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The Thin Line Between Cocky & Confident – Which One Are You? | 10 Steps To Confidence

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Self-confidence is an important ability to have in order to become successful. However, this quality can easily be confused with arrogance because of the fine line that separates the two. On one hand, being cocky is about believing in your abilities related to only one specific aspect of your life. This is a very weak form of self-belief because the moment you step into a different environment, you’ll end up doubting yourself.

As such, confidence is an unshakable belief that you have what it takes to be successful. An arrogant person sees it in reverse: only those who are successful have the right to call themselves confident. If you want to become self-confident without crossing over into arrogance, here are 10 steps to help you get there:

 

10 Steps To Being Confident – Not Cocky

 

#1: Making Decisions

Arrogance can masquerade as self-confidence when a person makes a decision based only on their personal capabilities. Real self-confidence comes from making an informed decision based on a logical set of criteria to help you narrow down what course of action you should take.

Take the time to do your homework and find the root of the problem before deciding what to do. Once all the options are accounted for and thoroughly explored, only then can you truly be at peace with your final decision.

 

#2: Dealing With Failure

The only constant in life is change, and a confident person finds a constructive way to capitalize on an undesirable life event. On the other hand, a cocky person simply falls apart because their confidence is based only on their abilities – and not on how good they are at picking themselves up.

The key to being confident in the face of failure is to use the experience as a lesson which reveals your limitations. Without extracting the truth from a painful loss, you won’t be able to grow as a person.

 

#3: Embracing Imperfection

Although everyone wishes they were perfect, self-confident people don’t hinge their sense of self-worth on this impossible goal. Believing in yourself means being okay with not getting it right all the time.

Rather than focus on never making mistakes, they’re happy knowing that they have the perseverance to see themselves through a crisis.

Arrogant people on the other hand, possess the misguided belief that they must be without flaws; otherwise, they’ll punish themselves for it. As you can see, this is not a good foundation for self-confidence.

 

#4: How Others See You

Being cocky is a dedication to being more successful than everyone else. Arrogance tends to drive a person toward the impossible goal of outdoing the rest of the world.

This kind of ambition can give the illusion of self-confidence. The problem is that self-belief doesn’t come from external factors like other people’s approval. It’s always about being self-referenced. Therefore, a self-confident person only competes with himself and doesn’t depend on the opinion of others for validation.

 

#5: Handling Professional Achievements

Have you ever met someone who’s proud of his accomplishments to the point where he’s practically rubbing it in your face? If you have, you probably found him annoying and resented him rather than being happy for his success.

As mentioned earlier, self-confidence isn’t derived from the external world around you. Operating from this mindset will only frustrate you because you’ll feel inadequate if you don’t achieve 100% of your worldly goals. Celebrate your success, but temper it with a dose of humility. Be more focused on personal growth and not just your achievements.

 

#6: Acting In Social Situations

The problem with being cocky is that people are turned off by the vibe they get when someone is trying too hard to impress everyone in the room. You can’t win people over by trying to be the smartest, richest, or smoothest person out there.

Instead, a self-confident person is comfortable enough to let the other person do the talking. In fact, self-confident people are more interested in what the other person has to say rather than drone on about themselves.

The simple act of truly listening and asking meaningful questions conveys genuine interest. This is the best way to impress people without trying so hard.

 

#7: Dealing with your inner critic

Try all you want, you cannot deny that there will always be that ever-watchful critic observing your every move. When you feel like someone’s breathing down your neck and waiting for you to make a mistake, chances are that you WILL mess things up.

What you need to realize is that this inner critic loves to blow your worst fears out of proportion. Cocky people pay too much attention to this distracting chatter, causing their fragile self-belief to easily crumble.

 

#8: Listening To Others

Criticism can be hard to take, but self-confidence can take the edge off. It’s normal to feel defensive when dealing with a critic; even your body will physically react to it!

As mentioned, arrogance is confidence solely based on one’s abilities. When these come under attack, a cocky person has no other choice but to emotionally lash back.

Being confident in yourself is taking criticism objectively – even if the critic is just being hurtful for the fun of it.

Instead of trying to up the ante, a confident person simply acknowledges what has been said and moves on. Besides, he or she only has time to respond to constructive criticism from people who want to see them improve.

 

#9: Sharing Your Talents

Knowing that you’re good at what you do is only part of being confident. The other part involves being secured enough to share your abilities with the rest of the world.

Cocky people don’t like to share nor work with others – they don’t need anyone’s help. You can avoid being too cocky by simply opening yourself to other people. What’s more, you’ll create enriching relationships with future colleagues in the process!

 

#10: Focusing On The Wealth Of The World

Sharing your knowledge comes from the belief that there’s plenty enough to go around for everyone. Believing in the opposite fuels an arrogant person’s aggressiveness which can be mistaken as true confidence.

However, what really propels them is the irrational fear that they need to take what they can, while they can. This is the worst approach to becoming successful; believing that there’s only room for number one will make you overly competitive and arrogant.

Being confident is being able to relax, knowing that there will always be opportunities for growth and success. In the end, being cocky is only a mask for insecurity that stems from the fear of what will happen in the future. Self-confidence is focused not on the unknown, but the reality of the present and the many opportunities it brings.

 

Article By Joel Brown | Addicted2Success.com

I am the the Founder of Addicted2Success.com and I am so grateful you're here to be part of this awesome community. I love connecting with people who have a passion for Entrepreneurship, Self Development & Achieving Success. I started this website with the intention of educating and inspiring likeminded people to always strive for success no matter what their circumstances.I'm proud to say through my podcast and through this website we have impacted over 200 million lives in the last 10 years.

Success Advice

How Your Friends Determine Whether You Succeed or Not

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Can anyone do without having friends? We all have our friends, we share ideas with them, talk together, have fun, and fight. Yes, that’s the baseline of friendship. But, do you know that aside from you, your friends can determine whether you achieve success or not?

There are two things in friendship which are the ability to ”love” and the ability to “influence”. This means you are loved and you are influenced. How do your friends affect your success in life? How are they one of the biggest deciding factors of your success? Let’s find out.

What type of friends do you keep? 

First, what type of friends do you keep? Who do you call your best friend? There are two different kinds of friends, good friends, and bad ones. A lot of people have lost their pathway to success and some have also found their road to success all because of the friends they keep, the people they mingle with. 

Who is your best friend? Answer carefully. Having a best friend means you find each other compatible and understanding. Analyze who your best friend is. If your best friend has not motivated you to do something positive, if who you call your bestie has never given you positive advice, lastly if your best friend has never informed and advised you on your shortcomings, then you don’t have a best friend.

This quote tells us “birds of the same feather flock together”. Countless people have changed from their good nature into a bad one all because of friends. One thing to note is, “negative people move with negative aura”. If your best friend is filled with negativity inside-out then you will surely be affected by his/her negative aura.

They influence your success with positivity or negativity 

The friends you keep can either influence you with positivity or negativity because your friends have the power to change your kind of person completely. 

This is how your friends influence you:

  1. They influence you indirectly with what they do
  2. They influence you directly by teaching and giving you advice 

Yes, that is how they influence you. For instance, you watch a movie and you like the way the actor walks. The question is if you truly like the way the actor walks, won’t you try to imitate the actor? Of course, you will.

Just the way you imitate the actor is the same way your friends can influence you with their character. However, the funny part is, they don’t have to teach you to do things like them. You just find yourself imitating and copying them gradually.

An important question to ask is, are you imitating a good friend or a bad one? If you imitate a good friend then you will be good, but if you imitate a bad person, you will surely become a bad person.

Everyone wants to succeed, a good friend will always teach, enlighten, and motivate you for success. A bad friend will only motivate you to do evil things (smoking, drinking, fight, envy,).

And you should know that things like that are a great enemy of success and even of God. So, if you have these bad elements in your life, how will you achieve success? There is no way!

And also, they can teach and advise you directly. But, what do your friends teach you? When you ask them for advice do they inspire you positively or teach you the bad stuff.? A lot of people have regretted lifelong decisions just by listening to the advice of friends. 

The company you keep has the power to influence and change you. Never forget that a positive influence will teach, motivate, and brush you up for success. While a negative influence will inspire you to become a bad person, change your good nature, and leave you with regrets in the end.

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The 3 Step Process to Building a Profitable Pitch

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As a communication coach, one of the top questions entrepreneurs ask me is how to deliver a winning pitch to potential investors. They want to know if there’s a magic formula to get an investor to say yes and buy into their dream and their business. (more…)

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The 4 Pillars of Wealth and Abundance

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Have you ever wondered what the formula for a wealthy and abundant life is? Many people have. Lots has been written about the subject of wealth creation and living an abundant life. It was a breaking point in my journey and pursuit of success when I found out that there is a clear path to achieve success in life. Thanks to those who have shared their journey, we can clearly see and follow the principles of prosperity. (more…)

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Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

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