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4 Ways to Eliminate Negative Emotions

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negative emotions

For most people, negative emotions feel like a scary monster under the bed. You try to ignore the monster by hiding your face under the covers, but the more you try to avoid it, the larger and scarier the monster becomes and your imagination keeps churning out an awful image as you desperately try to pretend he’s not lurking in the shadows.

You’d love to confront the monster, but it’s just too scary. That’s the way most people feel about negative thoughts. They want to slay the monster and make it never come back to them, but they feel terrified, hopeless, and outclassed.

You have read self-promising guides that teach you exactly how to kill this scary monster, but after applying every tidbit that the guide teaches you, it feels like it’s working and then soon after, here’s the monster looming about again and showing his personality, whenever you’re in a negative mood.

You know things can’t keep going on this way, one way or another something has to change. Relax. It’s all going to be okay. What you need is a super clear, easy to read guide, that will help you learn how to use your mind to remain calm and stay positive whenever you’re angry or in a negative mood.

Here are 4 ways to eliminate those negative emotions:

1. Take Responsibility

The fastest and most dependable antidote that totally cures negative emotions is to immediately say “I am responsible”, whenever something happens that triggers anger or a negative reaction of any kind.

80% of the population never accepts complete responsibility for their life. Most people keep complaining, making an excuse, criticizing, and continues blaming others for the things in their life about which they are not happy.

People don’t want to accept responsibility; people spill hot coffee on themselves and sue the restaurant that sold them the hot coffee in the first place.People get drunk, drive off the road, and then proceed to sue the manufacturer of the twelve year old car they were driving.

The question most people ask in any negative situation is, whose fault is it? And the bitter truth is that nobody really wants to accept blame. So they end up blaming others. But if you want to be happy, get unstuck, and be at peace with everyone, you have to be willing to take responsibility instead of blaming others and that’s by saying “I am responsible” for neutralizing the feelings of negativity.

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln

2. Use Your Intelligence

Ever heard of the old Indiana story? “On my shoulder are two wolves, one is a black wolf, evil, who continually tempts me to do and say the wrong things. On my other shoulder is a white wolf, good, that continually encourages me to take responsibility and live up to my very best.”

The listener asks the old man, “which one of these wolves has the greatest power over you? The old man replied, “the one I feed.” The law of substitute says you can substitute a negative thought for a positive one. But here’s the deal, your mind is allowed to hold one thought at a time, and the choice is yours to use your intelligence in giving you the chance to rule your state of your mind.

Whenever there’s a negative situation, simply affirm the words, “I choose to be positive”. No matter what happens, your life is being controlled by the things you allow to drive your emotions and purpose. So stop feeding the negative creature and start feeding the positive one.

3. Never Complain

Yes. You read that right, never complain, even if it feels like nothing’s going right. Make decisions in your life today that you will never again be upset or angry over the things you cannot affect or change.

When Jesus Christ was in the world, some parts of the bible said that every time people would try to provoke him to anger, he would reply to them with peaceful words and actions and then move on.

You must learn how to take control of every situation in your life, instead of blaming others for the wrongs, accept the situation and look for a peaceful way to power through it. Forgive yourself for the past, learn how to let things go and move on. Helen Keller said, “when you turn toward the sunshine, the shadow falls behind you.” You can only affect people positively if you are a product of positivity.

4. Get Yourself Busy

Here’s an old saying, ‘the devil only uses idle hands for evil work.’ Most people tend to respond to a negative situation because at that moment they’re idle or depressed. If you want to get rid of negative emotions, get yourself busy working toward your goals and things that matter to you, so that you don’t have any time to think about or respond to any negative emotion from anyone.

Rather than getting stuck and becoming unhappy, set important goals for yourself every day and take positive action toward achieving each goal. Your ability to exert self-discipline and willpower in the acceptance of personal responsibility for your life will help you take complete control of your thoughts and feelings.

By doing so, you’ll become a much more effective, happy, and positive person in everything you do. Resolve today to accept 100% responsibility for everything you are and everything you become.

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” – Denis Waitley

Select one person in the past with whom you are finding it hard to forgive and resolve to forgive that person completely for what happened. Doing this will liberate you emotionally.

Accept the full responsibility for your financial problem and refuse to blame anyone for your financial situation, instead take the step to resolve the situation. Accept full responsibility for your health and start doing whatever is necessary to attain excellent health. Start flexing your muscles today to peacefully attend to all things you have accepted responsibility for and see how positive you’ll become.

How do you stop negative emotions when they present themselves? Leave your thoughts below!
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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Andrew Loader

    Jan 6, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    I really enjoyed this post. I was reading it on a bad morning, after a huge fight with a friend, in a week where I had received very little income. Hence I was quite down. Yet this post has really resonated with me. I do to take more responsibility for what’s happening in my life. I can’t blame others for my own actions, or my financial situation. I’m already quite good at planning, but I do need to get my act together putting my plans into action. And yes, I really should begin to forgive some of those I’ve blamed in the past, and leave bad feelings in the past too.

    I know I’ve read this post a couple of weeks after it was written, but it was perfect timing for me.

  2. Charles emmanuel

    Dec 21, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Cephas, thanks for this post and am particularly in love with the quote you use “The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” – Denis Waitley you are one of the most inspiring writers i,ve seen. keep it up
    just shared

  3. Nellie

    Dec 18, 2016 at 12:57 am

    I love love love this! So completely what I needed today. A situation that has been troubling me lately and I can’t stop ruminating about has me so unhappy. I am taking responsibility! I am choosing to be happier. Thank you so much. Well done!

    • Cephas Tope

      Dec 21, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      Am happy to hear that Nellie,

      Thank’s so much!

  4. Ewen Munro

    Dec 18, 2016 at 12:32 am

    Great post, Cephas! 3. is a good indicator of where a person is at, and really, it comes down to them to realize that they are in control of their situation and that they have to 1. Take Responsibility. Awesome stuff! 😉 #keepgrowing #keepcreating

    • Cephas Tope

      Dec 21, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      Thanks so much Ewen,

      Glad you find it valuable.

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3 Simple Hacks That Can Recharge Your Willpower and Help You Perform Better at Work

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How many times did you wake up feeling like you could conquer the world? You set ambitious goals for the day, you put on your best attire and walked out the door with a big smile on your face but eventually, life took over. Traffic, emails, work, family, and everything else you have around slowly but steadily started to drain your energy and made you feel exhausted.

You run out of battery, and the only solution that seemed viable was to rely on more caffeine. When that stopped working, all the temptations around you started to look much more appealing, and that sense of drive and commitment you had before slowly faded away. This is you running out of willpower.

Willpower: what is it? Why is it limited?

The American Psychology Association describes willpower as “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” In the book “The Willpower Instinct”, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, explains how every person’s willpower is limited, and slowly depletes throughout the day. The more “willpower challenges” you face, the quicker your reserve drains. Dr. McGonigal divided the different types of willpower challenges you might encounter in three categories:

  • I will: We face this type of challenge whenever we should do something, but we simply don’t feel like getting it done right now.
  • I won’t: We face this challenge when we try to resist temptation, or we try to keep cool in stressful situations.
  • I want: This is a particular type of challenge where we keep track of our long term goals, dreams, and desires. In this instance, we feel like we should take action right now to come one step closer to the goal. 

It’s easy to recognize it when you face a willpower challenge because you literally “feel it in your body.” Imagine being really hungry and walking in front of a bakery. The sight and the smell of pastries quickly triggers an “I won’t” type of challenge, and it takes a severe amount of effort and energy to walk away.

Every time you manage to win one of those challenges, a little bit of your willpower reserve gets used. The more challenges you face daily, the harder it will be to stay true to your goals.

Can you train or recharge your willpower?

A growing body of research suggests that willpower should be considered a muscle. To strengthen it, you should exercise it regularly, but you should not overwork it. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to “be good” at all times. Instead, we should learn how to relax and recharge our willpower.

The general advice on how to improve willpower involves sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. This broad and general recommendation is often not downright applicable by most, because it consists of changing various daily habits. Luckily, three very effective hacks have been discovered, that have an immediate effect on our willpower and take just a few minutes to apply.

Here are the 3 ways to refill your willpower reserves:

1. Focused breathing

Breathing, when done correctly, can stimulate the release of calming hormones while reducing the release of stress hormones like cortisol and catecholamines. To make this effective, you should deeply and slowly inhale through the nose for at least five seconds. Fill your belly with air first, then your chest, and when there’s no more space for air, still try to do tiny inhalations through the nose.

You should feel a pulling sensation around your neck and trapezius muscles. Once your lungs are full, try to hold the breath for five seconds, then slowly exhale through the mouth for at least five seconds. If you repeat this process ten to twenty times, you should feel dramatically more relaxed. Use this method several times a day, especially when you’re experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety.

2. Reward yourself when you accomplish a micro goal

According to a recent study, frequent instant rewards can boost motivation, and therefore, willpower. Creating your own reward system can help you to accomplish your to-do list, and also resist temptations. Since every individual has different tastes, you should come up with creative ideas about the small and frequent rewards you will give yourself upon winning any willpower challenge.

You can see this hack in practice in Apps like the popular Duolinguo, where after completing each lesson you get presented with a chance to open a treasure chest. This rewarding system seems to keep the users much more likely to keep learning new lessons.

3. Taking cold showers

Your body has an autonomic response to cold water. Getting into a cold shower is a difficult (but minor) willpower challenge on its own. As I previously mentioned, winning a willpower challenge strengthens your willpower muscle. Having a morning cold shower, on top of having multiple health benefits, will set you up for a positive winning streak of further challenges.

High performance is the sum of many small habits. Successful people don’t have an unlimited reserve of willpower, but they do have a set of daily rituals that made them succeed. These three hacks are some of the most effective techniques to develop willpower, but some of them may not fit every individual. You should try to find the perfect mix of daily practices that best fits your lifestyle and likes, so that you can strengthen your willpower muscle and perform better at work.

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