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Your Enthusiasm Will Make A Difference

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enthusiasm makes a difference
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I have read Dr. Peale’s book “Enthusiasm Make The Difference.” As a matter of fact, I have read a few of his books. All of them are good reads. I love the examples and stories of his patients and clients in a world so far different than ours today. The stories are pre-internet days. Pre-everything days really. Some say it was much simpler then, than now. To a certain extent, I agree with those people. Life has sped up.

I remember my younger days with the long phone chords stretching them as far as possible to get some privacy and the big box televisions that weighed a gazillion pounds. Atari, Betamax VCR’s, eight-tracks, cassette tapes, and so many other obsolete devices we all used that no longer exist. It’s funny, those things are gone with new improved and faster technology, but the wisdom of Dr. Peale remains the same. It’s true, enthusiasm does make the difference. It was the same as in 1967 when his book was published and now in 2019. If you want people to listen to you, follow you, or learn from you, you need enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm matters

Each semester I begin all my classes doing push-ups the first day. The students come in with regular street clothes expecting to hear the usual “spiel” on the class requirements, paperwork, and the expectations for the course. Now, remember, I teach kids how to lift weights, not math or science. Following the discussion of general information, I tell them to get in a big circle in the weight room.

I teach them how to do a correct push-up and demonstrate key points to make it more safe and effective. Then, we do a lot of push-ups. I am usually met with some resistance with a few of the students. While they all elected to take the class (it is not required- but should be), they are not too keen on doing push-ups in their blue jeans or their “school clothes.” Almost 100% of the time, the students finish loving the activity. They laugh and have fun with it. Why? I make it fun for them. I am loud. I talk fast. I make jokes (they are funny to me, probably not to them).

I do the push-ups with them. I am enthusiastic about the experience! If I went into the activity with typical teacher talk, I would not get the same effect. Furthermore, if I went into it being a drill sergeant and demanded it from them, I would be met with a ton of resistance as well. I start each class and each semester with push-ups for a few reasons. I want to let them know the course will be challenging. I want to show them that you do not need a long drawn out routine for exercise to be effective. And, mostly to show them that physical training can be a fun and enjoyable experience.

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I coach wrestling, I might not smile as much, at least in the beginning, but I make it a priority to be enthusiastic each day. I talk to my team a lot about the proper mindset they need to have each day to have a good practice and to get the most out of the workout. I tell them that it will be tough and needs to be tough because from that we get better, and we will shorten the learning curve with other teams that have more experience.

I participate in most conditioning workouts with them. I want to share the experience with them. By doing that, I build trust and rapport. Ultimately though, what matters most is that each day I (and my other coaches) are enthusiastic in what we do.

Enthusiasm is the “secret sauce” in nearly every life activity. Whether it is mowing the lawn or working out, having energy and spirit make any challenging experience better. Enthusiasm also brings out the best in others!

How to develop enthusiasm

Let’s be clear before I discuss ways to develop enthusiasm with your team or daily life, it isn’t Pollyanna double-speak and painting a rosy picture to your students, organization, or employment staff. Enthusiasm is bringing passion and love into an experience and doing it with energy and vitality. It is selling your people to buy into your program, and it is showing up prepared and ready to attack what’s ahead of you. It is not getting through it and surviving.

How can we develop an enthusiastic attitude? It first begins in your own mind! Everything we do starts in our minds. To be passionate, you need to plant the seeds of enthusiasm into your thinking. You need to tell yourself that it’s going to be a great experience and your day is going to be filled with opportunities!

You tell yourself you are “lucky” to have the chance to do whatever you do. What if you do not feel that way? Well, you lie to yourself. You keep telling yourself that it is going to be good. You catch the negative thinking right away and quickly change it to something that will benefit and motivate you.

In what ways can we demonstrate enthusiasm with others? The biggest thing that will show your enthusiasm is your body language, tone of your voice, and facial expressions. In other words, your physiology. If you want people to be enthusiastic, you demonstrate it first. You talk louder. You move faster. Equally important, you smile and have some fun in what you are doing.

And if you don’t feel that way when you start, fake it, do it anyway, and I guarantee you will quickly morph into the person you are trying to be. You will get excited and feel full of energy. You “trick” yourself into being enthusiastic and low and behold after a couple of minutes, you are!

“Enthusiasm releases the drive to carry you over obstacles and adds significance to all you do.” – Norman Vincent Peale

So remember, enthusiasm starts in your own thinking. If you think lazy and uninspiring thoughts, the result will be that you are lazy and uninspired in your daily living and communication with people. You need to change your thinking deliberately. At first, it will need to be repetitive and constant. Eventually, it only takes a quick reframe of your negative thought to turn it into a positive one. But like anything else in life that’s worth it, it takes time and effort.

You also have to move your body like a person who has enthusiasm. “Fake it till you make it.” If you move your body intending to be enthusiastic, your mind will follow.

My name is John Klessinger. I am a 44-year-old physical education teacher, high school wrestling coach, and fitness trainer. I have been a public high school teacher and wrestling coach for the past 21 years. I have worked in the fitness industry as a personal trainer, strength and conditioning coach, and group fitness instructor for the past fifteen years. I have been married nearly 18 years to my wife, Kristel and we have two teenagers, Ellie, who is 15 and Mason, almost 13. You can check out my other blog posts at www.coachkless.com/blog and eBook "Strong Mind Strong Body" on Amazon Kindle. 

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Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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