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5 Steps To Regain Confidence After A Failure

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how to regain confidence after failure

Throughout my life, I have felt my confidence drop suddenly—after receiving the news I hadn’t been accepted into the college of my choice—or gradually—after watching the failure of my daily efforts to promote one of my programs.

Every time I felt a lack of confidence, I lost precious time second-guessing my next step and feeling sorry for myself. That’s why I learned that regaining my confidence must be a priority if I want to succeed.

Here are the 5-steps I followed to regain my confidence after a failure, which might help you when you feel unsure about your ability to achieve what you want:

1. Become an objective observer

When things don’t work according to plan, it’s easy to let your disappointment take over. You might start visualizing doomsday scenarios and decide that success is out of reach forever.

To assume an objective perspective, imagine that your current life events are part of a movie you’re watching in your living room. What seemed to be the end of the world might become “interesting.”

In my case, when my business efforts failed, I took a step back and realized I was feeling defeated by the failure of only one out of my many programs. That’s when I also noticed the progress I had made throughout the years, and started to feel my confidence return.

When you become more objective and less emotionally attached to what has happened, you might also experience the ability to see “the silver lining.”

“The physical world, including our bodies, is a response of the observer. We create our bodies as we create the experience of our world.” – Deepak Chopra 

2. Remove your focus from what’s wrong

If you tend to obsess over what is NOT working, you’re not alone. We’re drawn to place our attention on what isn’t working in hopes to get rid of the problem.

However, the more time you spend thinking about your failure or problem, the worse you’ll feel about yourself and the less time you’ll have to devise a solution.

When things go wrong, ask yourself the following 2 questions:

  1. What have I learned about myself / my career / my business?
  2. What can I do today to avoid the same result in the future?

The answers to these questions will help you shift to problem-solving mode. I personally learned a great deal about what doesn’t work in marketing as a result of my business failure.

 

3Take inventory of what you do well and celebrate it

There isn’t a better time to give yourself a pat on the back than after you have failed at something.

Take out a notepad and list your top five accomplishments in life. Then, list your top 5 skills. Your skills may include anything from being a great writer to knowing how to bake delicious brownies. Anything goes!

Feel proud of your accomplishments and skills, and you’ll realize that you have the ability to succeed again.

I said to myself that although I had failed, I still had skills and knowledge that were changing the lives of many people. Most importantly, I reminded myself that I would always have my integrity, perseverance, and passion for what I do.

 

4. Preparation

Just as you feel most confident when you have studied for a test or rehearsed a presentation, you will feel a boost of confidence when you learn as much as you can to avoid a repeated failure.

Your preparation could include pursuing further training or education, connecting with people who might be able to help you, or even mentally rehearsing what you will do next time a similar situation arises.

I sought advice from my business mentors and implemented new strategies to fix what hadn’t worked in my business. The harder I worked, the more confident I felt. Competence brings confidence!

 

5. Visualize success

Daydreaming isn’t a waste of time when it allows you to feel more confident and when it inspires you to take positive action.

Imagine you were given a magic wand so that you could fix what didn’t work and experience continued success. What would happen? How would you feel?

Next, determine the first step to make your dream a reality. If your first thought is that what you imagined will never happen, then take action anyway and return to the visualization process a few days later.

In time, your visualized future will feel more attainable to you, and like it happened to me, you’ll feel the high confidence level you need to succeed.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

Be patient as you follow this process to regain confidence. Acknowledge your emotions but remain grounded. Most importantly, remember that your value isn’t dependent on what you achieve or don’t achieve. Always honor your magnificence!

How do you regain confidence after a failure? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Cloris Kylie, Marketing MBA, helps coaches, consultants, and service-based professionals to attract the right clients so that they skyrocket their impact and revenue. A sought-after speaker, trainer, and author, Cloris has been featured on various television and radio shows, including the #1 podcast for entrepreneurs, "Entrepreneur On Fire." Cloris's articles have been published on websites with millions of followers. Visit her website here https://www.cloriskylie.com and get her free eBook to build authority and grow your audience here: https://myplatform.info/free-pdf-ebook.

Life

A Simple but Effective Technique to Be More Confident

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The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Personal Growth

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When you look back on your life, what do you want to think about? Do you plan to reminisce on all of the good things that have happened and how they shaped who you are today? Or would you rather remember all of the bad decisions, challenging experiences, and mistakes made that hurt or wasted a portion of your life?

In my opinion, I think it is important to reflect on both. While it’s important to remember the hardships we’ve been through in our lives – without them we wouldn’t be where we are now. There are 3 very specific areas that I feel have helped me grow in a personal sense more than anything else in my life so far. 

These aren’t simple lessons in a book or a lecture that you can just absorb and apply to your life. These are things that I’ve learned through experience and reflection, and I’m still learning and growing today.

1. We determine how much we’re worth by what we think about ourselves, others, and life in general.

This might seem like a pretty obvious lesson in life but it’s actually one of the most important because we can determine our own worth by how we think about ourselves and the world around us. If you’re looking for success in any kind of business or social setting (dating), then I’ll tell you right now that it doesn’t matter if you have 10 billion dollars or not – people are still going to judge you based on your thoughts and beliefs alone.

What determines our value isn’t necessarily what we do with our lives (which is often based on luck) but whether or not we believe that ‘our work’ is worthy or not in some sort of grand scheme or universe. We may not always be able to control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we value ourselves and others.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou

2. You don’t have to change your habits or personality just because someone else doesn’t like it – their opinions are THEIRS alone.

This is another one of those lessons that people tend to pick up on a little bit late in life, but if anything that makes its importance even worse! Basically, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to meet someone who has certain expectations of you as a person…but these expectations might not be realistic due to their motivations and personal beliefs. For example, sometimes parents might expect you to be a lawyer or doctor because that’s what they believe is best for their child.

However, this isn’t the case for everyone and so maybe your passion lies in music or writing novels. In this example, if you were also pressured into becoming a doctor – then there would obviously be some kind of conflict going on within yourself as a person. You should never have to give up something that you want to do just because someone else doesn’t like it! The reason why we’re put onto this Earth is to make our own choices and go after our OWN dreams instead of letting others determine what we can and cannot do with our lives .

3. You can’t change your life until you accept that you need to make a change.

When I was younger, I thought that this lesson would be pretty obvious – but as I got older, it really made me appreciate the fact that there are always different ways of perceiving our lives. For example, if someone wants to become rich and famous one day – their mind might simply overshadow any other possibility in their head because they feel like this is what they NEED to do right now.

However, this isn’t always true within our own lives because we think about things too literally instead of having an open mind. If you want to achieve success in any kind of business or social setting (dating) then you should be willing to try out different things instead of staying in your comfort zone. If you want something, then it’s up to YOU to actually go after it – nobody else is going to give it to you!

The three lessons above are some of the main things I want to pass on to everyone because they’ve come at an important time in my life where I need to start thinking about others instead of only myself. It’s great if we can learn to love ourselves first before anything else, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect everyone around you even though they might be your friends and family members!

If you enjoyed this article on the 3 most important things I learned about personal growth, then please share it with your friends and family! Also, check out my other articles on success & motivation as well as life lessons that could help people who are struggling with their life right now on lifengoal.com. Thanks for reading!

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​​4 Boss Level Growth Strategies That Create an Optimized Life

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