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4 Ways You Can Solve The Most Intimidating Challenges



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It begins with a feeling of inflamed enthusiasm as your grand idea plays in your mind. Maybe it’s starting a business, or taking it to the next level. The challenge sets your heart on fire with excitement, and plants a smile on your lips, but then something happens.

Anxiety and doubt creep in and drown out the passion. You don’t know if you have what it takes to bring the idea into fruition. Getting the courage to start seems like a far-fetched dream, and it’s frustrating.

The good news is, you don’t have to wait for all the stars to align to get started. In this post, we will cover some techniques you can use to help you start working on your idea. So, let’s get this show on the road.

1. Rub shoulders with the selected few

Taking an impossible challenge is scary, because it feels like you don’t have a blueprint for success. It’s a killer thought, but you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every time. Find someone who has achieved incredible success when the odds are stuck against them.

With a little bit of research, you can find such an individual. The fact that they overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles serves you well. You don’t have to do exactly what they did, but instead, you can adapt it to your situation.

“Well, what if I’m a pioneer like Elon Musk, whom do l look up to?”, you ask. The good news is, you can learn from successful pioneers in other fields who made it to the hall of fame. Learn the lessons, adapt it to your situation, and keep moving forward.

“Every great achiever is inspired by a great mentor.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

2. Be open to suggestions

You will work extremely hard, but then the unexpected will happen. You will follow your plan with surgical precision, and it won’t always turn out the way you expected it to. There will be numerous twists and turns along the way that seem to take us off course.

You see, we always have in mind how we want things to go, but that’s not always the case in reality. It’s easy to be disappointed because you have held too tightly to your expectations. What you should do instead,  is make peace with the fact that every pursuit will not be a linear path. There’s no simple straight forward path to your success.

Here’s the catch, it’s not a matter of whether detours will happen, it’s a matter of when it will happen. And when they do, always remind yourself that it’s perfectly normal.

3. Learn to unlearn

Let’s say you want to start a business. The first thing you need to understand is that the landscape will always be changing. Be it your market, competitors, industries, or even yourself. Something may work the first time, but it doesn’t mean that it will the second time. The next time may mean discarding it, and trying a new way.

You will need to adopt a beginner’s mindset, be curious, and be open to new ideas. At some point along the journey, you have to ask yourself what old lessons need to be thrown out, and what you need to learn afresh. You will need  to let go of what you thought was true, and that’s the hardest part.

So, the question is, do you know what you don’t know?

4. Chill out

Constant pressure will be the theme of your life. The long hours and the all-consuming focus in your pursuit for success. The catch is, if you’re not careful they will catch up with you, consume you, and thrust you into a downward spiral. There’s the danger in believing the myth that if you work inhumanely long hours, forego life’s pleasures such as sleep, then success will come knocking on your door.

Instead, you have to learn to recharge yourself, because your life or business depends on it. You have got to learn to put the lights out, so that you can keep them on. You see, it will be tempting to keep going even when you’re tired, but there’s a problem. Everyone pursuing an almost impossible challenge, believes that the law of diminishing returns applies to everyone but them. And it’s delusional.

What you don’t want is disaster in the form of a burn-out that gets you back on the drawing board. It’s a long stretch, so take a pause, chill, and replenish your energy reserves. You will be grateful you did.

“Taking time to rest, renew, and refresh yourself isn’t wasted time. Recharge. Choose what energizes you.” – Melody Beattie

Are you ready?

To sum up, solving that challenge may seem impossible because you are doubtful of your abilities. But you are not alone. Everyone who is wildly successful has felt it at some point along their journey. You can take away some of the pressure by making peace with your inner critic. That nagging little voice in your mind can be put to rest by applying the above mentioned techniques. So give it a go.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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