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5 Ways To Stop Self-Doubt From Crippling Your Motivation

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5 Ways To Stop Self-Doubt From Crippling Your Motivation

Ever had that feeling of doubt that just pops into your mind when you need to think most clearly? Or that niggly voice that keeps whispering that you’re not good enough, or that you really don’t know what you’re doing, especially when you really need to stay motivated?

Or you might be making fantastic progress, until you start to question yourself making it a bit more challenging to get going again. If so, you’re definitely not alone. We’ve probably all been there at some point or another and although it might not be something that we openly talk about in public, it’s definitely happening behind the scenes.

Even Maya Angelou said – “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”

So how do you stop self doubt from crippling your motivation? Here are 5 ways to stop the self doubt:

 

1. Keep a diary

It’s easy to forget all the great stuff that you do, especially if you’re in the habit of finishing one thing and just going onto the next – so have a go at keeping a diary. It’s a great way to reflect on all the things that you did great and what went well in a particular project or activity. It’s also a nice way of blowing your own trumpet – especially if blowing your own trumpet doesn’t come naturally to you.

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” – C. JoyBell C.

2. Try not to compare yourself to others

This is often easier said than done especially in todays world of social media. It’s not hard to get caught up in thinking that everyone else is doing better than you. Unfortunately this is a habit that needs practice to break, but a great way to do this is to genuinely wish others well, and go back to focus on what you’re doing. You never know what’s going on behind the scenes anyway, and comparing yourself to them is doing no-one any favours. So keep working on your own journey.

 

3. Surround yourself with cheerleaders

The people you hang around with are so important, so make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people. The cheerleaders of the world. The people who really do want to see you succeed and do well. Yes we all have friends (or family) that are negative so rather than cutting them out completely, just don’t see them when you need a pep talk.

 

4. Get some me time

Time for you is so important. This could be a time slot once a week where you focus on your development, planning or reflection. Or it could be a hobby that you want to pursue to give you some time out. Either way, giving your brain a break is a great way to keep yourself on track.

“No matter how challenging things get, never stop believing in yourself. Self-doubt is nothing but a highway to failure.” – Edmond Mbiaka

5. Talk about it

Finally, talking about how you feel can work wonders. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean that the niggly feeling is true, and it doesn’t mean that you should stop what you’re doing.  Instead by sharing how you feel with friends and colleagues you might be surprise at how many people are in the same place, and together you can boost each other along.

What ways have you used to stop self-doubt from crippling your motivation?

Barbara Nixon specialises in Leadership and Management Development, helping Business Owners and Managers get the most out of their teams and themselves, and to be the best Boss they can be. She does this through one to one coaching, E-courses, and bespoke management development programmes and is passionate about practical solutions that really deliver. Visit her at http://www.barbaranixon.co.uk and grab your free download on the 7 Essential Tips to Being the Best Boss You Can Be at http://www.barbaranixon.co.uk/beingboss

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12 Comments

12 Comments

  1. Kaleem Jabar

    Nov 30, 2016 at 7:41 pm

    I just stumbled on your Article

  2. Bhavin Ashar

    Feb 5, 2016 at 10:12 am

    Thanks Barbara. Very short but powerful message. Very true a message. No 2 is easier said than done. No. 1 I have been always procrastinating but shall work right now on it.

  3. matata m.

    Feb 4, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    Hi Barbra , i love your post and it has really inspired and empowered and given me a new breathe of air

  4. Richie A. Corpez

    Nov 11, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    Not only Doubt cloud our imaginings as the brilliant author had put it cripple our motivation, it also kills our passion to succeed . Great pieces of advice Barbara Thank you for such a good read article 🙂

  5. Brittani

    Nov 9, 2015 at 7:53 pm

    It’s rare that I read a post, especially one with a list, that I agree with every single point. But with this one, every single point resonated with me. Such a great reminder. Thank you for writing this Barbara! And thanks for sharing!

    • Barbara Nixon

      Nov 10, 2015 at 9:20 am

      Hi Brittani, Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so glad you liked it. x

  6. Carol Berry

    Nov 9, 2015 at 1:29 pm

    I like the idea of keeping a diary. I have kept one as a food journal before but not thought of keeping one as a motivational support. I will certainly give this a try.

    I also like motivational quotes. I also find motivational CDs helpful. You don’t have to actively listen to them but you are taking in their messages subconsciously.

    • Barbara Nixon

      Nov 10, 2015 at 9:26 am

      Hi Carol, Glad you like the idea of a diary. I find it helpful, hope it works for you too. Great idea with the motivational CD’s. Thanks so much for sharing x

  7. Thapelo

    Nov 5, 2015 at 8:24 pm

    Excellent post. I like the diary idea. I never thought of it that a diary could serve as a reflecting tool.
    I personally deal with self-doubt by repeating motivating quotes by famous achievers. Then i think about such quote (thoughts) till i get into the real essence behind the quote. By that time any doubts would have cleared off from the mind and my motivation juices will be flowing once again. Thank you, great post indeed.

    • Barbara Nixon

      Nov 6, 2015 at 11:40 am

      Hi Thapelo, Thanks so much for your comment. I love your idea of repeating motivating quotes until you get your doubts have cleared. Thanks so much for sharing. Have a fantastic weekend 🙂

  8. Kath

    Nov 5, 2015 at 11:46 am

    This is such a great reminder, thank you Barbara! I love the bit about cheerleaders – it can make such a difference and it isn’t always the people we think will be our cheerleaders. I have found it’s important to remain open to new cheerleaders to come into my life when I least expect it!

    • Barbara Nixon

      Nov 6, 2015 at 11:44 am

      Hi Kath, I completely agree. Cheerleaders really do make a massive difference, and yes you’re right – sometimes it isn’t always the people you expect. Love it when this happens 🙂 Thanks so much for your comment. I really appreciate it.

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Motivation

3 Ways to Rethink Motivation in a Busy World

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motivation
Image Credit: Unsplash

I’ve been thinking a lot about the nature of motivation recently. For me, motivation comes at different points during the day. I tend to be most motivated first thing in the morning. I’m not a night owl by any means, but sometimes I wish I could be. Other people are hopeless in the mornings, but they can stay up until the wee hours working on a project that inspires them.

Unfortunately, sometimes motivation doesn’t strike when you need it to. Sometimes you’re not able to arrange your day to align with specific spikes in motivation, and you’re forced to find opportunities to be productive at the corners of the day.

Below, are several ways you can set yourself up for victory, despite a busy schedule or an inability to find the right time to feel motivated:

1. Tee yourself up for a motivation session

I’m not much of a golfer, so the fact that I’m using a golf phrase to preface this tip probably doesn’t make sense. But the point is that sometimes you have to make it easy for yourself to succeed when it’s time to make a leap. You can break a task down into its component parts, and pretty soon it doesn’t seem so difficult.

That’s what motivation is about sometimes. You can take that first step towards getting things progressed. You can set up everything so you just have to jump in with both feet first thing when you have the energy. Sometimes this means creating a to do list for yourself the night before to start tackling first thing in the morning.

Sometimes it can mean drafting an email or creating a template for a phone conversation that you’re planning to have first thing the next day. Whatever you can do to get your head right and set up the right incentives for you to take that swing the very next day when you’re feeling prepared, the better off you will be. Try it next time you’re feeling tired. Take 10 minutes to tee up your next move.

“Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.” – Les Brown

2. Fire, then aim

Unfortunately, sometimes teeing up a solution isn’t going far enough. What really works best is to put your head down and try to at least make a start at that “thing” you want to accomplish, that product you want to create, or that goal you want to reach. This can mean putting pen to paper, picking up the phone, typing out that email, or asking for that advice.

Do something, do anything. Whatever it takes, force yourself to make a minuscule action to move the ball forward. If you had a gun to your head or you were forced to do something to avoid losing everything in one moment, what would you do?

Perhaps this is a bit drastic, but by building a sense of urgency in the moment, even when it’s the last thing you want to do, you can find a deep source of motivation within you and set yourself up to tweak your efforts the next day.

Too often you’re overwhelmed and frozen into inaction when you reach for a large goal. This is the point of the “fire, then aim” approach.

3. Rid yourself of self doubt

One of the best ways to set yourself up for victory in the long run is to build your self confidence. If you truly believe in yourself, you will find the motivation to persist and persevere.

If you truly have faith in yourself and your ability to deliver what you set out to deliver, you can do it. The world will align to your dreams. But this won’t happen if you let yourself be talked down by self-doubt and worry about what others will think.

“The moment you feel yourself hesitate on something you know you should do, count 5-4-3-2-1 to activate your prefrontal cortex and interrupt the habit of overthinking, self-doubt, and fear.” – Mel Robbins

Some worry and concern is rational and even important, but for the most part, fear will only hinder your progress. Get the negative voices out of your head by tapping into the inner ego and reminding yourself that you can accomplish what you set out to accomplish.

If you put your mind to something, and you are stubborn in your resistance to listening to other people’s’ opinions of what you do, then you will be hard pressed to not succeed.

The hardest part is the start. Finding ways to make that start even a little bit less painful can make the time that it takes to create something amazing all that much easier.

How do you motivate yourself? Share your ideas below!

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Motivation

A Step by Step Process That Will Help You Make the Impossible, Possible

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make it happen

We have all been there, looking at something and wishing we had it. The girl, the car, the money, the family, the lifestyle…but then we tell ourselves “Yeah, but that’s not me”. The people who get that are cut from a different cloth and we keep telling ourselves that until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We waste the wings we got believing the entire time that we can’t fly and that it’s impossible for us. We don’t even see our wings most of the time. (more…)

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Motivation

(Part 2) Conquering the Impossible Space Between Where You Are Now and Where You Want to Be

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risk taking
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I wrote a blog post based on a mini-series I did for my Subscribers on the Achieve the Impossible App and have packaged it up in two parts to share here. If you missed Part One, quick click here and have a read over that first before reading any further!

One of the first obstacles we’re going to face on this journey towards risk is one that often strikes a damaging blow to our pride and can sometimes take us to our knees. As you embark on this journey, I can almost guarantee that we will take a wrong turn from time to time, we will read the map wrong (I’ll take the hit, I’m the navigator – sorry!) which will send us off course.

When you’ve taken a wrong turn driving, what is your first thought? DAMN IT. (Yep, me too!) What’s your second thought? Is it ‘ahh, I’ve stuffed up. I’m gonna just pull over and sit here until either the roads and maps magically change in my favor or someone comes to rescue me?’ Or do we think ‘Ok, what’s the quickest way to get back on my path?’

Mistakes Will Happen

When we stuff up, make a mistake, choose the wrong software, tell the wrong people or say the wrong thing, we don’t just pack up our dreams and hide. NO. We pick ourselves back up. We face the right direction (or what we believe is the right direction) and we MOVE FORWARD.

I don’t care if you start by walking one ginger step at a time, just start! Those small steps gain momentum and eventually lead to a jog, then before you know it, you’re back running!

Mistakes aren’t meant to end us, they are there to redirect us. Anytime you embark on an unknown journey you’re going to make mistakes.How you respond is the only thing I want you to focus on. Respond with reflection, movement and momentum in the direction of your dreams.

On our journey, we’re going to make mistakes and take wrong turns from time to time, but we choose to pick ourselves back up, and get back on that journey! We’re not staying stuck, we’re ‘running to risk’! As we get back on this journey, we’re going to need to make a decision to take action and invest in risk.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

Sounds like I’m about to write a message on Warren Buffett’s worst nightmare. But that’s not the risk I’m talking about and it’s not the investing I’m talking about. Sleep tight, Warren. This risk I’m talking about is the thing that stands between you and your dream. The thing that you’ve told yourself is too strong, too powerful and too insurmountable to climb.

It’s often the case that the risk we perceive in our own minds is actually far greater than it truly is in reality. I remember as a child, visiting a museum and being fascinated by a scary looking dinosaur down the other side of the room. It looked ferocious and intimidating from across the room, and as I walked closer and closer, the dinosaur, through the magic of perspective, got bigger and bigger.

That’s where I feel we are at right now on our journey towards risk. We’ve identified the risk standing between us and our dreams, and we’re taking the tentative first steps towards it. As we step closer and closer to risk, it will look bigger. You’ll start to compare the size of it to you, and don’t be surprised if it grows each step you take. But, have faith.

The closer I got to the dinosaur, the bigger it became. I had a choice to let fear or faith determine my next steps. I continued walking step by step towards the prehistoric creature. Then something strange happened.

Yes, the closer I got to the creature, the bigger it became. But then something else came into the picture. The closer I got, the more detail I was noticing. What I thought were bone-crunching teeth were actually a matte white plastic, what I thought was impenetrable skin was old flaking greeny-brown paint. Those eyes that glared at you from across the room, were now nothing but big marble sized spheres of glass.

When we step towards fear, yes it gets bigger – but as we invest in faith and continue to live our lives in the direction of our dreams, we expose the master of risk…FEAR.

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

Invest in those extra steps this week as you get closer to risk to point out the finer details, you’re going to realise it’s not as scary as it once seemed. Those steps aren’t always going to come easy though, because the journey towards risk is an interesting one.

There’ll be times when you’re pumped full of Adrenalin, bashing down every obstacle that comes your way. There will be times where you’re cruising on a nice downhill slope, enjoying the scenery and wondering why it took you this long to convince yourself to get here!

Then there’ll be times when things aren’t easy. Just like my climb this evening up a little mountain by my home on the Sunshine Coast of Australia. I started out full of energy, pumped for the adventure ahead, then five minutes into the usually very achievable rocky steps, my legs started really feeling it.

“You’ll never know your strength until you’ve faced your struggles.”

The Adrenalin gave way to frustration, to fear and to my quickly draining self-belief in my fitness. I continued one painful step at a time. I wasn’t going the pace I normally would, but knew this mountain could be conquered one slow step at a time.

As I slowly neared the end of the steps, my legs were burning, my heart pounding and my mindset weakening. Two quiet words burst through my pain…

Stay strong

I’m pretty sure I’ve never said this going up the mountain before, but it seemed fitting. As I climbed one step at a time, ‘stay strong’ became my repeated mantra. After the season of pain and intentional mindset building, I reached the summit of the mountain and cruised my way back down.

There is such an incredibly untapped power within our self-belief and mindset, which shapes our self-talk. On your journey towards your risk, I can almost guarantee you’ll be faced with steps that seem too difficult, too challenging, too much to conquer.

Remember…’stay strong’. You’re on this path for a reason – you’re capable of completing it. You’ve come this far, see it through. Your ‘impossible’ dream is counting on you to conquer fear and run to risk!

This blog is based off the mini-series ‘Run to Risk’ first featured on the Achieve the Impossible App, accompanied by downloadable wallpapers and daily inspiring messages to inspire, challenge and equip you to achieve your impossible dream. Download the Achieve the Impossible App and start your free trial today!

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Motivation

(Part 1) Conquering the Impossible Space Between Where You Are Now and Where You Want to Be

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Deep down, you know exactly what you are capable of. There’s even moments where you get a glimpse of all the potential you have. You can get there. You just have to be willing to sacrifice the habits, things and situations that are standing in the way of your success. I honestly believe “Running to Risk” has the power to unlock mindsets and belief systems that have been holding you back from your true potential (I’m naturally conservative so it’s big coming from me!)

Before we do something crazy and ‘run to risk’, let’s take stock of where we are today and our foundational beliefs in our potential and true capacity. In the day-to-day act of living, waking up, coffee, breakfast, school drop-offs, work, more coffee, home, homework, dinner, finish off emails, glass or two of (insert drink here), collapse on couch, Netflix etc. We can become disconnected with our true potential and capacity.

You are being pulled from all sides – your family, your boss, your colleagues, your partner, your friends, even your dog. You can be forgiven for prioritising the present over the future.

To set up this series on healthy and personal-capacity fuelled risk, I want you to invest a moment or two searching deep within yourself.

  • What’s in your heart for 2019?
  • What is one thing you would look back on come 31st Dec 2019 and be proud of your personal accomplishment?
  • What’s something that scares you?
  • What’s that one thing that has been on the back of your mind that you’d love to put your name to in your lifetime?

The answer to the above is the thing we’re going to focus on in part one of this post. We’re focusing on it because with every achievement that challenges our personal capacity and unlocks our potential, there will be an element of risk.

Risk Is Scary!

Risk stares you in the face from afar and says ‘don’t you dare approach. Don’t even try’. This is when you’re faced with a decision to make, and the best (and also worst!) thing about it is you’re the only one who can make it!

As you make this decision to ‘run to risk’, the regret of not running has to be stronger than your personal comfort. Your comfort must give way to your calling. Your present must give way to your potential.

Think about the one thing on your heart – the thing that helps you step into your calling and potential. The thing with risk looming all over it. Let’s build the strength, self-belief, courage, boldness and tenacity to ‘Run to Risk.’ But what about timing? I’m not sure if I should be pursuing my dream now.

“You can’t always wait for the perfect time. Sometimes, you have to dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what might have been.”

We’re not running to risk for a laugh and a good time, we’re running to risk because that dream in our hearts for 2019 is worth pursuing. When faced with the potential of risk, we often come up with thoughts and reasons to justify our lack of momentum or progress.

I don’t know how!

I don’t have the money!

I don’t have the connections!

But one of the most common excuses I hear (I know, because I hear it from myself) is a little sentence that has killed more dreams and crushed more souls than most. ’It’s not the right time’.

It’s one of the most powerful excuses because it bulldozes every other excuse by default. You’ll always meet more people, money comes and goes, but once time is gone, it’s gone forever. This excuse becomes our default without us even realising it.

I remember when I was wanting to launch a few online courses, a podcast and a book. (These are all my risks for 2019). But they were also my goals for 2017 and 2018. Sadly, I put my insecurities ahead of my identity and my convenience over my calling. Looking back now, each excuse I held to for not launching these projects was based on timing.

First, the IG algorithms were affecting posts, then someone else launched a podcast in my niche and gosh, I couldn’t do that! Next, as I was writing my IG Online Course, another one came on the market. Nope, can’t do that now. I’ll wait until the marketing heat dies down on that one. The exact same situation with my book launch…it just wasn’t quite the right time.

Here’s what I learnt and something I want to share with you, there’s never a right time to do the thing that’s on your heart. The right time will never simply show up, you’ve got the time, now it’s up to you to make it right!

Looking back, I’ve felt the pain of regret and don’t want to let the fear of risk lead to regret again. Now is the time to look risk dead square in the eyes and say ‘ready or not, here I come’. Yeah, the I could start now I guess…I know what I want to do and I kinda believe now is as good of time as any…I’m honestly not sure where to start.

“Never be afraid to try something new, because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.”

Now It’s Time!

We’ve just told risk we’re coming for it. We’ve made the decision to put our calling over our comfort and choose to be lead by faith not fear. Now it’s the time to start. We’re starting right now because we have been given the time, and we’ve got complete power and control to make it the ‘right time’. We’ve made the decision to go after that thing that’s on our heart, the thing we’ve always wanted to do, the thing that has been too risky.

Not anymore. Today, we start.

There is huge power in the start. When we start, we have the luxury of being on home ground. We are making more decisions for ourselves, rather than having to make decisions based on responses which we will have to inevitably do down the road.

Today, we start.

We’re filled fresh with enthusiasm, passion and driven by our desire to accomplish something meaningful this year. Yesterday, we may have had a loss to our name, we may have stumbled and fallen…but you’ve picked yourself up.

Today, we start.

We look to the future with our heads held high, the hopes of a brighter future with that dream in our heart knowing that we are valiantly pursuing it despite the risk. We know our dream, we know we are capable of achieving it, we know we’ve got the time and today, we start.

We start the journey as we ‘Run to Risk’.This blog is based off the mini-series ‘Run to Risk’ first featured on the Achieve the Impossible App, accompanied by downloadable wallpapers and daily inspiring messages to inspire, challenge and equip you to achieve your impossible dream. Download the Achieve the Impossible App and start your free trial today!

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