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4 Handy Decision-Making Tips To Make Your Life Better

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Decisions when I want it all.

The decisions you make, and don’t make, make you. Think about it. Did you make the call or make the excuse? Stay or leave? Stand up for your values or act timid? Play victim or take control? Settle for mediocrity or commit to higher standards and achieving meaningful success?

Let’s face it, you are where you are in life because of the decisions you have made leading up to this point. And with every new life decision you weigh, no matter how seemingly trivial, your destiny hangs in the balance.

Lucky for us humans, we’ve been gifted the most high-powered decision-making tool this planet has ever seen, a conscious mind. Still, we must be sure to use it appropriately if we wish to make better decisions and improve the quality of our lives.

Here are 4 handy decision-making tips to make your life better:

1. Trust your own mind

Before all else, you must gain confidence in your ability to think mindfully. When you distrust your own mind, you are mentally passive, thus not engaging the full capacity of your greatest resource.

In other words, a conviction to trusting your own mind inspires consciousness. And consciousness is the highest manifestation of human life. Without it, we make decisions in the dark—blind to the many key factors, both internal and external, required for an optimal decision.

To trust your own mind is to acknowledge other people and factors in the environment, but not let them do your thinking for you! Make your decisions consciously, with confidence that whatever you decide, in the end you will make the best of it.

“To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals—to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be—and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.” – Nathaniel Branden

2. Don’t ask how, ask why

If you’re like most people, you make your life decisions backwards. First, you brainstorm how each choice could be carried out, lean toward what appears to be more feasible, and then invent reasons why that choice is the best solution.

However, when making important decisions, the brain relies on something called fluency heuristics—it assigns higher value to an idea it can process faster.  This means that if we always begin by asking how, we always end up choosing the option that requires the least effort, which often results in inaction.

For example, when deciding if you should take a chance and pursue a true desire, or remain complacent in a place you truly hate, your brain will convince you the latter as the better option because it’s “safer” and “more comfortable”—when in reality, nothing can be further from the truth.

Ask yourself why each choice should be implemented rather than how it might be implemented. Be biased toward the choice that may bring you closer to your aspirations, rather than what appears to have the most straightforward course.

Our why is the most powerful motivator we have to initiate purposeful action. And only after we’ve determined our why, can we truly engage our creativity and come up with an effective plan of action.

3. Put your values to work

Want to know the secret to bypassing the internal tortures that comes with making tough life decisions?  Simply know what’s most important to you. Or better yet, know what’s most important to you achieving your destiny. And leverage it!

Once you realize your personal values, set them as your standard operating query. Let them be your personal compass guiding every life decision you need to make.  Always opt for the choice that stands up for your values. This can make delicate decision-making pure and simple. If a choice conflicts with your order of values, don’t choose it. It doesn’t get easier than that.

As a matter of fact, this is precisely how one shapes his or her character, builds self-esteem, and instills a sense of certainty and inner peace indecisiveness could never produce.

“The key is taking responsibility and initiative, deciding what your life is about and prioritizing your life around the most important things.” – Stephen Covey

4. Stop asking questions

The wisdom you uncover by asking yourself empowering questions during moments of indecisiveness is evident. Quality questions are arguably the most effective means we have for evaluating a life decision.

But there’s a dark side. Your dreams, goals, and grand plans are worthless if you let yourself continue to only ask questions. While everyone else ponders and evaluates, it is ultimately the one who takes action that reaps the benefits.

They say no decision is the worst decision. And opportunity does not wait. If you fail to make a decision and act, success may be lost forever.

There comes a point where evaluation becomes procrastination. And in the end it is your responsibility to recognize this, trust your own mind, affirm your whys, leverage what’s important to you, and start doing your decision.

Which one of these are you going to implement into your life today? Leave your thoughts below!

Brandon Villano is a computer programmer turned mind mastery geek. He is the founder of IntroShift.com, a blog dedicated to cognitive enhancement and mindset development. Brandon has a passion for exploring the infinite power of the human mind and applying that power to fuel greater success and higher quality of life.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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