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How to Embody Unbreakable Confidence in the Era of Uncertainty

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If you’d like to learn how to develop unbreakable confidence so you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.


In an era of profound uncertainty where people’s trust has collapsed across all industries, looking sexy, being outspoken, or even charismatic is not enough to make us think of someone as a truly confident person. Today, people want to see the real you owning your real story.

Confidence doesn’t discriminate. It is an attribute possessed by all those who have cultivated the ability to show up fully in their lives without allowing the mental baggage of negative comments someone once said about their bodies, their intellect, their background, or their abilities to dim their light. 

You know those things we all think at times such as “you are not good enough,” “you are too fat,” “you are too short,” “you are too old,” “you are too loud,” “you are too average,” “you are too privileged,” “it’s too late for you,” and so on? Those mental recordings playing nonstop in our heads interfere with our capacity to express ourselves authentically and attract what we desire more than we are willing to admit. 

Having the courage to recognize those negative recordings as a collection of old stories playing in our minds like a broken record allows us to remember that our worth is our birthright. It is that unshakable awareness of being enough, and not having to prove anything to anyone, that enables us to radiate confidence as the full expression of who we are and what we are here to do. That is the experience of embodiment. 

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu

Here are 3 steps to cultivate your ability to embody confidence:

1. Always start with your body

Scientists unanimously agree our body is made of 99% energy and only 1% matter, which means that human beings respond to our energetic vibration far more than our written or spoken words. In other words, people feel us. And their feelings about us will override any picture, number, credential, or logical thinking we can bring to the conversation.

The first way to cultivate the embodiment of confidence is to get inspired and to move. That’s right, spend one-week moving your body for ten to twenty minutes every single morning while listening to your favorite playlist with a deliberate intention of feeling fearless and untamed and watch what happens in your life. Don’t be surprised if random people start coming up to you to ask you for directions, or if those who know you best will tell you that you are glowing.

2. Stop fixing yourself and start honoring who you are

It’s easy to get into fixing-mode, and to believe the solution for not feeling confident enough could come from something as plain as getting a new degree, finding the right partner, or changing the way your body looks. However, searching for the solution outside of yourself and relying exclusively on external outcomes cannot possibly lead to any long-lasting transformation. 

Rather than seeing your external goals as a requirement to feel good enough about yourself, try viewing them as a byproduct of feeling that way to start. For example, stop thinking, “I’ll feel good when I get that big commission,” and turn that into “I choose to focus on feeling good now knowing that when I do that, my performance improves, and I become a match for higher compensation.” 

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

3. Do what is right by you

When it comes to real confidence, we can’t just pay attention to what we do and how we do it. We must focus on the reason why we want to do it in the first place. In one of the most-watched Ted Talks of all time, Simon Sinek explains how some of the world’s most influential leaders understood that people don’t buy into a product, service, movement, or idea until they understand the WHY behind it.

The same is true for confidence. Shift your focus on your message rather than your performance and watch all uncomfortable sales calls become a chance to share a groundbreaking solution with individuals who need your services. Becoming present to your authentic message and feeling connected to your core beliefs will impact your breathing patterns, your voice, and your body language and transpire as real confidence radiating from within you.

In conclusion, to embody confidence, we must be fully present. That can only happen if we dive into the physical experience of our bodies (Step 1), detach from the old thought patterns populating our busy mind (Step 2), and restore our connection with our core beliefs and desires (Step 3). The more you practice the three steps I shared with you, the easier it will get for you to acknowledge your presence and for others to experience it. 

Embodiment is just that: the practice of feeling more and caring more, which is what makes truly us more human.

In times of uncertainty, how do you manage to feel confident? Share your thoughts with us below!

Rakel Chafir is a body confidence expert and success coach who teaches women how to heal their relationship with their body so they can reach their full potential in life. Her signature approach combines physical movement, resilience training, neuroscience, and spiritual principles to help clients let go of addictive behaviors which prevent them from being successful in every area of their lives. Rakel has worked in some of New York City’s most elite studios as a certified personal trainer and also has an extensive background in health and wellness that includes being a Precision Nutrition Certified Coach, a Master Expert in Hypopressive Abdominal Method, a Spirit Junkies Level 2 alumni, and more. Her expertise has been featured on Thrive Global and CEOWorld Magazine. Rakel is the author of the forthcoming Free Your Body: 7 Steps To Get The Freedom You Deserve and the Body You Desire (November 2020).

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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