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4 Quick Tips to Overhaul Your Mindset With Ease

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how to change your mindset
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Changing your mindset for the better can be deep work, taking hours of time journaling, meditating, and doing all of the other self-care things that can profoundly change your life forever. But there are also powerful ways to shift your mindset that don’t take a month of chanting in Tibet.

Here are a few quick tips you can use to overhaul and manage your mindset when setting aside an hour or more isn’t an option:

Tip 1: Change Your Perspective

Changing your perspective isn’t always easy, but it’s the most important step in shifting your mindset. Think of it as the decision that creates a turning point in your life. This was the #1 skill of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Every time something didn’t go her way or someone told her no, she adjusted her perspective on the situation, formulated a plan to reach her goals, believed in herself, and went after it! You can do this too!

While it’s not always easy, choosing to see your situation differently changes everything—which can be exactly what you need to create forward momentum. The best part? It only takes a moment to change your perspective, and once you see the opportunities on the other side of that shift, you can’t un-see them. It’s like those two-in-one pictures where you see an old lady until you see the profile of the beautiful woman. Once you know both options are there, you can choose which one you want to focus on.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

Tip 2: Acknowledge Your Wins

Whenever you’re faced with a challenge, it’s easy to feel like a failure or like everything’s going wrong. The biggest reason for that is because you are biologically wired to remember and react to the bad things in life more potently than the good things. It’s a survival mechanism. Now that you don’t have to run from bears and remember not to steal their berries when you’re hungry anymore, your negative emotions are stimulated from a more psychological place.

So to keep you out of an emotional tailspin when you feel one coming on, track and actually look at the wins you’ve had. Whether you keep a file on your computer or you keep a box filled with trinkets to remind you of your successes, it’s important to refocus on what you’ve done well to regain your faith in yourself to move forward when things are hard.

Tip 3: Be Intentional

By being more intentional, you create the mental and emotional space you need to be grounded, clear, and open. It’s the difference between surpassing your goals, like winning a new contract, and finding yourself on the couch bingeing the latest season of The Bachelorette wondering what the hell happened. Your intentions set you up for success, and the more intentional you are, the more you win. Here’s why…

Intentions calm your mind and create a space for you to think through things. You’re able to consider options and outcomes you’d otherwise miss, so you can make the most of them. By inserting more intentional practices in your day, you find seamless ways to win.

For example, on a typical morning, you might wake up after hitting snooze five times, drag your feet to the bathroom, stand in front of your closet for 15 minutes (there’s nothing to wear again!), and then either run out the door late or plop in front of the computer five minutes before your meeting starts (you’re not using video anyway, right?).

But if you were being intentional, your morning would look more like this…you wake up excited for the day on the first alarm because today, you got the sleep you needed and you prepped for the morning. You slip on the clothes you picked out last night, you calmly eat your avocado toast while sipping a coffee, and then, with 20 minutes to spare, you’re ready for your day.

“Every single moment shapes our future. Be intentional. Live on purpose.” – Brian Tracy

Tip 4: Love On Yourself

Sometimes, all you need is a little TLC—but in order to know how to love on yourself, you need to be able to recognize the ways in which you feel the most loved and appreciated. Check out the “Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman to discover how you most receive love. The five love languages he acknowledges are acts of service (having nice things done for you), quality time (deep, long talks), tangible gifts, words of affirmation (saying nice things), and physical touch.

Here are some examples for self-loving according to the five love languages:

Acts Of Service: This could look like doing the little things for yourself, like making the bed, keeping the dishes done, or other things that reduce stress on you. It can also look like participating in a charity or doing something nice for someone you care about. If you choose to do an act of service for someone else, remember to take the time to appreciate yourself for having chosen that activity.

Quality Time: This could look like taking time to sit in nature, take a bath, or journal—something that allows your inner voice to come out and be heard. This can also be doing something you love that lights you up, like making art, racing cars, or working out. The idea is to choose an activity or practice that gives you the space to clearly hear and process your own thoughts and emotions.

Tangible Gifts: This could look like getting yourself that pair of shoes you really wanted or the watch that’s been on your wishlist for three years. This is all about allowing yourself to receive and celebrate the experience of receiving.

Words Of Affirmation: This could look like standing in front of the mirror, looking yourself in the eye, and giving yourself 10 honest compliments — or writing out five things you’re proud of this week.

Physical Touch: This could look like choosing fabrics that feel really good against your skin or getting an at-home massager you use on your hands after typing all day. The idea here is to be intentional so you can process any thoughts, emotions, or beliefs that come up so you can strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.

You don’t need to have the next best self-care ritual, all you need is to care for yourself by caring about yourself, your needs, and your desires.

Celeste Rains-Turk is a best-selling author, speaker, NASM certified personal trainer, NPC bikini competitor, and mindset strategist working with women and bikini competitors to master their relationship with food so they can build more than just a body, using the Peace Through Growth Process™. Celeste uses her more than 5 years of experience in nutrition, psychology, fitness, and leadership to educate, inspire, and support women to shift their mindset, self-image, confidence, and eating patterns so they can eat, think, and live with more freedom, awareness, and fulfilment. Her genius has earned praise from Team Elite Physique head coach, Adam Bonilla, and been featured on media outlets and stages around the world, including AJ Mihrzad's Online Super Coach Podcast & Seminar, Thrive Global, Spotlight Magazine, and more. If you want to learn more about conscious eating and mindset, click here to get your copy of Celeste’s Mindset Card Deck for competitors.

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Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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