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The Psychology of a Habit and How You Can Change Them

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Humans have an inability to change; this is an argument that has been discussed for centuries and it is largely because of our tendency to be creatures of habit. Think for a moment your daily routine, if you are like 98% of human beings, your morning habits are relatively the same without any true variations from year to year. The other two percent are the very successful minded people that change their habits constantly to maximize their success in life.

The reason that humans stick to their bad habits for so long is because of many reasons; comfortability, fear of failure and the strength of a habit over time. Research shows that the longer the habit has been in effect, the harder it is to change. However, my goal is to articulate that human’s have the ability to change and become adaptable to any and all change simply by replacing an old thought habits with new and better ones.

Moreover, my goal is to persuade that humans don’t actually have an inability to change but rather they are masters of change because they can control their habits.

Understanding habits and How they’re formed 

Before one can change a habit, they must first know what they are, and how they are formed. A habit by definitions is, “a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance” (Merriam-Webster), moreover, a habit is formed simply by repetition.

Anything that you think and do over and over again becomes a habit and according to the University College London, it takes on average 66 days for a new habit to form. On paper this seems quite feasible, however, it is easier said than done because of our human nature to be comfortable. The human mind for over 500 plus years has repetitively been programed to think in black and white, meaning that we are taught to believe things are what they are instead of believing that they have the ability to adapt and change.

Because of this human bias, making new habits stick becomes challenging because the battle has to be won in the mind before it can be manifested to reality. Being aware of this human cognitive bias is crucial for creating the willpower necessary to change any habit you want; humans are not bounded to anything, yet because of thinking habits and our interpretation of them it often feels like we are.

“H is for Habit, winners make a habit of doing the things losers don’t want to do.” – Lucas Remmerswaal

Habits Are Consciously Started, And Subconsciously Finished 

The other conflict that gets in the way of creating new and better habits is the inability to consciously notices habits. Majority of people’s core beliefs and ideologies of the self were developed at a young age, before even having the ability to subjectively pick and choose what they wanted to believe, and also how to properly interpret the situation that occurred.

This is where memory plays an interesting role, our memory is often distorted based on the current mindset we have, meaning an event that once had no significance when it occurred, in a new context or mindset can have a purpose.

Thought habits that developed in adolescence, unless replaced with a better habit, probably still have an unconscious impact. How one can go about changing their thought process is by simply auto suggesting a thought of desire and training it like a habit, consciously sending positive thoughts to the subconscious mind.

An autosuggestion is a conscious thought sent to the unconscious mind. Because thoughts are impulses and have a vibration of frequency, doing this over and over again can create a new habit of thinking; the same way a habit is formed on a surface level it can also be formed on a chemical level as well. Knowing this is fundamental in fighting through the uncomfortable part of change.

Habits Are Not Changed, Only Replaced 

Additionally, in order to adapt to change quickly it is immensely important to know that old habits do not disappear, however, they are instead replaced by better ones. Habits cannot be easily replaced; the body and mind naturally know this and will at first resist.

It is believed that a lot of humans bad habits are caused by stress and boredom and these two elements directly affect the body and mind and its resistance to new habits. Because of this natural resistance, it has been assumed by the 98% of people that think that change doesn’t last leading them to resist it at all costs.

Giving these points, it is easy to see the challenges of replacing old habits and the reluctance of people to resist change, however, it is also clear that training new habits requires a time-tested method for adapting and creating all change. Human’s don’t have an inability to change and fascinatingly enough when aware of this, humans have a tendency to embrace change because they understand the process of creating change.

“The Habits that took years to build, do not take a day to change.” – Susan Powter

Change is a matter of patience, willpower and consistency practiced consciously for roughly 66 days, long enough for a habit itself to take over involuntary. This is important for humans to understand because the only difference between them and the person they are inspired to be are the habits they need to change.

What tips would you give someone to help them change a habit? Please leave your thoughts below!

Kyle Colley is a Junior Political Science major from Denver, Colorado who attends Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia. He is a freelance writer with the passion of inspiring people to manifest their passions and become multicultural. In 2016, Kyle became a co-founder of Read More Co. a forward-thinking company that uses fashion and books to promote the importance of reading. Read More Co. believes that reading intentionally with a goal in mind will lead its followers to success and happiness in any endeavor in their lives. You can find him on Facebook (Kyle Colley) or on Instagram.

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Knowing Your Message vs Delivering Your Message

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Have you ever sent a text message only to have it misinterpreted by the person reading it? Happens all the time. Have you ever given a presentation that you were totally prepared for only to have it fall flat? Happens all the time. Have you ever had someone ask you something like, “Why are you mad?” when you were not at all mad? Happens all the time. (more…)

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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Building a business is about more than sales, marketing, and flexing on social media. While those things tend to draw attention, they attract the wrong type of clients and are not how you build a sustainable and freedom-focused business. (more…)

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Practicing Self-Devotion: 3 Ways Towards a More Mindful and Compassionate You

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I can still hear the voices of my older relatives and my elementary school teachers telling me “be disciplined”, “keep at it”, to give time and energy towards what we want. As a young, impressionable child, I believed all those things because well, they made sense. They worked. And honestly, I felt like it’s the only way to flourish. (more…)

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