Connect with us


3 Ways To Let Go Of Envy And Be Comfortable With Your Own Path



I have a confession to make. When I see someone else achieving one of my dreams, my stomach drops. I squint my eyes and frown, crossing my arms. With a big sigh, I lay back in my chair and start feeling bad about myself.

Seeing others thriving in your vocation while you’re still struggling can be tough and discouraging. You start to wonder why you’re so behind in the game, and start to think thoughts like, “Am I really good enough to do this? It’s already been done so well by others; what new value could I possibly bring?”

Good news: There is plenty of room for you to succeed in your own way, using your own unique talents. You just have to do a simple mindset switch, and start thinking of your successful peers as tools to further your learning.

Here are 3 tips to help you overcome jealousy and comparison to others, and to help you start accepting and honoring your personal journey:

1. Make peace with your current situation

What has brought you to this place in life? There may not be any good excuses for not accomplishing goals but there are reasons for where you’re at. Life is tough, and it takes time to both learn what we are passionate about, and how we can turn our passion into cash flow.

I drifted through college, doing mediocre work and naively believing things would just fall into place after graduation. When reality set in and I was left with thousands of dollars of debt and no job, I felt lost. It took me several years of awful, meaningless jobs until I finally learned that success takes very hard work, and that I would never be “discovered” or have anything handed to me.

You need to forgive yourself for whatever has held you back up to this point, stop beating yourself up for past failures and start thinking, “How can I move forward now?”

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”– Albert Einstein 

2. Realize success takes time

This can be the most difficult step: becoming comfortable with moving slowly but surely, and realizing you are not going to become successful overnight. Success is a reflection of hard work over the long term, and it’s easy to get discouraged when you don’t see results immediately.

I once came across a very talented blogger that had started generating significant income in just a few short months, all while juggling a full-time job and 2 young children. Her success made me feel inadequate, since I had quit my job to stay home with my children a year ago, and hadn’t made much writing income yet.

I felt a strong need to prove myself immediately, and that same night I rushed out to the coffee shop with my laptop to feverishly work on my writing. Instead of being relaxed and productive, I had anxiety and writer’s block. I realized it was because I was forcing myself to write because I felt bad about myself, not because I was genuinely inspired. Keep your ego in check, and move at the pace that works best for you.


3. Engage with the people you envy

No matter where you’re at in your journey, you need other people who can show you the way. While rising to their enviable level of success, they’ve inevitably persevered through countless failures—all of which you can learn from. Acknowledge that they deserve their success, then ask yourself, what can I learn from them? Soak in all what they have to offer, and then take it a step further and reach out to them.

When I come across a blogger I admire, I shoot them a quick email thanking them for inspiring me and then asking a couple short, thoughtful questions about how they got to where they are. They are usually thrilled to receive the compliment, and more than happy to share a little wisdom.

Emulating and learning from successful people will help you tremendously in your own journey, but don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to them. Everyone has different skills and life experiences, and your path will never match perfectly with someone else’s.

“Envy blinds men and makes it impossible for them to think clearly.” – Malcolm X 

Maybe what you dream of doing has been done before, but not with your personal style and unique perspective. There is plenty of room for you in the game, so allow yourself to let go of jealousy and be inspired by others. After all, there was a point in their lives when they were exactly where you are.

When are you going to let go of envy? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below! 

Ivy Shelden is a freelance writer and the founder of The World Is Yours, a blog dedicated to helping people get in touch with free will and the power to create their own lives.



  1. Teresa

    Jan 29, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    Thanks for writing this article, you give a fresh, new perspective to the “jealousy” issue. Thank you.

    • Ivy Shelden

      Feb 1, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      You are welcome Teresa, I know it’s something we all struggle with from time to time! It’s good to know others can identify with these feelings!

  2. Chris S.

    Jan 21, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    Great article! Really got me inspired and looking at things in a new way. thanks for the insight

  3. Chris S.

    Jan 21, 2016 at 9:50 pm

    Great article! This has given me a new sense of looking at things. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation to move forward with my goals. THANK YOU

  4. Ivy Shelden

    Jan 21, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    Thank you Chris, I am glad you enjoyed it! 🙂

  5. Chris Tom

    Jan 20, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    Very inspiring article..beautifully said..Thank you.

    • Ivy Shelden

      Jan 22, 2016 at 3:42 am

      You are very welcome and thanks for reading!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


6 Reasons Why You Should Never Glorify Failure After You’ve Failed




Many people are ashamed of failure. If they so much as smell a whiff of failure, they quit instantly because the public notices it quickly. But you shouldn’t be ashamed of failure. A lot of people have failed. I’ve failed over and over again in my career, business, relationships and more. Yet, I keep trying because failure isn’t the final verdict. (more…)

Continue Reading


How to Move Forward When All Seems Lost



how to move forward
Image Credit: Unsplash

A few weeks ago, the relationship of my venture with a long-term client turned rocky. Losing them would mean a huge loss for my business, but it appeared like that’s where we were headed. My mind raced with unpleasant thoughts. Maybe the client had figured out that I couldn’t lead my team well. Maybe I was not good enough to be an entrepreneur. Maybe I was not good enough to do anything.

Why was the world so unfair?! Within moments, my anxiety had shot through the roof and my heart was racing faster than an F1 car engine. But I know I’m not the only one who feels like this.

Why Problems Overwhelm Us

As human beings, we’re good at solving problems, so they shouldn’t stress us out. Yet, they do just that. Why?

Consider some of these situations in life. When a relationship is headed for troubled waters, we wonder whether our partner loves us anymore. Our mind unearths memories of when we got dumped or rejected. We blame ourselves for falling for the wrong people and tell ourselves that we’re not worth receiving love.

How do you think the relationship will steer after that? If we cannot stick to a diet, we think of other times when we gave up. We remember what people said about things that we couldn’t do and ask ourselves, “were they right?” We tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to succeed at anything.

Do you think we’ll find the grit to stick to the diet after this? So here we are… thinking we’re not good enough to be entrepreneurs, to be loved, to get promoted, or to achieve our personal goals. Notice a pattern yet? We move in the wrong direction. The destination is to achieve the goal. And unless we stop giving into emotions and start addressing situations, we’ll keep failing to get there.

Negative emotions (and even extremely positive ones) blur our vision. The more we focus on them, the deeper we go into how we feel. We either get angry because things aren’t the way we want them to be, or get paralyzed by the fear of the worst possible outcome. This means we pull away from the one thing we must do to set things right — take action.

“If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.” – Dale Carnegie

How to Take Action in the Face of Problems

Most human beings are good at solving problems. Where we get blindsided is at diagnosing the right problem. To diagnose the right problem, we must address the situation instead of emotions. We must see things for what they are, collect facts on what we’re worrying about, and then ask ourselves, “What should I do next?”

In his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, Dale Carnegie wrote: “Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts.”

To address the tricky situation with my client, I took the following three steps:

1. First, I acknowledged the feeling

Solving a problem doesn’t mean ignoring emotions. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel because it reveals the path, but domesticating your emotions is more important. I acknowledged how I felt by saying, “I feel anxious because the client might not want to work with us anymore and this will be a financial loss for us.”

Note how I said “I feel anxious” and not “I’m a loser.” If I had given into negative chatter, I wouldn’t have uncovered the direction to move in (the part after “because”). This is why domesticating emotions is crucial.

2. Next, I prepared for the worst

We often run from our worst fears rather than facing them despite knowing that the worst outcome rarely comes true. The result is that we stay stuck in fear instead of pushing beyond it. And we never discover what we’re really capable of, which sucks.

In my case, the worst meant losing the client. It would hurt but it was the truth. However, we could get more clients. Plus we already had other clients who helped us pay the bills. In other words, I wouldn’t have to live on the street.

The moment I accepted this, a huge weight got lifted off my chest. This prepared me for the third and final step.

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Lastly, I examined the situation

Examining a situation means setting aside your emotional baggage and focusing on facts. When you trust that you’ll be okay, you become better at diagnosing the real problem. Once I felt lighter, I could see things clearly.

I used the 5 Whys Technique (asking “why” five times) to figure out the real reason for the client’s dissatisfaction. Then I collected data on the issue and on what we had previously delivered.

Finally, I reached out to the CEO of the client and held a detailed and constructive discussion based on my findings. Within four days, the CEO and I were back to the way things were before.

The best way to prepare for tomorrow is to give today your best. I’m not sure whether the issue with the client got resolved for good or whether the client won’t pack up and leave one day. However, I am sure that I’m prepared to handle such cases better today than I was yesterday.

Control your emotions instead of letting them run amok. Accept things for what they are instead of what you want them to be. Be realistic instead of delusional. Address the situation instead of succumbing to emotions.

Don’t preempt what lies ten miles ahead and get paralyzed by fear. Address what lies clearly in front of you and keep moving. One day you’ll be surprised about how close to your destination you are.

How do you move forward when all hope seems to be lost? Share your advice below!

Continue Reading


8 Effective Tips to Improve Your Emotional Wellbeing



how to improve your emotional wellbeing
Image Credit: Unsplash

You know what they say, “Health Is Wealth”. But, more often than not, we only mean it in the context of physical health. There’s no question that being fit is the world’s greatest treasure. Unfortunately, not a lot of us take time out to look after our emotional health and wellbeing.

Let’s not forget – it’s ‘Mind Over Matter’. So, if you are able to take control of your emotions, thoughts, how you feel through the day and how you respond to myriad situations; there’s nothing quite like it. When you become the master of your emotions; health, prosperity, and basically all good things are bound to follow you.

With that said, here are 8 surefire ways that will improve your emotional wellbeing:

1. Practice Mindfulness

Half the time, we don’t even know what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. That’s because we let our minds operate on autopilot. It’s time to take control of your mind. Be aware of what and how you feel throughout the day. The upside to this practice is that you can detect negative emotions right on the onset and quickly change them and their corresponding feeling.

Feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred; they are not good for the mind, soul, or the body. Paying close attention to the spectrum of emotions you experience throughout the day, will help you detect the negative ones and kick them away before they fester deep enough to take away your happiness and emotional health.

2. Stay Physically Active

As you engage in physical activities, your brain produces a whole bunch of feel-good hormones such as endorphins and dopamine. These hormones are what causes the ‘elated’ or ‘euphoric’ feeling. Being physically active uplifts your mood and your outlook towards life. It readies you to take the challenges more head-on instead of becoming overwhelmed by the littlest of inconvenience.

You are better able to analyze tough situations and take a more proactive rather than a reactive approach. It’s no question physical health is in direct proportion with emotional health. A healthy mind resides in a healthy body and vice versa.

“Caring for the mind is as important and crucial as caring for the body. In fact, one cannot be healthy without the other.” – Sid Garza-Hillman

3. Get Sufficient Sleep

Ever noticed how you feel depressed and cranky, and just out of focus the day you fail to get a good night’s sleep? Well, if you fail to get sufficient sleep for a couple of days, you are bound to feel more depressed, cranky and eventually more prone to a host of negative emotions. Research shows that sleep deprivation sends amygdala – our brain’s emotional response center into overdrive.

Amygdala controls our immediate emotional responses. When it becomes overactive, we become more reactive rather than active. We become more irritable, angry and anxious. A good night’s sleep is vital to improving your emotional wellbeing.

4. Develop a New Hobby

Learn to swim. Try arts and crafts. How about painting? Swimming is a ‘happy’ activity. You get to make new friends and stay fit. Arts and crafts, as we all know, tends to have a relaxing effect on the mind and the nerves.

Just the process of creating something from scratch makes you confident and gets those creative juices flowing. Similarly, painting helps you express yourself. All these factors together create a ‘happy you’. The one who likes to engage in new things instead of resisting change or difficult situations.

5. Eat Healthy

Ever heard of the phrase, “You are what you eat”? Well, it’s true to the last syllable. When you eat foods rich in salt, sodium, fat – you are bound to feel lethargic. It takes longer for the body to digest such foods. That means the body is forced to deprive organs of blood and use it for the digestion purpose.

Result? You become lazy, moody, not ready to take any responsibility which leads to feeling cranky and irritable. On the other hand, eating fibrous vegetables, fruits, salads, and complex sugars keeps you upbeat and healthy.

6. Laugh Your Heart Out

Laughter is the best medicine. That is why they have a dedicated ‘laughter session’ in yoga studios. You don’t even have to mean it. The simple act of spreading your cheeks and pretending to laugh sends a signal to your body that you are happy.

And what happens when you are happy? Your brain releases happy hormones like dopamine, serotonin and what not. In fact, many studies have gone so far as to stipulate that laughter alone is capable of treating all kinds of physical ailments. Why should emotional ailments be any different?

7. Try Relaxation Techniques

‘’Visualization technique’’ where you imagine yourself in a happy place is a surefire way to calm your nerves if you find yourself distressed. You may also try praying to elate yourself. Praying is good for the mind and the soul.

Controlled breathing or ‘biofeedback technique’ are some other relaxation techniques that can tame how you feel and even your bodily functions. Try surrounding yourself with aromatherapy or scented candles because the smell is a big factor in governing how we feel.

“Positive emotional energy is the key to health, happiness and wellbeing. The more positive you are, the better your life will be in every area.” – Brian Tracy

8. Count Your Blessings

We all have so much to be thankful for. It could be a friend who stands by you or a happy family. Good health. Financial freedom. Make a list of all the things that you feel grateful for in your life. If it’s a person, be sure to communicate your feelings and express your gratitude.

You will feel so much happier. Happiness is the diet of a healthy mind and an intelligent emotional response mechanism. You could also try writing a poem or simply expressing your gratitude through the power of prayers.

There are so many ways to become emotionally intelligent and not one of them requires any investment or special skills. Practically anyone and everyone can do it. All you need is the will and the desire.

Continue Reading


How You Can Use the Power of Gratitude to Your Advantage




The word gratitude has been tossed around, but do you know exactly what it means or how to implement it into your life? Someone has probably told you in your life, “Express more gratitude.” Well, that sounds like a great idea, but if you don’t know what gratitude is, how can you fully express it in your life? It’s a concept that once you grasp, it will change your life. (more…)

Continue Reading