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4 Reasons It’s Okay To Let People Down

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One of the biggest struggles of everyday life is the fear of letting people down. We all want to impress our friends, colleagues or boss’s and be able to meet their every request – the reality is you can’t. That’s why you need to change your thinking about how you deal with all the requests you get.

Success is not about keeping everyone happy it’s about focusing your time and energy on the things that make you happy and that you are passionate about. The tasks that you do say yes to should be directly aligned with your purpose and everything else should be secondary.

To achieve any significant success, you need to be disciplined and not get distracted. If you don’t start getting used to letting people down, then you are going to experience what I am going through right now. In my own life, I have said yes to lots of tasks and very few of them align with my purpose.

After listening to Derek Sivers being interviewed by Tim Ferriss, I have decided only to say yes to things that make me say “Hell Yes.” If the request doesn’t meet this criteria or I have to think about it too long then from now on I am saying no and you should do.

Below are my four reasons why it’s okay to let people down.

 

1. There are times when you stuff up

Part of accepting that you are going to let people down is acknowledging that you will stuff up. What I mean by this is that you will agree to do something and then completely mess it up. Now I have a great example of this to share with you.

Recently I interviewed a well-known entrepreneur and the interview went pretty well. A few days later I went to listen back to the interview and discovered that due to an update with my Apple software, the auto-record button was not selected and so nothing got recorded.

I mean I studied sound engineering for four years and I stuffed up the most basic rule of recording. Yes, I am an idiot and yes I was overloaded at the time. I had a decision to make so I went back to the interviewee and told them the honest truth and gave them three possible solutions to fix it. The option they chose was for me to write an article off another interview they did.

So, one weekend, I gave it a crack and discovered that it just wasn’t working and I had to do the interview again (quality is important and it’s not worth compromising). Needless to say, the interviewee who was previously very responsive, stopped replying to me via all communication channels.

So the lesson here is quite simple; as much as you can be an expert in something there are times when you are going to stuff up. It happens to all of us and if you upset someone because of it, then that’s a problem on their side, not yours. It’s okay and there is always a lesson to be learnt.

 

2. You can’t satisfy every request

Between working with fast-moving tech companies, my own person interests, blogging, etc. I don’t physically have the time to say yes to everyone. This also goes for you too! I am now starting to use more of a gut feeling and if I find a decision about saying yes is taking too long, then I now say no.

This is because I have noticed that when we overthink something, it’s usually because it doesn’t directly align with our purpose or because we don’t want to let someone down. Lately, I have been getting lots of requests via social media to do articles, interviews, events and so on.

One recent request I had was to do an interview for another website. I like to give every request a look into and be respectful of the other person for taking the time to contact me. When I researched the website, I saw that it was covered in spelling errors and that the subject of choice was not something I was an expert on. For these reasons I declined.

The other person was quite upset with me but I realised that even though you want to keep all of your fans happy you just can’t. I have said yes to a few social media requests recently and that’s because they were aligned with my passion and what I want to be known for.

In your personal life or business, you should look at saying no and letting people down in a similar way.

“Ask yourself, is this request something that will help fulfil me and bring me a step closer to my vision?”

 

3. Other people say no all the time

Don’t feel guilty about letting people down as other people do it all the time. In fact, they probably do it more than you. This doesn’t mean that you should always let people down and not care, but it does mean that on those few rare occasions when you do, it’s okay.

One attribute that I have seen and respected with a lot of successful people is their ability to say no and not be apologetic about it. You have to start to believe that your time is just as important as a worldwide celebrities time.

With this belief, you also have to come to grips with the fact that perfection in whatever you are trying to achieve will never happen. Other people are not perfect and neither are you. Other people say no and it’s okay for you to do the same in a respectful way (don’t be rude about it ever).

 

4. The other person may not be committed

Commitment is something that you should consider before you let someone down. Ask yourself, is the other person really committed to the task you are being asked to do? Without overdoing the stories I have about my interview escapades, recently another interview for Addicted2Success fell over.

I was 100% committed to it and did all my preparation. The first time I dialled into Skype and the other person did not show up. I waited for twenty minutes and then disconnected the call and sent a polite email. This same scenario then happened two more times in a matter of weeks.

I then had to make a decision, do I keep trying to do the interview or do I not proceed any further? When looking at the situation, I realised that clearly the person was not that interested in doing the interview as each time they just forgot and there wasn’t a good reason.

When commitment is lacking it’s okay to let people down and walk away. You are doing them a favour and they just don’t have the heart to tell you that they don’t want to work together with you.

What are some things you have decided to say no to? Share them in the comment section below or on my Facebook and Twitter.
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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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