Life

Gratitude Will Change Your Attitude: Discover a New Life

Published

3 years ago

Jun 16, 2020

Image Credit: Unsplash

If you’d like to learn how to develop gratitude on a daily basis so you can be happy and live a great life, sign up for the free 90-Day Master Class hosted by the founder of Addicted2Success.com, Joel Brown.

When was the last time you showed some sort of gratitude in your life? I’m not referring to the ‘thank you’ you gave your partner for passing the mashed potatoes over Sunday roast. When was the last time you truly took a moment out of your busy schedule to acknowledge the blessings you were given in life?

If you haven’t in a while, you should know it’s good not only for your mental state but for your health. Gratitude has been scientifically shown to be good for the heart and nervous system, leading to positive changes in immune function and hormonal balance.

In life, many of us take a lot of things for granted. Little do we know, however, that millions of people are wishing for the same things you forget people do without.

What about your mood everyday? How many times would you reply with ‘not bad thanks’ when someone asks you how you are? You could be feeling great, yet your answer instills that something is missing in your life for you to be great.

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar

Likewise, we have evolved to get what we want when we want it and when we don’t, this puts a frown on our face. When we set expectations of any sort in life, the second they aren’t met can keep you stuck in a negative swirl of self-pity and negativity. It’s not your fault though. Society is somewhat to blame.

More specifically, the evolution of advertising and marketing campaigns are indirectly to blame for the most part. Advertising has become a part of our culture since the 1950’s, by targeting our needs and wants.

Our basic needs are supposed to satisfy food, water, warmth, and rest. We are supposed to be happy if these are met. Yet, advertising has made us need more than the basics to be satisfied.

The need for food isn’t satisfied unless it’s a Big Mac. The need for water isn’t satisfied unless it’s Evian. The need for warmth isn’t satisfied unless it’s a Tommy Hilfiger hoodie and the need for rest isn’t satisfied unless it’s a premium mattress.

Likewise with wants, you could own Hilfiger jeans, Nike shoes, and a Versace top, yet if a Rolex advertisement comes along, you’re going to forget all those things and focus on what you don’t have, the watch.

Same goes with all advertisements you come across day to day. They all make you think about what’s missing in your life. This thinking can cause you to form a pessimistic outlook on life.

Changing your attitude

How can I be happy? The answer is actually a choice we have the power to make. We can choose to be happy at any time. We aren’t, simply because we are so used to external gratifications to meet our needs and wants.

When we take a moment in our day to reflect and be grateful for what we already have in life, that’s when gratitude will change your attitude. As you stop focusing on what’s missing in your life and you spend a few minutes of gratitude each day, you’ll start noticing a powerful change in your life.

When you stop taking anything at all for granted, all experiences in your life will start being seen through a new lens. Even the negative situations in your life will be seen differently.

“Learn to be thankful for what you already have, while you pursue all that you want.” – Jim Rohn

Conclusion

Gratitude will change your attitude. As gratitude becomes a habit, it will become your predominant state of being. The more you radiate positive energy, the more you will attract positive experiences in your life.

It really is as simple as that. Most of us just don’t know the choice is ours, yet it is. Freedom begins by making the conscious decision to stop complaining and being negative.

Now, you will meet resistance and fall back into old thinking patterns quite frequently, but like all change, progress isn’t a linear process.

Persist with your daily gratitude habits each and every day and you’ll notice a stronger smell of roses with each passing day.

What are you grateful for today? Share it with us in the comments!

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Mathieu Ganado

Mathieu Ganado is a registered yoga instructor and owner of the Soul Habits blog, business brand and Facebook page. Having left a career in finance, having been published in local newspapers and magazines, Mathieu now enjoys writing, fitness and music.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

2 weeks ago

Jan 25, 2023

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

1. Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.

Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.

Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.

Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.

These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.

This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.

These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.

If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.