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14 Killer Actions To Help Build Confidence

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14 Killer Actions To Help Build Confidence

The reason Mr. Disney believed confidence was so important is because it gives humans a mental attitude of “I can do this.” And with that attitude, things actually are accomplished.

But Disney had a lot of support – a family, investors, and a dedicated staff. It’s easy to have confidence when everyone around you is encouraging and supporting you. It is not so easy when you are “out there” on your own, with a lot of self-doubt, with only yourself to depend on to muster up the self-confidence you need to achieve your goals. But it can be done – not overnight – but it can be done!

“Attaining anything is a matter of ‘C’s’ – curiosity, courage, constancy and confidence – and the greatest one is confidence.” – Walt Disney

Here are 14 very practical, nuts and bolts things you can begin to do right now that will build that self-confidence you need:

 

1. Set small goals

Set small goals that are challenging but achievable and short-term. Paint a room, learn a new computer skill, jog ¼ of a mile. Each achievement will bring more confidence and spur you on to tougher goals.

 

2. Learn everything you can

Find topics of interest and research them online. Watch the “Discovery Channel” – their programs are fascinating, cover a huge variety of topics, and are so well presented, the information is difficult to forget. You will be amazed at how the knowledge about a topic that comes up in conversation will impress others. Each time someone expresses being impressed, another thought is planted in your head that you have value.

“Use your free time for self-development.” – Brian Koslow

3. Take care of your physical appearance

You don’t have to look like a god or goddess, but a shower, clean hair, a shave, or some makeup will make you more confident.

 

4. Dress well

Don’t go to the grocery store in the clothes your just wore for yard work. Clean up when you go out in public, or even when you are simply hanging out at home. A good appearance tells your mind that you are worth being around.

 

5. Watch your posture and your walk

Self-confident people stand up straight and walk rather briskly. Practice this at home first and then when you go out, just getting into the physical “feel” of confidence can send good messages to your mind.

 

6. Speak slowly

That’s what confident people do. They want others to hear everything they say. People who lack confidence speak fast and often mumble because they are afraid of what others might think about their contributions to a topic. Again, practice at home until this is a habit.

 

7. Trash the negative thoughts

Here is a really easy mental game you can play. When a negative thought about yourself creeps in, stop it immediately. See it in your mind’s eye as an ant and picture yourself stomping on it. Once you kill it, it turns into something that is really appealing to you – a big juicy hamburger, a flower. This takes practice, but you have to make it a habit.

 

8. List all of your good qualities

List all of your good qualities; post them everywhere, read them out loud to yourself every day. Are you a great accountant or lab assistant? Write it, read it, and speak it!

 

9. Get outside of yourself

Volunteer somewhere – anywhere! Whether you go to a hospital, tutor kids at a community center, read to people in a nursing home, or take care of animals in a shelter, you will get a great sense of accomplishment as you see others appreciate you, Being appreciated by others is a huge confidence booster.

 

10. Stop whining about problems

Stop whining about a problem that you think you can’t fix. Develop a sound plan to solve it and follow through with it.

 

11. Write down your principles

What do you believe are the values that you hold most dear? If you have trouble with this, it is no wonder you lack confidence. Confident people know what they stand for. If you can’t think of anything, write down the “Golden Rule.” Then live it!

 

12. Challenge yourself

Each time you accomplish something you have never done before, your confidence grows. I once knew a woman whose husband died suddenly, leaving a British sports car he was restoring in pieces on the garage floor. She was at a real “low” and certainly lacking in confidence about her ability to make it on her own. She took that car manual and, every night and on the weekends, she put that car back together. It took a few months, but when she was finished, she knew she could tackle most anything.

 

13. Write a book

Why not? Even if it is never published, just finishing it builds your confidence in your ability to take on a big task and complete it!

 

14. Increase your proficiencies

Do this in small steps. You want to be a writer? Start small. Write a few blog posts or articles and submit them. Advertise yourself as a freelancer., pick up small jobs. With every submission that is approved and with every little writing job you get, your confidence builds.

“I’m a slow walker but I never walk back.” – Abraham Lincoln

Always keep that in mind! Becoming self-confidence all on your own is permanent. You will never have to worry about losing if your support is suddenly gone.

Thank you for reading my article! What actions would you add to this list?

Laura Callisen is an independent writer and a freelance blogger. Today she works as a co-editor of an online magazine and invests all her free time in self-development.  Laura believes that the only place where success is coming before work is the dictionary. Make sure to check her Professional Blog and to follow her on Twitter. Laura is always happy to share her experience and to hear yours.

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

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Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.

 

Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:

 

1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.

 

2. Persistent Pain

 
Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
 
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.
 
 

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

 
Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
 
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
 
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
 
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.
 

4. A strong need for control

 
It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
 
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
 
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.
 
 

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

 
Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
 
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.
 
 

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

 
Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
 
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.
 

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

 
 
If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to awebliss.com and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
 
 
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