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3 Daily Choices That Create an Optimized Life and Happier Experiences

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If you took a good hard look in the mirror and thought about your life, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? For too many people, the reality is that you’re not spending your time the way you want to. Too much of your agenda is driven by outside circumstances.

If you thought about what made you happy and how much of that you were incorporating into your life right now, the thought would frustrate you. Successful leadership happens from a place of freedom and the ability to spend your time on what you want to be doing.

If you looked at your goals, how many are what you truly want? If you’re not experiencing the kind of success and growth you’d like in your life, the reality is that your daily choices are keeping you from that place.

If it’s your goal to optimize your growth, which in turn creates more of it and leads to getting more done, it’s time to look at the daily choices you’re making. It’s time to get honest about whether or not you’re making decisions from a place of self-prioritization.

Here are three daily choices that help you pursue growth in a way that aligns with your vision, purpose and the things you want to do. Here’s how to have happier life experiences. 

1. Adjust your schedule to be proactive versus reactionary

Too often, we don’t end up spending the time we’d like to on our goals, dreams, and the things that create freedom. This misalignment happens because we’re living life reactionary. We’re trying to catch up to items on our to-do list, and as we’re doing the work, new demands come in.

When we think about our schedule and what we have to do, we’re always behind instead of being proactive. Successful leaders have figured out that if they’re going to accomplish more and create freedom, their schedule must be optimized and full of power moves.

One of the keys to exponential growth is setting a schedule from a place of self-prioritization and not letting outside circumstances influence your schedule. You create a routine and a schedule that is proactive and allows you to work in focused blocks.

Being proactive means you set boundaries in your schedule, with outside circumstances, and with yourself — to stay focused. Stop living life feeling as if you’re always trying to catch up. Take a breath, look at what makes sense, and create a schedule that allows you to feel like you’re the CEO of your life.

“It is not the length of life, but the depth of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Find an optimized daily routine that works for you

YouTube is littered with “day in the life” videos and “how I start my morning” content. If you looked at those videos, you’d probably be shocked at the number of views, comments, and engagement. These videos are so successful because people are desperately searching for a routine that could work for them.

A lot of those videos tend to be staged, but the idea behind them has some merit. While a specific routine worked for somebody else, it doesn’t mean that routine would be the best fit for your life, archetype, and how your body operates.

To foster optimized growth, you have to find a routine that works for you. That routine might be waking up early in the morning, working later at night, working in two-hour blocks, or everything in between. The key to a powerful routine that allows you to get more done is knowing yourself. This growth starts from a place of self-awareness.

To get more done, accomplish your goals, and live a freedom-based lifestyle, you have to find an optimized routine that allows you to work, play, and live life in a way that makes sense for your architect.

Your success will not necessarily come from modeling the success of somebody else. We’re all human beings and have different goals, ambitions, and archetypes. Successful leaders figure out what schedule and routine work best for them, and they implement it consistently. That’s the key — once you’ve found what works for you, consistency will be the way you create growth.

3. Break up the constant work with pleasure

If the Instagram memes were to be believed, the hustle 24-7 lifestyle is the only way to success. Let me let you in on a little secret — it’s not. Too many leaders are chasing an image of success that burns them out and frustrates them towards the process. If you’re all work with no pleasure built into your life — what’s the point?

Work in a focused way and get more done, but you should also incorporate moments of fun and pleasure. You can create a routine that has you working for a specific time, and the reward for that focused work is pleasure. That pleasure could be watching a fascinating YouTube video, watching TV, playing video games, reading a book, or listening to a podcast.

Only you know what pleasure means for you, but the goal is to train your brain to look forward to a reward for all of your hard work. Dan Miller is quoted as saying that when people look at his life, he doesn’t want them to be able to differentiate between whether he’s working or playing. It all mixes.

You’re working hard on your goals and creating a better version of yourself. You want to create a life that gives you flexibility and freedom. That life should be filled with an abundance of pleasure alongside hard work. Remember why you’re doing this, and remember that you have to take care of yourself first. Human beings are designed to appreciate pleasure.

The success, growth, and accomplishment you seek are possible when you optimize your daily choices and create a life from a place of what you want to be doing. Stop chasing someone else’s image of success, and don’t be influenced by the unseen pictures on social media of what it means to be successful.

If you’re going to have the necessary strength and energy to accomplish your goals and create a successful life, it has to come from an optimized place. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Drive towards the vision of success that you want to attain.

Jason Portnoy is a serial entrepreneur, podcast host, and founder of one of the premier digital marketing agencies. Before creating magic for other brands, Jason launched True Rivalry in 2012. He leveraged social media and digital marketing to grow True Rivalry into a presence in over 250 retail stores across North America, with celebrity fans and appearances on TV shows and movies. Jason knows digital marketing and he's passionate about helping businesses get results. He's an award-winning digital marketing agency owner. Join him at jportnoy.com.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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