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Knowledge Doesn’t Facilitate Change. How Real Transformation Happens

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“OMG! That’s so me!” Have you ever said this after getting your results from a personality test? If you look around the digital space, you’ll see people identifying themselves by their personality types in all kinds of situations, from business to dating. Whether it’s their Myers-Briggs personality type, their DISC personality, their Enneagram type, or even their zodiac sign, personality types have become a way for people to showcase who they are to others.

Here’s where that becomes problematic—identifying too heavily with your personality can disconnect you from who you are. You are not your personality; you have a personality. Your personality grows and evolves with you. That’s why often you’ll hear people say, “I’m not the same person I was five years ago.”

Humans have a deep need to understand and reflect who they are to other people, and personality tests allow people to feel seen, heard, and understood, while also giving people a way to share that information with others. This can serve as a point of connection, but it can also serve to hold you back or can create barriers in your relationships.

Knowledge doesn’t facilitate change

Knowing your personality type is a useful tool. These tests diagnose your strengths and weakness and can even predict your attitudes and behaviors. This information is powerful because it can point you to where change needs to happen in your life. But the problem comes in when knowledge becomes the stopping point.

The reason people learn isn’t to become more knowledgeable. It’s to apply that knowledge in a way that makes life better. So simply becoming aware of your personality, strengths, and weaknesses won’t shift your attitude or behavior. Creating change in your life requires the implementation of transformational techniques and exercises so you can become the best version of yourself. 

Here are some transformational techniques that can help you take the insights you glean from personality tests and turn them into catalysts for unleashing your potential.

1. Transformational Meditation

When I was certified to teach the Enneagram in 1994, in my presentation to Don Riso and Russ Hudson (the foremost authors and teachers of the Enneagram) I took a person in the class who was struggling with one of the common limitations of her personality type. In order to shift the belief system that was holding her back, I took her through the Transformational Meditation™ technique.

Transformational Meditation™ is a spiritual NLP technique that uses a Higher Power to transform limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and to break through someone’s obstacles to performance. By the end of the exercise, her belief system had completely shifted.

The personality test results pointed to where she needed support so that she could take action and shift the things that were holding her back. Transformational Meditation™ was the tool that she used to make the changes she wished to see within herself. 

2. Learning and implementing structure

This may be a surprising technique for changing your life, but structure corrals chaotic energy. When you don’t have structure in your life, it can lead to things like procrastination, stress, and overwhelm. Some personalities are more attuned to structure and organization than others. So when you have a personality type that doesn’t naturally excel at processes, systems, and frameworks, that’s a skill that you can build. The stronger you become at implementing positive structure in your life, the easier it will become to continuously grow.

Structure speaks to your ability to be disciplined and keep your word to yourself. When you have the power to do those two things, you unlock the code to creating profound change because you will have conditioned yourself to keep going when the new habit or standard becomes challenging. 

“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” – Napoleon Hill

3. Cultivating awareness and making empowered choices

When looking to transform your life, you must first understand where you want to implement change. What are the patterns and cycles that are holding you back or sabotaging your progress? If you haven’t identified these things, then you can’t address them.

In order to cultivate more awareness, you need to create a regular practice, where you go within to explore your actions, emotions, and thought patterns. How did those things play out throughout your day? Write them down in a journal and then ask yourself, “Have these things helped me take a step closer to my goals, or have they pushed me away from my goals?” Once you have those answers, ask yourself if those are patterns that you’d like to continue.

Having the awareness of what’s not working for you and making an empowered choice to change will revolutionize your growth. Let’s define what making an empowered choice is. Empowered choices happen when you take time to weigh the options and decide which path is the right one for you instead of knee-jerk reacting to situations. 

How these all work together

Meditation helps you to cultivate awareness and structure helps you to develop the discipline to make empowered choices that transform your life. These elements flow into one another to help you shift your life instead of getting stuck in personality traits that keep you from your goals. Life is too short for a personality test to dictate your destiny. You’re more powerful than that.

Dr. Libby Adams is a speaker, author, and transformation strategist, using her over 30 years of experience in education, leadership, and personal growth to help hundreds of high achievers transform their lives from the inside out, reaching their goals in record time. Dr. Adams is also the founder and president of the International Academy of Self-Knowledge, a master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming, and the creator of Transformational Meditation™. Dr. Adams is also certified in the Dr. Albert Ellis™ method of addiction counseling and is the creator of Spiritual R.E.H.A.B., a 28-day transformational journey for people who do NOT have alcohol or substance abuse issues but who still want to "rehab" something in their lives. Dr. Adams has devoted time as president of the Association for the Integration of the Whole Person and is the presiding president of the AIWP Board of Directors. If you’re interested in learning more, check out www.transformationalmeditation.org.

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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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