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3 Modern Diseases That Ruin Your Life And How To Avoid Them

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3 Modern Diseases That Ruin Your Life And How To Avoid Them

You might be wondering what modern diseases are. When you think of the term disease, pictures of ill people in a hospital come into your mind.

But what has this to do with me? I am completely healthy!” You keep wondering.

Modern diseases don’t necessarily affect your body and can’t make you ill by raising your body temperature. However they can have an indirect impact to your health.

They have the power to ruin your life more than anything but only if you let them do so. The fact is that you can have complete control over them, but if you fall in the temptation to relinquish control you will be beaten to the ground.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease” – Buddha

What are these modern diseases?

They are activities that affect your way of living in a negative way and are obstacles to everyone who wants to become successful in life.

These activities are:

  • Video games
  • Television
  • Social media

 

If these three are leveraged correctly they can give you a huge boost in your life and can be a really powerful tool, but only if you don’t fall in the trap of relinquishing control.

The technology expansion has given us amazing benefits and made our life much easier and more comfortable. However it has created activities that enslave our brains and make us live like zombies. Zombies which don’t think, don’t take risks and don’t seek growth in life but only in a virtual reality.

Activities that distract us from finding our purpose in life and make us believe we are not great enough to break out of homeostasis.

If you still believe that video games, television and social media can offer you benefits, make you more productive and improve your life’s quality then try to find someone who is really successful and you will be astonished by the fact that he doesn’t spend time in these worthless activities.

I don’t know any successful person who achieved his goals and spent more than half an hour per day watching the latest popular series in TV or killing dragons in his Xbox.

 

1. Video games

After many years of spending unlimited hours in video games and staying in front of a digital reality world from morning to night (with breaks only for food and WC) I came to the conclusion that I have lost a ton of precious time.

I would give everything to have that time back. Unfortunately when your life goes away it never returns and never forgives you. It doesn’t care about how you spend it, it just goes away. When you realize that it’s gone, it might be too late.

Fortunately for me, I have realized it soon enough in my life and that’s the reason I want to share this with as many people as possible because making that realization when you are 40 or 50 will destroy you. You won’t be able to handle the repressed emotions, you won’t be able to turn back the time and do all the things you didn’t do.

Some people might say that video games offer entertainment. Some might say that video games are proven to improve mind and reflective. Even if this is true, these little benefits aren’t worth your TIME . You could do a million things that have a huge positive impact on yourself instead of killing monsters or playing football in front of a TV screen.

You spend all your time in front of a reality world and then you keep wondering why your life is so miserable, why your girlfriend dumped you for somebody else or why you don’t have money and need to live with your parents.

But why are you wondering? The only person who has control over your life is you and by relinquishing that control you let circumstances ruin your life’s quality.

 

2. Television

Okay, not all TV programs are terrible and time-wasting. You can find shows or movies which are entertaining and give information. Unfortunately the majority of TV shows are crap and don’t offer anything at all. They are a total waste of time.

There was a period in my life that I could spent 4-5 hours per day watching TV. I have spent an entire summer in front of a TV screen watching worthless shows and movies instead of going to the beach and enjoying my life.

When I rewind those moments my feelings are mixed. I feel so ashamed about myself 5 year ago but I also feel so proud for me today. I don’t watch television at all, I don’t even have a TV at home and if I want to see a movie I simply watch it online.

Television has a major disadvantage. You don’t have many choices about what you can see. You just open it, search the 4-5 best channels and check what they have to show you. On the other side internet provides countless information and choices.

At least you have the ability to choose what you will see instead of opening the TV and being fed up with the program that X or Y channel decided to show at 6pm. Does this mean that you can’t get lost in the internet? Of course not, but at least you have a little more control over your choices.

Fred Allen has said that “Television is the triumph of machines over people” and he was completely right. Do you know how awesome it feels when you stop brainwashing yourself with stupid TV shows?

You instantly have 3 to 5 free hours to spend on yourself by exercising, reading a book, starting a new hobby or just sleeping. You have more time to socialize, meet new people and do something meaningful with your life. You aren’t a slave to TV anymore.

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

3. Social media

The growth of social media in the last decade was astonishing. The internet was flooded with millions of people full of narcissism and insecurities trying to validate themselves through a social profile where they showcase their experience, beauty and life.

Social media can be a really great tool to communicate, connect and meet new people or even help your business grow. They have a great power, but you have to use them in the right way. If you let them control your life then you have lost the game. How do you know that you have let them control your life?

When you go for a drink with your friends and the only thing you can remember from that night is that Becky liked your profile picture at 2.20 am or the “check in” you did on Facebook at 3.00 am with title “having amazing fun with my buddies“.

Sure, you had amazing fun. That’s why you spent almost all the night scrolling down your social profile timeline. You know that you have let them control your life when you are continuously checking your smart phone and the only thing you care about is how many people liked or shared your photo.

When you eat dinner with your family and instead of talking with them you check your snapchat updates. Or when you don’t have something productive to do and you decide to kill your time on Instagram. That’s how it is when you let social media control your life.

 

How to take control of your life:

Many people suffer from addictions to these three “modern diseases” and can’t find a way to take back control over their lives. It’s easy to give advice like “come on, just shut down the TV” or “the only thing you have to do is to close the video game” but it’s not so simple.

When you are deeply addicted, both emotionally and pshycoligically it’s so difficult to disconnect and just close the video game or simply shut down the TV. That disease doesn’t let you grow and keeps you static and mediocre.

Take control of your life

Personal growth occurs because of two reasons:

Think about it. When is it easier to run faster? When you know that if you run fast enough you will win $10,000 or if your life is threatened and you know that if you run fast enough you will save your life.

In both cases you will run, but the second case is a tragedy and is more likely to force you to succeed and run fast enough to win. The only way to cut these worthless activities and regain control over your life is by creating a tragedy.

How are you doing that? Easier said than done but you have to:
  • Delete all your data in the video game.
  • Sell your TV or video game.
  • Throw your video game/TV out of the window or break it down(though it’s more profitable to sell it)
  • Delete your social media accounts.

These might sound a bit extreme but the only way to stop doing something is by not having the ability to do it. When are you more likely to binge eat and gain weight? When you have a kitchen full of biscuits, sweets and chocolates or when you have a kitchen full of fruits and vegetables? If you don’t have the ability to do something then you will end up not doing it.

When I moved to my new house I noticed that I didn’t spend time watching TV because I haven’t bought a new TV yet. This saved me 2-3 hours per day and I ended up never buying a new TV because I realized the time-saving benefit. 

If you find yourself in a situation where your life sucks and your dreams fly away, then modern diseases are probably ruining your life. Sell your TV, video game, burn it or break it down. Delete all your data from your social profiles. Just get rid of them completely. That’s the only way to take back control of your life.

 

What’s your experience with modern diseases? Do you believe they have a negative or positive impact on your life? Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Damian is the owner of DareandConquer.com, a blog dedicated to help people go from mediocre to exceptional. You can download his FREE E-Book to learn how you can become more disciplined, focused and beat procrastination.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Sammy Blackmore

    Oct 17, 2016 at 1:15 am

    This is really a great read. As for me, I have completely eliminated watching TV news and shows cos of the extremely biased media and stupid shows.

  2. Rondol

    Oct 13, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    This is a great article Damian, I do believe that these 3 “modern diseases ” play a major role in preventing people from being successful in life. I don’t play video games, I hardly watch TV and I’m breaking into the habit of using Facebook two time per week. I mainly use Facebook to listen to inspirational videos.

  3. Lynn

    Oct 13, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Social media has made us anti-social. I enjoy these type of sites, and the physical fitness ones. So easy to overdo it. Moderation is how YOU manage the beast.

  4. Steve

    Apr 8, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    I couldn’t disagree more. I watch all the TV I want, play video games when I want and if it wasn’t for social media I wouldn’t have read this (I guess that is an argument for getting rid of social media haha) and I am highly successful and very happy. I stumbled on your site via Twitter and have enjoyed most of what I have read but this is just way off base. I say do what makes you happy.

  5. Heather

    Jun 22, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Love it! I hate video games, and very rarely watch TV. I do use social media in my business promotions though, so that was the main one I struggled with, as I often found personal social media creeping into professional social media time. So, I took the apps off my phone (so I have to be sat in front of my Mac working to access them) and I block off specific time during the day to check my social media. And like a charm, my life has become instantly less complicated and more productive.

    Great post – thanks!

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 23, 2015 at 9:07 am

      Hey Heather, I have to thank you for adding to the discussion with your experience. Do you use any app to block social media sites for certain period of time during the day?

  6. Kwing

    Jun 18, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Hey this is a really nice article! I do collect and play video games but I only play around 2 hours on a saturday weekend. I just play to release the tension from the week’s hard work and to refresh myself. 🙂

    You were right, there were people who don’t go out anymore and they only spend their time playing games. There are plenty of great stuff that we can do with our time!

    If only they can transfer their time I’d be super glad to receive it! 🙂

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 18, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      Hey kwing, thanks for adding to the discussion.

      It’s great that you have self-control and play only in the weekends. Well done!

  7. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Like Andrew Carnegie said,

    “If you want to be happy, set a goal that
    commands your thoughts, liberates your
    energy, and inspires your hopes.”
    – Andrew Carnegie

    (replace “happy” with free from the bondage of time wasting pursuits)

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      Andrew Carnegie was a very wise man.This quote is pure gold and timeless even if it’s decades old.

  8. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Hey Damian,

    I went over to D&C, good stuff! I signed up, keep up the great work!

    Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. I agree, with you sometimes the extreme is necessary, like in the case of the alcoholic that may not have a social drink in light of the binge that would surely follow.

    We have a book called “Taming the Techno-Beast” that I have had our children read. It also deals with the life sucking nature of consuming your time with technology, written for children.

    After reading your post I am left thinking that these “modern diseases” are best brought under control by creating an even more compelling future than these pursuits offer. It’s always going to be more effective to replace your habits than STOP them. Throwing the stuff out is good and does “create tragedy” but – how many times do we resolve to stop a thing and find ourselves back at it before we know it? I’m sure it works for some people, however, my mind tells me, “you manufactured this tragedy, now give me back my stuff!”

    What works for me is to find greater pleasure in my future or I will find it instantly right NOW with games, stories, and social validation. If we track our progress toward our goals we find daily motivation and leverage game mechanics, thus replacing the need for games. To replace TV, we face challenges toward our goals which give us our own stories to tell or just entertain ourselves with instead of needing to live vicariously through others on TV. To need social validation less we find validation through achievement. This also is a function of game mechanics where we would count “likes” we see the measured progress, and viola validation!

    Thank you for the opportunity to respond, I hope this adds value to your discussion!
    Robb

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Hey Robb, thanks for your kind words.

      You are totally right about everything you said , throwing something out of our lives might not work sometimes if we don’t replace it with something else which should be obviously better. Throwing out a negative habit is just the first step.

      I have to say that this was an amazingly insightfull comment!

      • Robb

        Jun 15, 2015 at 4:48 pm

        Thank you Damian,
        Again, I appreciate the post as well.
        Robb

  9. Damian Pros

    Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

    Hey Usman,

    Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

  10. Fredrick Mutooni

    Jun 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    The three things you listed are exactly oposite of what your talking about. The first two listed as Video games and TV i have no commeents because i have no interest in either. However to say instagram is controlling you is wrong. Yrs back i could not talk to people outside my village. Now i do through social networks. If thats wrong then i let it be wrong but i love it

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:29 am

      Hey Fredrick,

      I totally agree with you. I agreed inside the article “Social media can be a really great tool to communicate, connect and meet new people or even help your business grow. They have a great power, but you have to use them in the right way”.

      BUT, it depends on HOW you use social media. You are probably using instagram the rigth way. But do you know how many people I see going out for a coffee or a drink with their friends and are scrolling down their instagram timeline instead of socializing with the real people they have in front of them?

      I also see young men in the university wasting time in instagram or facebook when they are in the classroom and they have lesson. Why are you going to the classrom in the first place then?

      I guesst you can see my point..Thanks for sharing your opinion!

      • Abel

        Jun 15, 2015 at 11:13 am

        Great article I believe millions of people in the western world fall victim of this disease unknowingly, in response to Fredrick I understand your point and it`s valid, but I think the author is speaking from a western perspective and his point is very valid and no one from this part of the world can disagree that these things will do you more bad than good. But I think it`s awesome you are able to connect with different people from your village.

        • Damian Pros

          Jun 15, 2015 at 1:07 pm

          Hey abel, as you correctly understood I was referring mostly to the western world. Nice observation.

  11. Damian Pros

    Jun 14, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    Hey lawrence,

    You are spot on about what you said. You don’t have to eliminate them completely but sometimes it’s difficult to find a balance between these activities and your goals. That’s why I suggested to eliminate them completely. Even if you are the most disciplined person in the world you can fall into the temptation and watch 2 hours TV instead of commiting to your goal.

  12. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 14, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    These are truly some things that have made people waste valuable time. They can be really addicting because they are fun to do, but you have to ask yourself, when you play video games or are watching television, are you really contributing to accomplishing your dreams. I don’t think you have to give up these things entirely because we all can use time to ourselves and our hobbies, but definitely limit the time spent doing these activities.

  13. Usman Mahmood

    Jun 14, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    Enjoyed reading this article especially where you highlighted that personal growth occurs because of two main reasons, which is so true. Definitely a good read for the younger generation because they often lose focus and motivation to pursue their goals because of these modern diseases.

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Hey Usman,

      Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

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Life

3 Simple Self-Communication Tips to Ensure You Set Yourself Up to Achieve Your Goals

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Do you ever wonder why some people seem to hit every goal they set, while others struggle to even take the first step towards their goals? The difference may be in the finer details of how the goal is being set.

Communication, whether with ourselves or with others, is critical in today’s society. When we are setting goals, we are communicating our wants and desires with our unconscious mind. Yet despite the importance of being able to communicate effectively, rarely are we ever taught how to communicate or what the meaning of communication is.

The majority of the population choose their words carelessly and assume that the recipient of that communication will understand what they meant.

We’re typically even more careless when it comes to communicating with ourselves, because our own brains should understand what we mean…right? Wrong. This is why 95% of the population never achieve their goals. This is why New Year’s Resolutions have a shelf life of 3-4 weeks.

We don’t communicate in words. For everything we say, the person we’re speaking to (including ourselves) gets an image in their head. How they interpret that image determines how they interpret what has been said to them. Allow me to demonstrate.

“I want to travel to an isolated beach and stay in a hut over the water for a week”. What picture do you have in your head? I’m guessing a beach, with a hut over the water. Pretty cool right? Here’s the thing, if we’re choosing our words carelessly, then we lack control over the picture that is created. This is a FATAL goal setting mistake.

Within our unconscious mind (the part of our mind that drives behaviour) is our filtering system, the Reticular Activating System, or RAS.

The RAS is like our internal GPS. When we set a goal, the RAS holds onto a picture of that goal and becomes like a homing device towards making it happen. How do you know you’re putting the right image into your RAS?

Here are 3 simple self-communication tips to ensure you set yourself up for success in achieving your goals:

1. Watch Your Mouth!

No, I don’t mean no swearing. The words we use when setting goals are critical to our success. There are certain words the unconscious mind processes in a negative fashion. The first word we need to remove from our vocabulary is “not” or any derivative of not (ie. don’t, can’t, etc). The unconscious mind is unable to process negatives.

Here’s an example. “Don’t think of a purple frog” What picture do you have in your head? A purple frog! When we use negatives in our communication, the unconscious mind has to get a picture of what we’ve said, then the conscious mind comes in and gives a new directive to picture. If we set a goal like “Don’t have any debt” or “I don’t want a partner who cheats on me” then we give the RAS a picture of what we don’t want. The RAS then sets out to find us what we don’t want as quickly and easily as possible. Instead focus on what you do want!

Another word to eliminate from your goal setting (and your vocabulary in general) is “try.” To the unconscious mind, try means “this isn’t important enough to commit to so I have an excuse to fail.” Anyone who “tries” to do anything rarely succeeds. Instead, remove your excuses and commit!

“Aim higher. Stay focused.” – Brandon Adams

2. Be specific!

We’ve all heard of setting SMART goals (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and timely). Being specific when communicating your goals is particularly important to the unconscious mind.

If the goal or end result is too ambiguous, the unconscious mind won’t be able to create a picture to move towards. In the absence of a specific picture, it will continue to move towards whatever beliefs or programming is already installed in the unconscious.

For example, setting a goal to be “financially free” won’t move the RAS into action. Instead, set a specific dollar amount you want to see in the bank! Paint a clear picture for your unconscious mind to grasp. It’s worth spending time creating this picture so it’s as clear as possible. You can even print out pictures if you need to!

3. Get Emotional!

Emotions drive our unconscious minds into action. If the goals you set aren’t making you emotional (in a good way) then you’re unlikely to take action. At the same time, if your current situation isn’t making you experience negative emotions, you also won’t be motivated to act.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins

There are two types of goals we can set – towards motivated goals and away from motivated goals.

Away from motivated goals are when the pain or discomfort of our current situation is so intense that we have to take action.

Think about people with unhealthy habits like smoking. When they witness someone close to them die, or they have a brush with death themselves, they can easily and quickly stop smoking. People who are overweight are typically spurred into action when they are unable to fit into their wardrobe anymore.

The problem with away from motivated goals is that the motivation only lasts while the pain or discomfort is present. It’s not uncommon for someone with a weight loss goal to completely lose motivation at the halfway point because the intensity of their situation no longer overwhelms them.

Towards motivated goals focus on a reward at the end creating a strong emotion such as pride, excitement or sheer bliss.

Examples include brides wanting to look slim in their wedding dress or people who reward themselves with cars or houses remain motivated to continue taking action towards their goal. This is because even once the pain of their current situation dissipates, they are still aiming for the emotion of the reward.

It’s ok to use pain to motivate you to take action, just make sure your goal also contains towards motivation and the emotions you’ll feel once you reach the goal.

Contrary to what Freud may have caused you to believe, our unconscious mind wants to help us get what we want! We just need to communicate effectively and give our GPS (aka the RAS) the proper information so it can find the fastest, easiest route to the future we truly want!

How do you set goals and make sure you hit them? Let us know your advice below!

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Life

Build Up Your Social Media Presence Using These Three Personal Powers

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Instead of being on defense when it comes to social media, show the world you mean business with respect, compassion and dignity. Ask anyone of your friends or online connections if they’ve found themselves going down a rabbit hole online and a bunch of them probably will say, “Yep, it happened just the other day.”

Everyone is trying to yank and pull for attention in the online space. People will go to great lengths for a few minutes of your precious time. Do you ever do an inventory of how much time you actually spend on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, and so on? I’d imagine for a lot of us, that the time inventory would be incredibly imbalanced.

There was a time many years ago where Facebook actually was all about staying connected to families and friends to hear about their successes and tough times. People shared births, anniversaries, new jobs, and deaths. These things were shared with others out of simply wanting to stay in touch.

Along the way, though, businesses and entrepreneurs found a way to get their products and services out through the use of social media. We’ve used it to launch programs, books, products, conferences…you name it. Yet, where did the honoring process for other human beings get lost in the shuffle? It got lost because a hunger for the almighty currency (money) took precedence.

Bringing back these three personal elements that are within every one of us back to the online world will go a long way toward changing its current state of crisis. ­

Here are three suggestions:

1. Show respect

Everyone wants to be heard and respected. It’s not going to happen all of the time because human beings have differences of opinions. Is it so hard to simply respect another person’s opinion or thought without totally eviscerating them through online comments? We all get triggered by other people, but there is a way to respectfully disagree with others.

In fact, one way you could actually show others respect is by not reacting and commenting out of that energy. You and I are not going to agree on every single topic all the time. That’s a given as we are human. I do believe a little more respect shown in the online space can change the landscape a bit more.

“Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?” – Confucius

2. Show compassion

Understand this point about compassion: We all have the capacity to share this emotion with others. It does not mean you have to roll over and just take someone’s abuse. That’s not what I am talking about. Online bullying and scathing words have led some teenagers and adults to committing suicide.

When online behavior reaches that level, then people need to take one giant step back and ask themselves, “What’s going on inside me that I react in that way?” Alas, though, we don’t all think before writing.

Businesses especially need to be careful about their own words and phrases. Case in point: Watch social media platforms during big sports days, like Sundays during the National Football League season.

It’s tough not to “tweet” something toward your favorite team when something goes awry. Do not think you can simply get away with whatever you say because you are a multi-billion-dollar company. One streak of bad news can turn a real sweet streak of success into a pool of failure and despair. Showing compassion to others online starts with you.

3. Show dignity

Where in the world has our dignity gone as a society? This is not about politics or religion in this space. It all comes down to personal accountability and honor. Dignity for corporations and large businesses is not too hot these days. A lot of them don’t know how to effectively communicate with employees or customers through their written and verbal words.

They lean on their historic past filled with pictures of profits soaring through the roof and being the darling of whatever sector they are in for business. A lot of people in high places of power totally forget where they came from, like the bottom of the barrel, and act like fools.

The more dignity you show others in business and life, the more it will be showed towards you. This kind of follows one of those universal laws around cause and effect. The action you take (the cause) leads to the response (the effect), so be dignified in your approach to business and life.

“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you use all three of these elements in your social media presence, more people will become attracted to you and your business. These can become the foundation for your success both today and in the future.

Which one of these 3 elements do you think is lacking most in social media today? Share your thoughts below!

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Life

How You Can Effectively Achieve Your Goals by Using the Puzzle Analogy

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I was building a 500 piece puzzle the other day with many tiny little pieces. When I opened the box, I was completely overwhelmed. There were so many pieces and many of them were very similar in color. I took a breath and thought “just do one piece at a time”. I knew that I had to come up with a plan and organize the pieces into groups before I got started. This helped me to focus and take away some of the overwhelming feelings that were coming up. I came up with a plan and executed that plan.

However, like anything in life, our plans don’t always go the way we think they will. If you can treat anything you are trying to achieve in life like a puzzle, it will help you get through the confusion and come up with a plan to achieve your goals.

Take Your Goals One Step at a Time

Putting a puzzle together is the perfect analogy for anything you are trying to achieve in life. You won’t know all the steps to take to achieve your goal until you are in the middle of it. Each step comes up when it needs to and you complete it as it comes up. Some of the pieces might need to be moved around but that is ok. It is ok if the first piece doesn’t fit, you make adjustments and move forward.

It is much less overwhelming to take it piece by piece instead of trying to figure out the whole picture before you even get started. Many things will come up that you didn’t expect and that is why you cannot see the whole picture until it is done. It is good to remain flexible and take it step by step as new things come up.

“Set your target and keep trying until you reach it.” – Napoleon Hill

Starting is the First Step to Achieve Any Goal You Want in Life

The most important thing is to start! You won’t know how it’s all going to go and you may need to change some things around in the middle. But in the end, you will have the complete picture. If you look at your goal with anxiety and think it is too hard in the beginning, then you may not even start. You only need to know the first step, get organized and all the pieces will fit into place.

I was overwhelmed when I first looked at the puzzle and I thought “maybe I won’t even do it. Is it worth it?” But I decided that I’d start, even if I didn’t finish it at least I’d try. But you know what? Once I got into the puzzle, it wasn’t so bad. It was way less overwhelming when I was in the middle of it then it was before I started.

You have time on your side. You don’t have to do it all in one day or one week or one year. You have plenty of time. That is something that helped me. There was no pressure to get it done in one day which was my original goal; the only pressure I had was that which I put upon myself.

Get Organized and Start With a Solid Plan

If you are starting out on a goal, it is important to get organized first. Yes, you won’t know everything that is going to happen but at least you will be organized enough that when things do come up, you will know how to incorporate them into your plan. Being organized will make it much easier to see where all the pieces go and save you a lot of time in the long run.

I got organized and sorted the puzzle pieces by colors as well as outside and inside pieces to make it easier to see where the pieces would fit. If I left them all in one big pile, I’d constantly have to sort through the pile to find what I was looking for and waste a ton of time. By having them broken out into smaller piles, I was able to find what I was looking for much faster and saved a lot of time.

This works with whatever it is you are trying to achieve in life. Get organized and make a plan. You will save yourself a lot of time and frustration. It is so much easier to go through little organized piles of items than one big, disorganized pile.

“Goals give you more than a reason to get up in the morning; they are an incentive to keep you going all day.” – Harvey MacKay

Get Through the Tough Times When Going for Your Goals

Before I dove into the puzzle, I was confused and a bit frustrated but determined to make it work. In the end all the pieces fit together perfectly and made a beautiful picture. It’s interesting to think of a project or a goal you want to achieve like a big puzzle with many pieces. When you first dump out the pieces, it is a mess. They just look like pieces, nothing is created yet. But as you go through the process and move things around it starts to come together.

You may hit some speed bumps along the way and get a bit frustrated, but if you are organized and take it one step at a time it will form a lovely picture in the end. So, keep going as determined as ever by moving one piece at a time.

Sometimes the piece will fit and other times you’ll need to find a different puzzle piece to go in that spot. Before you know it, you have a beautiful picture created that you never thought you’d be able to do before you started. It may be an interesting, messy, confusing, fun, bumpy ride but in the end all the pieces will form the beautiful picture that you set out to achieve.

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Self-Compassion Vs. Self-Esteem: How You Can Build Both

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Self-esteem can be defined as the confidence in your own abilities or worth. Self-compassion, however, can be defined by the ability to be gentle with yourself, even if you have misjudged or made a mistake.

You ask yourself from time to time, how is self esteem related to success? Having a sense of low self-esteem can really become a barrier for building your career and ultimately, living the life you want.

You may be completely competent in your skills and abilities but be too afraid to show the world your talents or too hesitant to apply for that job. Low self-esteem may hinder you in your personal life by leaving you with feelings of inadequacy or you may always be comparing yourself to someone else.

Self-esteem is not something that can be instantly repaired overnight. Building your self-esteem can take time and, most importantly, self-compassion. It is most important to be kind to yourself and accept that from time to time, you will make mistakes.

Creating a strong sense of self-compassion can ultimately bring more to your life than just a newfound sense of self-love.

Self-Compassion Vs. Self-Esteem

When looking at self compassion vs self esteem, which is more important? Self-esteem can be volatile and emotional, while self-compassion can allow you to remove your self-esteem from your value judgments of yourself.

Knowing this will allow you to look at your decisions and actions from a non-judgmental mindset. You will be able to look at your traits, both good and bad, and accept that all of them are a part of human nature.

New studies suggest that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key that allows you to achieve more growth because you can take your best traits and cultivate them while look at your worst traits objectively.

It can be argued that improving self-compassion will ultimately serve you better in the long run than improving your self-esteem. Even if self-compassion is more important, you can still have room to improve your self-esteem while you are at it.

Here are some tips to tell you how to work on self esteem and self compassion:

1. Be Gentle with Yourself

No one is perfect and, as humans, we will all make mistakes. It is important to recognize and accept our flaws and mistakes as imperfect. Embrace that there are people that care about you, despite your flaws.

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness has many reported benefits for improving your mental health. You can use mindfulness by becoming aware and present in the current moment. Using mindfulness can help you look at your thoughts objectively and decide “Is this a fact about myself or a judgement?”

By staying mindful of how you are speaking to yourself, you can identify where your thoughts are becoming negative and redirect your thinking to more positive thoughts.

Practicing mindfulness will help you look at the current moment without judgements or preconceived ideas about yourself and allow room for growth.

3. Allow Room to Grow

We all inherently have traits that can be seen as undesirable, yet it’s what we do with those traits that decide whether we grow or remain where we’re at in life. By looking objectively at your flaws with a growth mindset, you can transform your life.

Allow yourself to take the things about yourself that you are uncomfortable with and learn from them on how to better yourself. The takeaways would be to focus on one thing at a time and take baby steps.

4. Be Grateful

It is easy to compare ourselves and what we have, or don’t have, to those around us.

Everyone around us is putting the greatest highlights of their lives on social media, and we end up making comparisons that we shouldn’t. It is important to remember to be grateful for what you do have such as the ability to be a great writer or excel in mathematics.

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.” – John Wooden

Secondly, we need to be mindful of our positive traits, and how they can benefit the world. Think about how your specific skills have served you in the past. Perhaps, you are great at taking the lead and because of that, you’re the main leader on work projects. Remember that your positive traits deserve acknowledgement and praise.

5. Do Good

It has been proven that participating in improving the well-being of those around you will aid in improving your own well-being. Doing good and helping those around you will only have a positive effect in your life.

It is not beneficial to tear others down in an effort to build yourself up. Saying and doing helpful things for others around you will not only improve their self-esteem but yours as well.

6. Practice Makes Perfect

It will take some time and commitment to truly work on your self-esteem and self-compassion. This is not a commitment to yourself that you should take lightly. Decide that now is the time for action and truly commit to remaining consistent in bettering yourself.

You may see the successful people around you and how they seem to be so confident in themselves and wonder to yourself, is self-esteem the key to success? Truthfully, the answer would be no.

The key to success lies within many factors, and self-esteem and self-compassion are only two of the factors. As far as building both areas, practicing these strategies listed will help you learn how to get better in self-esteem and self-compassion.

Which one of the above factors resonated most with you in your pursuit of building your self-compassion and self-esteem? Let us know below!

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The 3 P’s of Irresistible Leadership: Passion, Persistence, and Panache

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If any of you reading this have ever studied the theoretical underpinnings of leadership, you will have come across several theories such as the great man theory and charismatic leadership theory. Over the decades, leadership has evolved more from an art of telling people what to do to that of subtle influence, suggestion, and rendering by example. (more…)

Biagio Sciacca, known to his friends as Bill, was a lifelong resident of Pittston, PA. He is the owner of Intelligent Motivation, Inc. a global consulting and training firm specializing in management and leadership training as well as psychological assessment for hiring and staff development. He is the author of several books relating to goal setting, and his third book, Provocative Leadership, is publishing soon. Now residing in Tamarindo, Costa Rica, he divides his time between his international coaching and training clients, writing his next book and wandering aimlessly on the beach. Feel free to contact Bill at bill@intelligentmotivationinc.com or schedule a call with him by going to www.intelligentmotivationinc.com and clicking on the “set up a call” tab.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Sammy Blackmore

    Oct 17, 2016 at 1:15 am

    This is really a great read. As for me, I have completely eliminated watching TV news and shows cos of the extremely biased media and stupid shows.

  2. Rondol

    Oct 13, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    This is a great article Damian, I do believe that these 3 “modern diseases ” play a major role in preventing people from being successful in life. I don’t play video games, I hardly watch TV and I’m breaking into the habit of using Facebook two time per week. I mainly use Facebook to listen to inspirational videos.

  3. Lynn

    Oct 13, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Social media has made us anti-social. I enjoy these type of sites, and the physical fitness ones. So easy to overdo it. Moderation is how YOU manage the beast.

  4. Steve

    Apr 8, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    I couldn’t disagree more. I watch all the TV I want, play video games when I want and if it wasn’t for social media I wouldn’t have read this (I guess that is an argument for getting rid of social media haha) and I am highly successful and very happy. I stumbled on your site via Twitter and have enjoyed most of what I have read but this is just way off base. I say do what makes you happy.

  5. Heather

    Jun 22, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Love it! I hate video games, and very rarely watch TV. I do use social media in my business promotions though, so that was the main one I struggled with, as I often found personal social media creeping into professional social media time. So, I took the apps off my phone (so I have to be sat in front of my Mac working to access them) and I block off specific time during the day to check my social media. And like a charm, my life has become instantly less complicated and more productive.

    Great post – thanks!

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 23, 2015 at 9:07 am

      Hey Heather, I have to thank you for adding to the discussion with your experience. Do you use any app to block social media sites for certain period of time during the day?

  6. Kwing

    Jun 18, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Hey this is a really nice article! I do collect and play video games but I only play around 2 hours on a saturday weekend. I just play to release the tension from the week’s hard work and to refresh myself. 🙂

    You were right, there were people who don’t go out anymore and they only spend their time playing games. There are plenty of great stuff that we can do with our time!

    If only they can transfer their time I’d be super glad to receive it! 🙂

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 18, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      Hey kwing, thanks for adding to the discussion.

      It’s great that you have self-control and play only in the weekends. Well done!

  7. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Like Andrew Carnegie said,

    “If you want to be happy, set a goal that
    commands your thoughts, liberates your
    energy, and inspires your hopes.”
    – Andrew Carnegie

    (replace “happy” with free from the bondage of time wasting pursuits)

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      Andrew Carnegie was a very wise man.This quote is pure gold and timeless even if it’s decades old.

  8. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Hey Damian,

    I went over to D&C, good stuff! I signed up, keep up the great work!

    Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. I agree, with you sometimes the extreme is necessary, like in the case of the alcoholic that may not have a social drink in light of the binge that would surely follow.

    We have a book called “Taming the Techno-Beast” that I have had our children read. It also deals with the life sucking nature of consuming your time with technology, written for children.

    After reading your post I am left thinking that these “modern diseases” are best brought under control by creating an even more compelling future than these pursuits offer. It’s always going to be more effective to replace your habits than STOP them. Throwing the stuff out is good and does “create tragedy” but – how many times do we resolve to stop a thing and find ourselves back at it before we know it? I’m sure it works for some people, however, my mind tells me, “you manufactured this tragedy, now give me back my stuff!”

    What works for me is to find greater pleasure in my future or I will find it instantly right NOW with games, stories, and social validation. If we track our progress toward our goals we find daily motivation and leverage game mechanics, thus replacing the need for games. To replace TV, we face challenges toward our goals which give us our own stories to tell or just entertain ourselves with instead of needing to live vicariously through others on TV. To need social validation less we find validation through achievement. This also is a function of game mechanics where we would count “likes” we see the measured progress, and viola validation!

    Thank you for the opportunity to respond, I hope this adds value to your discussion!
    Robb

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Hey Robb, thanks for your kind words.

      You are totally right about everything you said , throwing something out of our lives might not work sometimes if we don’t replace it with something else which should be obviously better. Throwing out a negative habit is just the first step.

      I have to say that this was an amazingly insightfull comment!

      • Robb

        Jun 15, 2015 at 4:48 pm

        Thank you Damian,
        Again, I appreciate the post as well.
        Robb

  9. Damian Pros

    Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

    Hey Usman,

    Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

  10. Fredrick Mutooni

    Jun 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    The three things you listed are exactly oposite of what your talking about. The first two listed as Video games and TV i have no commeents because i have no interest in either. However to say instagram is controlling you is wrong. Yrs back i could not talk to people outside my village. Now i do through social networks. If thats wrong then i let it be wrong but i love it

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:29 am

      Hey Fredrick,

      I totally agree with you. I agreed inside the article “Social media can be a really great tool to communicate, connect and meet new people or even help your business grow. They have a great power, but you have to use them in the right way”.

      BUT, it depends on HOW you use social media. You are probably using instagram the rigth way. But do you know how many people I see going out for a coffee or a drink with their friends and are scrolling down their instagram timeline instead of socializing with the real people they have in front of them?

      I also see young men in the university wasting time in instagram or facebook when they are in the classroom and they have lesson. Why are you going to the classrom in the first place then?

      I guesst you can see my point..Thanks for sharing your opinion!

      • Abel

        Jun 15, 2015 at 11:13 am

        Great article I believe millions of people in the western world fall victim of this disease unknowingly, in response to Fredrick I understand your point and it`s valid, but I think the author is speaking from a western perspective and his point is very valid and no one from this part of the world can disagree that these things will do you more bad than good. But I think it`s awesome you are able to connect with different people from your village.

        • Damian Pros

          Jun 15, 2015 at 1:07 pm

          Hey abel, as you correctly understood I was referring mostly to the western world. Nice observation.

  11. Damian Pros

    Jun 14, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    Hey lawrence,

    You are spot on about what you said. You don’t have to eliminate them completely but sometimes it’s difficult to find a balance between these activities and your goals. That’s why I suggested to eliminate them completely. Even if you are the most disciplined person in the world you can fall into the temptation and watch 2 hours TV instead of commiting to your goal.

  12. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 14, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    These are truly some things that have made people waste valuable time. They can be really addicting because they are fun to do, but you have to ask yourself, when you play video games or are watching television, are you really contributing to accomplishing your dreams. I don’t think you have to give up these things entirely because we all can use time to ourselves and our hobbies, but definitely limit the time spent doing these activities.

  13. Usman Mahmood

    Jun 14, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    Enjoyed reading this article especially where you highlighted that personal growth occurs because of two main reasons, which is so true. Definitely a good read for the younger generation because they often lose focus and motivation to pursue their goals because of these modern diseases.

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Hey Usman,

      Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

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Life

3 Simple Self-Communication Tips to Ensure You Set Yourself Up to Achieve Your Goals

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Do you ever wonder why some people seem to hit every goal they set, while others struggle to even take the first step towards their goals? The difference may be in the finer details of how the goal is being set.

Communication, whether with ourselves or with others, is critical in today’s society. When we are setting goals, we are communicating our wants and desires with our unconscious mind. Yet despite the importance of being able to communicate effectively, rarely are we ever taught how to communicate or what the meaning of communication is.

The majority of the population choose their words carelessly and assume that the recipient of that communication will understand what they meant.

We’re typically even more careless when it comes to communicating with ourselves, because our own brains should understand what we mean…right? Wrong. This is why 95% of the population never achieve their goals. This is why New Year’s Resolutions have a shelf life of 3-4 weeks.

We don’t communicate in words. For everything we say, the person we’re speaking to (including ourselves) gets an image in their head. How they interpret that image determines how they interpret what has been said to them. Allow me to demonstrate.

“I want to travel to an isolated beach and stay in a hut over the water for a week”. What picture do you have in your head? I’m guessing a beach, with a hut over the water. Pretty cool right? Here’s the thing, if we’re choosing our words carelessly, then we lack control over the picture that is created. This is a FATAL goal setting mistake.

Within our unconscious mind (the part of our mind that drives behaviour) is our filtering system, the Reticular Activating System, or RAS.

The RAS is like our internal GPS. When we set a goal, the RAS holds onto a picture of that goal and becomes like a homing device towards making it happen. How do you know you’re putting the right image into your RAS?

Here are 3 simple self-communication tips to ensure you set yourself up for success in achieving your goals:

1. Watch Your Mouth!

No, I don’t mean no swearing. The words we use when setting goals are critical to our success. There are certain words the unconscious mind processes in a negative fashion. The first word we need to remove from our vocabulary is “not” or any derivative of not (ie. don’t, can’t, etc). The unconscious mind is unable to process negatives.

Here’s an example. “Don’t think of a purple frog” What picture do you have in your head? A purple frog! When we use negatives in our communication, the unconscious mind has to get a picture of what we’ve said, then the conscious mind comes in and gives a new directive to picture. If we set a goal like “Don’t have any debt” or “I don’t want a partner who cheats on me” then we give the RAS a picture of what we don’t want. The RAS then sets out to find us what we don’t want as quickly and easily as possible. Instead focus on what you do want!

Another word to eliminate from your goal setting (and your vocabulary in general) is “try.” To the unconscious mind, try means “this isn’t important enough to commit to so I have an excuse to fail.” Anyone who “tries” to do anything rarely succeeds. Instead, remove your excuses and commit!

“Aim higher. Stay focused.” – Brandon Adams

2. Be specific!

We’ve all heard of setting SMART goals (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and timely). Being specific when communicating your goals is particularly important to the unconscious mind.

If the goal or end result is too ambiguous, the unconscious mind won’t be able to create a picture to move towards. In the absence of a specific picture, it will continue to move towards whatever beliefs or programming is already installed in the unconscious.

For example, setting a goal to be “financially free” won’t move the RAS into action. Instead, set a specific dollar amount you want to see in the bank! Paint a clear picture for your unconscious mind to grasp. It’s worth spending time creating this picture so it’s as clear as possible. You can even print out pictures if you need to!

3. Get Emotional!

Emotions drive our unconscious minds into action. If the goals you set aren’t making you emotional (in a good way) then you’re unlikely to take action. At the same time, if your current situation isn’t making you experience negative emotions, you also won’t be motivated to act.

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins

There are two types of goals we can set – towards motivated goals and away from motivated goals.

Away from motivated goals are when the pain or discomfort of our current situation is so intense that we have to take action.

Think about people with unhealthy habits like smoking. When they witness someone close to them die, or they have a brush with death themselves, they can easily and quickly stop smoking. People who are overweight are typically spurred into action when they are unable to fit into their wardrobe anymore.

The problem with away from motivated goals is that the motivation only lasts while the pain or discomfort is present. It’s not uncommon for someone with a weight loss goal to completely lose motivation at the halfway point because the intensity of their situation no longer overwhelms them.

Towards motivated goals focus on a reward at the end creating a strong emotion such as pride, excitement or sheer bliss.

Examples include brides wanting to look slim in their wedding dress or people who reward themselves with cars or houses remain motivated to continue taking action towards their goal. This is because even once the pain of their current situation dissipates, they are still aiming for the emotion of the reward.

It’s ok to use pain to motivate you to take action, just make sure your goal also contains towards motivation and the emotions you’ll feel once you reach the goal.

Contrary to what Freud may have caused you to believe, our unconscious mind wants to help us get what we want! We just need to communicate effectively and give our GPS (aka the RAS) the proper information so it can find the fastest, easiest route to the future we truly want!

How do you set goals and make sure you hit them? Let us know your advice below!

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Build Up Your Social Media Presence Using These Three Personal Powers

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Instead of being on defense when it comes to social media, show the world you mean business with respect, compassion and dignity. Ask anyone of your friends or online connections if they’ve found themselves going down a rabbit hole online and a bunch of them probably will say, “Yep, it happened just the other day.”

Everyone is trying to yank and pull for attention in the online space. People will go to great lengths for a few minutes of your precious time. Do you ever do an inventory of how much time you actually spend on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, and so on? I’d imagine for a lot of us, that the time inventory would be incredibly imbalanced.

There was a time many years ago where Facebook actually was all about staying connected to families and friends to hear about their successes and tough times. People shared births, anniversaries, new jobs, and deaths. These things were shared with others out of simply wanting to stay in touch.

Along the way, though, businesses and entrepreneurs found a way to get their products and services out through the use of social media. We’ve used it to launch programs, books, products, conferences…you name it. Yet, where did the honoring process for other human beings get lost in the shuffle? It got lost because a hunger for the almighty currency (money) took precedence.

Bringing back these three personal elements that are within every one of us back to the online world will go a long way toward changing its current state of crisis. ­

Here are three suggestions:

1. Show respect

Everyone wants to be heard and respected. It’s not going to happen all of the time because human beings have differences of opinions. Is it so hard to simply respect another person’s opinion or thought without totally eviscerating them through online comments? We all get triggered by other people, but there is a way to respectfully disagree with others.

In fact, one way you could actually show others respect is by not reacting and commenting out of that energy. You and I are not going to agree on every single topic all the time. That’s a given as we are human. I do believe a little more respect shown in the online space can change the landscape a bit more.

“Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?” – Confucius

2. Show compassion

Understand this point about compassion: We all have the capacity to share this emotion with others. It does not mean you have to roll over and just take someone’s abuse. That’s not what I am talking about. Online bullying and scathing words have led some teenagers and adults to committing suicide.

When online behavior reaches that level, then people need to take one giant step back and ask themselves, “What’s going on inside me that I react in that way?” Alas, though, we don’t all think before writing.

Businesses especially need to be careful about their own words and phrases. Case in point: Watch social media platforms during big sports days, like Sundays during the National Football League season.

It’s tough not to “tweet” something toward your favorite team when something goes awry. Do not think you can simply get away with whatever you say because you are a multi-billion-dollar company. One streak of bad news can turn a real sweet streak of success into a pool of failure and despair. Showing compassion to others online starts with you.

3. Show dignity

Where in the world has our dignity gone as a society? This is not about politics or religion in this space. It all comes down to personal accountability and honor. Dignity for corporations and large businesses is not too hot these days. A lot of them don’t know how to effectively communicate with employees or customers through their written and verbal words.

They lean on their historic past filled with pictures of profits soaring through the roof and being the darling of whatever sector they are in for business. A lot of people in high places of power totally forget where they came from, like the bottom of the barrel, and act like fools.

The more dignity you show others in business and life, the more it will be showed towards you. This kind of follows one of those universal laws around cause and effect. The action you take (the cause) leads to the response (the effect), so be dignified in your approach to business and life.

“All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you use all three of these elements in your social media presence, more people will become attracted to you and your business. These can become the foundation for your success both today and in the future.

Which one of these 3 elements do you think is lacking most in social media today? Share your thoughts below!

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How You Can Effectively Achieve Your Goals by Using the Puzzle Analogy

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I was building a 500 piece puzzle the other day with many tiny little pieces. When I opened the box, I was completely overwhelmed. There were so many pieces and many of them were very similar in color. I took a breath and thought “just do one piece at a time”. I knew that I had to come up with a plan and organize the pieces into groups before I got started. This helped me to focus and take away some of the overwhelming feelings that were coming up. I came up with a plan and executed that plan.

However, like anything in life, our plans don’t always go the way we think they will. If you can treat anything you are trying to achieve in life like a puzzle, it will help you get through the confusion and come up with a plan to achieve your goals.

Take Your Goals One Step at a Time

Putting a puzzle together is the perfect analogy for anything you are trying to achieve in life. You won’t know all the steps to take to achieve your goal until you are in the middle of it. Each step comes up when it needs to and you complete it as it comes up. Some of the pieces might need to be moved around but that is ok. It is ok if the first piece doesn’t fit, you make adjustments and move forward.

It is much less overwhelming to take it piece by piece instead of trying to figure out the whole picture before you even get started. Many things will come up that you didn’t expect and that is why you cannot see the whole picture until it is done. It is good to remain flexible and take it step by step as new things come up.

“Set your target and keep trying until you reach it.” – Napoleon Hill

Starting is the First Step to Achieve Any Goal You Want in Life

The most important thing is to start! You won’t know how it’s all going to go and you may need to change some things around in the middle. But in the end, you will have the complete picture. If you look at your goal with anxiety and think it is too hard in the beginning, then you may not even start. You only need to know the first step, get organized and all the pieces will fit into place.

I was overwhelmed when I first looked at the puzzle and I thought “maybe I won’t even do it. Is it worth it?” But I decided that I’d start, even if I didn’t finish it at least I’d try. But you know what? Once I got into the puzzle, it wasn’t so bad. It was way less overwhelming when I was in the middle of it then it was before I started.

You have time on your side. You don’t have to do it all in one day or one week or one year. You have plenty of time. That is something that helped me. There was no pressure to get it done in one day which was my original goal; the only pressure I had was that which I put upon myself.

Get Organized and Start With a Solid Plan

If you are starting out on a goal, it is important to get organized first. Yes, you won’t know everything that is going to happen but at least you will be organized enough that when things do come up, you will know how to incorporate them into your plan. Being organized will make it much easier to see where all the pieces go and save you a lot of time in the long run.

I got organized and sorted the puzzle pieces by colors as well as outside and inside pieces to make it easier to see where the pieces would fit. If I left them all in one big pile, I’d constantly have to sort through the pile to find what I was looking for and waste a ton of time. By having them broken out into smaller piles, I was able to find what I was looking for much faster and saved a lot of time.

This works with whatever it is you are trying to achieve in life. Get organized and make a plan. You will save yourself a lot of time and frustration. It is so much easier to go through little organized piles of items than one big, disorganized pile.

“Goals give you more than a reason to get up in the morning; they are an incentive to keep you going all day.” – Harvey MacKay

Get Through the Tough Times When Going for Your Goals

Before I dove into the puzzle, I was confused and a bit frustrated but determined to make it work. In the end all the pieces fit together perfectly and made a beautiful picture. It’s interesting to think of a project or a goal you want to achieve like a big puzzle with many pieces. When you first dump out the pieces, it is a mess. They just look like pieces, nothing is created yet. But as you go through the process and move things around it starts to come together.

You may hit some speed bumps along the way and get a bit frustrated, but if you are organized and take it one step at a time it will form a lovely picture in the end. So, keep going as determined as ever by moving one piece at a time.

Sometimes the piece will fit and other times you’ll need to find a different puzzle piece to go in that spot. Before you know it, you have a beautiful picture created that you never thought you’d be able to do before you started. It may be an interesting, messy, confusing, fun, bumpy ride but in the end all the pieces will form the beautiful picture that you set out to achieve.

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Life

Self-Compassion Vs. Self-Esteem: How You Can Build Both

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Self-esteem can be defined as the confidence in your own abilities or worth. Self-compassion, however, can be defined by the ability to be gentle with yourself, even if you have misjudged or made a mistake.

You ask yourself from time to time, how is self esteem related to success? Having a sense of low self-esteem can really become a barrier for building your career and ultimately, living the life you want.

You may be completely competent in your skills and abilities but be too afraid to show the world your talents or too hesitant to apply for that job. Low self-esteem may hinder you in your personal life by leaving you with feelings of inadequacy or you may always be comparing yourself to someone else.

Self-esteem is not something that can be instantly repaired overnight. Building your self-esteem can take time and, most importantly, self-compassion. It is most important to be kind to yourself and accept that from time to time, you will make mistakes.

Creating a strong sense of self-compassion can ultimately bring more to your life than just a newfound sense of self-love.

Self-Compassion Vs. Self-Esteem

When looking at self compassion vs self esteem, which is more important? Self-esteem can be volatile and emotional, while self-compassion can allow you to remove your self-esteem from your value judgments of yourself.

Knowing this will allow you to look at your decisions and actions from a non-judgmental mindset. You will be able to look at your traits, both good and bad, and accept that all of them are a part of human nature.

New studies suggest that self-compassion, rather than self-esteem, may be the key that allows you to achieve more growth because you can take your best traits and cultivate them while look at your worst traits objectively.

It can be argued that improving self-compassion will ultimately serve you better in the long run than improving your self-esteem. Even if self-compassion is more important, you can still have room to improve your self-esteem while you are at it.

Here are some tips to tell you how to work on self esteem and self compassion:

1. Be Gentle with Yourself

No one is perfect and, as humans, we will all make mistakes. It is important to recognize and accept our flaws and mistakes as imperfect. Embrace that there are people that care about you, despite your flaws.

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness has many reported benefits for improving your mental health. You can use mindfulness by becoming aware and present in the current moment. Using mindfulness can help you look at your thoughts objectively and decide “Is this a fact about myself or a judgement?”

By staying mindful of how you are speaking to yourself, you can identify where your thoughts are becoming negative and redirect your thinking to more positive thoughts.

Practicing mindfulness will help you look at the current moment without judgements or preconceived ideas about yourself and allow room for growth.

3. Allow Room to Grow

We all inherently have traits that can be seen as undesirable, yet it’s what we do with those traits that decide whether we grow or remain where we’re at in life. By looking objectively at your flaws with a growth mindset, you can transform your life.

Allow yourself to take the things about yourself that you are uncomfortable with and learn from them on how to better yourself. The takeaways would be to focus on one thing at a time and take baby steps.

4. Be Grateful

It is easy to compare ourselves and what we have, or don’t have, to those around us.

Everyone around us is putting the greatest highlights of their lives on social media, and we end up making comparisons that we shouldn’t. It is important to remember to be grateful for what you do have such as the ability to be a great writer or excel in mathematics.

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.” – John Wooden

Secondly, we need to be mindful of our positive traits, and how they can benefit the world. Think about how your specific skills have served you in the past. Perhaps, you are great at taking the lead and because of that, you’re the main leader on work projects. Remember that your positive traits deserve acknowledgement and praise.

5. Do Good

It has been proven that participating in improving the well-being of those around you will aid in improving your own well-being. Doing good and helping those around you will only have a positive effect in your life.

It is not beneficial to tear others down in an effort to build yourself up. Saying and doing helpful things for others around you will not only improve their self-esteem but yours as well.

6. Practice Makes Perfect

It will take some time and commitment to truly work on your self-esteem and self-compassion. This is not a commitment to yourself that you should take lightly. Decide that now is the time for action and truly commit to remaining consistent in bettering yourself.

You may see the successful people around you and how they seem to be so confident in themselves and wonder to yourself, is self-esteem the key to success? Truthfully, the answer would be no.

The key to success lies within many factors, and self-esteem and self-compassion are only two of the factors. As far as building both areas, practicing these strategies listed will help you learn how to get better in self-esteem and self-compassion.

Which one of the above factors resonated most with you in your pursuit of building your self-compassion and self-esteem? Let us know below!

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