Motivation

4 Things to Remember When Doubters Tell You “You Can’t”

Published

8 years ago

May 2, 2017

Victor Ng

When you have a dream, you will have doubters. It’s right up there with death and taxes – probably because nobody has to pay taxes or die for doubting. These gleeful killjoys shoot us down before we take off. They say “you can’t” when we thought we can. They make us hesitant when we were sure, silly when we were smart.

External doubt feeds self-doubt; the number one dream-killer as shown in studies. Life and success aren’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you perceive and respond to what happens to you. And doubters happen. They happen fast and hard on your unsuspecting dream. Be ready for them. Better yet, benefit from them. Because, as unthinkable as that sounds, you can.

Here are four ways to give your dreams the benefit of the doubters:

1. Doubters actually care

Don’t hate on those who don’t believe in your dreams, because they might be the very people who love you. Oftentimes, it is those who are closest to us that have the loudest voice of discouragement. This could be your father, your partner, or your best friend.

Sometimes, even your dearest ones cannot see in you what you can see for yourself. They unwittingly project their own self-limitations on you to “protect” you from the pain of failure. A father who has failed in business may urge his entrepreneurial son to “be realistic” and get a “proper” job with a steady paycheck.

The good news is, they want you to succeed. This gives you a chance to turn them into staunch supporters after their initial resistance.

Stay true to your course while making allowance for their advice. Earn their approval and support by addressing their deepest fears about your endeavor. As you progress toward your goals, you’re helping them disprove their assumptions and undo their own limitations too.

“I tend to enjoy proving people wrong.” – Hayley Williams

2. Doubters show you where to improve

Put aside the apparent assault on your ego for a moment and consider what your critics are saying. If you can get over yourself, there’s a lot you can learn there. Take the criticism objectively. Try to find at least one valid point in what they’re saying.

For example, if a headhunter dismisses your aspiration to land a bigger job, she could be 99 percent wrong. The other one percent could be the nugget of insight that will help you. This may be a skill you need, a person whose connection you should make, or better timing to make your move.

The next time you hear others doubting you, find the sliver of truth in their words. Build that into your game plan. You’ll be better for it.

3. Doubters make the best motivation

In his Hall Of Fame speech, Michael Jordan thanked his detractors for the motivation. He credited them for being the driving force behind his legendary work ethic. Jordan was a fierce competitor. He hardly needed any push during his playing career. Yet he chose to turn his doubters into demons he had to slay to prove his greatness.

They were his best motivational buttons and he mashed those poor buttons like a teenager playing NBA2K. Be careful not to invest emotionally in the critics, for they will drain you. It doesn’t matter whether they were being personal or not, as long as you don’t take it personally. Don’t burn out trying to manage others’ opinions of you.

Know that your skeptics cannot define you, unless you allow them. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Turn their action into a positive, powerful reaction that works in your favor. The motivation to prove your critics wrong may be exactly what you need to push for greatness.

“When the doubters tell you it can’t be done and all kind of tragedies will come your way, I say nonsense. If you can get to the very root of who you are and make something happen from it, my sense tells me you are going to surprise yourself.” – Vidal Sassoon

4. Doubters can become powerful allies

Naysayers are oftentimes the byproduct of differences. People can harshly judge ideas or ambitions that are not in line with their own beliefs, opinions, or behavior.

If you can bridge the differences to create win-win relationships, skeptics can become strong allies. They’ve already proven they have a voice and they are willing to use it, only this time, in your favor.

In a team setting, you will have to use your communication and people skills to not just win the argument, but to win the sentiment. Sharing your vision and getting others to stand behind it isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth your effort. Creating advocates of your dream can only accelerate your success.

The bigger and more audacious your dream, the more naysayers you will experience. Be like Usain Bolt who said, “To all my doubters, thank you very much because you guys have also pushed me.”

Are you allowing the doubters to control your life? What are you going to do to change that? Leave your thoughts below!

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Victor Ng

Victor Ng is an executive coach and entrepreneur who helps those with ambition overcome adversity to reach their goals. Download his free self-coaching worksheet “Adversity To Advantage” to reframe challenges and refocus on your success. Victor has 18 years of corporate experience in advertising and marketing communication. He is one of the youngest in his industry to reach the regional C-suite, and is credited with over 100 industry awards, including Cannes and Clios.

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Motivation

8 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Be More Decisive

Published

11 months ago

Jan 29, 2024

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Tackling Procrastination and Indecisiveness

Hi, Joel Brown here. As the person behind Addicted to Success and Mind Strong, I’m often asked about tackling procrastination and making swift, effective decisions. It’s a common struggle in today’s world, where distractions are endless.

Procrastination often creeps in when we’re bombarded with social media notifications, breaking news, and the hustle of daily life. This leads to a fear-driven indecision, where we’re paralyzed by the thought of failure or judgment.

Here’s a video breakdown of how to stop procrastinating and be more decisive if you are more of a visual person:

Embracing Speed and Momentum to Stop Procrastination

One of the most impactful lessons in my journey is understanding the role of speed in overcoming procrastination. A mentor of mine, a highly successful individual, always emphasized:

“Success loves speed, and money loves momentum.”

This principle is crucial in combating procrastination. It’s about seizing opportunities quickly, not just for financial gain, but for the invaluable experiences and connections they bring.

Understanding Analysis Paralysis: A Key to Overcoming Procrastination

A major hurdle in decision-making is what’s commonly known as analysis paralysis, a significant form of procrastination. It happens when our decision-making process, governed by the prefrontal cortex, gets overwhelmed. To break free from this form of procrastination, try calming techniques like deep breathing. It’s surprising how such simple steps can clear a cluttered mind and help you move past procrastination.

The Long-Term Effects of Procrastination and Indecision

Procrastination isn’t just about putting off decisions; it can lead to a reduced sense of life satisfaction over time.

In a conversation I had with Tony Robbins, we discussed how the quality of our lives hinges on the quality of our decisions.

Therefore, overcoming procrastination and indecision is vital for a fulfilling life.

My Top Strategies for Beating Procrastination

Seek Guidance from the Experienced: To combat procrastination, connect with people who’ve achieved the goals you’re aiming for. Their experience can be a guiding light when you’re stuck in indecision.
Use Deadlines as Anti-Procrastination Tools: Setting deadlines is a powerful way to break the cycle of procrastination. They create a sense of urgency that pushes you into action.
Accept Imperfection to Move Past Procrastination: Understand that no one is perfect, and that includes you. Accepting this can alleviate the pressure that often leads to procrastination.

Identify Your Procrastination Type to Find Solutions

Procrastination manifests in various forms. I’ve developed a quiz (find it at mindstrongacademy.com/quiz) to help you identify your specific type of procrastination. Understanding your personal procrastination style is a crucial step in addressing it effectively.

Additional Tips on Making Quality Decisions and Beating Procrastination

When it comes to decision-making, it’s important to not get too bogged down in analyzing pros and cons. While analysis is important, excessive scrutiny can lead to procrastination. Trusting your intuition often plays a crucial role in breaking free from procrastination.

Handling Major Life Choices Without Procrastination

For significant decisions in life, whether in your career or personal relationships, procrastination can be particularly challenging.

To address this, break down these big decisions into smaller steps. Assess the potential outcomes realistically to understand that often, the fear of a negative outcome is more intimidating than the actual consequences.

Conclusion: Your Journey Away from Procrastination Begins Now

To wrap up, remember that overcoming procrastination and indecision is about understanding your own patterns, seeking wise counsel, setting deadlines, and embracing your imperfections. It’s time to start making those impactful decisions and enjoying the journey of life.

Whether it’s through the Mind Strong Academy or my procrastination quiz, I’m here to guide you on your path to decisive action.