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10 Ways To Make This Year Your Best Year Ever

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The beginning of a new year is a special time. For some, it is a time to reflect on the past. For others, it is a time to plan for the future. Most would agree that it’s the perfect time to begin implementing positive changes in your life. There’s just something about the change in a year that signifies a fresh start – a clean slate. The New Year is the year where anything is possible…

But the sad truth is that although so many of us begin a new year with enthusiasm and vigor as we pursue new ambitions and implement new routines, most of us fall back into our old habits within a few weeks. The all too familiar daily grind of life returns to us, and the person that we might have been is overtaken by the person we were last year.

To avoid this fate, you must set yourself up for success. You must recognize that change is uncomfortable, even when it’s for the best. Don’t set New Year’s Resolutions without first setting up a strong foundation for actually following through on those resolutions.

Here are 10 ways to make this year your best year ever:

1. Learn from the past, but don’t repeat it

Take some time to think about all of last year’s experiences, and more importantly, hold on to all the lessons you learned from those experiences. Understand that everything that occurred last year was simply a result. Don’t get caught up in labeling those results as good or bad – as successes or as failures.

Know that results are just feedback. Learn from any mistakes you made and make a commitment not to repeat them. Learn from your successes but don’t let yourself get too complacent or overconfident. The actions that made you successful last year may not be the same actions you need to take this year. Be open to new approaches.

“The right thing to do and the hard thing to do are usually the same.” – Steve Maraboli

2. Get rid of the old, make room for the new

It’s hard to plan for the future when things from the past are still pulling at you. If you’re starting off the new year with unfinished projects from last year, you need to clear those projects from your plate as soon as possible. By getting rid of the old, you make room for the new. Start by listing everything you have not finished, at work and at home.

Once you have that list, go through it slowly and for each item on the list ask yourself whether you absolutely must finish it yourself (and if so, set a time frame for getting it done), whether you can delegate it, or whether you should scrap it entirely. You should also clear your workspace and your home of any unnecessary clutter. Physical organization has a tremendously positive effect on mental organization.

 

3. Put your goals in writing

Anything that is worth achieving is worth putting in writing. Make a list of the major goals that you’d like to achieve this year. Each of these goals should represent a significant milestone in the long term vision for your life and/or business. For example, if you eventually want to publish a book, a major goal would be to finish your first draft.

If you want to become a professional speaker, a major goal would be to speak at a local event. If you would like to start your own coaching business, a major goal would be to create a curriculum for your coaching program.

Once you have your goals in writing, put them in a place where you will see them every day. Give each goal a specific deadline (or at the very least, a chronological order of achieving them), and begin breaking down each of those goals into actionable steps you can take on a daily or weekly basis.

“If you think someone or something other than yourself is responsible for your happiness or success, I’d guess you’re not that happy or successful.” – Rob Liano

4. Exercise

We all know that regular exercise is fundamental to our overall health and well-being, and yet so few of us do it regularly. For many people, the start of a new year provides the motivation they need to adopt an exercise plan. If you stop by your local gym in January, you’d be lucky to find a parking spot.

Go there again in February, and you will find plenty of spots available. The unfortunate truth is that exercise is the one thing everyone knows they should be doing regularly, and it’s often the first habit they drop when they get “too busy” with other things.

Exercise is not something you “have time for”. It is something you make time for. It is also the one thing that provides you with strength, energy, and vitality to be more effective in all the other areas of your life. Exercise is an investment in your health, your life, your longevity, and your productivity. If you think of your daily grind as cutting down a tree, then exercise represents taking a moment to sharpen the saw.

 

5. Build new relationships

The people you know and work with have helped you get to where you are. To get to a new level, you will likely need to surround yourself with some new people. Make it a priority to cultivate new relationships with positive people both inside and outside of your industry.

Offer to help others in any way that you can, and in exchange you will find that others become more inclined to help you however they can. Successful people know the value of a good network. They spend years building and cultivating their network, and as a result, they are presented with fruitful opportunities, and better positioned to take advantage of them as they come.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

6. Learn new skills

New goals require new actions, and new actions typically require new skills. Take a moment to identify some of the skills you would like to acquire this year, and begin looking for the people and resources that can help you acquire those skills.

Whether it’s a local class, an online course, or a seminar, remember that all skills are learnable. Don’t make excuses for not learning new skills. People who stop learning new skills are the first ones to become obsolete in the marketplace.

 

7. Dissolve relationships that don’t support your success

Unfortunately many of us are surrounded by people who do not support our success. Whether they are friends, colleagues, or even relatives, some of these people may try to belittle your ambitions, hold you back, or convince you to quit once you get started.

Understand that you become the average of the people you spend the most time with. If the attitudes, philosophies, and behaviors of the people around you are not aligned with those of the person you intend to become, you must begin dissolving those relationships.

Cutting people out of your life abruptly is likely to cause resentment. In some circumstances this is the best approach, but in many cases it is not, especially if those people are your family members. Instead, it is wise to gradually decrease the amount of time you spend with them, while simultaneously increasing the amount of time you spend with people who support your successes.

 

 

8. Make balance a priority

If this next year is truly going to be your most successful year yet, then it must be successful in all the areas of your life. You don’t want this to be the year where you get a big promotion at work but your relationship with your spouse goes down the drain. You don’t want this to be the year where your business thrives at the expense of your health.

You want this to be the year where you can have your cake and eat it too. Balance is about consistency. If you consistently invest in each area of your life – your career/business, your relationships, your health, your leisure, your spirituality, etc. – then these areas will thrive. If you consistently neglect any of these areas, they will suffer.

Just like with getting exercise, you don’t “have time for it” – you make time for it. And remember that it’s not about the amount of time you give to each area, it’s about the quality of the time you give to each area. Some areas require several hours per day, and some will only require a few hours per week.

 

9. Create a personal development plan

As is true of all living things in the universe, they are either growing or they are dying. There is no stagnation. If you are not continuously learning and growing, you are falling behind. Creating a personal development plan means committing to nourishing your mind with new, empowering information on a consistent basis.

By reading books, listening to audios/podcasts, or attending workshops and seminars, you expose yourself to philosophies, concepts, and ideas that fuel your creativity, spark new ideas, and help you to see things from a new perspective.

 

10. Hold yourself accountable

The last but perhaps most important point to ensure you make this year your best year is to hold yourself accountable. Lack of accountability is one of the single greatest reasons for failure. If no one is holding us accountable for the consistent implementation of new habits or behaviors, we are more likely to fall back into our old patterns. 

The secret to holding yourself accountable is to have a system. Without a system for tracking your daily and weekly activities, and then measuring those against the new standards you’ve set for yourself, failure is almost inevitable. What gets measured gets improved.

How are you going to make this year your best year ever? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
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Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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Life

3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling

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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Life

Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.

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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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