Connect with us

Life

12 Reasons To Stop Photoshopping Your Life

Published

on

Photoshop effect fake life

Just be yourself”. We’ve all heard the golden rule a thousand times before, yet how many of us can honestly say we openly expose the complete, unedited version our authentic self for the world to see – blemishes and all?

Whether we’re talking a subtle retouching of our perceived imperfections, or a gaping chasm between the mask we wear in public and the true self hidden within, almost everyone is holding onto some heavily conditioned beliefs around what we must present to the world in order to fit in, be accepted, liked and loved. But the extent to which this airbrushing of inauthenticity can be negatively impacting our lives and may go deeper than you think.

 

Reasons To Be More Authentic

 

1. A recipe for regret

Living in alignment with someone else’s ideals rather than your own will generally set you on an unfulfilling journey toward disappointment, regardless of what you achieve. No matter how much you tick off the socially prescribed wish list or how many peoples’ expectations you manage to please, the pain of regret for not taking the wheel of your life and driving it along the road of your true purpose is rarely subtle enough to escape.

 

2. Holding back the tide

If you’re holding back the authentic you from shining, you’re stemming the flow of your true personal power and depriving the world of all you’re capable of bringing into it. You are the best there is at being you – so why not do it with pride? When we decide to try and live by or compare to someone else’s path, we resign ourselves to playing smaller than where our unique magnificence can take us.

As Judy Garland put it:

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else”.

 

3. Eroding self-worth

Any belief that the real version of you needs to be edited and polished before being fit to put on display implies to your true self that it’s somehow not good enough, lacking or that there’s clearly something wrong with you.

Regardless of what you may be portraying on the surface, living incongruently with your authentic self is a hotbed for cultivating a damaging low sense of worth that the world cannot help but reflect right back at you.

 

4. Forever vanilla

People are magnetised to a leader who stands out from the crowd and freely allows their unique flavour of magnificence to shine – the few who really live and own their authentic truth, irrespective of what anyone else might think. Those who go seeking acceptance, admiration and respect by striving to fit into the model of what they think everyone wants are destined to blur into the faceless vanilla herd.

 

5. The inhuman touch

Allowing your true self to be vulnerable is the key to opening up the greatest level of connection with others. In a mask-wearing world people delight in the liberation of being able to let down their guard and truly be themselves, and in sharing our so-called “imperfections” we give others permission to do the same. Think of those you are drawn to open up around and how that makes you feel, versus the depth of relationship you are able to experience with someone presenting a seemingly perfect disguise.

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well” – Joe Ancis

 

6. Living in fear

When the persona you present to the world is anything other than completely authentic, you live with the constant threat of being “found out” and carry around a restrictive burden of unease that any parts not congruent with this ideal must remain firmly locked away. When you fully own your truth and openly wear your heart on your sleeve there is nothing to hide and nothing more to fear – your complete vulnerability creates an empowering invincibility.

 

ralph waldo emerson be yourself picture quote

 

7. Shields up

In order to maintain a strong façade and protect our full self being exposed, we tend to develop some pretty effective defences. Sadly, these generally have the opposite effect to inviting the belonging and connection we’re really seeking as they’re mostly designed to keep others at a comfortable distance from ever engaging too deeply or entering into your life beyond the boundaries that you patrol.

 

8. Who do you think you’re fooling?

People can sense far deeper than the surface level of interaction that you’re able to paint. They know it. You know it. And the flimsier the authenticity of this polished exterior, the more powerful unconscious conversation is going on at the unseen “gut feeling” level.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Who you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I can’t hear what you’re saying”.

 

9. Conditional love

The more you openly give of your true self in a relationship determines the depth of love and fulfilment you can experience in that connection. Yet some people still find themselves filtering the thoughts, feelings and behaviours they are comfortable to share with even their closest companion. To experience the divinity of unconditional love there must be a willingness to expose the rawest version of your soul, or you’ll never feel truly accepted for anything but the polished façade you present.

 

10. Stunted growth

The most impactful relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself – but how willing are we to look deeply into our own truth, honestly accept our imperfections and know ourselves for who we really are? Only when we step aside from the distortions of our ego and clearly see where the gaps are can we invite the real change, growth and progress that will actually fill them, rather than simply painting over the cracks with a fresh coat of denial.

 

11. Wasting energy

Let’s face it, ensuring you’re on the ball to keep up appearances all the time can involve a lot of effort, energy and exhausting tension that could be much better spent elsewhere. How many more miles to the gallon could you achieve with the life energy that effortlessly flows through you when you cast off the shackles, step into your true essence and dance like nobody’s watching?

 

12. Short-changing yourself

In the end, donning the protective gear that keeps our authentic self at a safe distance from exposure to the possible bumps and bruises along the journey of life also prevents us from ever wholeheartedly embracing the highest highs. Diluting how much of ourselves we are willing to unreservedly throw into anything we do only waters down any reward we can ever genuinely receive. Real fulfilment comes with living freely, living fully and living your truth.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – C.G. Jung

 

Dave Beaumont is a Transformational Coach and NLP Master Practitioner. He specialises in empowering clients to break through the obstacles holding them back and harness their full personal power to become all they are truly meant to be. Visit lifemasterycoach.com.au and follow @YourLifeMastery on Twitter for tips, tools, insights and inspiration on living your life to the full and overcoming the challenges we all face on the journey to becoming our highest self.

Advertisement
1 Comment

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Published

on

Image Credit: Canva

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Published

on

Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
Continue Reading

Trending