We all have a burning question that we’ve held back from asking. This question has the power to shape our destiny and lead us towards something we’ve always dreamt of. Why is it then that we hold ourselves back from asking it?
What is it about those words coming out of our mouth that we’re so damn afraid of? This is the question that has plagued me for the last few weeks. Like you, I too have a question that I’ve been holding back from asking.
I know deep down that I must ask it yet that doesn’t make it any easier. Taking the plunge into uncertainty takes courage, and as much as we all think we have the strength to do so when it comes to crunch time, we magically get distracted.
Stop delaying. Here are the 7 reasons why you should ask that one question right now:
1. There may be no tomorrow
You have the opportunity to ask that burning question today. You may not have the chance to do so tomorrow. If your question involves another person, then something could happen to them. They may get hit by a car, move country, go missing, find their special partner, etc.
The only chance you have to ask someone that burning question is right now. When you take this perspective, you’ll find that your sense of urgency will increase and you’ll take action more often when it comes to these difficult questions.
None of us are going to be here forever and so we need to get comfortable living in the moment. Even if the answer to your question is not the one you seek, it could change in a week’s time anyway.
2. The fear is not going to go away
There isn’t some magical moment where all of a sudden all of your fear subsides and you have the perfect moment to ask your question. You’re going to be fearful about asking your burning question for as long as you don’t ask it.
I’ve been urging you all for years now to face your fears and enjoy the feeling you get when you do something that seemed scary. Whatever outcome you’re scared will happen from asking your question will probably not happen at the same level you are dreaming about anyway.
So if the fear is not going to go away then why not suffer from it the least amount you can? The way you do this is by getting that burning question out of you. Ask it. Be okay with whatever the answer is. Use the answer to move you forward or even help you move on.
3. You’ll grow if you do
We humans crave growth. We’re part of mother nature’s grand plan, and that plan can only be executed on if we grow like the rest of nature. Asking this one hard question will help you grow even more than you realise. Once you get it out, it will make the next hard question easier to ask.
That’s right; this is only one of many hard questions. When you get this one out of the way, there will be another waiting for you right around the corner. Every time you face these tough questions, you build more mental muscle. This allows you to ask even tougher questions.
When you get to the top of your game, you even get to ask questions for which you’re probably not even entitled to ask yet. Asking tough questions allows you to get things that could seem unreasonable to most.
“If you want things that would seem unreasonable, then you need to play this snakes and ladders game of asking the questions you’re scared to ask”
4. The tough questions will change the path of your life
Looking at the lives of those who inspire us, you’ll notice that the road to their success has many crossroads. At the center of these crossroads is usually a tough question. This tough question typically leads to a difficult decision.
The journey to greatness is full of tough questions and the people who ask them are the ones that change the path of their life for the better. I’ve had many times where I’ve been faced with the same challenge.
When I’ve embraced the difficult task of asking the tough question I’ve always been surprised by the result. I mean I asked for forgiveness, inspiration, a fulfilling career, phenomenal networks of people, and got all of these requests and more. I didn’t always get it the first time I asked, but I got it eventually.
I’ve even asked for certain parts of my life to be destroyed. Why would I do such a thing? Simple, because I want to rebuild Rome in a new way and invite new soldiers to come and fight the enemy lines of negativity with me. At the end of devastation, there can only be hope and prosperity.
I’d never be where I am today if I decided to ignore the tough questions. I have to remind myself of this right now because I’m about to ask a tough question and I can honestly say I have no idea what the outcome will be.
“All I can do is what I always do; have hope and believe that I am enough”
5. You’ve got nothing to lose
Seriously what have you got to lose? If it all blows up in your face and ends in tears, it doesn’t matter. None of us have permanent memories that occupy our thoughts 100% of the time. The answer you may get could be the opposite of what you hope for. If it involves someone else, then they could hate or laugh at you for the rest of your life.
Thankfully there are a few billion more people that you can interact with. Think of it like this: one down and 7.5 billion to go. Fear of loss stops us from asking the question that could help us to unleash our full potential. Don’t be that person.
6. You deserve it
You work hard every day to battle through the struggle that is human existence. I think you deserve to ask your tough question and have the chance to get the response that could unlock your dreams. Don’t feel like this question is out of your reach because it’s not.
You’re spending your days trying to figure out the meaning of life, and this question will help you to progress in this quest. It’s clear that you deserve what you want but what is not clear is whether you are prepared to ask the tough questions and whether or not you will help people at the same time.
By bringing good to the world, you will get your payment in the form of a yes once in a while to one of these tough questions. If you don’t do any good in the world and never ask the tough questions, then you will not be able to reap the benefits.
7. You’re good enough
You may be hesitating to ask this one tough question because you think it’s unreasonable for you to get a yes. I’m here to tell you that you are good enough and you can get the answer you are hoping for. Maybe not the first time, but through persistence you will eventually get what you are searching for.
The world tells you so often that you’re not good enough, sexy enough, smart enough, rich enough but you are. How do I know? Because every one of us is exactly where we should be right now at this point in time. The questions we’ve asked and the decisions we have made have led us to this point.
It’s not a question of whether you are good enough; it’s a question of whether you are courageous enough to ask your question. It’s a question of whether you can face your fear and do what most people are not prepared to do. It’s a question of whether you are happy to settle for second best and put up with mediocrity. Your whole life and your success come down to you.
I don’t just dish out this sometimes-confronting advice I also live it. I asked my tough question two weeks ago and got a yes. I never expected that to happen and was certain the answer would be no. I somehow thought that what I was asking for was unreasonable.
As it turned out, I probably would have got the same answer if I had of asked it years ago. That’s the beauty of life. Who knows what could have happened if you’d asked your burning question sooner. Hopefully, now you realise that you need to go out asap and get this question off your chest.
Stop wondering and start taking action. Only then will you get to experience that wonderful feeling that I am having right now as I type these words. That feeling of being just one step closer to the life you have dreamt of while being grateful for where you are right now.
What’s holding you back from asking your tough question? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
It’s What You Do On A ‘Bad Day’ That Matters.
Last Friday was a bad day for me. I woke up late, missed the gym and didn’t meditate.
None of this was intentional.
I then turned my computer on to do what I do every day: blog. I was not prepared for the whirlwind that followed.
As I opened up my social media channels, there were a lot more than usual, direct messages. I started reading each one and they were from colleagues and friends who wanted to warn me that I had a large amount of hate-fuelled comments on social media. I’m usually pretty good at dealing with hate comments. Not on that day, though — I was having a ‘bad day.’
I turned off the computer and didn’t respond to anybody. In the same week, I’d been told I was now a LinkedIn Top Voice for 2018.
I should have been celebrating and I didn’t because I didn’t feel worthy. If anything, I wanted to give up there and then. Luckily I didn’t follow through with any of these ideas. I knew it was just noise in my awful day.
I went away to sit on the couch and think about what I’d just read. Without really thinking about what I was going to do for the rest of the day, I began thinking about my team at work. There were several leadership challenges that I had to solve.
One was from a customer that was being abusive to female staff. Another was a rejection I had to deliver to someone that wanted to work with us. The hardest part about delivering the rejection was that I’d already said yes.
Despite the day being bad, I made a fundamental decision — to keep doing what I do and not stop. I said to myself “How can I inspire people while simultaneously solving both these challenges?”
I’m a big believer that it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you do. Talk is cheap. I came up with a bold plan to address both challenges.
I was going to do something that made me see the good in the people involved.
Even if the people in both situations had let me down, I was going to assume they were still good.
I concocted a plan to help both people and try and show them a more positive way to move forward. If I break down the plan, it was about being an inspiration in both situations.
I didn’t feel like being inspiring.
It was not the day to be inspiring.
But it was the only way I could motivate myself to finish off this bad day and wake up the next morning fresh. It’s funny how a good nights sleep takes away all the pain and negativity from the day before.
So, by the end of the day, I enabled both plans. I set out to release inspiration in both scenarios and that was my only focus. I didn’t look at anymore hate fuelled comments or go near social media.
On that bad day last Friday, my actions helped me keep moving forward and not give up.
It’s not about necessarily seeing the good in your bad day.
I’ve read this sort of advice heaps, but it requires a lot of willpower.
“Using your actions to make the day better rather than trying to think your way out of your bad day seems to be a lot easier to implement”
It’s not about the bad day.
Bad days will happen.
It’s what you do on a bad day that determines if you’ll feel the full effect of all the negativity that can potentially knock you out like a Tsunami that comes your way when all you wanted to do was lay on the beach and soak up some sun.
I’ve learned to find situations during a day that’s not working out well for me, to do something good, and often that’s not something that benefits me. If I was to look at it another way it would be “How do I not focus on my own bad day?”
Trying to make someone else’s day good distracts you from your own bad day.
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This Is How An Ordinary Person Can Make Their Country Better.
Someone asked on the internet how they can make their country better.
They considered themselves ordinary and felt that they had to be someone special to make a difference in their country, India.
Their question made me feel a bit emotional because I can relate. I too have also dreamt of making my country better.
The most common answer to this question is to get involved in politics.
Many of you reading this find politics really boring including me. I’ve learned through my own experience that politics is not the only way you can make your country better.
Here’s how you can make your country better:
Use your voice
When I was faced with the question “How do I make my country better?” I decided to use my voice.
It was this decision that changed everything. I spent every day using my voice to stand for something. I wanted to inspire the world through entrepreneurship and personal development.
So, I started using my voice by posting on LinkedIn. I used my voice and transcribed it into words to tell the citizens of my country what I think they needed to hear.
Using your voice is incredibly scary at first. As soon as you start sharing your thoughts, many people will say nothing. You’ll get almost no feedback. As your voice starts to get louder over time (probably years) the opposite will happen and you’ll attract trolls and critics.
The hardest part about using your voice is having the courage every day to use it and not being obsessed with the outcome.
By using my voice online through blogging and LinkedIn, I managed to get a 35,000 person bank to start talking about my ideas with staff and customers, and I was voted LinkedIn Australia’s Top Voice that year.
Using the power of your voice is the number one way you can change your country.
It’s in your experiences, ideas and thoughts that you can find what it is that can help your country.
In my country, Australia, we are quite well off, but we still lack a positive mindset. Some of us work jobs we hate and we like things that only money can buy. There’s a competition to get the biggest house or the most expensive car.
It’s not a problem everyone in Australia suffers from, but it’s widespread. I believe by using my own voice to inspire people to seek alternatives, I can change my country.
The results thus far suggest I’m well on the way to changing my country.
Changing your country seems like a huge task. It sounds like something only a Nelson Mandela sort of fella can achieve. That’s not true.
A simple understanding of the power of kindness can change your country.
There was this guy I read about online that changed his country by giving out free hugs because he couldn’t run in the local marathon. He embraced his kind nature and ended up impacting millions of people in his country.
Being kind is infectious because we’re wired to do it. When we see one person be kind, we want to do the same.
The problem in my country (and many others) is that we’ve sacrificed kindness for greed.
We’ve let our country’s economy become the most important factor instead of measuring the way we treat people and the ability of a country’s nation to overcome adversity together.
Kindness is so important because every one of our countries will face adversity, and kindness is the solution to that inevitable problem.
Pick up the trash
This one seems even smaller in impact. It’s not.
I found that by picking up the rubbish I saw in places like my apartment lobby, I was able to show myself that I care about my country.
When we care about our country, we choose to make it look beautiful so others can enjoy it. Something simple like picking up the trash can take you a long way towards helping your country.
Every country has an environmental problem and picking up rubbish can help solve it. If we all picked up one piece of trash, then each of our country’s would be a hell of a lot cleaner.
Don’t think you can’t make your country better
A lot of what I’ve learned, by trying to make my own country better, has come from the belief that I can have an impact.
There are so many people who want to do nothing more than complain which wastes time and energy and doesn’t make anyone’s country better.
The way you make your country better is by believing you can and taking one or two small actions to start the process.
The people that change their country believe they can.
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