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13 Simple Ways to Switch Up Your Life

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Melissa Ambrosini

Have you ever felt like a dark cloud is hanging over your head? Or like a heavy weight is on your shoulders? Or perhaps you can relate to that stomach-churning feeling of being weighed down by fear?

If any of these sound familiar, join the club sister!

All of us experience ruts from time to time — it’s part of the natural ebb and flow of life. However, when you’re bogged down in one yourself, it can be easy to believe that you’re all alone, and that everyone else has their shizzle together while you’re the only one struggling in Fear Town.

WE ALL GET STUCK IN A RUT SOMETIMES, IT’S HOW YOU BUST OF IT THAT COUNTS.

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Let me be the one to tell you that that’s simply not true! Today, with social media and the interwebs, it’s easy to believe that other people’s lives are ‘perfect’. After all, most people only share their highlight reel with the rest of the world, so it’s easy to convince yourself that others never experience anything but overflowing joy and ecstatic happiness. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Everyone — including me — experiences anger, frustration, sadness, and grief at times. I’ve definitely been stuck in my fair share of ruts, sometimes to the point where it feels like I’m buried in a deep, dark hole and can’t get out. But over the years I’ve gotten better and better at pulling myself out of those not-so-fun ‘down’ times thanks to these 13 super-powerful tools to bust out of a rut…

 

1. Have a pity party dance off

If you’re down in the dumps, it’s important not to dismiss how you’re truly feeling. But it’s also super important that you don’t hang out in Fear Town with your Mean Girl for too long.

Throwing yourself a pity party dance off is a great way to acknowledge the emotions coursing through you, and quickly process and release them so you can swiftly move back into the present.

 

2. Remember, this too shall pass

When you are stuck in an all-consuming rut, it can feel enormous — like the ground is going to open up and swallow you whole. But reminding yourself that ‘this too shall pass’ can be incredibly powerful.

Sometimes, if I’m having a particularly icky time, I’ll even write it on a Post-it note and stick it on my computer, that way I can be reminded of it all day long.

 

3. Get outside into nature

One of the quickest ways I have found to get out of a funk is to get outside and connect with Mother Nature. Her divine healing powers physically change the biochemistry of your body. Take off your shoes and walk barefoot on the grass or sand, breathe deeply, and let yourself connect with her.

 

4. Meditate

I know the last thing you feel like doing when you’re in a rut is sitting and meditating, but after years and years of practice, I can tell you this: I have never once regretted a meditation… EVER! Even those times when I have had to drag my butt to my meditation cushion kicking and screaming. In fact, they are usually the most potent, ground-breaking sessions, where your heart expands and true growth happens.

 

Melissa Ambrosini Meditate
 

5. Dive into the ocean

Similar to point #3, there is something so healing about diving into the fresh water and washing away all your worries. The ocean is incredibly cleansing. When I dive under the first wave, I visualise any worries, stressors, fears or concerns literally washing over and away from me.

The power of visualisation and Mother Nature combined is truly dynamite.

 

6. Laugh with a child

I know that when I can find the awareness to stop, be present and laugh with a child, no matter how dark the rut I am in, it always subsides.

Never underestimate the power of laughter, it’s the best (and cheapest) medicine.

 

7. Move your tush

Exercise releases endorphins (the feel-good hormones), which are exactly what you need rushing through your body if you’re feeling funky. So get your body moving. Whether it’s yoga, pilates, boxing, a walk or jumping on a rebounder, just shake it out and move your buns.

I love pumping this song really loud and dancing my heart out in my lounge room. Give it a go — you won’t be disappointed.

 

8. Open up

Nothing good comes from closing off. Your Mean Girl will tell you to stay closed off but the best way to move through any icky-ness is to open that big, beautiful heart of yours. It will feel scary. You will feel incredibly vulnerable. But on the other side of that is growth.

 

9. Talk to someone

I personally prefer to go inward and work on my ‘stuff’ for myself, however there are times when talking it out with someone you love and trust — like a coach, healer, partner or soulie (soul sister) — can be very helpful. They may even help shine some light on something you weren’t aware of. However, tune in with yourself and do what feels right for you.

If talking to someone doesn’t feel intuitively right in your bones then don’t do it.

 

10. Soak up some soul fuel

I am constantly reading, listening to podcasts and watching inspiring videos like The Goddess Group On Demand, to keep my motivation high and creativity flowing.

I find when I stop doing these things creativity, inspiration and motivation dry up. The good thing is it only takes one video to bust you out of that rut and get you back on your path.

 

11. Have a bath

I love mixing coconut oil, clay, essential oils and epsom salts in a bath and soaking my worries away. Try not taking anything into the bath with you — no book or phone — and just close your eyes, breathe, and let your worries melt away.

 

12. Make love

Like connecting with Mother Nature, making sweet love to your partner can literally change the biochemistry in your cells. Those times when you don’t want to open up and be vulnerable are usually the times you need to do it most.

Stay open and present and feel your body chemistry lift and your cells start to dance.

 

13. Journal it out

Uncensored writing really helps me get clarity and lifts me out of my funks. Remember, no one is going to read it, so open your heart and write from a space of truth. It’s incredibly therapeutic and great for your soul.

 

So there you have it — my top 13 tools for busting yourself right outta that rut. Next time you’re feeling crappy, or like a dark cloud is hanging over you, try one of these techniques and watch the weight of heaviness subside. And remember, happiness is a choice — your choice — and you can choose to suffer or choose to live. It’s up to you, beautiful.

Now I would LOVE to hear from you. What are your go-to remedies to help lift you out of a rut? Share with us in the comments below. And remember, your comment might be the one insight someone needs to hear to make dramatic shifts within their life.
Thank you, as always, for being so open and loving in the comments. I love you to the moon and back.

 

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I'm an author, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and self-love teacher. I love teaching women how to master their inner Mean Girl, to smash through limiting beliefs, and ditch the self-doubt so that they can start truly living the life of their dreams. Click HERE to grab my new book "Mastering Your Mean Girl" + my bonus meditations.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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