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Success Advice

If You Believe You Have to Fail to Succeed, You Should Quit Now



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You have probably heard quotes like “ No Pain, No Gain” or “The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings.” Do you ever pause for a moment and ask yourself if that is true? Where did those beliefs come from? Why is it that early in our lives we are trained to believe that the only pathway to success is through failure first?

Many people have the limiting belief that to accomplish their goals, dreams or desires they must go through some type of challenge or trauma. But isn’t it also true that we can create our lives from emotional states of peace, love, joy or happiness? 

If you start a business you do not have to go through years of stress, worry and anxiety wondering if you are going to survive or pay the bills. If you have a desire to become an actor/actress, you do not have to bomb an audition to make it to Hollywood. If you have a dream of becoming an elite athlete, you do not have to lose games or not make a team to become the next Michael Jordan.

Oftentimes dream chasers are looking for struggles or challenges in the beginning of their journey. We have all heard it before, what you focus on is what you attract and when you are out searching for the next painful moment to appear, you will find painful moments that continue to show up in your experience.

We look for 99 people to say “No” before we get that first “Yes” and make our first sale for our business. Why? Because we have been taught to believe that failure precedes success. This is not to say that we will not experience struggles, stress or challenges within our lives. But we are greatly limiting the amount of success and joy we can experience in our lives.

“Success isn’t permanent and failure isn’t fatal.” – Mike Ditka

Stop looking for failure

What if you began to question this belief today? What if you were able to create a drastic shift within your own life and success? Instead of feeling that you must be stressed in order to be a successful business owner, what if you could create the business and life of your dreams from peace and excitement.

We understand that progress is what makes us happy. Progress is what gets people excited. When you begin your journey towards your dreams, you do not have to accomplish them overnight but it’s that feeling that you’re moving closer that pumps us up.

You have heard the quotes like “One percent better everyday” and that holds true now more than ever when so many people want immediate results. We see it in the fitness and wellness industry drastically. 

You walk into the gym and tell the trainer you want to lose 30 pounds in 30 days. The trainer responds they are going to help you focus on losing one pound per week and you’re immediately turned off. Then they respond by saying losing one pound a week for the next year, you will be 52 pounds lighter and it will actually be sustainable. Now you’re excited.

This is an easy example as to why people feel they have to fail before reaching their goals. Their focus is on the immediate results not the progress along the way that will help them succeed an even greater goal.

You do not have to gain a pound before you lose a pound. But one pound in seven days is extremely realistic, provides success upfront, puts you in a peak state and keeps you committed.

Another reason why people are looking for failure first because you are not chasing after a dream or goal that you believe in. It’s not something that you are hungry for. You are living with imposter syndrome chasing after a goal you are not genuinely passionate about forcing you to search for challenges.

Focus on your driver, not failure

So, we know that progress is an important driver that puts you in a peak state. Now you might be asking yourself, do I have to wait for a small win to get myself into a peak state? And the answer is no! You can develop small habits and rituals to put yourself in a peak state. This peak state will drive those positive emotions to create success from joy, excitement and happiness.

The best part about it is you get to choose what those daily habits are. There is not a list you must follow; it can be anything that brings you excitement. 

Many popular rituals that people use include…

  • Listening or Watching to inspirational podcast/video
  • Reading a book
  • Meditating
  • Writing in a journal
  • Reading or Rewriting goals
  • Saying or listening to affirmations
  • Talking with friend or colleague that share similar goals

“Failure is not an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night.” – Zig Ziglar

The list is endless. Over time you will find yourself doing a handful of rituals everyday because of the success it brings you. The beauty is you can begin any of these today. They are simple and the most effective pieces towards you obtaining the level of success you desire.

There is no reason you must wait to achieve your goals. Do not buy into the limiting belief that you must experience pain or failure to accomplish your dreams. There are people every day doing in months or years what society says takes years or decades. 

That’s the most wonderful part of life is that we get to create our own destiny. We are the creators of our lives and you do not have to wait for anyone or anything. You get the choice to wake up powerful, empowered, filled with confidence and ready to impact the world.

You deserve all the health, wealth, peace, love, joy, abundance and success. Begin feeling that in your heart now. You are the creator of your reality.

Ryan Romano is the Founder of Extreme Producers, a High Performance and Wellness company. He is a TEDx speaker and consultant with a focus on Mindset, Confidence and The Pursuit of Excellence. He has been featured in Thrive Global, The Good Men Project and consulted with universities including University of Alabama and Rutgers. You can find him on instagram @ryromano or website

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