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3 Modern Diseases That Ruin Your Life And How To Avoid Them

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3 Modern Diseases That Ruin Your Life And How To Avoid Them

You might be wondering what modern diseases are. When you think of the term disease, pictures of ill people in a hospital come into your mind.

But what has this to do with me? I am completely healthy!” You keep wondering.

Modern diseases don’t necessarily affect your body and can’t make you ill by raising your body temperature. However they can have an indirect impact to your health.

They have the power to ruin your life more than anything but only if you let them do so. The fact is that you can have complete control over them, but if you fall in the temptation to relinquish control you will be beaten to the ground.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease” – Buddha

What are these modern diseases?

They are activities that affect your way of living in a negative way and are obstacles to everyone who wants to become successful in life.

These activities are:

  • Video games
  • Television
  • Social media

 

If these three are leveraged correctly they can give you a huge boost in your life and can be a really powerful tool, but only if you don’t fall in the trap of relinquishing control.

The technology expansion has given us amazing benefits and made our life much easier and more comfortable. However it has created activities that enslave our brains and make us live like zombies. Zombies which don’t think, don’t take risks and don’t seek growth in life but only in a virtual reality.

Activities that distract us from finding our purpose in life and make us believe we are not great enough to break out of homeostasis.

If you still believe that video games, television and social media can offer you benefits, make you more productive and improve your life’s quality then try to find someone who is really successful and you will be astonished by the fact that he doesn’t spend time in these worthless activities.

I don’t know any successful person who achieved his goals and spent more than half an hour per day watching the latest popular series in TV or killing dragons in his Xbox.

 

1. Video games

After many years of spending unlimited hours in video games and staying in front of a digital reality world from morning to night (with breaks only for food and WC) I came to the conclusion that I have lost a ton of precious time.

I would give everything to have that time back. Unfortunately when your life goes away it never returns and never forgives you. It doesn’t care about how you spend it, it just goes away. When you realize that it’s gone, it might be too late.

Fortunately for me, I have realized it soon enough in my life and that’s the reason I want to share this with as many people as possible because making that realization when you are 40 or 50 will destroy you. You won’t be able to handle the repressed emotions, you won’t be able to turn back the time and do all the things you didn’t do.

Some people might say that video games offer entertainment. Some might say that video games are proven to improve mind and reflective. Even if this is true, these little benefits aren’t worth your TIME . You could do a million things that have a huge positive impact on yourself instead of killing monsters or playing football in front of a TV screen.

You spend all your time in front of a reality world and then you keep wondering why your life is so miserable, why your girlfriend dumped you for somebody else or why you don’t have money and need to live with your parents.

But why are you wondering? The only person who has control over your life is you and by relinquishing that control you let circumstances ruin your life’s quality.

 

2. Television

Okay, not all TV programs are terrible and time-wasting. You can find shows or movies which are entertaining and give information. Unfortunately the majority of TV shows are crap and don’t offer anything at all. They are a total waste of time.

There was a period in my life that I could spent 4-5 hours per day watching TV. I have spent an entire summer in front of a TV screen watching worthless shows and movies instead of going to the beach and enjoying my life.

When I rewind those moments my feelings are mixed. I feel so ashamed about myself 5 year ago but I also feel so proud for me today. I don’t watch television at all, I don’t even have a TV at home and if I want to see a movie I simply watch it online.

Television has a major disadvantage. You don’t have many choices about what you can see. You just open it, search the 4-5 best channels and check what they have to show you. On the other side internet provides countless information and choices.

At least you have the ability to choose what you will see instead of opening the TV and being fed up with the program that X or Y channel decided to show at 6pm. Does this mean that you can’t get lost in the internet? Of course not, but at least you have a little more control over your choices.

Fred Allen has said that “Television is the triumph of machines over people” and he was completely right. Do you know how awesome it feels when you stop brainwashing yourself with stupid TV shows?

You instantly have 3 to 5 free hours to spend on yourself by exercising, reading a book, starting a new hobby or just sleeping. You have more time to socialize, meet new people and do something meaningful with your life. You aren’t a slave to TV anymore.

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

3. Social media

The growth of social media in the last decade was astonishing. The internet was flooded with millions of people full of narcissism and insecurities trying to validate themselves through a social profile where they showcase their experience, beauty and life.

Social media can be a really great tool to communicate, connect and meet new people or even help your business grow. They have a great power, but you have to use them in the right way. If you let them control your life then you have lost the game. How do you know that you have let them control your life?

When you go for a drink with your friends and the only thing you can remember from that night is that Becky liked your profile picture at 2.20 am or the “check in” you did on Facebook at 3.00 am with title “having amazing fun with my buddies“.

Sure, you had amazing fun. That’s why you spent almost all the night scrolling down your social profile timeline. You know that you have let them control your life when you are continuously checking your smart phone and the only thing you care about is how many people liked or shared your photo.

When you eat dinner with your family and instead of talking with them you check your snapchat updates. Or when you don’t have something productive to do and you decide to kill your time on Instagram. That’s how it is when you let social media control your life.

 

How to take control of your life:

Many people suffer from addictions to these three “modern diseases” and can’t find a way to take back control over their lives. It’s easy to give advice like “come on, just shut down the TV” or “the only thing you have to do is to close the video game” but it’s not so simple.

When you are deeply addicted, both emotionally and pshycoligically it’s so difficult to disconnect and just close the video game or simply shut down the TV. That disease doesn’t let you grow and keeps you static and mediocre.

Take control of your life

Personal growth occurs because of two reasons:

Think about it. When is it easier to run faster? When you know that if you run fast enough you will win $10,000 or if your life is threatened and you know that if you run fast enough you will save your life.

In both cases you will run, but the second case is a tragedy and is more likely to force you to succeed and run fast enough to win. The only way to cut these worthless activities and regain control over your life is by creating a tragedy.

How are you doing that? Easier said than done but you have to:
  • Delete all your data in the video game.
  • Sell your TV or video game.
  • Throw your video game/TV out of the window or break it down(though it’s more profitable to sell it)
  • Delete your social media accounts.

These might sound a bit extreme but the only way to stop doing something is by not having the ability to do it. When are you more likely to binge eat and gain weight? When you have a kitchen full of biscuits, sweets and chocolates or when you have a kitchen full of fruits and vegetables? If you don’t have the ability to do something then you will end up not doing it.

When I moved to my new house I noticed that I didn’t spend time watching TV because I haven’t bought a new TV yet. This saved me 2-3 hours per day and I ended up never buying a new TV because I realized the time-saving benefit. 

If you find yourself in a situation where your life sucks and your dreams fly away, then modern diseases are probably ruining your life. Sell your TV, video game, burn it or break it down. Delete all your data from your social profiles. Just get rid of them completely. That’s the only way to take back control of your life.

 

What’s your experience with modern diseases? Do you believe they have a negative or positive impact on your life? Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Damian is the owner of DareandConquer.com, a blog dedicated to help people go from mediocre to exceptional. You can download his FREE E-Book to learn how you can become more disciplined, focused and beat procrastination.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Sammy Blackmore

    Oct 17, 2016 at 1:15 am

    This is really a great read. As for me, I have completely eliminated watching TV news and shows cos of the extremely biased media and stupid shows.

  2. Rondol

    Oct 13, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    This is a great article Damian, I do believe that these 3 “modern diseases ” play a major role in preventing people from being successful in life. I don’t play video games, I hardly watch TV and I’m breaking into the habit of using Facebook two time per week. I mainly use Facebook to listen to inspirational videos.

  3. Lynn

    Oct 13, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Social media has made us anti-social. I enjoy these type of sites, and the physical fitness ones. So easy to overdo it. Moderation is how YOU manage the beast.

  4. Steve

    Apr 8, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    I couldn’t disagree more. I watch all the TV I want, play video games when I want and if it wasn’t for social media I wouldn’t have read this (I guess that is an argument for getting rid of social media haha) and I am highly successful and very happy. I stumbled on your site via Twitter and have enjoyed most of what I have read but this is just way off base. I say do what makes you happy.

  5. Heather

    Jun 22, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Love it! I hate video games, and very rarely watch TV. I do use social media in my business promotions though, so that was the main one I struggled with, as I often found personal social media creeping into professional social media time. So, I took the apps off my phone (so I have to be sat in front of my Mac working to access them) and I block off specific time during the day to check my social media. And like a charm, my life has become instantly less complicated and more productive.

    Great post – thanks!

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 23, 2015 at 9:07 am

      Hey Heather, I have to thank you for adding to the discussion with your experience. Do you use any app to block social media sites for certain period of time during the day?

  6. Kwing

    Jun 18, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Hey this is a really nice article! I do collect and play video games but I only play around 2 hours on a saturday weekend. I just play to release the tension from the week’s hard work and to refresh myself. 🙂

    You were right, there were people who don’t go out anymore and they only spend their time playing games. There are plenty of great stuff that we can do with our time!

    If only they can transfer their time I’d be super glad to receive it! 🙂

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 18, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      Hey kwing, thanks for adding to the discussion.

      It’s great that you have self-control and play only in the weekends. Well done!

  7. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Like Andrew Carnegie said,

    “If you want to be happy, set a goal that
    commands your thoughts, liberates your
    energy, and inspires your hopes.”
    – Andrew Carnegie

    (replace “happy” with free from the bondage of time wasting pursuits)

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      Andrew Carnegie was a very wise man.This quote is pure gold and timeless even if it’s decades old.

  8. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Hey Damian,

    I went over to D&C, good stuff! I signed up, keep up the great work!

    Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. I agree, with you sometimes the extreme is necessary, like in the case of the alcoholic that may not have a social drink in light of the binge that would surely follow.

    We have a book called “Taming the Techno-Beast” that I have had our children read. It also deals with the life sucking nature of consuming your time with technology, written for children.

    After reading your post I am left thinking that these “modern diseases” are best brought under control by creating an even more compelling future than these pursuits offer. It’s always going to be more effective to replace your habits than STOP them. Throwing the stuff out is good and does “create tragedy” but – how many times do we resolve to stop a thing and find ourselves back at it before we know it? I’m sure it works for some people, however, my mind tells me, “you manufactured this tragedy, now give me back my stuff!”

    What works for me is to find greater pleasure in my future or I will find it instantly right NOW with games, stories, and social validation. If we track our progress toward our goals we find daily motivation and leverage game mechanics, thus replacing the need for games. To replace TV, we face challenges toward our goals which give us our own stories to tell or just entertain ourselves with instead of needing to live vicariously through others on TV. To need social validation less we find validation through achievement. This also is a function of game mechanics where we would count “likes” we see the measured progress, and viola validation!

    Thank you for the opportunity to respond, I hope this adds value to your discussion!
    Robb

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Hey Robb, thanks for your kind words.

      You are totally right about everything you said , throwing something out of our lives might not work sometimes if we don’t replace it with something else which should be obviously better. Throwing out a negative habit is just the first step.

      I have to say that this was an amazingly insightfull comment!

      • Robb

        Jun 15, 2015 at 4:48 pm

        Thank you Damian,
        Again, I appreciate the post as well.
        Robb

  9. Damian Pros

    Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

    Hey Usman,

    Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

  10. Fredrick Mutooni

    Jun 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    The three things you listed are exactly oposite of what your talking about. The first two listed as Video games and TV i have no commeents because i have no interest in either. However to say instagram is controlling you is wrong. Yrs back i could not talk to people outside my village. Now i do through social networks. If thats wrong then i let it be wrong but i love it

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:29 am

      Hey Fredrick,

      I totally agree with you. I agreed inside the article “Social media can be a really great tool to communicate, connect and meet new people or even help your business grow. They have a great power, but you have to use them in the right way”.

      BUT, it depends on HOW you use social media. You are probably using instagram the rigth way. But do you know how many people I see going out for a coffee or a drink with their friends and are scrolling down their instagram timeline instead of socializing with the real people they have in front of them?

      I also see young men in the university wasting time in instagram or facebook when they are in the classroom and they have lesson. Why are you going to the classrom in the first place then?

      I guesst you can see my point..Thanks for sharing your opinion!

      • Abel

        Jun 15, 2015 at 11:13 am

        Great article I believe millions of people in the western world fall victim of this disease unknowingly, in response to Fredrick I understand your point and it`s valid, but I think the author is speaking from a western perspective and his point is very valid and no one from this part of the world can disagree that these things will do you more bad than good. But I think it`s awesome you are able to connect with different people from your village.

        • Damian Pros

          Jun 15, 2015 at 1:07 pm

          Hey abel, as you correctly understood I was referring mostly to the western world. Nice observation.

  11. Damian Pros

    Jun 14, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    Hey lawrence,

    You are spot on about what you said. You don’t have to eliminate them completely but sometimes it’s difficult to find a balance between these activities and your goals. That’s why I suggested to eliminate them completely. Even if you are the most disciplined person in the world you can fall into the temptation and watch 2 hours TV instead of commiting to your goal.

  12. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 14, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    These are truly some things that have made people waste valuable time. They can be really addicting because they are fun to do, but you have to ask yourself, when you play video games or are watching television, are you really contributing to accomplishing your dreams. I don’t think you have to give up these things entirely because we all can use time to ourselves and our hobbies, but definitely limit the time spent doing these activities.

  13. Usman Mahmood

    Jun 14, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    Enjoyed reading this article especially where you highlighted that personal growth occurs because of two main reasons, which is so true. Definitely a good read for the younger generation because they often lose focus and motivation to pursue their goals because of these modern diseases.

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Hey Usman,

      Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

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Life

5 Mindset Shifts You Can Steal From the Movies to Have Blockbuster Success

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Image Credit: Unsplash

If only our clients had the passion of Potterheads. Remember the midnight premiers? Potterheads lined up for hours, dressed in full costume, wands a-blazin’. When the doors finally opened, they couldn’t throw their money at the ticket booth fast enough. How do you create that kind of enthusiasm for your own business?

I’m going to share five mindset shifts straight out of the movie business that you can use to fuel lifelong fanatics. Some of it is going to be tough love, but hey, nobody said getting your own fan club was easy.

1. Stay humble, stay hungry

Working actors audition an average of 67 times before booking a gig. 67 times! And that’s working actors—people who earn their entire livelihood from acting. Most entrepreneurs will hear this stat and say, “I get it. I need to accept failure 66 times.” But this isn’t about that. It’s about showing up 67.

Accepting failure is passive. You can accept failure from your couch. Showing up and trying, however, is active. When you show up, you commit to taking a step forward. And 66 times, you’ll get knocked down. It’s humbling. But on attempt 67, that step forward might finally stick.

Mindset shift: You have an insatiable appetite for success. You know that every failure is one failure down and that, soon, you’ll knock it out of the park.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

2. Treat your audience as kings

The box office doesn’t care what the director’s intentions were, how cool the writer is, or if the lead actor was featured in some fancy magazine, it cares about people in seats. And when thematic costumes clothe them (ala Potterheads), there are more of them.

In movies and entrepreneurship, your most critical metrics depend on your audience’s choices. So, the sooner you start treating your audience as kings and making everything about them, the sooner your metrics will start climbing.

How does the Harry Potter franchise treat Potterheads as kings? Movie premiers are 100% about the fans. They get to feel cool in costume, show off to friends, be among the first, hang out with other super-fans, and more. No matter what, putting your audience’s desire ahead of your own will always pay off in the long run.

Mindset shifts: Other entrepreneurs pursue immediate recognition. But you know that the more special you make your audience feel, the more success you’ll have down the road.

3. Depict compelling transformations

Humans have a fundamental desire for transformation. We love watching movies about redemption, growing up, settling down, overcoming adversity, underdogs, and more. Harry Potter is full of that stuff. Heck, the series even allowed a generation of readers to transform into adults alongside Harry.

This is why Before and After pictures are so incredibly persuasive. They help us to visualize the change we crave. And every single product or service on the market offers some form of transformation. All you have to do is call it out.  

Mindset shift: Bad entrepreneurs sell products. Good entrepreneurs sell solutions. Entrepreneurs who create rabid fans sell transformation.

4. Trust the fundamentals

When I took my first screenwriting class, the number of hyper-specific rules shocked me. Did you know that about 20 minutes into every movie, something dramatic changes in the protagonist’s life and propels them into a new world?

Don’t believe me? Time it. Unsurprisingly, one kid in my class completely ignored the rules. Even more unsurprisingly, his scripts sucked. When my professor called him out, the kid blubbered, “But Tarantino—” To which my professor replied, “Are you Tarantino?” No. No, he was not Tarantino.

The difference between you, me, that kid, and Tarantino is that Tarantino paid his dues. It’s extremely rare to find someone who became successful by completely ignoring the conventions of their craft. And the same is true for entrepreneurship.

Mindset shift: Nobody is “above” learning the fundamentals. You know that by appreciating the current structures and systems, you will be better poised to disrupt them in the future.

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

5. Kill your darlings

Once upon a time, an animation studio was four years into creating a film about the ocean. They had sunk thousands of hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into the project. Then, the unthinkable happened… Finding Nemo. You know what the studio did with their ocean movie? They scrapped it.

As entrepreneurs, once we invest a lot of time and energy into something, we’re afraid to abandon it—even if the circumstances that made it worth pursuing in the first place don’t exist anymore. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s important to remember that regardless of if you keep chugging along, the investment you made is unrecoverable. On the flip side, the gains you made are still valuable. The only choice you have is how you move forward—and sometimes, that means changing course.

Mindset shift: No effort goes to waste, even if the resulting work becomes irrelevant. Instead of letting your ego rule your decisions, you choose the best course of action and move on.

Building enthusiasm for your business is a slow but crucial process. What techniques have you pulled from other fields to help connect with your audience?

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?”

The researchers found that people who experienced high levels of stress were 43% more likely to die in the study’s 8-year period. Doesn’t that prove stress is in fact bad for your health? Not exactly, stress was only harmful to the people who believed stress was harmful.

Those people who experienced high amounts of stress but didn’t believe it was harmful to their health were less likely to die than all other groups in the study. They were even less likely to die than the people who experienced low levels of stress (but believed stress is harmful.)

Put simply, people who believe that stress is not harmful live longer lives than those who believe it is. This study showed that it might not be stress that damages our health, but our beliefs about stress that damages our health.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

Breakthroughs In Stress Research

At first, this might be hard to believe. Kelly McGonigal elegantly explains this phenomenon in The Upside of Stress, “Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it.”

People who believe stress is negative are more likely to avoid it by smoking, binge-eating, or watching too much TV. Afterwards, their physical health pays the price. Fortunately, research has shown that your beliefs about stress can be changed – and changing them has powerful benefits.

A study by Jeremy Jameson and colleagues had people endure a grueling social stress test. Participants were asked to give a 5-minute impromptu speech about their personal weaknesses to a panel of judges. To make this situation even more stressful, the judges were instructed to give negative feedback to the participant giving the speech. This study wasn’t just about sadistically putting people through social pressure, it was testing whether a mindset intervention could change how people react to stress.

Before giving the impromptu speech, participants were shown one of two videos:

  • The first video opened with the message, “Most people think that stress is negative… but research shows that stress is even more debilitating than you expect.”
  • The second video opened with, “Most people think that stress is negative… but actually research shows that it is enhancing.”

Participants who were shown the video that gave examples of how stress can be enhancing were less stressed out during the interview, felt more confident while speaking, and gave better interviews (as rated both by themselves and the judges). Even more impressively, although normally a stress response causes a person’s blood vessels to constrict, the blood vessels of participants who saw the pro-stress video remained relaxed.

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

The Power Of Your Stress Mindset

So, a 3-minute video was able to change the way people responded to a stressful situation, not just psychologically, but physiologically. When we think stress is something we must avoid, stress becomes a negative feedback loop. We experience stress, we think it’s a bad thing, and then our stress makes us even more stressed (and on and on).

But, when we think stress is just a natural part of life, or even a good thing, we are able to embrace it instead of being controlled by it. This not only allows us to perform better in stressful situations, it also enables us to make healthier decisions (because we won’t attempt to avoid stress with unhealthy coping behaviors).

How do you handle stress? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Life

One Piece Of Simple Advice That Changed My Life.

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Image Credit: Unsplash / Danilo Santos
“Stay positive no matter what happens.”

That’s one simple piece of advice that changed my life.

I learned the importance of this advice the hard way when my life was traveling along just nicely. I had a high paying job, a booming blogging career, a partner who loved me, and enough money to live and enjoy a few simple pleasures.

I got to travel overseas to exotic locations and work even allowed me to have some pretty unique experiences like sleeping on a yacht and going surfing with a crazy bunch of entrepreneurs.

I thought I had it all.

People looked at my life and thought it was spectacular.


Deep inside of me, I knew something was not quite right.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something about this so-called perfect life felt wrong.

Before I knew it, I broke up with my girlfriend, lost all of my work colleagues to competitors and found myself staring into a glass half full of instant coffee.

When I hit challenges, I found myself getting pissed off. I’d say to myself “Why me?” and “Get out of my way idiot, you’re blocking the path in front of me.”

How could an internet proclaimed self-help blogger have these crazy, messed up thoughts?

What was wrong was I’d forgotten how to stay positive. I thought that I was past the point of having to deal with challenges and I’d reached a level that I could never go back from.

“Personal development and inspirational content can make you feel invincible — especially when you’re the one creating it”

Sometimes the very thing you preach can be the one thing that is your own downfall.

As I analyzed the situation, I saw that I’d forgotten how to practice positivity.


How does one practice positivity?

By deciding to. Positivity is a choice.

Positivity is like going on an adventure and forcing yourself to see at least one good thing about the journey.

One little hack I used was writing down three things each day I was grateful for. I forced myself to do it at work and locked it into my diary for 9 am every morning.

During the career challenges I mentioned earlier, the lady that sits a few desks away from me described my situation as like being on the Titanic. She called my business unit the “Sinking Ship.”

Outside forces are going to have an effect on you if you let them. I chose to see positivity in what she was saying. I wrote down notes of how this could be positive.

It took a while, but eventually, I got the answer: The Titanic she described was a forced career change into something I liked even more. I’d become comfortable and that was the issue.

At that moment, I realized that I had the power within me to always see positivity if I wanted to.


It’s not about getting rid of negative thoughts necessarily.

It takes a lot of energy to remove or block negative thoughts. Choosing positivity is a much easier process to go through and it takes less energy.

Committing to yourself that there is at least one good outcome from every situation, forces your mind into positivity. It can be done.

You’re supposed to have negative thoughts. They keep you alive. Having zero negative thoughts is impossible. What helped me was balancing my thoughts to be more of the positive variety.


Gossiping and complaining breeds the opposite outcome.

Trying to stay positive no matter what is extremely difficult when you’re in conversations with people who are egging you on to complain, or gossip about someone or something.

The temptation is huge because whether we like it or not, it feels good.

The trouble with complaining or gossiping is that it only breeds more negativity.

You’re asking your brain to dish up negative possibilities and recall negative situations. The other person’s reaction to your negativity only rewards your brain for its hard work.

You can’t focus on being positive if you deliberately hijack your brain every time with gossip talk and picking faults with your co-workers.

People stuff up; they have different beliefs to you; they have other priorities.

Gossiping and complaining doesn’t make anyone else wrong. It does make you practice negativity though and that’s not going to change your life.


Take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you being positive most of the time? When I asked myself this question, I could see clearly that I was not.

I’d fallen into bad habits and allowed outside forces to manipulate my thoughts and turn them toxic.

My life started to change when I acknowledged what was going on and took ownership for it.

“It’s damn hard to admit as a self-help blogger that you’re being extremely negative and ruining your own success. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. Either way, this reality was my truth and I owned it!”

Ignoring the problem is not going to make it magically disappear.

So, what did I do?

  • Stayed clear of the people who were fuelling my negativity
  • Focused on the positivity that already existed in my life like blogging, love and family
  • Chose a new career path that was closer to what I loved
  • Spent more time with other bloggers to learn how they dealt with negativity
  • Took accountability and stopped focusing on outside interference
  • Doubled down on my blogging so I could spread more positivity
  • Spent lots of time watching videos on a Facebook page called Human Kindness

Above all else, one thing that helped was being more kind.

When you’re kind to everyone you encounter, positivity comes at you a hundred miles an hour.

People will make you feel positive when you are kind towards them. You don’t have to hand out millions of dollars in donations or build an orphanage either.

Simple acts of kindness like holding the door open, complimenting someone, or letting a driver into your lane is all it takes.


Tragedy will strike everyone.

That’s not something to be sad about it’s just a fact of life. When you can go through any event and always find a way to be positive, you’re able to recover much quicker. This allows you to support others during these tough times.


Positivity can make you see another way.

By seeing positivity, you’ll discover other options that those around you can’t see.

“Positivity is closely linked to creativity”

Seeing hidden opportunities doesn’t happen when you’re pissed off and want to kill your neighbor because of their dog that always barks when you’re sleeping.

Positivity sparks possibility and that’s where your next opportunity will come from.


Final thought.

Positivity really is the simple advice that will change your life. We can all use more of it and it’s missing in so many souls around the world. Find another way to move forward and don’t be afraid to take a step back once in a while.

Choose positivity in every situation and your life will change. You’ll see a brighter future, and better yet, you’ll create that future for yourself.

You deserve to be fulfilled and do what you love. Let positivity get you there faster.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Simple Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Life for the Better

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Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Change lies in our ability to create better decisions for ourselves, and we can only do this by establishing a healthy mindset. Learn how to create a better life for yourself by improving your state of mind. I am going to help you get a little closer to the satisfying life you deserve by giving you some simple tips that hav completely changed the way I think of life.

Here are 4 simple things you can do to change your life right now:

1. What is making you unhappy?

Go to a quiet place to sit and think about your life. Take as much time as you need to think about why your life is the way it is. What in your life is going wrong? Why are you feeling this way? If something could fix the way you are feeling, what would it be? Write down all the things that are hindering your quest to life satisfaction and be specific. Then, write down solutions to each problem. This part is critical because it shows that your pain can be solved and therefore is temporary. It also shows that it is up to you to start your journey to a better you.

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn

2. Improve Your Self-Awareness

Intellectual dishonesty is the worst thing we can do to our psyche. It is important to move beyond that barrier to improve self-awareness, which will then improve our lives. Your self-awareness is the ability to evaluate your own actions, feeling, desires and the negative and positive impact they have had on you and your environment. Be honest with yourself and create a list of things you should improve on and work towards those goals. Your list can include things such as, less aggressiveness; more patience or being more open to other people.

3. Put Away Your Phone

It is so easy to check out because of our phones. That little device can do pretty much anything, and we are under its spell. When was the last time you were with your loved ones without your phone being present? Even when you put it away, you keep it on the table and the urge to check it continues to grow.

That is called an addiction. Addiction is not limited to drugs, they can extend to objects or people as well. This unhealthy behavior prevents you from experiencing the present. Learn how to step away from your phone and cultivate your life.

Learn a new language, read a book or indulge in some arts and crafts. Brainstorm some awesome ideas that could lead to great cash flow. You have a ton of other things that you could be doing that will help you in the long run. When you go out with friends and family, turn off your phone and put it away. If someone calls, and it is important, they can leave a voicemail. Texts are not urgent…. because it’s a text. That person could easily call and if they care, they’ll leave a voicemail too.

The bottom line is to not let your phone be you crutch. Let your mind wonder and embrace boredom. You’ll be surprised at how creative your mind can get. You can create whole worlds and destroy them all in your mind! That is fascinating on its own without the help of a device.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Give

Give something to someone at least once a day. This shifts the mindset from, “what I don’t have” to “what do I have to give?” Offer to buy your co-worker’s lunch; help someone with their computer; hold the door open for someone. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself and help others feel lighter on their feet. You could also volunteer or donate some of your belongings that are in good condition. Trust me, someone out there needs them, and they don’t care if it is out of fashion.

To live a better life, we must create a healthier way of thinking. Once our mind is healed, only then we will be able to live our best life. The goal is to create a healthy mindset, so we can make high-quality decisions that will lead to a more satisfying life.   

How are you improving your life today? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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What You Can Learn From My Ultimate “I Am Screwed” Moment.

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When I was 16 years old, I had the ultimate “I am screwed moment.”

Everything from this point on happened in slow motion. What I’m about to describe probably happened in the space of thirty minutes but it felt like five hours.

I was walking down the street with my buddy one night, eating a paddle pop ice cream. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a group of about twenty teenagers running towards us, dressed in black.

I instantly knew that something was up and as they got closer, we both realized we were screwed and there was nowhere to run to.

Seconds later the gang of teenagers came straight towards us as fast as they could.

“I got lucky and copped a baseball bat to the head. My friend wasn’t so lucky. He was repeatedly stabbed by several different people and there was blood everywhere.”

As I saw what happened to my friend, I knew I’d be next. I was hit so many times with the baseball bat that I was numb from the pain. Everything started to go white.

Then I heard a faint voice. The voice was calling my name out.

I listened to what the young man was saying and realized he was saying that his little brother knew me. All of a sudden, he put out his hand, lifted me off the ground and told me to run in the other direction, or I’d end up like my friend.

I somehow managed to get on my feet and run, but I was not giving up on my friend. I ran around the back of the shopping center that we were standing outside of and entered the building. I ran to the first security guard I saw and told them I needed help.

In my search to get help, miraculously, my friend had made it into the shopping center and he was being treated by a number of bystanders for his massive knife wounds.

I went over and spoke to him. He was okay and things looked better than I expected. I had about sixty seconds of calmness. Then I looked to my left.

Through the glass doors, I could see the same gang of teenagers running into the shopping center. Everyone including the two security guards ran in opposite directions.

My friend with his multiple knife wounds also ran and there were bandages everywhere as he made a run for it (I’m not even sure how he was able to move).

This time I was the unlucky one. I ran into the part of the shopping center that was closed for the night and three of the youths followed me. I’d never been so afraid because I saw what they did to my friend.

I ended up in the shopping centers food court and I hid in the darkness. I tried to control my breathing, but it was hard to silence the fear inside of me. I still remember the white Nike pants I was wearing and the bright red Sean John jumper I had on (I later discarded them because of the memory they left).

Again, through some kind of miracle, the three boys did not see me. They ran off in another direction and I stayed under the table.

The pain of my wounds started to set in. I knew deep down I was safe and so the fight or flight response was turned off. All of a sudden, moving and walking felt very painful.

I could feel broken bits of teeth in my mouth.


The aftermath.

After some time had passed, I manage to reconnect with my friend. By that time there was an ambulance on the scene and he managed to get his knife wounds treated. He got lucky and no vital organs were affected.

The next day I went to school and people could see I had gone through one hell of an ordeal. One of my friends in the year level below, came and found me and explained to me that it was his older brother and friends that attacked me.

They had mistakenly thought that we had come from a party, because of the direction we came from, where he was beaten up. He told me that because they had recognized me, to some degree, I was spared.

The story doesn’t end here though (I wish it did). Even after the brutal event, one of the attackers was still upset with me. I didn’t know why and it made no sense. I had multiple times where he and his friends were waiting for me in certain places and I was told they would harm me.

Through a mutual friend, I was able to resolve the conflict and I found out that a few of them were close friends with a few of my friends. In the coming years, I got to know my attackers.

“They were not the horrible violent people I encountered on that night. They slowly changed their ways and one of them has gone on to do extraordinary kind acts all over the world.”


A revelation from this “I am screwed” moment.

After this horrible event had occurred, I tried to make sense of it. I was not a violent person in any way but in a way, I had created this path for myself.

During my teenage years, I let rap music and violence dominate my life. I thought they were both cool.

The revelation from all of this was that I knew I had to change my life. I knew that the path I was on had led me to this moment and only I could change things. The next time an attack like this happened, I may not be as lucky.

I gave up rap music, I changed my group of friends, I started a business with my brother, I quit smoking and I disengaged from anything that was violent. Looking back, an “I am screwed” moment can be extremely valuable. It’s during these difficult times that we learn about who we are and what we can do to change our lives.

I would never have become obsessed with legacy, giving back and personal development if I hadn’t had this life or death experience.

I’m now fully aware of my mortality and I’m never going to take another day for granted.

Everything can change in a split second for better or for worse. What you do in that moment is up to you.

Nothing happens randomly (even this attack). Everything happens for a reason and when you ensure you get the lesson from it, you can go on to do extraordinary things.

I’m typing these words and reaching millions of people with them, partly because of this “I am screwed” moment.


If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Sammy Blackmore

    Oct 17, 2016 at 1:15 am

    This is really a great read. As for me, I have completely eliminated watching TV news and shows cos of the extremely biased media and stupid shows.

  2. Rondol

    Oct 13, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    This is a great article Damian, I do believe that these 3 “modern diseases ” play a major role in preventing people from being successful in life. I don’t play video games, I hardly watch TV and I’m breaking into the habit of using Facebook two time per week. I mainly use Facebook to listen to inspirational videos.

  3. Lynn

    Oct 13, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    Social media has made us anti-social. I enjoy these type of sites, and the physical fitness ones. So easy to overdo it. Moderation is how YOU manage the beast.

  4. Steve

    Apr 8, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    I couldn’t disagree more. I watch all the TV I want, play video games when I want and if it wasn’t for social media I wouldn’t have read this (I guess that is an argument for getting rid of social media haha) and I am highly successful and very happy. I stumbled on your site via Twitter and have enjoyed most of what I have read but this is just way off base. I say do what makes you happy.

  5. Heather

    Jun 22, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Love it! I hate video games, and very rarely watch TV. I do use social media in my business promotions though, so that was the main one I struggled with, as I often found personal social media creeping into professional social media time. So, I took the apps off my phone (so I have to be sat in front of my Mac working to access them) and I block off specific time during the day to check my social media. And like a charm, my life has become instantly less complicated and more productive.

    Great post – thanks!

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 23, 2015 at 9:07 am

      Hey Heather, I have to thank you for adding to the discussion with your experience. Do you use any app to block social media sites for certain period of time during the day?

  6. Kwing

    Jun 18, 2015 at 2:30 am

    Hey this is a really nice article! I do collect and play video games but I only play around 2 hours on a saturday weekend. I just play to release the tension from the week’s hard work and to refresh myself. 🙂

    You were right, there were people who don’t go out anymore and they only spend their time playing games. There are plenty of great stuff that we can do with our time!

    If only they can transfer their time I’d be super glad to receive it! 🙂

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 18, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      Hey kwing, thanks for adding to the discussion.

      It’s great that you have self-control and play only in the weekends. Well done!

  7. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Like Andrew Carnegie said,

    “If you want to be happy, set a goal that
    commands your thoughts, liberates your
    energy, and inspires your hopes.”
    – Andrew Carnegie

    (replace “happy” with free from the bondage of time wasting pursuits)

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      Andrew Carnegie was a very wise man.This quote is pure gold and timeless even if it’s decades old.

  8. Robb Mann

    Jun 15, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Hey Damian,

    I went over to D&C, good stuff! I signed up, keep up the great work!

    Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. I agree, with you sometimes the extreme is necessary, like in the case of the alcoholic that may not have a social drink in light of the binge that would surely follow.

    We have a book called “Taming the Techno-Beast” that I have had our children read. It also deals with the life sucking nature of consuming your time with technology, written for children.

    After reading your post I am left thinking that these “modern diseases” are best brought under control by creating an even more compelling future than these pursuits offer. It’s always going to be more effective to replace your habits than STOP them. Throwing the stuff out is good and does “create tragedy” but – how many times do we resolve to stop a thing and find ourselves back at it before we know it? I’m sure it works for some people, however, my mind tells me, “you manufactured this tragedy, now give me back my stuff!”

    What works for me is to find greater pleasure in my future or I will find it instantly right NOW with games, stories, and social validation. If we track our progress toward our goals we find daily motivation and leverage game mechanics, thus replacing the need for games. To replace TV, we face challenges toward our goals which give us our own stories to tell or just entertain ourselves with instead of needing to live vicariously through others on TV. To need social validation less we find validation through achievement. This also is a function of game mechanics where we would count “likes” we see the measured progress, and viola validation!

    Thank you for the opportunity to respond, I hope this adds value to your discussion!
    Robb

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 1:03 pm

      Hey Robb, thanks for your kind words.

      You are totally right about everything you said , throwing something out of our lives might not work sometimes if we don’t replace it with something else which should be obviously better. Throwing out a negative habit is just the first step.

      I have to say that this was an amazingly insightfull comment!

      • Robb

        Jun 15, 2015 at 4:48 pm

        Thank you Damian,
        Again, I appreciate the post as well.
        Robb

  9. Damian Pros

    Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

    Hey Usman,

    Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

  10. Fredrick Mutooni

    Jun 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    The three things you listed are exactly oposite of what your talking about. The first two listed as Video games and TV i have no commeents because i have no interest in either. However to say instagram is controlling you is wrong. Yrs back i could not talk to people outside my village. Now i do through social networks. If thats wrong then i let it be wrong but i love it

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:29 am

      Hey Fredrick,

      I totally agree with you. I agreed inside the article “Social media can be a really great tool to communicate, connect and meet new people or even help your business grow. They have a great power, but you have to use them in the right way”.

      BUT, it depends on HOW you use social media. You are probably using instagram the rigth way. But do you know how many people I see going out for a coffee or a drink with their friends and are scrolling down their instagram timeline instead of socializing with the real people they have in front of them?

      I also see young men in the university wasting time in instagram or facebook when they are in the classroom and they have lesson. Why are you going to the classrom in the first place then?

      I guesst you can see my point..Thanks for sharing your opinion!

      • Abel

        Jun 15, 2015 at 11:13 am

        Great article I believe millions of people in the western world fall victim of this disease unknowingly, in response to Fredrick I understand your point and it`s valid, but I think the author is speaking from a western perspective and his point is very valid and no one from this part of the world can disagree that these things will do you more bad than good. But I think it`s awesome you are able to connect with different people from your village.

        • Damian Pros

          Jun 15, 2015 at 1:07 pm

          Hey abel, as you correctly understood I was referring mostly to the western world. Nice observation.

  11. Damian Pros

    Jun 14, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    Hey lawrence,

    You are spot on about what you said. You don’t have to eliminate them completely but sometimes it’s difficult to find a balance between these activities and your goals. That’s why I suggested to eliminate them completely. Even if you are the most disciplined person in the world you can fall into the temptation and watch 2 hours TV instead of commiting to your goal.

  12. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 14, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    These are truly some things that have made people waste valuable time. They can be really addicting because they are fun to do, but you have to ask yourself, when you play video games or are watching television, are you really contributing to accomplishing your dreams. I don’t think you have to give up these things entirely because we all can use time to ourselves and our hobbies, but definitely limit the time spent doing these activities.

  13. Usman Mahmood

    Jun 14, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    Enjoyed reading this article especially where you highlighted that personal growth occurs because of two main reasons, which is so true. Definitely a good read for the younger generation because they often lose focus and motivation to pursue their goals because of these modern diseases.

    • Damian Pros

      Jun 15, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Hey Usman,

      Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it.

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Life

5 Mindset Shifts You Can Steal From the Movies to Have Blockbuster Success

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If only our clients had the passion of Potterheads. Remember the midnight premiers? Potterheads lined up for hours, dressed in full costume, wands a-blazin’. When the doors finally opened, they couldn’t throw their money at the ticket booth fast enough. How do you create that kind of enthusiasm for your own business?

I’m going to share five mindset shifts straight out of the movie business that you can use to fuel lifelong fanatics. Some of it is going to be tough love, but hey, nobody said getting your own fan club was easy.

1. Stay humble, stay hungry

Working actors audition an average of 67 times before booking a gig. 67 times! And that’s working actors—people who earn their entire livelihood from acting. Most entrepreneurs will hear this stat and say, “I get it. I need to accept failure 66 times.” But this isn’t about that. It’s about showing up 67.

Accepting failure is passive. You can accept failure from your couch. Showing up and trying, however, is active. When you show up, you commit to taking a step forward. And 66 times, you’ll get knocked down. It’s humbling. But on attempt 67, that step forward might finally stick.

Mindset shift: You have an insatiable appetite for success. You know that every failure is one failure down and that, soon, you’ll knock it out of the park.

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

2. Treat your audience as kings

The box office doesn’t care what the director’s intentions were, how cool the writer is, or if the lead actor was featured in some fancy magazine, it cares about people in seats. And when thematic costumes clothe them (ala Potterheads), there are more of them.

In movies and entrepreneurship, your most critical metrics depend on your audience’s choices. So, the sooner you start treating your audience as kings and making everything about them, the sooner your metrics will start climbing.

How does the Harry Potter franchise treat Potterheads as kings? Movie premiers are 100% about the fans. They get to feel cool in costume, show off to friends, be among the first, hang out with other super-fans, and more. No matter what, putting your audience’s desire ahead of your own will always pay off in the long run.

Mindset shifts: Other entrepreneurs pursue immediate recognition. But you know that the more special you make your audience feel, the more success you’ll have down the road.

3. Depict compelling transformations

Humans have a fundamental desire for transformation. We love watching movies about redemption, growing up, settling down, overcoming adversity, underdogs, and more. Harry Potter is full of that stuff. Heck, the series even allowed a generation of readers to transform into adults alongside Harry.

This is why Before and After pictures are so incredibly persuasive. They help us to visualize the change we crave. And every single product or service on the market offers some form of transformation. All you have to do is call it out.  

Mindset shift: Bad entrepreneurs sell products. Good entrepreneurs sell solutions. Entrepreneurs who create rabid fans sell transformation.

4. Trust the fundamentals

When I took my first screenwriting class, the number of hyper-specific rules shocked me. Did you know that about 20 minutes into every movie, something dramatic changes in the protagonist’s life and propels them into a new world?

Don’t believe me? Time it. Unsurprisingly, one kid in my class completely ignored the rules. Even more unsurprisingly, his scripts sucked. When my professor called him out, the kid blubbered, “But Tarantino—” To which my professor replied, “Are you Tarantino?” No. No, he was not Tarantino.

The difference between you, me, that kid, and Tarantino is that Tarantino paid his dues. It’s extremely rare to find someone who became successful by completely ignoring the conventions of their craft. And the same is true for entrepreneurship.

Mindset shift: Nobody is “above” learning the fundamentals. You know that by appreciating the current structures and systems, you will be better poised to disrupt them in the future.

“If you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.” – Steve Jobs

5. Kill your darlings

Once upon a time, an animation studio was four years into creating a film about the ocean. They had sunk thousands of hours, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into the project. Then, the unthinkable happened… Finding Nemo. You know what the studio did with their ocean movie? They scrapped it.

As entrepreneurs, once we invest a lot of time and energy into something, we’re afraid to abandon it—even if the circumstances that made it worth pursuing in the first place don’t exist anymore. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s important to remember that regardless of if you keep chugging along, the investment you made is unrecoverable. On the flip side, the gains you made are still valuable. The only choice you have is how you move forward—and sometimes, that means changing course.

Mindset shift: No effort goes to waste, even if the resulting work becomes irrelevant. Instead of letting your ego rule your decisions, you choose the best course of action and move on.

Building enthusiasm for your business is a slow but crucial process. What techniques have you pulled from other fields to help connect with your audience?

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Life

How Stress Can Actually Improve the Quality of Your Life

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Naturally, those of us who experience less stress in our lives are more likely to succeed. So, it’s important that you learn how to reduce your daily level of stress, right? Maybe not. Recent research has shown the common wisdom about stress might be dangerously inaccurate. Psychologists tracked the health of 30,000 adults in the United States over an 8-year period. Participants were asked two important questions:

1.    “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?”
2.    “Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?”

The researchers found that people who experienced high levels of stress were 43% more likely to die in the study’s 8-year period. Doesn’t that prove stress is in fact bad for your health? Not exactly, stress was only harmful to the people who believed stress was harmful.

Those people who experienced high amounts of stress but didn’t believe it was harmful to their health were less likely to die than all other groups in the study. They were even less likely to die than the people who experienced low levels of stress (but believed stress is harmful.)

Put simply, people who believe that stress is not harmful live longer lives than those who believe it is. This study showed that it might not be stress that damages our health, but our beliefs about stress that damages our health.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

Breakthroughs In Stress Research

At first, this might be hard to believe. Kelly McGonigal elegantly explains this phenomenon in The Upside of Stress, “Stress mindsets are powerful because they affect not just how you think but also how you act. When you view stress as harmful, it is something to be avoided. Feeling stressed becomes a signal to try to escape or reduce the stress. And indeed, people who endorse a stress-is-harmful mindset are more likely to say that they cope with stress by trying to avoid it.”

People who believe stress is negative are more likely to avoid it by smoking, binge-eating, or watching too much TV. Afterwards, their physical health pays the price. Fortunately, research has shown that your beliefs about stress can be changed – and changing them has powerful benefits.

A study by Jeremy Jameson and colleagues had people endure a grueling social stress test. Participants were asked to give a 5-minute impromptu speech about their personal weaknesses to a panel of judges. To make this situation even more stressful, the judges were instructed to give negative feedback to the participant giving the speech. This study wasn’t just about sadistically putting people through social pressure, it was testing whether a mindset intervention could change how people react to stress.

Before giving the impromptu speech, participants were shown one of two videos:

  • The first video opened with the message, “Most people think that stress is negative… but research shows that stress is even more debilitating than you expect.”
  • The second video opened with, “Most people think that stress is negative… but actually research shows that it is enhancing.”

Participants who were shown the video that gave examples of how stress can be enhancing were less stressed out during the interview, felt more confident while speaking, and gave better interviews (as rated both by themselves and the judges). Even more impressively, although normally a stress response causes a person’s blood vessels to constrict, the blood vessels of participants who saw the pro-stress video remained relaxed.

“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.” – David Allen

The Power Of Your Stress Mindset

So, a 3-minute video was able to change the way people responded to a stressful situation, not just psychologically, but physiologically. When we think stress is something we must avoid, stress becomes a negative feedback loop. We experience stress, we think it’s a bad thing, and then our stress makes us even more stressed (and on and on).

But, when we think stress is just a natural part of life, or even a good thing, we are able to embrace it instead of being controlled by it. This not only allows us to perform better in stressful situations, it also enables us to make healthier decisions (because we won’t attempt to avoid stress with unhealthy coping behaviors).

How do you handle stress? Comment below!

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Life

One Piece Of Simple Advice That Changed My Life.

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“Stay positive no matter what happens.”

That’s one simple piece of advice that changed my life.

I learned the importance of this advice the hard way when my life was traveling along just nicely. I had a high paying job, a booming blogging career, a partner who loved me, and enough money to live and enjoy a few simple pleasures.

I got to travel overseas to exotic locations and work even allowed me to have some pretty unique experiences like sleeping on a yacht and going surfing with a crazy bunch of entrepreneurs.

I thought I had it all.

People looked at my life and thought it was spectacular.


Deep inside of me, I knew something was not quite right.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Something about this so-called perfect life felt wrong.

Before I knew it, I broke up with my girlfriend, lost all of my work colleagues to competitors and found myself staring into a glass half full of instant coffee.

When I hit challenges, I found myself getting pissed off. I’d say to myself “Why me?” and “Get out of my way idiot, you’re blocking the path in front of me.”

How could an internet proclaimed self-help blogger have these crazy, messed up thoughts?

What was wrong was I’d forgotten how to stay positive. I thought that I was past the point of having to deal with challenges and I’d reached a level that I could never go back from.

“Personal development and inspirational content can make you feel invincible — especially when you’re the one creating it”

Sometimes the very thing you preach can be the one thing that is your own downfall.

As I analyzed the situation, I saw that I’d forgotten how to practice positivity.


How does one practice positivity?

By deciding to. Positivity is a choice.

Positivity is like going on an adventure and forcing yourself to see at least one good thing about the journey.

One little hack I used was writing down three things each day I was grateful for. I forced myself to do it at work and locked it into my diary for 9 am every morning.

During the career challenges I mentioned earlier, the lady that sits a few desks away from me described my situation as like being on the Titanic. She called my business unit the “Sinking Ship.”

Outside forces are going to have an effect on you if you let them. I chose to see positivity in what she was saying. I wrote down notes of how this could be positive.

It took a while, but eventually, I got the answer: The Titanic she described was a forced career change into something I liked even more. I’d become comfortable and that was the issue.

At that moment, I realized that I had the power within me to always see positivity if I wanted to.


It’s not about getting rid of negative thoughts necessarily.

It takes a lot of energy to remove or block negative thoughts. Choosing positivity is a much easier process to go through and it takes less energy.

Committing to yourself that there is at least one good outcome from every situation, forces your mind into positivity. It can be done.

You’re supposed to have negative thoughts. They keep you alive. Having zero negative thoughts is impossible. What helped me was balancing my thoughts to be more of the positive variety.


Gossiping and complaining breeds the opposite outcome.

Trying to stay positive no matter what is extremely difficult when you’re in conversations with people who are egging you on to complain, or gossip about someone or something.

The temptation is huge because whether we like it or not, it feels good.

The trouble with complaining or gossiping is that it only breeds more negativity.

You’re asking your brain to dish up negative possibilities and recall negative situations. The other person’s reaction to your negativity only rewards your brain for its hard work.

You can’t focus on being positive if you deliberately hijack your brain every time with gossip talk and picking faults with your co-workers.

People stuff up; they have different beliefs to you; they have other priorities.

Gossiping and complaining doesn’t make anyone else wrong. It does make you practice negativity though and that’s not going to change your life.


Take a long hard look at yourself.

Are you being positive most of the time? When I asked myself this question, I could see clearly that I was not.

I’d fallen into bad habits and allowed outside forces to manipulate my thoughts and turn them toxic.

My life started to change when I acknowledged what was going on and took ownership for it.

“It’s damn hard to admit as a self-help blogger that you’re being extremely negative and ruining your own success. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. Either way, this reality was my truth and I owned it!”

Ignoring the problem is not going to make it magically disappear.

So, what did I do?

  • Stayed clear of the people who were fuelling my negativity
  • Focused on the positivity that already existed in my life like blogging, love and family
  • Chose a new career path that was closer to what I loved
  • Spent more time with other bloggers to learn how they dealt with negativity
  • Took accountability and stopped focusing on outside interference
  • Doubled down on my blogging so I could spread more positivity
  • Spent lots of time watching videos on a Facebook page called Human Kindness

Above all else, one thing that helped was being more kind.

When you’re kind to everyone you encounter, positivity comes at you a hundred miles an hour.

People will make you feel positive when you are kind towards them. You don’t have to hand out millions of dollars in donations or build an orphanage either.

Simple acts of kindness like holding the door open, complimenting someone, or letting a driver into your lane is all it takes.


Tragedy will strike everyone.

That’s not something to be sad about it’s just a fact of life. When you can go through any event and always find a way to be positive, you’re able to recover much quicker. This allows you to support others during these tough times.


Positivity can make you see another way.

By seeing positivity, you’ll discover other options that those around you can’t see.

“Positivity is closely linked to creativity”

Seeing hidden opportunities doesn’t happen when you’re pissed off and want to kill your neighbor because of their dog that always barks when you’re sleeping.

Positivity sparks possibility and that’s where your next opportunity will come from.


Final thought.

Positivity really is the simple advice that will change your life. We can all use more of it and it’s missing in so many souls around the world. Find another way to move forward and don’t be afraid to take a step back once in a while.

Choose positivity in every situation and your life will change. You’ll see a brighter future, and better yet, you’ll create that future for yourself.

You deserve to be fulfilled and do what you love. Let positivity get you there faster.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

4 Simple Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Life for the Better

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self improvement
Image Credit: Twenty20.com

Change lies in our ability to create better decisions for ourselves, and we can only do this by establishing a healthy mindset. Learn how to create a better life for yourself by improving your state of mind. I am going to help you get a little closer to the satisfying life you deserve by giving you some simple tips that hav completely changed the way I think of life.

Here are 4 simple things you can do to change your life right now:

1. What is making you unhappy?

Go to a quiet place to sit and think about your life. Take as much time as you need to think about why your life is the way it is. What in your life is going wrong? Why are you feeling this way? If something could fix the way you are feeling, what would it be? Write down all the things that are hindering your quest to life satisfaction and be specific. Then, write down solutions to each problem. This part is critical because it shows that your pain can be solved and therefore is temporary. It also shows that it is up to you to start your journey to a better you.

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn

2. Improve Your Self-Awareness

Intellectual dishonesty is the worst thing we can do to our psyche. It is important to move beyond that barrier to improve self-awareness, which will then improve our lives. Your self-awareness is the ability to evaluate your own actions, feeling, desires and the negative and positive impact they have had on you and your environment. Be honest with yourself and create a list of things you should improve on and work towards those goals. Your list can include things such as, less aggressiveness; more patience or being more open to other people.

3. Put Away Your Phone

It is so easy to check out because of our phones. That little device can do pretty much anything, and we are under its spell. When was the last time you were with your loved ones without your phone being present? Even when you put it away, you keep it on the table and the urge to check it continues to grow.

That is called an addiction. Addiction is not limited to drugs, they can extend to objects or people as well. This unhealthy behavior prevents you from experiencing the present. Learn how to step away from your phone and cultivate your life.

Learn a new language, read a book or indulge in some arts and crafts. Brainstorm some awesome ideas that could lead to great cash flow. You have a ton of other things that you could be doing that will help you in the long run. When you go out with friends and family, turn off your phone and put it away. If someone calls, and it is important, they can leave a voicemail. Texts are not urgent…. because it’s a text. That person could easily call and if they care, they’ll leave a voicemail too.

The bottom line is to not let your phone be you crutch. Let your mind wonder and embrace boredom. You’ll be surprised at how creative your mind can get. You can create whole worlds and destroy them all in your mind! That is fascinating on its own without the help of a device.

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

4. Give

Give something to someone at least once a day. This shifts the mindset from, “what I don’t have” to “what do I have to give?” Offer to buy your co-worker’s lunch; help someone with their computer; hold the door open for someone. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself and help others feel lighter on their feet. You could also volunteer or donate some of your belongings that are in good condition. Trust me, someone out there needs them, and they don’t care if it is out of fashion.

To live a better life, we must create a healthier way of thinking. Once our mind is healed, only then we will be able to live our best life. The goal is to create a healthy mindset, so we can make high-quality decisions that will lead to a more satisfying life.   

How are you improving your life today? Comment below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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