Connect with us

Life

3 Life Mistakes You Are Making Today That’s Impacting Your Success

Published

on

3 Life Mistakes You Are Making Today That is Impacting Your Success

As a psychiatrist in New York City, the folks I see in my practice commonly have come to NY to achieve a level of success.  Many are seeking financial success, artistic success, or success within relationships.

There is no doubt trying to achieve a semblance of success here is quite challenging, frustrating, and draining to our egos.  It doesn’t come easy for many.

As I assist in navigating the course with my clients to achieve success, I tackle various aspects of the human condition that are risks for decreasing one’s ability to feel fulfilled.  Many folks walking through my door have difficulty mastering control of their thoughts, their usage of language, and regulating their emotions.

I am always humbled when someone picks up the phone to contact me to participate in their journey to help them achieve their goals they are hoping to achieve.

Here are three common presentations to my office that commonly impact our ability to achieve success:

 

1. Stop living your life on pause

After my clients and I discuss their long-term goals and what they are looking to achieve, I ask how else do they spend their time? For many, they look at me with a blank stare as if not spending every moment focusing on their goals seems a waste of time.

This is extremely detrimental. Awaking each day solely looking to work towards the long-term goal minimizes and under appreciates other wonderful smaller life moments. Yes, you may not update on facebook how you held the door open for someone or gave your subway seat to an elderly person, but by not doing so and loving yourself for the small moments in life, you will exhaust yourself and feel low for not “achieving” the larger life goals you have set.

Learn to value the small steps. Work on loving yourself for the small successes and “live” in each moment. This is equivalent to walking up a mountain and keeping your head down solely awaiting the peak. By doing so, you miss all the various plant and animal life that make this mountain unique. Keep your head up.

Robert Collier

2. Pay attention to your narrative

We all walk around with the story of our lives. This is where attitude comes into the picture.  Pay attention to the way you use language; within yourself, your inner voice as well as the way you share you narrative with others. For example, I find anyone who moves from another city or a small town to NYC are already incredibly successful. What an achievement. Think of all the steps it took to move here, find an apartment, and make NYC your home.

Unfortunately for many folks, they will tell their narrative along the lines of: “I moved here and nothing has happened.” Though they are not acknowledging how they found a job, pay rent, and developed a social network. They will also say, “Everyone appears to have a better life than me.” Though they have their own albeit small company, or that they were cast in a small film, play, or had their work shown at a gallery.

Focus on if your narrative leans negative.  If so, you are creating a risk for not feeling successful. I question if your narrative regardless of achievements, will ever be enough. By not incorporating positive narratives through small successes, you are not raising your healthy platform; the platform that grows as you continue to take risks and achieve a flow needed to fulfill your long-term dreams.

Be patient.  Love yourself and your story, especially when small successes are achieved.

“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein

3. Be curious like a cat

I understand finding the right mentor to assist you obtaining success is ideal. Who wouldn’t want the CEO of a corporation, the Hollywood actor, or the fashion guru to speak one on one with you and give you absolute guidance? If we are waiting for this type of guidance -guess what?  Life mistake!

There are mentors all around us, including you and I.  We each all have valuable life experiences. It may not be what folks spend top dollar on like they do with a highly popular mentor but it can be just as valuable.

I find we minimize how much we can all learn from each other. A subtle piece of advice about any aspect of our day to day may maximize our positivity to make one part of our life easier, leaving more mental room to focus on obtaining your dreams!  Take note of those around you in your everyday life. You never know what others have seen or learned from their experience.  It can be the guidance you needed to overcome that hurdle! Be curious!

 

Thank you for reading my article. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Dr. Johnny Lops is a practicing psychiatrist in Brooklyn, NY.  He is the former team psychiatrist for the Brooklyn Nets.  His new book is Reinvent Yourself: Essential Tools from a Brooklyn Psychiatrist Who has Seen it All (Tailwinds Press, May 2015).  An accomplished actor and film producer, Lops has starred in numerous stage productions, as well as commercials for Sprite, Budlight, and the NY Knicks.  He is the medical advisor for the boxing website, thesweetscience.com and the medical advisor to the new independent film in production, Life Hack.  He can be reached at www.drjohnnylops.com as well as @drjohnnylops on Twitter

Advertisement
8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Lawrence Berry

    Jun 13, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    These are some great lesson that can help many improve their chances of success and finding happiness within their lives. I really like the one where you sated to live in the small moments and dwell entirely on your long term vision. Sometimes, I have to remind myself of this because I get wrapped up on how I want to my life to be in the future and forget to enjoy those little moments with the people that truly matter to me. When you balance your life, success will come a lot easier. Thanks for this reminder. Great post.

    • Dr. Johnny Lops

      Jun 14, 2015 at 12:48 pm

      Hi Lawrence, thanks for the reply! I agree; we all love to dream and contemplate the big moves ahead, but it’s super important to take it day to day. Keep going strong!

  2. osaretin

    Jun 13, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    I am a student and sometimes I feel down when I look at my cgpa lol, and the road that I have to face if I don’t do so well. But I have dreams to be an IT entrepreneur working on something like a social network with a friend now. It is nice to feel good about the things you have achieved even though they don’t seem so big at the moment. Life is what you make it I believe. Nice piece btw

  3. Joseph Mutori

    Jun 13, 2015 at 5:30 am

    Beautiful article, loved it. I get what somebody should be doing but I didn’t really get what living your life on pause really is about.

  4. speed test app

    Jun 13, 2015 at 1:04 am

    you’re truly a just right webmaster. The website loasding pace is incredible.
    It seems that you’re doing any distinctive trick.
    Furthermore, The contents are masterpiece. you have performed
    a magnificent task on this topic!

  5. kani

    Jun 12, 2015 at 5:31 pm

    Nice piece, it’s totally amazing how we refuse to give ourselves credit for tiny daily victories. The courage to attempt a huge task will be easier gotten if we celebrated the little courage it took to achieve the little task.

  6. Diego Cardona

    Jun 12, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    I have been living in this beautiful and blessed country for about 10 years,I live in NJ, I have a great job as a welder in Queens NY, and some times felt like behind in my life, like I can do more, achieve more, without realizing everything I have and how blessed I am,since my beautiful family, house, and cars, even a dog, not everyone can afford it. Lol, thanks Doc for Opening my eyes.

  7. Jose Retana

    Jun 12, 2015 at 4:07 am

    “Be curious like a cat” -> Love this one haha If perfectly true! Always seek for that information around us (:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How to Steer Your Life in the Right Direction and Define Your Life’s Purpose

Published

on

how to find your life purpose
Image Credit: Unsplash

Do you know that Colonel Harland David Sanders was 65 when he founded Kentucky Fried Chicken, better known in its abbreviated form, KFC? Most of us know Col. Sanders for starting KFC, which is now a big name in the fast-food industry. However, 65 is not the age when people usually find the purpose of life. But again, is there any time limit for finding the purpose of your life? Well, I don’t think so. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

How to Harness the Message Within the Nightmare

Published

on

why you have nightmares
Image Credit: Unsplash

Nightmares are disturbing dreams that strike fear on an individual during sleep. They are commonly associated with past experiences and fears an individual may have encountered but have also been linked to fear of reoccurrences in the future. Nightmares are classified as scary and negative but this is not always true as they can be a sign of expected fears, making nightmares a valuable source of information that can be used to solve pending problems. Dreaming involves exploring memories in one’s subconscious making it a powerful tool if used correctly. This article explores some ways that nightmares can be used to explore and improve your performance and achieve success. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

10 Powerful Tips to Help you Refuel Your Passion

Published

on

how to refuel your passion
Image Credit: Unsplash

The strong emotion which we all feel within ourselves, the desire which keeps life going, is known as passion and it varies with each human and is present in all forms like, singing, dancing, writing, poetry, acting, cooking, making money and more.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Live Your Way To Happiness With Delayed Gratification

Published

on

how to be happy
Image Credit: Unsplash

Human beings are hardwired to want things, and we tend to have the urge to want them right away. Instant gratification is a habit where we forgo long term goals for short term activities. It’s the habit where we indulge in immediate pleasures that ultimately result in long term pain.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending