inventing the light bulb? Over a thousand! All super-successful people have experienced numerous failures. They won because they persisted. They learnt from their mistakes, changed their approach and kept trying until they got it right. Simple fact: Anytime you do something new, you are bound to make mistakes. Accept this fact, and you will transform failure into a source of determination, not disappointment.

 

4. Take tiny steps

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your goal? Does it seem too difficult? The best way to deal with a massive undertaking is to break it up into smaller goals – small projects that you know you can achieve. Jack Welch, GE’s legendary former CEO, used to stress on the importance of small daily achievements. These small wins will fire up your confidence to take on bigger goals head on!

 

5. Start right

How you start your day has tremendous influence on your mood for the rest of the day. Begin your day by tackling the most important task. Decide what you want to work on the evening before, so that you can kick off first thing in the morning. Scratching off the most important task is like scoring the first goal of the game! It pumps you up for more action!

“Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them.” – T. Harv Eker

6. Get real

Are you trying to do too muchOne of the biggest blows to your confidence happens when you continually fail to meet your own targets. Instead, set targets that you know you can accomplish. As Steve Jobs used to say, “rather than try to do everything, focus on a few things that yield the maximum results”. It’s important to push your limits, but don’t push yourself (and your confidence) off the edge!

 

7. Make a movie

Is the thought of an upcoming project, client meeting or presentation giving you the jitters? Try this hack that helped Michael Phelps win 22 Olympic medals. Close your eyes for 2 minutes and play a mental movie of the upcoming task. Anticipate the challenges and visualize yourself tackling them successfully. Michael Phelps used to do this every time before a swim. This simple visualization can fill you with a champion’s confidence.

 

8. Get physical

Your body has a powerful influence on your mood. Whenever you feel the pangs of doubt, get up and do a few pushups or spot jogging. Pumping adrenaline into your system is a sure-fire way of switching on your fighting mode. If you really want to notice a permanent improvement in confidence, start exercising for just 10-15 minutes a day. The Eastern Ontario Research Institute concluded from a study, that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competent in several areas of life – socially, academically, and athletically. No wonder billionaire Richard Branson swears by exercise.

 

9. Get a coach

Do you have someone to guide you personally? Someone who will help you set the right goals and targets, support and push you to execute those goals and correct you when you are going wrong? Eric Schmidt, former CEO of Google said that his best advice to new CEOs is to have a coach. A coach can give you the confidence that you are on the right track, help you make far fewer mistakes and seriously speed up your success. Why not try this?

 

10. Make fear your friend

Ever heard of ‘Productive Paranoia’? It’s a term bestselling author Jim Collins uses in his book, ‘Great by Choice’. It means that if you are afraid, you will take action to address the cause of fear. Bill Gates said that he used to worry about what an unknown teenager might be working on in his garage that might make existing technology obsolete. He channelled that fear into working even harder. Use your fear to take action. You will no longer feel helpless, but in control. That’s when your confidence will take a huge leap. You can take it on!

“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” – Tony Robbins

Confidence doesn’t come out of thin air. It’s earned by the things that we do, by the small actions that we take every single day. You can build unstoppable confidence. You do have what it takes to make your dreams come true.

Which of the above actions will you take today to supercharge your confidence?

Peter Banerjea is co-founder of SuccessIsWhat, a success coaching firm that helps people achieve their goals faster, by becoming productivity ninjas and building life changing habits. Get his latest free e-book "Productivity Secrets of 7 Billionaires You can put into Action Right Now" here.

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16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. sachin

    Mar 9, 2016 at 4:27 am

    hey peter u helped me a lot to set my goal and get out of the well of fear

  2. dungeon hunter 5 hack 2015

    Dec 19, 2015 at 9:18 am

    I enjoy reading posts that can make people think.

    Furthermore, thank you for letting me comment!

  3. Mel Wicks

    Dec 12, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Hi Peter, I think you were referring to me in your second point! You are so right. I spend way too long struggling over the technical hurdles when I could be outsourcing them and getting on with what I’m much better at. Mel (a fellow SBO member)

  4. Joanna Jast

    Dec 8, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Excellent article, Peter.

    Making fear your friend is really an awesome strategy. If you approach it right, you can fight fear (of putting yourself out there/fear of failure) with fear (of not achieving your dreams)!

    thanks for sharing

  5. James Hughes

    Nov 26, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Great post. Confidence boosted!

    Thanks for sharing this.

    James Hughes

  6. Evan

    Nov 25, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Peter, excellent article!

    Make a movie is an extremely good idea, and I don’t always utilize that one. Thanks for reminding me how important it is.

    I believe my unshakable confidence has been one of the biggest factors in helping me achieve what I want. These are nice practical tips to keep anyone who is serious about their work focused.

    Thanks a million!

    – Evan

    • Peter Banerjea

      Nov 26, 2015 at 8:18 am

      Hey Evan,
      The visualization technique can work really well, if done right. Just make sure you anticipate the challenges during your visualization.
      Thanks! Peter

  7. Rose Costas

    Nov 25, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Thanks Peter for the reminder. They all seem so simple but most times it’s the simple things that causes us to lose our way.

    • Peter Banerjea

      Nov 26, 2015 at 8:21 am

      Thanks Rose! Good luck applying these techniques.

  8. Rohit

    Nov 23, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Hi Peter,

    Great article. Loved the read.

    Thanks

    Rohit

  9. Addicted 2 The Grind

    Nov 23, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Great Post , Confidence is something most need to be successful. you have to have thick skin , great work ethic and confidence in yourself and whatever you’re doing.

    • Peter Banerjea

      Nov 24, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Yes – confidence gives us the strength to succeed in really challenging situation. Thank you for dropping by!

  10. Peter Banerjea

    Nov 22, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Hey Debbie,
    Each of us have our strengths and weaknesses. We will reach our goals a lot more quickly if we focus on what we do best, rather than feel bad about what we can’t do.
    Thanks for commenting!
    Peter

  11. Debbie

    Nov 22, 2015 at 2:39 am

    Hi Peter. Number 2 is so practical. I spend a lot of time doing things that are better off delegated. I will definitely apply this. Deb

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Life

Social Media Is Killing Your Success: 3 Ways You Can Use it to Your Advantage

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Social media success

I love social media. It can help you make friends, share your life, build a network, and even build a business. In the same token, social media can easily become an enemy of success as a hindrance and consumer of attention.

On countless occasions I’ve found myself lost on YouTube, scrolling Facebook, clicking on tweets, watching funny snaps…and realized it’s hurting my success. As someone who is ambitious, you don’t want social media to kill your time, rob you of precious hours, and steal your success.

If you want social media to work for you, here are three ways to assure that you’re the one in control:

1. Limit your time on social media channels

If you want social media to work for you, and not against you, limiting your time on it will help you immensely. One great tool that helps me limit my time on social media is a simple Chrome extension: StayFocused. It’s a free, no hassle chrome extension that allows you to limit your time on different websites.

Just simply plug in the URL of the website you want to limit your time on and the tool will do the rest. This handy little tool will help you see how fast time on social media goes by and will ensure you prioritize your tasks.

If you are going to follow any of these tips, follow this one. Limiting your time on social media alone could save you hundreds of hours of your precious time. Those hours can then be used to get things done, set goals, and go after them.

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” – Bruce Lee

2. Have clear goals on social media

When you log in, know what matters most and what doesn’t. If you have clear intentions before logging in, assure yourself that social media isn’t the one in control.

All social media channels were built to help kill time, keep you engaged, and make you addicted to their platforms. In fact, one of the leading experts on ‘Brain Hacking,’ Tristan Harris, left his job at Google because of the manipulative strategies internet giants use to keep users hooked.

During his interview on 60 Minutes, Tristan talks about the ways social media rigs its platforms to keep users addicted. It’s astonishing to realize that social media is an endless arsenal of tools to keep us absorbed.

When asked about how people could curb their addiction, Tristan admitted that the cards are stacked against the user’s. Billions of dollars are being invested in making you stay hooked in. This is why social media experts like myself advise users to have clear goals.  When you have a timer and a goal before you log in, it assures you are playing the game in a way that favors you.

Some clear goals which will help you on social media are limiting who you follow, having a clear plan of what you’ll be doing before you log in, and having well laid out intentions of what social media does for you. When you limit who you follow, you assure you only read and watch content that feeds, inspires, and helps you.

It’s all too easy to follow an endless amount of silly channels and people. If you know what you’ll post before you log in, you’ll set yourself to use social media in your favor. This simple plan of action will help keep your mind focused and on task.

3. Have a mastermind online

Social media can either support you or hurt you. It’s either a tool to help you move forward or a hindrance setting you back. For most people, it’s hurtful. In my case, it’s a tool that helps me immensely. Inside social media, I’ve made friends with authors, speakers, world renowned coaches, and multi-millionaires who constantly inspire me.

One way to assure social media helps you is a mastermind. If done properly, social media can be an explosive growth tool. By having a mastermind online, you assure that social media works for you.

A great way to have a mastermind online is through Facebook. There are hundreds of thousands of Facebook groups that can help you stay focused and well supported. Each group is a virtual meetup. Some of these groups include some of the greatest minds in their areas. Some groups are public, and you can join just by requesting to join.

One way to assure a group is solid is by checking to see how many people are in the group. Who’s in the group? How often are members active? Is the group focused? When you find a group that has the right mix of people, activity, and attention, it can change your life. It turns Facebook into a tool. You log in, go check in with the group, ask questions, and keep yourself reminded of your goals.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

By following these three simple pieces of advice, you can make sure that social media ‘Brain Hackers’ are not hacking you, but instead, you are leveraging the tool in a way that supports your success.

What is your favorite part about social media? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

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Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Recently, another new iPhone model was announced. Working in tech, people asked me when I’d be buying it. I told them probably not anytime soon, if at all.

“A piece of metal is never going to define my level of success and it shouldn’t define your success either”

Before you buy anything, think about why you’re making the purchase. We often make dumb decisions about buying stuff because we don’t think it through properly.

 

It’s a piece of metal

Before you have a giant orgasm over the new iPhone, remember that it’s just a chunk of metal. You’ve been using a chunk of metal as a phone for over a decade now. It’s not going to get your rocks off any more than the last phone you bought.

The new iPhone is not going to make love to you although it might remember your name and say it in some sexy, fake voice, so you feel like it’s your friend.

The iPhone is not your friend; it’s your enemy. A chunk of metal doesn’t define your success.

 

It doesn’t make your life better

If this chunk of metal – called an iPhone – really made our lives better then why are we more depressed than ever? A new phone is going to make you happy for about 3.1 seconds and then like a goldfish, you’ll have forgotten how privileged you are even to own one, as well as afford one, shortly after that.

Only you can make your life better by making better decisions. Choosing not to let material possessions own your life and your time is one way to make your life better. Say no to a new chunk of metal because it’s not making your life better.

 

Has anything really changed?

Between each of the iPhone models, it’s basically the same phone. Each time they change the screen size to indulge our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) minds, but that’s about it. Think about it carefully.

 

That money, compounded, is more valuable

Read any of Warren Buffet’s or Tony Robbins books and you’ll see that the $1000 you shell out for a new iPhone is far better put towards investing. Invest in an index fund, invest in yourself, or use that $1000 to book a holiday so that you have something to look forward to and motivate you for the next six months.

The longer your money stays invested in one of the above, the more it compounds your results. Whether that is financially, personally or from a health point of you. Compounding wins every time.

“You don’t need a new chunk of metal; you need to invest instead”

 

Never follow the trends – create your own trend

Trends often fade away and a new iPhone is no different. Create your own trend. If everyone else is buying a new iPhone, then do the opposite. Don’t let marketers and technology companies tell you how to live your life. Live your life how you want to.

 

Are we more productive?

No freaking way. We’re more unproductive than ever and we consider way too many things because our ugly chunk of metal gives us unlimited opportunities to say yes to. Right now, your phone will allow you to book a tantric sex class that begins at 6 am somewhere near you if you really want.

You can literally learn anything at any time if you really want. My question to you is, does it really matter?

Even though you have unlimited options to be productive, you still procrastinate more than ever and so do I. We could be hyper-productive but we’re not and that’s okay. No chunk of metal is going to run your life for you and make you successful.

 

We don’t need even more distractions

My life already sucks because I get 101 notifications from WeChat, WhatsApp, Messenger and my three email addresses. It’s a full-time job managing all of this and I don’t buy into it. I don’t need to be always contactable – I need a life.

I’m not a robot and I’m not answerable to anyone. Think about this: Are you a free human soul or do you need to be told what to do by your phone?

I’m seeing more human disconnection than ever. At work, it’s easier to call people that are sitting next to me than it is to have a face-to-face conversation. Face-to-face conversations have become a battle between the other person looking down at their phone and occasionally glancing up to look you in the eye.

“All of us are sexier than an ugly piece of metal and we deserved to be looked at!”

 

Will I also be adding a new Apple Watch to my setup as well?

Not in a million years amigo. A watch is strapped to me and tells me everything via a tiny little screen. Can you imagine being in an intimate moment with your significant other and the watch is flashing and beeping at you? It’s enough to ruin anyone’s romance time.

The Apple Watch reminds me of a bracelet that future prisoners will wear to track their movements. I don’t intend on wearing an Apple Watch so I can be a prisoner in my own life. Life is hard enough already without having to be chained to technology.

 

Lastly, I’m enjoying aeroplane mode a lot these days

I could buy a new iPhone but I just love aeroplane mode way too much these days. Having the world of social media switched off and not being “ONLINE” all the time has given me space to think. In these brief moments of thinking I’ve been able to:

– Write inspiring blog posts that have gone viral
– Fall in love again
– Work on my health
– Read books and gain new skills
– Socialise with friends
– Mentor young entrepreneurs in a startup accelerator

Through these list of activities, I’ve been able to create more success than I could ever have imagined on my useless chunk of metal called an iPhone.

So honestly guys and girls, when people ask me if I’m buying a new iPhone, all I can say is “No I’m not buying a new iPhone because my life is more important. The human race and changing the world is more important.”

I need time to change the world and space to think; the new iPhone can’t do this for me and it never will.

No chunk of metal should ever define you and your success.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

My Incredibly Simple Guide To Stoicism – Learn Practical Wisdom You Can Use

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I’ve been inspired to learn about Stoicism for a while.

The problem I’ve had is that it’s one of those topics that people love to complicate. The reason for the complication is that many of the teachings that come from Stoicism are spoken in English from a long time ago. I personally don’t have the patience to read this type of writing for long periods.

That’s why I’m going to debunk Stoicism for you in stupidly simple terms. The wisdom you get will transform you. You’ll gain a different perspective that will help you in all aspects of life.

“Everyone is preaching advice, but no one is sharing wisdom – that’s what Stoicism is”

 

What is Stoicism?

It’s an ancient form of philosophy. It was made famous in recent years again by Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday from the USA. These two gentleman credit a lot of their success to the wisdom that Stoicism taught them.

Stoicism began on a stoa which means porch to you and I. A stoa is where the early teachings of Stoicism started.

Here is Stoicism broken down into insanely simple dot points:

– Stoicism is focused on uncomplicated theories of life
– Stoicism is so clear that you can take action from the advice immediately
– Study is not required to understand Stoicism
– The most read Stoic is Lucius Seneca. Marcus Aurelius is also very popular

Stoicism doesn’t focus on the negative like modern-day self-help advice does. Stoicism is more a meditative practice that allows us to take the negative feelings we experience, and turn them into thoughts that give us peacefulness and perspective on life.

The most important part of learning Stoicism is having the right state of mind. Just like in life, the right state of mind can help us look at challenges in the best possible way.

At the crux of Stoicism is a list of reminders and words of wisdom that show how to live a good life. It’s not an argument about what is right and what is wrong. The Stoics had no time for this way of thinking.

Okay so now let’s skip ahead to the best lessons you can learn from Stoicism:

 

We don’t control events, but we do control what they mean.

This is a famous teaching from a lot of Tony Robbins work too. Everything that happens in your life can be controlled by your own mind to be good or bad. Once you understand this teaching, you can take back the power. You become less reactive and a lot calmer. You have the upper hand.

 

Disruptions to serenity cannot be avoided.

Tranquillity can never be reached by avoiding or blocking out distractions or horrible events. The way to get to that tranquil place is through your choices and judgment about those events and situations.

 

You must disrupt yourself.

Doing things the way they’ve always been done will lead you to be disrupted by someone or something who changes with the environment. Operating out of habit means you’ve stopped thinking and are mindlessly drifting through life. This means you’re not in control.

“When you lose control, your environment determines your results”

There’s a good chance that you’re going to think these results suck. The lesson here is break your habits, get out of your comfort zone and disrupt yourself like a cool, hip startup from Silicon Valley.

 

In good and bad times we have a choice.

Whether you’re in jail or an entrepreneur running the most successful startup on the planet, you have a choice. We all come from different backgrounds and we’ll all go through major highs, and painstaking lows. Through all of these different circumstances, we have a choice.

It’s having the freedom of choice that will set us free in the long run. It’s that freedom of choice that will ensure you don’t waste your life away thinking about stuff you can’t control. You’ll always feel the power of freedom when you control your choices, no matter what life throws at you.

 

Make it a habit of looking inward.

Stoics are obsessed with taking time to look inward. It’s something they advocate above all of their other teachings. They suggest spending time in the morning to ask yourself questions about your life. As you do this, you’ll find the answers to life’s biggest questions become clearer in the context of your own life.

Looking inward helps you find the answers that you knew all along and thought were hidden inside of someone else, or something else. This practice will only work if you’re honest with yourself. Don’t be too brutal on yourself either. Realize that we all start somewhere and it’s where we can go that is the greatest gift we can enjoy.

 

Being paranoid and fearful will destroy you.

The antidote to fear and paranoia is self-control. Learn to control your impulses. If you become fearful that others will sabotage your success and you don’t remain in control over these fearful thoughts, you’ll lose sight of reality. These fearful thoughts will cause you to project your fears onto other people and they’ll give you exactly what you fear.

In simple terms, fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you put out comes right back at you.

 

Anger will not help you.

The Stoics believe that getting angry never gives you anything in return. Anger wastes your precious energy and resources, and provides no tangible benefit. This is why it’s better to practice non-reactivity rather than being pissed off at something you can’t control anyway.

Anger is like a contagious virus that spreads if you let it. Don’t let anger control you. Projecting anger on people can only result in you projecting anger on yourself. That’s why anger is also another self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Everything takes up space.

Seneca wrote many times that even things you get for free have a cost. That cost is space – space in your garage or even space in your mind.

“Learning to live with less will create space in your life for the things that truly matter to you”

The aim of the game is to look at your material possession and be honest with yourself: do you really need that object? If the answer is no, free some space up in your life. What Seneca says here is the reason I have personally given away and sold most of my possessions. I’ve never been happier.

 

Practice poverty.

Especially during prosperous times in your life, the Stoics believe you should practice poverty. This is how you prepare for hardship and become an expert in dealing with the ups and downs of life. Comfort can become a form of slavery because you consistently start to think that someone could take away what you have.

When you’re familiar with what you fear, it no longer controls you. The worst can happen and you go through it with a sense of calmness and ease. People think you’re resilient but actually, you’ve just practiced the hard times as preparation.

Quick tip: try eating a really cheap meal for a whole week every two months. Eat like you have almost no money. This will teach you to not only appreciate the nice meals but to be okay if you ever face poverty and have to live on very little money for a while. I know a few people that do a beans and rice meal for this week of living it rough. Try it!

 

You protect everything you have, why not your mind?

You don’t give away your wallet to a stranger on the street. You don’t hand the keys to your car over to a budding thief. You wouldn’t let your house be demolished by the council without a fight. So why would you hand over the keys to your mind so easily to any stranger who wants them?

You have to become aware of who you are unconsciously giving your mind over to. You need to realize who is influencing you in a negative way without knowing it.

“Your mind can create all the abundance you could ever imagine, so you need to protect it like it’s the only possession you have”

 

Don’t wreck the purpose of your life by trying to impress others.

The Stoics teach that the opinions of people you seek our to impress are not that great themselves. These people you seek to impress have addictions, their own problems, and are no wiser than the next person. The purpose of your life is not to impress people and doing so will have the opposite effect.

Focus on impressing yourself through personal growth and wisdom from people who serve the greater good. Go beyond yourself and avoid the need to seek approval. Take action and seek forgiveness later if you must.

 

Without proper training, you’re a fool.

If you seek to master a skill, then without proper training you will (by default) rely on ignorance, and you’ll act in a way that lacks discipline and requires chance.

“An investor without discipline is not an investor – he’s a gambler” – Ryan Holiday

 

Your mind becomes what you think consistently.

Whether you think mostly negative thoughts or positive thoughts will determine your default response to any situation. The more we practice negative thinking, the more likely we are to see the world as negative.

If we choose to practice nothing, then we also get the same outcome of an influx of negative thoughts. The only wise choice then is to practice seeing the good in everything. Start with being grateful

 

You don’t know everything.

This is a thought that many people secretly have when they claim they want to learn something new. The harsh reality is that many of us walk around as though we know everything. We know nothing of the infinite knowledge there is to acquire.

That sort of humbleness is where all the best learning starts from. Thinking less of yourself is the ultimate power: it’s where you can grow from and serve others. It’s this way of thinking that births leaders.

 

Think of your problems in relation to the sky.

Marcus Aurelius says that the stars wash away the dust of earthly life. This Stoic concept is a way for you to clear your mind of all the troubles you encounter day-to-day. In comparison, your problems are so small compared to the immense size of the universe.

Your problems don’t matter in the grand scheme of things so don’t fool yourself into believing they do. Look at the stars once in a while. Remember how lucky we are even to experience this planet we call Earth.

 

Forget stereotypes and labels: concentrate on character.

Stoics believe your character should be your most prominent feature. Outward traits such as skin color and clothing should be insignificant. Your character is defined by the work you do on yourself each day and the person you become.

Your character is what sells you as a person better than any other external force. Your character is your legacy. Your character is what you want to be known for.

 

Don’t sit on the sidelines. Do something inspirational yourself.

You can sit here all day and listen to me inspire you. You can watch all the inspirational videos that Youtube has to offer. What would be far better is to go out there and inspire people yourself rather than being inspired.

Take the inspiration you’ve gathered in your life and do something with it so you can allow others to create their own inspirational journey. Be the example rather than only listening to the example and saying “One day I’ll do that.”

 

There is never an end to the personal development journey.

You never reach mastery. The student never stops being a student. Even the teacher is still a student at heart. Stoicism is something you apply consistently, and it never ends. You apply it until the day you die and that’s how you gain the infinite wisdom it offers.

“You’ll never drink all the water in the ocean, just like you’ll never learn everything there is to know about Stoic philosophy and that’s fine too”

 

Work is good for you.

Ever heard that when people retire, they are statistically more likely to die within a few years of achieving this milestone in their life? That’s because work gives us a sense of purpose. Work gives us a reason to get up in the morning. Making progress through doing meaningful work feels good.

Too much idle time and the delusion that you can get rich and sit on a beach is what can cause you to feel empty inside. This feeling can cause you to have self-destructive thoughts that lead to an immense focus on one’s selfish desires and need for significance. In other words, work is good.

 

Don’t make life harder than it is. It’s your choice.

Choices are what stoics believe are the way to take a shortcut in life. They believe we can choose whatever we want including happiness, freedom, respect and feelings of being wealthy. The reoccurring theme here again is that we are in control of everything that happens and how we feel.

 

How you handle disaster is everything.

The way you deal with problematic situations is a true test of your character. Character in stoicism is not formed when everything is going right; character is formed when everything is going wrong. Don’t let problems spoil your mindset. Let optimism guide you in all situations.

 

Seek out obstacles.

Obstacles are a way for you to take a challenge that you may not like and use it as a lesson that can help you for the rest of your life. You learn from hardships above all else. Lessons from hardships make you smarter, stronger and better prepared for when adversity strikes again.

 

You have one job and only one job.

The Stoics have a core belief that all of us have only one job on Planet Earth: to be a good human being. If you learned nothing else about stoicism from this blog post, then I’ve succeeded.

Practice being a good human being and you’ll have one hell of a life.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Why Choosing the Right Romantic Partner Is Crucial to Your Success

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business couple

There are lots of things which can affect your success at work. Your drive and ambition, how well you work with the rest of your team, how you are perceived by your boss, and of course, how good you are at your job. Nevertheless, did you ever think your partner’s personality could be a contributing factor, too?

Most people don’t think about their partner’s personality in terms of affecting their career success, but in fact, here are 5 reasons why your success at work lies in your partner’s personality:

1. You’re Independent – But You’re Not An Island

Some people are naturally resistant to the idea that their partner’s personality has an impact on their career success. It’s understandable. After all, aren’t we all sovereign beings who have sole responsibility for our lives and success?

But, think about it this way – are you more likely to perform well at work if you’re struggling with a lot of drama at home, or if your home life is running smoothly?

Imagine trying to get through an important meeting with your energy and focus intact, after a rough night fighting with your partner. When you think of it that way, it’s clear that your home life can and does impact your work life.

2. It Goes Beyond Whether You Fight Or Not

It’s obvious that having drama at home bleeds over into the workplace and impacts your performance. However, the effect of your partner’s personality on your career success goes beyond whether your relationship is drama-free or not.

Recent research from Washington University in St Louis shows that your partner’s personality has an effect on your working success. The study showed that the impact goes far beyond whether your partner is supportive during the big moments such as going for a promotion or a pay raise. In fact, your partner’s everyday behavior and attitude have a noticeable effect on your work life.

“It’s getting the right person that’s the challenge.” – Bob Schieffer

3. Why A Conscientious Partner Contributes To Work Success

Specifically, the study showed people who have a conscientious partner do better at work. If you have a conscientious partner, you know that you can trust them to do what they say they will do and have a strong sense of responsibility towards household tasks and chores.

People who have a conscientious partner feel more comfortable “outsourcing” to them. That means that if they’re busy at work, or caught up in a big project, they can put more attention and focus on it, because they know things at home will be taken care of in their absence. This increased focus makes it easier for them to succeed at work.

4. What If Your Partner Isn’t Conscientious?

Some of you might be reading this thinking “that’s great, but my partner isn’t that conscientious!” In that case, don’t despair. It’s time for some honest and open communication with your partner.

Sit down with your partner and talk honestly about how much their support means to you. Don’t accuse – that won’t help – but simply be honest about how their support at home contributes to your work life. Take the time to reassure them you want to offer them similar support when they need it.

5. It’s Time To Be Each Other’s Best Teammate

Whether it’s you who’s employed or your partner or the both of you, it’s time for you to be each other’s best teammate. Sit down with your partner and have an honest discussion about division of labor at home. Figure out who is responsible for which chores and household tasks, and talk about what happens when one of you is busy at work.

Being a good team goes beyond collaborating when it comes to housework and childcare, and into recognizing the way you impact each other’s work life and success. After all, success for one of you at work equals success for your household as a whole in terms of better cashflow and more stability.

“When I find the right person, nothing else will matter, but I’m prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.” – Sam Smith

Make time to talk with your partner about what is going on at their workplace, and share what is happening in your own career. Be aware of the times when your partner needs extra support because work is busy, and share honestly with them when you need some extra support.

Your home life has a direct impact on your working success. Stay aware of the effects so you can keep open communication with your partner and work towards greater success for both of you.

What does your partner do that makes you feel like they support you? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Social Media Is Killing Your Success: 3 Ways You Can Use it to Your Advantage

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Social media success

I love social media. It can help you make friends, share your life, build a network, and even build a business. In the same token, social media can easily become an enemy of success as a hindrance and consumer of attention. (more…)

I used to be homeless and now run a six figure business with my partner and travel the world. My journey to help those in need has taken me from non-profit director to supporting holistic entrepreneurs have a life of freedom. I run the Thriving Launch Podcast, which features the most influential leaders in the areas of love, spirituality, business, and success. It's my mission to help heart-centered entrepreneurs get their message heard. Learn more on at my website ThrivingLaunch.com (http://www.thrivinglaunch.com/)

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16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. sachin

    Mar 9, 2016 at 4:27 am

    hey peter u helped me a lot to set my goal and get out of the well of fear

  2. dungeon hunter 5 hack 2015

    Dec 19, 2015 at 9:18 am

    I enjoy reading posts that can make people think.

    Furthermore, thank you for letting me comment!

  3. Mel Wicks

    Dec 12, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Hi Peter, I think you were referring to me in your second point! You are so right. I spend way too long struggling over the technical hurdles when I could be outsourcing them and getting on with what I’m much better at. Mel (a fellow SBO member)

  4. Joanna Jast

    Dec 8, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Excellent article, Peter.

    Making fear your friend is really an awesome strategy. If you approach it right, you can fight fear (of putting yourself out there/fear of failure) with fear (of not achieving your dreams)!

    thanks for sharing

  5. James Hughes

    Nov 26, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Great post. Confidence boosted!

    Thanks for sharing this.

    James Hughes

  6. Evan

    Nov 25, 2015 at 10:45 am

    Peter, excellent article!

    Make a movie is an extremely good idea, and I don’t always utilize that one. Thanks for reminding me how important it is.

    I believe my unshakable confidence has been one of the biggest factors in helping me achieve what I want. These are nice practical tips to keep anyone who is serious about their work focused.

    Thanks a million!

    – Evan

    • Peter Banerjea

      Nov 26, 2015 at 8:18 am

      Hey Evan,
      The visualization technique can work really well, if done right. Just make sure you anticipate the challenges during your visualization.
      Thanks! Peter

  7. Rose Costas

    Nov 25, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Thanks Peter for the reminder. They all seem so simple but most times it’s the simple things that causes us to lose our way.

    • Peter Banerjea

      Nov 26, 2015 at 8:21 am

      Thanks Rose! Good luck applying these techniques.

  8. Rohit

    Nov 23, 2015 at 4:29 pm

    Hi Peter,

    Great article. Loved the read.

    Thanks

    Rohit

  9. Addicted 2 The Grind

    Nov 23, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Great Post , Confidence is something most need to be successful. you have to have thick skin , great work ethic and confidence in yourself and whatever you’re doing.

    • Peter Banerjea

      Nov 24, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Yes – confidence gives us the strength to succeed in really challenging situation. Thank you for dropping by!

  10. Peter Banerjea

    Nov 22, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Hey Debbie,
    Each of us have our strengths and weaknesses. We will reach our goals a lot more quickly if we focus on what we do best, rather than feel bad about what we can’t do.
    Thanks for commenting!
    Peter

  11. Debbie

    Nov 22, 2015 at 2:39 am

    Hi Peter. Number 2 is so practical. I spend a lot of time doing things that are better off delegated. I will definitely apply this. Deb

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Life

Social Media Is Killing Your Success: 3 Ways You Can Use it to Your Advantage

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Social media success

I love social media. It can help you make friends, share your life, build a network, and even build a business. In the same token, social media can easily become an enemy of success as a hindrance and consumer of attention.

On countless occasions I’ve found myself lost on YouTube, scrolling Facebook, clicking on tweets, watching funny snaps…and realized it’s hurting my success. As someone who is ambitious, you don’t want social media to kill your time, rob you of precious hours, and steal your success.

If you want social media to work for you, here are three ways to assure that you’re the one in control:

1. Limit your time on social media channels

If you want social media to work for you, and not against you, limiting your time on it will help you immensely. One great tool that helps me limit my time on social media is a simple Chrome extension: StayFocused. It’s a free, no hassle chrome extension that allows you to limit your time on different websites.

Just simply plug in the URL of the website you want to limit your time on and the tool will do the rest. This handy little tool will help you see how fast time on social media goes by and will ensure you prioritize your tasks.

If you are going to follow any of these tips, follow this one. Limiting your time on social media alone could save you hundreds of hours of your precious time. Those hours can then be used to get things done, set goals, and go after them.

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” – Bruce Lee

2. Have clear goals on social media

When you log in, know what matters most and what doesn’t. If you have clear intentions before logging in, assure yourself that social media isn’t the one in control.

All social media channels were built to help kill time, keep you engaged, and make you addicted to their platforms. In fact, one of the leading experts on ‘Brain Hacking,’ Tristan Harris, left his job at Google because of the manipulative strategies internet giants use to keep users hooked.

During his interview on 60 Minutes, Tristan talks about the ways social media rigs its platforms to keep users addicted. It’s astonishing to realize that social media is an endless arsenal of tools to keep us absorbed.

When asked about how people could curb their addiction, Tristan admitted that the cards are stacked against the user’s. Billions of dollars are being invested in making you stay hooked in. This is why social media experts like myself advise users to have clear goals.  When you have a timer and a goal before you log in, it assures you are playing the game in a way that favors you.

Some clear goals which will help you on social media are limiting who you follow, having a clear plan of what you’ll be doing before you log in, and having well laid out intentions of what social media does for you. When you limit who you follow, you assure you only read and watch content that feeds, inspires, and helps you.

It’s all too easy to follow an endless amount of silly channels and people. If you know what you’ll post before you log in, you’ll set yourself to use social media in your favor. This simple plan of action will help keep your mind focused and on task.

3. Have a mastermind online

Social media can either support you or hurt you. It’s either a tool to help you move forward or a hindrance setting you back. For most people, it’s hurtful. In my case, it’s a tool that helps me immensely. Inside social media, I’ve made friends with authors, speakers, world renowned coaches, and multi-millionaires who constantly inspire me.

One way to assure social media helps you is a mastermind. If done properly, social media can be an explosive growth tool. By having a mastermind online, you assure that social media works for you.

A great way to have a mastermind online is through Facebook. There are hundreds of thousands of Facebook groups that can help you stay focused and well supported. Each group is a virtual meetup. Some of these groups include some of the greatest minds in their areas. Some groups are public, and you can join just by requesting to join.

One way to assure a group is solid is by checking to see how many people are in the group. Who’s in the group? How often are members active? Is the group focused? When you find a group that has the right mix of people, activity, and attention, it can change your life. It turns Facebook into a tool. You log in, go check in with the group, ask questions, and keep yourself reminded of your goals.

“Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” – Pete Carroll

By following these three simple pieces of advice, you can make sure that social media ‘Brain Hackers’ are not hacking you, but instead, you are leveraging the tool in a way that supports your success.

What is your favorite part about social media? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

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Success Has Nothing To Do With Your iPhone Model Number.

Recently, another new iPhone model was announced. Working in tech, people asked me when I’d be buying it. I told them probably not anytime soon, if at all.

“A piece of metal is never going to define my level of success and it shouldn’t define your success either”

Before you buy anything, think about why you’re making the purchase. We often make dumb decisions about buying stuff because we don’t think it through properly.

 

It’s a piece of metal

Before you have a giant orgasm over the new iPhone, remember that it’s just a chunk of metal. You’ve been using a chunk of metal as a phone for over a decade now. It’s not going to get your rocks off any more than the last phone you bought.

The new iPhone is not going to make love to you although it might remember your name and say it in some sexy, fake voice, so you feel like it’s your friend.

The iPhone is not your friend; it’s your enemy. A chunk of metal doesn’t define your success.

 

It doesn’t make your life better

If this chunk of metal – called an iPhone – really made our lives better then why are we more depressed than ever? A new phone is going to make you happy for about 3.1 seconds and then like a goldfish, you’ll have forgotten how privileged you are even to own one, as well as afford one, shortly after that.

Only you can make your life better by making better decisions. Choosing not to let material possessions own your life and your time is one way to make your life better. Say no to a new chunk of metal because it’s not making your life better.

 

Has anything really changed?

Between each of the iPhone models, it’s basically the same phone. Each time they change the screen size to indulge our ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) minds, but that’s about it. Think about it carefully.

 

That money, compounded, is more valuable

Read any of Warren Buffet’s or Tony Robbins books and you’ll see that the $1000 you shell out for a new iPhone is far better put towards investing. Invest in an index fund, invest in yourself, or use that $1000 to book a holiday so that you have something to look forward to and motivate you for the next six months.

The longer your money stays invested in one of the above, the more it compounds your results. Whether that is financially, personally or from a health point of you. Compounding wins every time.

“You don’t need a new chunk of metal; you need to invest instead”

 

Never follow the trends – create your own trend

Trends often fade away and a new iPhone is no different. Create your own trend. If everyone else is buying a new iPhone, then do the opposite. Don’t let marketers and technology companies tell you how to live your life. Live your life how you want to.

 

Are we more productive?

No freaking way. We’re more unproductive than ever and we consider way too many things because our ugly chunk of metal gives us unlimited opportunities to say yes to. Right now, your phone will allow you to book a tantric sex class that begins at 6 am somewhere near you if you really want.

You can literally learn anything at any time if you really want. My question to you is, does it really matter?

Even though you have unlimited options to be productive, you still procrastinate more than ever and so do I. We could be hyper-productive but we’re not and that’s okay. No chunk of metal is going to run your life for you and make you successful.

 

We don’t need even more distractions

My life already sucks because I get 101 notifications from WeChat, WhatsApp, Messenger and my three email addresses. It’s a full-time job managing all of this and I don’t buy into it. I don’t need to be always contactable – I need a life.

I’m not a robot and I’m not answerable to anyone. Think about this: Are you a free human soul or do you need to be told what to do by your phone?

I’m seeing more human disconnection than ever. At work, it’s easier to call people that are sitting next to me than it is to have a face-to-face conversation. Face-to-face conversations have become a battle between the other person looking down at their phone and occasionally glancing up to look you in the eye.

“All of us are sexier than an ugly piece of metal and we deserved to be looked at!”

 

Will I also be adding a new Apple Watch to my setup as well?

Not in a million years amigo. A watch is strapped to me and tells me everything via a tiny little screen. Can you imagine being in an intimate moment with your significant other and the watch is flashing and beeping at you? It’s enough to ruin anyone’s romance time.

The Apple Watch reminds me of a bracelet that future prisoners will wear to track their movements. I don’t intend on wearing an Apple Watch so I can be a prisoner in my own life. Life is hard enough already without having to be chained to technology.

 

Lastly, I’m enjoying aeroplane mode a lot these days

I could buy a new iPhone but I just love aeroplane mode way too much these days. Having the world of social media switched off and not being “ONLINE” all the time has given me space to think. In these brief moments of thinking I’ve been able to:

– Write inspiring blog posts that have gone viral
– Fall in love again
– Work on my health
– Read books and gain new skills
– Socialise with friends
– Mentor young entrepreneurs in a startup accelerator

Through these list of activities, I’ve been able to create more success than I could ever have imagined on my useless chunk of metal called an iPhone.

So honestly guys and girls, when people ask me if I’m buying a new iPhone, all I can say is “No I’m not buying a new iPhone because my life is more important. The human race and changing the world is more important.”

I need time to change the world and space to think; the new iPhone can’t do this for me and it never will.

No chunk of metal should ever define you and your success.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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My Incredibly Simple Guide To Stoicism – Learn Practical Wisdom You Can Use

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I’ve been inspired to learn about Stoicism for a while.

The problem I’ve had is that it’s one of those topics that people love to complicate. The reason for the complication is that many of the teachings that come from Stoicism are spoken in English from a long time ago. I personally don’t have the patience to read this type of writing for long periods.

That’s why I’m going to debunk Stoicism for you in stupidly simple terms. The wisdom you get will transform you. You’ll gain a different perspective that will help you in all aspects of life.

“Everyone is preaching advice, but no one is sharing wisdom – that’s what Stoicism is”

 

What is Stoicism?

It’s an ancient form of philosophy. It was made famous in recent years again by Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday from the USA. These two gentleman credit a lot of their success to the wisdom that Stoicism taught them.

Stoicism began on a stoa which means porch to you and I. A stoa is where the early teachings of Stoicism started.

Here is Stoicism broken down into insanely simple dot points:

– Stoicism is focused on uncomplicated theories of life
– Stoicism is so clear that you can take action from the advice immediately
– Study is not required to understand Stoicism
– The most read Stoic is Lucius Seneca. Marcus Aurelius is also very popular

Stoicism doesn’t focus on the negative like modern-day self-help advice does. Stoicism is more a meditative practice that allows us to take the negative feelings we experience, and turn them into thoughts that give us peacefulness and perspective on life.

The most important part of learning Stoicism is having the right state of mind. Just like in life, the right state of mind can help us look at challenges in the best possible way.

At the crux of Stoicism is a list of reminders and words of wisdom that show how to live a good life. It’s not an argument about what is right and what is wrong. The Stoics had no time for this way of thinking.

Okay so now let’s skip ahead to the best lessons you can learn from Stoicism:

 

We don’t control events, but we do control what they mean.

This is a famous teaching from a lot of Tony Robbins work too. Everything that happens in your life can be controlled by your own mind to be good or bad. Once you understand this teaching, you can take back the power. You become less reactive and a lot calmer. You have the upper hand.

 

Disruptions to serenity cannot be avoided.

Tranquillity can never be reached by avoiding or blocking out distractions or horrible events. The way to get to that tranquil place is through your choices and judgment about those events and situations.

 

You must disrupt yourself.

Doing things the way they’ve always been done will lead you to be disrupted by someone or something who changes with the environment. Operating out of habit means you’ve stopped thinking and are mindlessly drifting through life. This means you’re not in control.

“When you lose control, your environment determines your results”

There’s a good chance that you’re going to think these results suck. The lesson here is break your habits, get out of your comfort zone and disrupt yourself like a cool, hip startup from Silicon Valley.

 

In good and bad times we have a choice.

Whether you’re in jail or an entrepreneur running the most successful startup on the planet, you have a choice. We all come from different backgrounds and we’ll all go through major highs, and painstaking lows. Through all of these different circumstances, we have a choice.

It’s having the freedom of choice that will set us free in the long run. It’s that freedom of choice that will ensure you don’t waste your life away thinking about stuff you can’t control. You’ll always feel the power of freedom when you control your choices, no matter what life throws at you.

 

Make it a habit of looking inward.

Stoics are obsessed with taking time to look inward. It’s something they advocate above all of their other teachings. They suggest spending time in the morning to ask yourself questions about your life. As you do this, you’ll find the answers to life’s biggest questions become clearer in the context of your own life.

Looking inward helps you find the answers that you knew all along and thought were hidden inside of someone else, or something else. This practice will only work if you’re honest with yourself. Don’t be too brutal on yourself either. Realize that we all start somewhere and it’s where we can go that is the greatest gift we can enjoy.

 

Being paranoid and fearful will destroy you.

The antidote to fear and paranoia is self-control. Learn to control your impulses. If you become fearful that others will sabotage your success and you don’t remain in control over these fearful thoughts, you’ll lose sight of reality. These fearful thoughts will cause you to project your fears onto other people and they’ll give you exactly what you fear.

In simple terms, fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you put out comes right back at you.

 

Anger will not help you.

The Stoics believe that getting angry never gives you anything in return. Anger wastes your precious energy and resources, and provides no tangible benefit. This is why it’s better to practice non-reactivity rather than being pissed off at something you can’t control anyway.

Anger is like a contagious virus that spreads if you let it. Don’t let anger control you. Projecting anger on people can only result in you projecting anger on yourself. That’s why anger is also another self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Everything takes up space.

Seneca wrote many times that even things you get for free have a cost. That cost is space – space in your garage or even space in your mind.

“Learning to live with less will create space in your life for the things that truly matter to you”

The aim of the game is to look at your material possession and be honest with yourself: do you really need that object? If the answer is no, free some space up in your life. What Seneca says here is the reason I have personally given away and sold most of my possessions. I’ve never been happier.

 

Practice poverty.

Especially during prosperous times in your life, the Stoics believe you should practice poverty. This is how you prepare for hardship and become an expert in dealing with the ups and downs of life. Comfort can become a form of slavery because you consistently start to think that someone could take away what you have.

When you’re familiar with what you fear, it no longer controls you. The worst can happen and you go through it with a sense of calmness and ease. People think you’re resilient but actually, you’ve just practiced the hard times as preparation.

Quick tip: try eating a really cheap meal for a whole week every two months. Eat like you have almost no money. This will teach you to not only appreciate the nice meals but to be okay if you ever face poverty and have to live on very little money for a while. I know a few people that do a beans and rice meal for this week of living it rough. Try it!

 

You protect everything you have, why not your mind?

You don’t give away your wallet to a stranger on the street. You don’t hand the keys to your car over to a budding thief. You wouldn’t let your house be demolished by the council without a fight. So why would you hand over the keys to your mind so easily to any stranger who wants them?

You have to become aware of who you are unconsciously giving your mind over to. You need to realize who is influencing you in a negative way without knowing it.

“Your mind can create all the abundance you could ever imagine, so you need to protect it like it’s the only possession you have”

 

Don’t wreck the purpose of your life by trying to impress others.

The Stoics teach that the opinions of people you seek our to impress are not that great themselves. These people you seek to impress have addictions, their own problems, and are no wiser than the next person. The purpose of your life is not to impress people and doing so will have the opposite effect.

Focus on impressing yourself through personal growth and wisdom from people who serve the greater good. Go beyond yourself and avoid the need to seek approval. Take action and seek forgiveness later if you must.

 

Without proper training, you’re a fool.

If you seek to master a skill, then without proper training you will (by default) rely on ignorance, and you’ll act in a way that lacks discipline and requires chance.

“An investor without discipline is not an investor – he’s a gambler” – Ryan Holiday

 

Your mind becomes what you think consistently.

Whether you think mostly negative thoughts or positive thoughts will determine your default response to any situation. The more we practice negative thinking, the more likely we are to see the world as negative.

If we choose to practice nothing, then we also get the same outcome of an influx of negative thoughts. The only wise choice then is to practice seeing the good in everything. Start with being grateful

 

You don’t know everything.

This is a thought that many people secretly have when they claim they want to learn something new. The harsh reality is that many of us walk around as though we know everything. We know nothing of the infinite knowledge there is to acquire.

That sort of humbleness is where all the best learning starts from. Thinking less of yourself is the ultimate power: it’s where you can grow from and serve others. It’s this way of thinking that births leaders.

 

Think of your problems in relation to the sky.

Marcus Aurelius says that the stars wash away the dust of earthly life. This Stoic concept is a way for you to clear your mind of all the troubles you encounter day-to-day. In comparison, your problems are so small compared to the immense size of the universe.

Your problems don’t matter in the grand scheme of things so don’t fool yourself into believing they do. Look at the stars once in a while. Remember how lucky we are even to experience this planet we call Earth.

 

Forget stereotypes and labels: concentrate on character.

Stoics believe your character should be your most prominent feature. Outward traits such as skin color and clothing should be insignificant. Your character is defined by the work you do on yourself each day and the person you become.

Your character is what sells you as a person better than any other external force. Your character is your legacy. Your character is what you want to be known for.

 

Don’t sit on the sidelines. Do something inspirational yourself.

You can sit here all day and listen to me inspire you. You can watch all the inspirational videos that Youtube has to offer. What would be far better is to go out there and inspire people yourself rather than being inspired.

Take the inspiration you’ve gathered in your life and do something with it so you can allow others to create their own inspirational journey. Be the example rather than only listening to the example and saying “One day I’ll do that.”

 

There is never an end to the personal development journey.

You never reach mastery. The student never stops being a student. Even the teacher is still a student at heart. Stoicism is something you apply consistently, and it never ends. You apply it until the day you die and that’s how you gain the infinite wisdom it offers.

“You’ll never drink all the water in the ocean, just like you’ll never learn everything there is to know about Stoic philosophy and that’s fine too”

 

Work is good for you.

Ever heard that when people retire, they are statistically more likely to die within a few years of achieving this milestone in their life? That’s because work gives us a sense of purpose. Work gives us a reason to get up in the morning. Making progress through doing meaningful work feels good.

Too much idle time and the delusion that you can get rich and sit on a beach is what can cause you to feel empty inside. This feeling can cause you to have self-destructive thoughts that lead to an immense focus on one’s selfish desires and need for significance. In other words, work is good.

 

Don’t make life harder than it is. It’s your choice.

Choices are what stoics believe are the way to take a shortcut in life. They believe we can choose whatever we want including happiness, freedom, respect and feelings of being wealthy. The reoccurring theme here again is that we are in control of everything that happens and how we feel.

 

How you handle disaster is everything.

The way you deal with problematic situations is a true test of your character. Character in stoicism is not formed when everything is going right; character is formed when everything is going wrong. Don’t let problems spoil your mindset. Let optimism guide you in all situations.

 

Seek out obstacles.

Obstacles are a way for you to take a challenge that you may not like and use it as a lesson that can help you for the rest of your life. You learn from hardships above all else. Lessons from hardships make you smarter, stronger and better prepared for when adversity strikes again.

 

You have one job and only one job.

The Stoics have a core belief that all of us have only one job on Planet Earth: to be a good human being. If you learned nothing else about stoicism from this blog post, then I’ve succeeded.

Practice being a good human being and you’ll have one hell of a life.

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Why Choosing the Right Romantic Partner Is Crucial to Your Success

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business couple

There are lots of things which can affect your success at work. Your drive and ambition, how well you work with the rest of your team, how you are perceived by your boss, and of course, how good you are at your job. Nevertheless, did you ever think your partner’s personality could be a contributing factor, too?

Most people don’t think about their partner’s personality in terms of affecting their career success, but in fact, here are 5 reasons why your success at work lies in your partner’s personality:

1. You’re Independent – But You’re Not An Island

Some people are naturally resistant to the idea that their partner’s personality has an impact on their career success. It’s understandable. After all, aren’t we all sovereign beings who have sole responsibility for our lives and success?

But, think about it this way – are you more likely to perform well at work if you’re struggling with a lot of drama at home, or if your home life is running smoothly?

Imagine trying to get through an important meeting with your energy and focus intact, after a rough night fighting with your partner. When you think of it that way, it’s clear that your home life can and does impact your work life.

2. It Goes Beyond Whether You Fight Or Not

It’s obvious that having drama at home bleeds over into the workplace and impacts your performance. However, the effect of your partner’s personality on your career success goes beyond whether your relationship is drama-free or not.

Recent research from Washington University in St Louis shows that your partner’s personality has an effect on your working success. The study showed that the impact goes far beyond whether your partner is supportive during the big moments such as going for a promotion or a pay raise. In fact, your partner’s everyday behavior and attitude have a noticeable effect on your work life.

“It’s getting the right person that’s the challenge.” – Bob Schieffer

3. Why A Conscientious Partner Contributes To Work Success

Specifically, the study showed people who have a conscientious partner do better at work. If you have a conscientious partner, you know that you can trust them to do what they say they will do and have a strong sense of responsibility towards household tasks and chores.

People who have a conscientious partner feel more comfortable “outsourcing” to them. That means that if they’re busy at work, or caught up in a big project, they can put more attention and focus on it, because they know things at home will be taken care of in their absence. This increased focus makes it easier for them to succeed at work.

4. What If Your Partner Isn’t Conscientious?

Some of you might be reading this thinking “that’s great, but my partner isn’t that conscientious!” In that case, don’t despair. It’s time for some honest and open communication with your partner.

Sit down with your partner and talk honestly about how much their support means to you. Don’t accuse – that won’t help – but simply be honest about how their support at home contributes to your work life. Take the time to reassure them you want to offer them similar support when they need it.

5. It’s Time To Be Each Other’s Best Teammate

Whether it’s you who’s employed or your partner or the both of you, it’s time for you to be each other’s best teammate. Sit down with your partner and have an honest discussion about division of labor at home. Figure out who is responsible for which chores and household tasks, and talk about what happens when one of you is busy at work.

Being a good team goes beyond collaborating when it comes to housework and childcare, and into recognizing the way you impact each other’s work life and success. After all, success for one of you at work equals success for your household as a whole in terms of better cashflow and more stability.

“When I find the right person, nothing else will matter, but I’m prepared to kiss a lot of frogs.” – Sam Smith

Make time to talk with your partner about what is going on at their workplace, and share what is happening in your own career. Be aware of the times when your partner needs extra support because work is busy, and share honestly with them when you need some extra support.

Your home life has a direct impact on your working success. Stay aware of the effects so you can keep open communication with your partner and work towards greater success for both of you.

What does your partner do that makes you feel like they support you? Let us know by commenting below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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