Connect with us


4 Ways to Find Yourself Again



Image Credit: Unsplash

There are many upsides to this interconnected, technologically driven world we live in today. We’re able to quickly and easily connect with people, literally, across the world. Business has become more globalized, and learning has never been more accessible or easy.

However, there are some downsides to our world as it is today also. There’s one in particular that I think is becoming a bigger and bigger issue by the day, and that is people losing themselves. 

You might be wondering what I mean when I say “losing themselves” so let me explain. Now, more than ever before, people are being influenced by outside forces through things like social media. And because of that, we’ve fallen into a culture of comparison, where everyone is seeking to be like those they look up to.

The problem is, in the process of doing that, people are creating lives they don’t truly enjoy and are void of true happiness and fulfillment. Lives that are out of alignment with their core values. That’s the reason why you see trends like the number of millionaires going up every single day, while the rate of depression rises alongside it. The good news is, it’s possible to find and reconnect with yourself again. 

If you’ve ever dealt with that feeling of being unhappy and disconnected from the life you want to be living, keep reading to learn four strategies to find yourself again:

1. Ask those who know you best

There are very few, if any, resources in this life that are greater than relationships. A life well lived is one filled with deep, meaningful relationships. One of the benefits of having those sorts of relationships is being able to have people to go to with things like finding yourself again.

When we go down this rabbit hole of change and transformation in the wrong direction, it becomes difficult to pull ourselves out on our own. That’s where those key relationships come in handy.

The first strategy for finding yourself again is to ask the people who know you best. These people tend to know the “real” you. They can give you insights into some of the parts of yourself that may have gotten buried under all the junk that got piled on over the years. 

Asking those who know you best questions about your strengths, values, and purpose in life can go a long way in helping you rediscover who you are, what you value, and what you were put on this earth to do.

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali

2. Get off social media

Like I mentioned above, social media is such an amazing tool that has so many wonderful aspects to it. But, it can also be prime real estate for an identity complex and someone really getting disconnected from themselves.

The comparison that comes from constant engagement and use of social media is a breeding ground for insecurities and/or lust of wanting to be like someone else or have their life. So, you can probably guess where I’m going with this, but a great way to reconnect with yourself is to get off of social media.

Think about it like this, if you were an alcoholic, you wouldn’t hang out in bars hoping to kick your addiction. At least not if you had high hopes of being successful. Well, if you’re struggling with feeling disconnected and are frequently on social media, maybe a good detox is in order.

It’s estimated that the average adult spends 150 plus minutes a day on social media. If you had that extra time to do the other strategies on this list, imagine how much good that would do you in finding yourself again.

3. Get into nature

If you’re feeling lost and disconnected, a great way to find yourself is to just slow down, be still, and go inward to reconnect with your thoughts and feelings. The problem is, we live in a hustle and bustle society that glorifies being busy. 

And since most people live that way, finding time to be still, get quiet, and go within for answers seems impossible. For most people, long gone are the days of having a quiet space for themselves to completely disconnect without distractions.

That’s why the next great strategy for finding yourself is getting into nature. Sometimes in life we’ve got to force ourselves to go to great lengths in order to get what we want. Well, if still and quiet in order to reconnect is what you’re seeking, there isn’t a much better place to find it than out in nature.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t recall the last time I was in the middle of nowhere and had great WiFi, cars whizzing by, or social media and tv’s to fill my head with nonsense. So much of creating a desired result in life is about intention. Getting yourself out into nature and away from the distractions of the world shows that you’re serious about creating the space necessary to find yourself again.

“We need time to defuse, to contemplate. Just as in sleep our brains relax and give us dreams, so at some time in the day we need to disconnect, reconnect, and look around us.” – Laurie Colwin

4. Attend a personal growth conference or seminar

Okay, this may be the coach coming out in me, but I truly do believe that a great place to reconnect with yourself is at a personal growth conference or seminar. And I’ll tell you why.

If you’ve ever been to one of these events, you know that the primary intention is to help people overcome some sort of obstacle in their lives or get to a new level. There are two great things about these events: 1. Being able to explore your deeper desires, and 2. Being around and connecting with like minded people.

Not only do personal growth events inspire you, but they also present an opportunity for you to do some deep work on yourself and your life. That’s why you hear people talk about walking away from these types of events feeling “transformed.” It’s because they were able to engage in personal growth work that they probably weren’t making time for outside of that sort of setting.

To be clear, these types of events aren’t a “quick fix” type of thing, and shouldn’t be relied upon to fix all your issues. But, they do present a forum for you to detach from your current reality and gain some new perspective on life. 

Plus, personal growth events offer great opportunities for connection. And, even better than that, connection with the right kinds of people. People who are all on a journey of personal growth and discovery. Relationships with the right people can be so catalytic in you finding yourself again, and you’ll be able to find those sorts of connections at personal growth events.

Putting it all together

Let’s be honest, having that feeling of disconnection from yourself sucks. It’s not a fun place to be. But, the good news is that there are steps that you can take when you’re feeling that way, to find yourself again.

If you do the four things I mentioned above, asking those closest to you, getting off of social media, getting into nature, and attending personal growth events, you’ll find it much easier to reconnect with who you are and get yourself back on track in life.

What advice do you have for people who are struggling to reconnect with who they truly are and getting back on track in life? Share your advice below!

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading


5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
Continue Reading


3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



Image Credit: Unsplash

Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

Continue Reading


Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



Image Credit: Unsplash

A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

Continue Reading