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3 Easy Steps to Reframe Your Fear and Make It Work For You

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Everybody is afraid of something. Common fears include fear of embarrassment, fear of speaking in front of a group, fear of not measuring up to the expectations of others’, and fear of change.

Fear brings about one of three results. It motivates, it provides safety, or it results in paralysis. The best way to respond to fear is to determine what exactly the fear is, how the fear is affecting you, and what you need to do in order to deal with the fear.

These 3 steps are what will give you control of your fears:

 

1. Defining your fear

Defining your fear requires more work than simply naming your fear. For example, let’s say you have a great new idea for a modification to one of your company’s products. You want to bring it up to your boss, but you know he will ask you to give a presentation.

The idea of doing that makes you break out into a cold sweat. Clearly, this means that you can define your fear as fear of speaking in public, right? Maybe not. Do you always fear speaking in front of others? Maybe you are afraid of your idea being rejected, or that it won’t work?

Your fear could be defined as fear of rejection or fear of failure. Nobody can figure this out for you, it is just something you have to determine on your own. Once you define your fear, you know what you are working with and you are ready to move on to the next step.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” – Henry Ford

2. Determine how your fear is affecting you

Right now, what is your fear doing for you? Is it paralyzing you? Is it keeping you safe? Is it motivating you? There is nothing wrong with fearing things that are dangerous. If a fear keeps you safe from actual danger, that is a healthy fear.

However, it is very easy to confuse fears that truly keep us safe with fears that paralyze us. Here is a trick that may help you determine if your fear is keeping you safe, or simply holding you back. If you stop doing something, based on fear of a legitimate danger, you won’t question yourself.  You won’t feel guilty.

However, if you stop doing something or refuse to do something based on fear, and then find yourself full of doubt and regret, chances are you are letting fear paralyze you, and that is unhealthy. The only thing this leaves is motivation. Is your fear motivating you to challenge yourself and improve yourself? This is a great thing.

 

3. Dealing with your fear

If a fear is leaving you stuck and hindering your success, it needs to be dealt with. This means taking control of the fear and turning it into a source of motivation rather than a roadblock. You’ve already done a lot of great work if you’ve defined your fear and determined the way your fear is impacting your life.

Now you can determine what to do with it. Ask yourself this question? Why do I need to turn this fear into something positive? Let’s go to the example of the presentation that was discussed above. Maybe your fear would be rejection and failure.

That’s fine. That is your definition. Maybe you’ve determined that the impact your fear has is unhealthy avoidance (paralysis). This is also fine. You know how your fear impacts you. Now is the time to make change.

“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” – Bertrand Russell

A few extra action steps

Let’s begin with the one thing that you should not do. You should never belittle or ridicule yourself over your fears. It is unhelpful and you don’t deserve it. Here is a positive step that you can take. You can think of the negative results that you may face, and then figure out ways to turn those into positives.

Let’s say that your presentation goes badly, and the marketing department doesn’t go forward with your idea. Yes, that is a bad thing, but their rejection also means that you made it through your presentation. It is a well-known fact that presentation skills are vital to success, and you’ve just improved your presentation skills a bit. This doesn’t take away the rejection, but it does put it into perspective.

Another thing that you can do is to look externally. Who do you admire? How do other successful people deal with fear? Is there someone else who has dealt with a similar fear as yours and turned it into a point of motivation?

 

Thank you for reading my article! Now it is time to take control of your fears!
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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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