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Why Tony Robbins Helped Me And Turned My Life Around

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Tony Robbins - What He Taught Me At Unleash The Power Within

Say Yes! Say Yes! Sayyyyyyyyy Yes! This is just one of the famous lines you will hear at a world renowned Tony Robbins event. When I first saw him in 2013, he helped me so much with his learning’s and completely turn my life around.

Since that day, I have been to other events where he has been present and consumed his content religiously to compound my results further. Last week, I was lucky enough to catch Tony at an event in Melbourne, Australia where he delivered a truly unique experience that I wasn’t expecting.

The event was supposed to be two hours of Tony but as always, he over-delivered with value, and it quickly became four hours. With me at the event was a good friend of mine who I never knew had also had his life change by Tony.

Amongst high achievers, Tony’s work (or similar work from figures such as Les, Brown, Brian Tracey, and Eric Thomas) is very common. My friend made a critical decision many years ago to leave his country and go to the Western World, but I never knew why.

On this day, at Tony’s event, he told me that it was because of some Tony Robbins cd’s he listened to at the time that sparked a change in him and led him on a new path.

By reading this post, I want you to get the same spark of inspiration and change in your life. I want to be a small catalyst for you to change something in your life that’s important to you.

Tony Robbins helped me, and turned my life around, by teaching me the following fourteen lessons:

 

1. Positive thinking is BS

Many people mistake Tony Robbins as a positive thinking kind of guy that exists to motivate people. This couldn’t be further from the truth. What Tony Robbins taught me is that positive thinking is BS, and when you force yourself only to think positive, all you end up doing is hiding from your fear.

Rather than telling yourself that you always have to be positive, focus on how your negative thoughts are directly related to things that you fear.

 

2. You don’t get a state of mind you do a state of mind

It’s easy to get pissed off at something that happens. I used to experience the same thing until Tony taught me that states of mind like “pissed of” are not things that we pick up from somewhere, they are states of mind that we physically do and act our in our lives.

If you want to get more love, then you have to do love more often. Act out the state of mind you want and you will get more of that state of mind or feeling in return.

Tim Denning - State Of Mind Quote
 

3. Most of us are already financially rich

Gratitude is a lesson that Tony’s work has taught me many times, in lots of different ways. The statistic that Tony gives is that people that are in my country (Australia) who are considered to be poor are richer than 99% of the planet.

When you think you’ve got it bad you don’t. When you think your life is miserable, there is always someone doing it tougher. It’s how you think about what happens to you and how you think about money that determines your reality.

The other lesson worth mentioning is that just as quick as you can make lots of money you can lose it too. The scary fact is that 99% of people lose money in investing over the long term and all financial markets crash at some point.

So the point is to appreciate what you have right now and realise you are already rich both psychologically and financially.

 

4. Suffering is our own fault

Most suffering, according to Tony, is caused because we are obsessed with ourselves. We have this fear that we have less, or have lost something, or that we will never have something. Suffering is most apparent when we have high expectations that are not met.

The reality is everyone will lose a loved one at some point and experience a horrible tragedy. Whether you suffer from these events is 100% your own fault. The more you allow yourself to suffer, the more it will affect other areas of your life such as your health.

The cure for suffering is to begin to see the miracle in things again like you did as a child. We travel on commercial aeroplanes all the time and yet we forget how amazing this is. Be aware of the tragedy that is going to happen but don’t allow yourself to suffer.

 

5. Stress for achievers is fear in disguise

One distinction that Tony makes in his teachings is that achievers are often not fulfilled which is the ultimate failure in life. Achievers act as if they are invincible, and they are some rare breed that has this superhuman confidence.

These same achievers believe that they have no fear and just deal with varying amounts of stress. The reality is that the stress they experience is really just the same fear everyone has in disguise. Next time you experience stress dig a little deeper and see if it’s related to something that you might fear.

There is nothing wrong with fear, but if you want to be successful, you need to let fear be something that helps propel you forward. You need to tackle your fear head on and realise that all progress involves some level of fear conquering.

 

6. Consuming information must be done with emotion

If you have never been to a Tony Robbins event before then you could easily be convinced that it’s some type of cult when you look in from the outside without any context as to what the heck is going on (I promise you it’s not).

Tony Robbins - Consuming Information Must Be Done With EmotionAt Tony’s events, there is a lot of dancing, cheering, moving around the room, acting stuff out, and talking to complete strangers. The reason for all of this is that Tony says you will never learn anything if you consume the information in a static state.

To get new strategies and truly take action you need to be immersed in a set of positive feelings at the same time. Around every 30 minutes at a Tony event, there is a requirement to listen to music and follow what Tony is doing.

These musical moments create anchors for the human mind to change state subconsciously and create new neural pathways. Quite simply, Tony says that motion creates emotion and that emotion is critical for learning.

Emotion causes you to think differently and get out of your comfort zone. Emotion is the lifeblood of what all humans are really seeking – not money or possessions.

 

7. Anyone can achieve the impossible

An element to Tony’s teachings that has always kept me interested in his work and how it can change my life is his belief (and evidence) that all of us can achieve the impossible.

It’s not the circumstances of our childhood or our past experiences; it’s what we believe right now at this moment that determines if we have what it takes to achieve the impossible.

To turn my life around I used these three steps from Tony to achieve the impossible:

Step One – I became obsessed with one thing and was so hungry for it that I wouldn’t let it go.

Step Two – I took massive action without knowing the answers or what would work.

Step Three – I kept changing my approach until I executed on the one thing I was chasing and I immersed myself in it as much as possible.

 

8. Success without fulfilment is the ultimate failure

One of Tony’s messages that is repetitive in all of his work, which helped me, was to understand that just achieving success is not enough. You have to be able to achieve success and feel a sense of fulfilment at the same time.

Unless what you have achieved – by reaching a dream – makes you feel happy and satisfied, you won’t feel fulfilled and that is the ultimate failure. That’s why if you spent time in places like Hollywood you would quickly see that there is lots of money and lots of success, as well as lots of unhappy people.

These high achievers are unhappy because they have what a lot of us think is everything, but deep down these influential people are unfulfilled and numbing the pain of their life with plastic surgery and drugs.

Don’t just create your dreams, stand back and be happy when you’ve achieved them – you deserve it!

 

9. Happiness is a decision

We all want to be happy but what we forget is that happiness is a decision. The only way you will ever be happy is if you decide to be. Deciding is not enough, though: you must choose to be happy right now in this moment otherwise there is a high chance you will never be happy.

Saying to yourself you will be happy when something transpires in the future, or you achieve some fairytale goal, will see you become miserable and unhappy. Tony taught me that there are always going to be things that pop up from time to time that have the potential to rob you of your happiness.

When these events occur, Tony says he “kills the monster while it’s little.” He further adds that he tries not to let any negative event linger in his mind for more than ninety seconds, so the feeling never has the chance to grow into something huge.

In life, there is always something to worry about every day, but you can be happy by making the decision not to let these worries take over. Overcoming this battle requires persistence because Tony taught me that your brain is not designed to make you happy it’s designed to make you survive.

The only way to be happy is to go against your human programming and decide to be happy no matter what external forces occur. This one lesson has been a big part of my transformation, and it can do the same for you if you commit to it.

Total Success 2016 Melbourne
 

10. Life is about we

Entrepreneurs make one critical mistake all day long: they pitch ideas that are all about them instead of making them all about us. Tony’s entire life is an example of why we should make everything about us and not about ourselves.

When you only try and achieve things that help you, life can become very depressing. Have you ever had the feeling of experiencing something phenomenal and then the first thing you did afterwards was tell someone else?

We have all had this feeling and the reason we do this is because life is so much better when we do things together, and we work in an environment where we do things for others. Doing things for others is how we take life to the next level and make ourselves happy at the same time.

 

11. Don’t film it, experience it

Having seen Tony in lots of different environments, I have noticed one thing about him that always seems to be true; you never see him looking at a mobile phone. He taught me at one of his events that the reason he doesn’t have an obsession with electronic devices is because he would rather experience something in the moment than see it second hand through his phone, or worse still, film it to maybe never play it back later on.

If you want to live an amazing life you need to become more present and resist the temptation to film everything with your phone. Filming something will never feel the same as being there in real life, totally focused, and totally present in the experience.

I am going to contradict this point by posting a video below, but that’s only because I want you to see what Tony’s events are like and why he is able to turn my life, and the lives of everyone he touches, in a more positive direction.

 

12. People seek you out because they want what you know

The highest paid professionals in the world all know one truth; people seek you out because they want what you know. If you want to never have to market your services, then Tony teaches that you need to do more for anyone else than your competition.

You need to redefine your category or niche and concentrate on giving as much value as you can. Adding value to people’s lives is the best form of marketing that exists. Tony taught me this by the sheer power of his events.

When you attend any of Tony’s events not only does your life change, but you feel like you got way more value than you expected! When I saw him a few days ago, I expected two hours of value and I got four, plus a whole heap of new strategies that he didn’t mention at the beginning of the event.

 

13. Courage unused declines

All of us have had times in our life where we have felt courageous for extended periods. I was reminded recently by Tony’s teachings that these periods of courage decline if you don’t continue the practice.

Just like a muscle, you constantly have to find times to be courageous; otherwise, the muscle gets smaller over time, and you can’t use it when you really need it.

For me, this is true when I don’t go and pitch something to a stranger for a while. When I leave the skill idle for a while, I find that the courage needed to approach a stranger with a new idea wears off like a magic potion – practice courage daily.

 

14. Peak performance comes from peak states

To live a life at the elite level, you need to be able to operate at your peak consistently, and Tony teaches that this can only occur from a peak state. In the right state of mind, you will take the right action in the moment.Wonder Woman Power Pose - Tim Denning

It’s impossible to take effective action in the wrong state of mind or an angry state. The secret that Tony teaches is to get into a new state, and this can be done in a matter of seconds. This why at his events there is so much movement because he wants to demonstrate just how quickly your state can change.

After you see your state change over and over again throughout the cause of his fifty-hour plus seminars, you would have to be an idiot not to see how easy it is to do. You don’t need an excuse to feel good you just need to change your state.

Changing your state is as easy as changing your body and your focus to create a new state. A simple hack that Tony has been sharing recently is that you can try one of Harvard Universities approved power poses.

The one I like is called “The Wonder Woman Pose.” You essentially stand like Wonder Woman for twenty seconds and then you will quickly witness a new state being created in your body.

What lessons have you learnt from Tony Robbins? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net and my Facebook.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Christine

    Jun 6, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Hi Tim, Thanks for this great article! I remember Tony said positive thinking is like going to your garden and say there’s no weeds.

  2. Toño

    May 11, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Every time I open up A2S page I play a little game – guess who’s the author! As I read lots of articles here I slowly become familiar with style many of you make your titles up and needless to say, when I saw Tony Robbins this morning I told myself : “If this is not Tim Denning there has to be something wrong with this world” 🙂

    Writing this while reading your article I can say that friend of yours is a very brave man. It is never easy to leave the country of your origins and travel to different place, I know that quite well. And this decision been based on Tony Robbins’ cd. Amazing!

    Only recently I learned from Tony’s book that we exactly do our state of mind. We think being depressed is easy and just happend to us the other day, however offer this attitude to a very happy and super positive person and you’ll quickly find out it will be quite hard to ‘infect’ him with such poor behaviour. The reason is simple – you’ve put a lot fo work into your depression and now it can be easily achievable for you after years of practice, and now you can do that exact state of mind. It is so simple!

    I also love how Tony embrace responsibility for our own life, for pretty much every single event, it is our fault or our reward. We so tend to blame people, birds, weather, music, gods around that we become slaves of our environment instead of being powerful makers. It is hard pill to swallow sometimes, but it is what it is.

    I have learnt new things as well here: “you will never learn anything if you consume the information in a static state.” And another thing: ‘your brain is not designed to make you happy it’s designed to make you survive.’ Amazing, isn’t it?

    And lastly, my favourite: Happiness is a decision. Few years ago I’ve watched Independent movie ‘The Tree’. I think it was filmed in Australia actually, with beautiful scenery and wonderful actors play. I would say it was more like theatre, slow actions, not everyone would enjoy it. But I did and watched it more than once. The huge message of this movie came from little girl (amazing Morgana Davies): “I choose to be happy” said the little girl after her father’s death. I’ve got chills down my spine. You have to choose to be happy and emrace your present moment!

    Oh, and I adore the Wonder Woman pose 😀 Gotta use it at my job now and then to show who’s the boss haha!

    Beautiful read, Tim, thank you so very much for article! My eternal gratitude, man. Have a wonderful day, stay healthy!

    • Tim Denning

      May 11, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      Toño you have read so much of my stuff now so it’s no wonder you can spot the headlines…lol. What I have found in recent times that seems to be common amongst all successful people is some form of learning from Tony Robbins whether it be a cd or a seminar. His lessons are simple yet truly groundbreaking in the way he delivers them

      I feel Toño that every time you write a comment you helping to educate yourself by reinforcing the lessons you learning which is cool. Thanks again mate for reading 🙂

  3. Nick depaila

    May 10, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Thank you for article, Tim. Your work is phenomenal, spot-on and a must read for me. Keep it up, I greatly appreciate it!

    • Tim Denning

      May 11, 2016 at 5:09 am

      Wow thanks Nick for the very nice and unexpected feedback! It’s comments like this that make me love what I do so thank you.

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Success Advice

What I’ve Learned Working In Finance For Six Years (Hint: It Applies To Everyone)

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I’ve been in the corporate world of finance now for more than six years. I get everyone from kids straight out of college, to older guys and girls that have been out of the workforce for ages, to people looking for a career change asking about the finance industry.

I’ve found the real lessons I’ve gained from working in finance are far broader than just one industry. Finance has taught me life skills and how to deal with people. While the startup world was fun, the finance industry gave me some extra skills.

Here’s what I learned working in finance:

 

1. The grass is never greener.

Over the years, many of my colleagues have left finance to start their own thing or join some new age fintech that apparently has all the answers – that is, until they come up against credit risk or accidentally fund terrorism through their products and services. The grass is never greener.

“Every company, whether it’s a large bank or one you started yourself, is going to have challenges. It comes down to which flavors of challenges you like the most”

Maybe you have to be really innovative in your career but don’t mind lack of funding or small travel budgets.

Maybe you have to work with really smart people but don’t mind being in a low budget office. The people I’ve met in finance that are always chasing greener grass never seem to find it.

At some point, we can’t avoid challenges or people we don’t like – they exist in all companies whether we like it or not. Learning to deal with these facts is how I’ve stayed in finance for six years and not given up on my career.

 

2. There are mediocre people everywhere we go.

In finance, like any industry, there are mediocre people. Some of them are uneducated; some of them lack critical thinking; some of them have zero sales ability; some are afraid of customers; some of them love a good company paid breakfast for no good reason. We can’t avoid mediocre people.

“What I’ve learned through my years in finance is that it’s not that people are mediocre or dumb; it’s that everyone has different priorities”

Some people want to leave at 5:01 pm to be with their kids and that’s okay.

Just because we don’t prioritize our career and our KPIs, doesn’t mean any of us are dumb because of it. There are many levels of intelligence within a company and all are acceptable.

I’ve visited a few unique and prestigious businesses in Silicon Valley where everyone is a genius and these companies spend half their time arguing who the smartest person is in the room rather than getting down to business and solving a real problem in the world.

 

3. There are good leaders and bad ones.

Don’t get emotional about it, just spend as much time as you can with the good ones. There will be leaders you encounter who are trying it out and who’ve been given a chance. There will be other leaders you meet that are born for the role.

Everyone has the right to step up and be a leader regardless of their ability.

My career in finance has been focused on getting around the good leaders. Sometimes you’ll have to work for a bad leader and the key is to suck it up, eat shit for a while, and then leave and work for a leader you believe in.

 

4. Your career is never going to be full of highlights.

I was on the homepage of our company’s website twice in one year. Many never get this chance ever in their career and it happened to me twice in one year.

Then there was a year after that where nothing happened. There were no big milestones, no punching the air and plenty of low points involving customers.

In finance, and in the business world, it’s never going to be a back-to-back show-reel of Instagram highlights where we win every day.

There will be periods of massive growth and then there will be months and even years where nothing happens – times where we show up for work each day expecting something big to happen and it doesn’t.

 

5. The need for a side hustle.

Our career can’t always be full of highlights, which is why we need a side hustle. Think of it like another avenue that we can use to kick goals, grow and broaden your skills. For me, outside of working in finance, it became social media and blogging. Over the last five years of my finance career, I’ve hustled my face off learning somewhat non-related skills that have nothing to do with finance.

Side hustles allow us to explore our wild side. Working in finance can be quite dry and without my side hustle, I may have succumbed to suppressing my emotions, wearing a corporate mask and dressing in a suit and tie every day.

Side hustles helped me keep it real. Some days I work in jeans and a t-shirt. Other days I wear the cliché suit. My side hustle helped me live a little and get some perspective on what the finance industry was really about. The answer? Like every business, finance is about people.

 

6. Once we understand people, we’re set.

People go through a range of emotions every day. Once we understand that what’s happening in business could be entirely down to the fact they’re human, and nothing to do with business, we see the business landscape differently.

We become more compassionate to stakeholders, we treat customers with kindness and we quit thinking that we’re a freaking genius that has all the answers and if only people would listen to us the business would make 10X the profits.

Business is about people and by understanding them we can see it for what it is. Our customers are also people, and our interactions with them become easier when we come to grips with this fact.

If I were to get you to learn one thing, it would be the basics of psychology. Most of the key points can be Googled for free but the value they bring will help whether you’re in finance or any another industry.

 

7. We’re all constantly growing in secret.

I always thought that GM’s, CEO’s, etc, had it made. I always thought that they woke up each day and came to work with a killer instinct. The finance industry taught me I was wrong. The leaders we admire with those big job titles are just like you and me: they’re scared as F.

The difference is that the leaders we admire are growing in secret.

You think they have it made but when you get in their head, you realize that even with their success they suffer the same human pitfalls that you and I do. The difference is they embrace those pitfalls and take action regardless.

Even your heroes are fearful when they have to perform, but they do it anyway.

 

8. Your happiness doesn’t stay the same.

At the start of a new role in any industry, we’re loaded with energy. We come to work with new strategies and different ways to acquire customers. Then a few years go by and we become a bit negative. We see the same challenges over and over and the same people failing to take action.

This can lead to unhappiness in our career.

What working in finance has taught me is that there will be times we’re really happy with our role and other times where we are unhappy.

What we learn in the unhappy times helps us when we’re living through the happy times. If you expect to get into any industry and be blazing on fire for decades straight you’ll be sadly disappointed. One solution I’ve found is to change up my career and try new things.

Maybe you start in a sales role and end up working in product or risk. Maybe you work in customer service and end up in a strategy role.

Much of the unhappiness is tied to boredom and changing roles can help reboot our happiness at work.

 

9. Innovation is much harder than we think.

Geez, if there’s is one thing I have seen a lot of in many financial services businesses it’s innovation. So many companies have tried it and it never works. Sometimes it’s too much red tape that is put around the business or idea which ultimately suffocates the life out of any opportunity to innovate.

Other times it’s the wrong people that kill the innovation.

“Surprisingly, one thing that makes innovation really challenging is an abundance of resources”

Large businesses can afford to throw lots of money against the wall at innovation whereas startups can’t.

The limitations and budget restraints a startup has are often why they can be nimble and innovative. In the end, true innovation is damn hard. If it were easy, then many businesses would be more successful than they are.

The key is not to give up on innovation. It’s a slow process to embed innovation into the culture of a business and get results. True innovation requires a lot more failure than the leaders in the business world are often comfortable with.

It’s only by looking at what doesn’t work that we find truly innovative solutions.

 

10. It’s not about networking: it’s about helping.

Someone emailed me yesterday and said, “Hey I’d like to network with you.”

I thought to myself “Wow that sounds really silly!”

This idea that we have to network is stupid. What makes more sense is to build relationships just like we would with friends. Networking is focused too much on what we can get and what we will give in return. It’s transactional and it feels unnatural.

The subtle difference is that when we build a relationship with someone (instead of network with them) we’re not seeking anything from them. There’s no expectation and that’s where the magic lies right there.

 

11. We all experience bad publicity. It’s how we handle it.

Even monster success stories like Facebook have bad publicity. Working in finance can have some ugly moments. Not everyone is honest and there will be times where the business you work for or even your own business may face negative publicity.

No company or industry (including finance) is perfect. Businesses make mistakes just like humans do because ‘Business’ is just a label for a group of humans doing their life’s work.

Expecting the company you work for to be a perfect corporate citizen is a fantasy.

 

12. Listening to customers is not easy but it works.

Working in finance has allowed me to see my fair share of angry customers. For years, I tried to defend my position and this caused me to miss what the customer was saying.

After a while in finance, I learned that if you shut up and listen to the client, you learn much more. Sometimes they might yell at you for 30-minutes flat. Sit there and listen.

By listening, you get the chance to understand the problem fully and it gets your mind ticking with ideas. When people feel they are being properly listened to, they’re more receptive to the solutions you present for their problems.

It’s freaking revolutionary when you listen more. Not just in business but in life too.

 

13. What you have for lunch matters.

I was eating chicken nuggets in a bread roll for ages and it caused me to be sleepy in the afternoon. This killed my productivity and my desire to work effectively so I would cram all my challenging tasks into the morning.

Once I learned what a proper lunch was and began eating one every day, my energy, mood and productivity improved. I’m still getting better but what I learned is to monitor carefully what I eat if I want the energy to excel in my career. Bread, at lunchtime in particular, tends to suck away my energy later in the afternoon.

 

14. Kindness and compassion are superpowers.

Your humility separates you from the pack. Trying my best in my finance career to show compassion and be kind to people has helped me immensely. These two traits are rarer than you think.

In the business world, kindness and compassion are the glue that sticks all of the right opportunities together for you and presents them as a beautiful collage.

The reason I’ve had some cool opportunities (particularly of late) is that I’ve tried to be different instead of being like everyone else. I’ve questioned the way business works and experimented with kindness and compassion.

It turns out these two traits make people see me in a weird way. It’s almost like these two traits make me more human.

Kindness and compassion are about seeing the best in people before making assumptions that they’re out to screw you. Kindness and compassion are about believing in the power of the human species above all else.

 

15. Taking off the mask is freeing.

For the first half of my career in finance, I wore a mask. It’s hard to admit but it’s true. I used corporate language like “revenue targets” and “customer value proposition” and took a notepad to meetings to look smart. I wore the nicely ironed suit with the cute little cufflinks.

I said hello politely to everyone and was graceful. When it came to social media, I promoted the company and supported my colleagues. I told people I liked what they did even when I didn’t.

I did all of this because I thought that being fake and wearing a mask of bravery and perfection was what you had to do to succeed. I thought that’s how business land worked.

I found that all of this acting became exhausting and it was incongruent with who I really was. Deep down, I was an entrepreneur and a highly creative person that wanted to express himself.

After a string of bizarre situations – like narrowly missing cancer and seeing a few people close to me like my grandma pass away – I decided to throw away the mask.

I started dropping the odd F-Bomb. I told people politely when I didn’t like their idea. I became brutally honest with clients and stopped telling them what they wanted to hear.

All of this led to the real version of me being on display. Some people liked it and others weren’t interested.

“Either way, you can’t keep faking it till you make it at work every day because eventually, you’ll fall down from all the BS and wonder whose life you’ve been living for the last six years”

 

16. Scheduling holidays in advance provides additional motivation.

Let’s not pretend we’re 100% motivated each week at work. Some weeks will suck and that’s normal. Booking holidays in advance gives me a permanent memory of yet another thing that’s great about life: taking breaks.

The first half of my finance career involved almost no holidays. Not only did I become burnt out, but I also didn’t have as much to look forward to. Then I began booking in holidays to New Zealand, the USA and Japan. My motivation changed. I’d work harder leading up to holiday time so that I could take an even bigger break away from it all.

Holidays became like a reset button for my finance career and they gave me something else to aim for other than boring old KPIs.

 

17. Working really long hours means there’s a problem.

There have been a lot of times I’ve encountered people in finance working their butt off. I used to think it’s cool; now I see it as a problem.

If you’re working long hours, there is a problem. You’re either unproductive, distracted or under-resourced. All of these issues can be resolved and working stupidly hard is not the answer.

“Productivity is the opposite of working long hours”

 

18. You’ll have to speak in front of others.

That’s why I tell everybody to get their arse to Toastmasters and learn how to speak without having a thousand Ums and Ahs between every word. Public speaking is a basic form of communication and mastering it is how you get across your ideas, visions and tell phenomenal stories.

No matter your speaking ability in front of others, it’s time to improve it.

 

19. Most people have no idea about business so don’t feel so bad.

Yep, that’s the truth! All these people you meet in business that sound like they know what they’re talking about often don’t. They are just regurgitating something they heard or read which they thought was right.

We all pretend like business is an art and so many times it’s not what it’s made out to be. The science of business has more to do with life skills than anything else. Most books about business try and overcomplicate something that isn’t that hard.

“The greatest challenge and complexity with business is understanding its simplicity”

 

20. Change is guaranteed. Why not embrace it?

And here’s the final thing I’ll say: whether you work in finance like me or in another industry, change is guaranteed. One of these will happen to you:

–    Your industry will be disrupted if it hasn’t been already

–    Your company will go through a restructure, merger or be acquired which may cause you to lose your job

–    The business you are a part of could fail

–    Or a natural disaster or manmade event like a GFC could screw with your career

Change is guaranteed in your career so rather than avoiding it, what I’ve learned in finance is to embrace it. See the fork in the road as the greatest gift you’ve ever been given.

Welcome change with open arms otherwise it will be the kiss of death to your perfect, cookie-cutter career in whatever.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

5 Ways to Think Yourself Into Mind Blowing Results From Globally Renowned Leaders

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Many wonder why someone who’s less qualified is achieving greater success even though you’re smarter, work harder, or even have more influential connections. The only way someone succeeds is by thinking correctly. It doesn’t matter who you know, what school you attended, or what grades you got; all that matters are your thoughts. Both men and women around the world have been telling people “the secret” to success for hundreds of years. It’s time to listen.

Here are five tactics to begin today:

1. Writing Goals the Napoleon Hill Way

Thinking yourself into mind blowing results starts with the end in mind. Athletes know exactly what their goal is and how to earn the points to win. Life’s exactly the same.  In nearly every Napoleon Hill book, he lays out a goal achieving formula which has helped millions around the world. By following this, you will accomplish something you currently believe is impossible.

Start by writing a clear statement of your desire, then formulate a clear plan to attain it. You’ll also need to know what you plan on giving up in return. Set a definite time limit. Everything you wrote down, memorize it and repeat it to yourself often. It’s imperative you express gratitude towards receiving the results you’re still working for. Be grateful you achieved your desired outcomes long before you actually materialize them into your world.

“If you cannot do great things yourself, remember that you may do small things in a great way.” – Napoleon Hill

2. Creating Your Mental Image How Bob Proctor Teaches

In Bob Proctor’s’ book, You Were Born Rich, he titled Chapter 3, “The Image Maker” because we think in pictures. Our thoughts are like movie clips being projected on the screens of our minds; control the pictures, control the outcomes.  It’s vital to manage our thoughts and expel the ones that don’t serve us. Knowing this, you’re now the ‘mental architect’ of your life, of your destiny!

Once you have your desired outcome, it’s time to put that image on the screen of your mind. See yourself already in possession of what you desire. Clearly watch yourself living it, hearing the sounds and feeling the feelings you’ll experience.

A powerful question to ask to know which moment should be on the screen of your mind is, “what’s the last thing that needs to happen in order for me to know I’ve achieved the result I’m after?” This is the moment to focus on!

3. Allow Dr. David Schwartz to Give Yourself a Daily Pep-Talk

Start thinking more of yourself through self-praise. You’ll begin to discover how much bigger and stronger you feel when you upgrade your thinking habits. In Dr. David Schwartz’s book, The Magic of Thinking Big, he provides you with a daily technique. Constantly reminding yourself that you’re top-notch by using his “Sell-Yourself-to-Yourself 60 Second Commercial.”

Developing the “commercial” is as easy as writing down your assets and points of superiority. What’ll separate you from the herd is practicing your “commercial” out loud in front of a mirror once a day with enthusiasm and determination. Lastly, read it silently many times throughout the day as a constant reminder of your greatness. Just like a written goal, keep this with you at all times. It’s a great mental tool to regain enthusiasm and determination after the inevitable setback.

4. Experience Unlimited Power Like Tony Robbins

Have you heard about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? It’s the study of success and how to emulate it; it’s the language of the mind and how to create concise results. From the many learnings gathered from both Tony Robbins and the study of NLP, controlling your state of mind is one thing that will drastically change the results you’re currently producing.

In his book, Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins gifted us with the technique, “memory management.” This is linking an emotion to a memory which instantly elicits that empowering feeling. Simply know your arsenal of positive memories to think about when you need that extra umph.

Successful people gain access to their most resourceful emotions on a consistent basis, you can too. What’s great about the mind is that they don’t even need to be real memories. Daydreaming about your fantasy life will do the trick too!

“People who succeed at the highest level are not lucky; they’re doing something differently than everyone else.” – Tony Robbins

5. Think Positive as if You Were Norman Vincent Peale

Believing in yourself is vital to succeed, but not crucial to begin. The path to attainment is by forming faith and expectancy that what you desire is going to happen. In Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking, he wrote a chapter for each of these important necessities; believing and expecting. By not having both of these right now, or even just one of them, that shouldn’t stop you from anything!

There’s an undeniable cure for both. To believe in yourself and have the full expectation that what you want will come to pass, the only tactic out there are autosuggestions, commonly known as affirmations.

Developing statements in the positive, present tense and repeating them thousands of times a day, you’ll reprogram your subconscious mind to a success-filled mindset. By convincing your subconscious to believe in your end game, soon enough, you’ll begin to expect it; just like you expect to go to sleep tonight.

Since our minds are the most powerful force in all of creation, it’s time to start using it to its fullest potential. Start today by writing your goal the Napoleon Hill way!

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Success Advice

2 Secret Roads to Success – Why Some People Have It All and How You Can Too

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Have you wondered how some people seem to have it all – the 6-figure pay check, a healthy and fit body and amazing relationships? On the other hand, others are successful in one aspect of our lives (perhaps we are happy with our careers) but there’s always something that’s missing – that strong body, that perfect someone or living a meaningful life.

I’ve personally experienced having a successful career but failed at having a healthy and strong body. When I finally succeeded at getting and staying healthy, I realized that there are two completely different approaches, both of which need to be mastered to find success in life – the goal-driven approach and the process-driven approach.

The Goal-Driven Approach

A goal-driven approach is one in which our goals themselves, are sufficient to motivate us to act until we achieve them. This works well for:

  1. Short-term goals lasting a few days or a few weeks, where we can see the end in sight and push ourselves to get there.
  2. Goals that are usually within or just outside our comfort zone.
  3. Goals that have some certainty of success at the end. For example, working overnight and acing the client presentation the next morning makes us feel proud of our achievement and gets us recognition from our boss.

This approach inherently rewards speed, agility and short bursts of intense work. We end up relying on quick wins or successes which make the task worth it and help us feel motivated to achieve our goals.

Most of us are very adept at using this approach because we’ve grown up in environments, traditional education and companies, which operate this way. Schools and universities set exams and corporate jobs require us to complete tasks upon which we get good grades or promotions.

When the Goal-Driven Approach Doesn’t Work

What a goal-driven approach doesn’t teach us though is how to approach long-term goals like staying healthy, having meaningful relationships or building our careers around our purpose in life.

  1. These goals are usually so big and so long-term that we don’t fully understand all the steps to reach them.
  2. They don’t have any immediate reward associated with them so our motivation to chase them decreases after the initial burst of inspiration. For example, it’s impossible to lose weight and keep it off by just eating healthy for a week.
  3. Because they are so long-term, any future action of ours can completely wipe out the gains made in the beginning of the process which is even more de-motivating. For example, a week of eating healthy can be wiped out by one night of bingeing.
  4. There is also no artificial sense of urgency like deadlines -so we need to find the motivation internally to engage in the task every day. If we ever try to impose timelines on these tasks, it only stresses us out and we compensate by completely sabotaging ourselves like eating an entire pack of cookies one fine night exhausted from a week of eating too little.

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

The Process-Driven Approach

The process-driven approach breaks down our big goals into minute goals and creates a habit to execute these minute goals regularly.

Putting such a habit into place is simple. Just follow these four steps:

  1. Break down your big vision into multiple long-term goals all of which have to work together to make your big vision come true. For example, for your big goal of feeling healthy and fit, you may break it down into eating healthier, exercising regularly and sleeping more.
  2. Pick one of the goals to focus on, ideally the one you think will have the biggest payoff.
  3. Break this goal down into a series of simple activities that you can do without much effort. For example, let’s say you picked eating healthier as your priority goal. One of the activities that might be sabotaging you is your regular McDonald’s dinner on the way back from work. A simple activity that can replace this is to stop driving by McDonald’s if it’s triggering your craving and take a different route back home instead.  This might take a little bit of willpower on the first day but as you get used to the new route over a couple of weeks, it’ll become an automatic habit.
  4. Once the first activity feels like a normal part of your day, stack on the second activity and so on. Similarly, once you’ve achieved the first goal, stack on the second, third and remaining goals to reach your long-term vision.

How to Succeed with the Process-Driven Approach

Though this seems simple in theory, there are two emotional and mindset changes needed to succeed with this method.

The first is to be patient – instead of focusing on the big shiny dream, measure progress against the habit that you’re trying to cultivate. Accept that seeing the big vision come true takes months and sometimes years. Our biggest Achilles heel is impatience and while this works well in academia and work, it backfires in building health and relationships because we end up taking short cuts that harm us long term.

The second is to build rewards into your process – Having rewards is the best way to motivate ourselves and makes our mini-habits easier to stick to. For example, if you don’t eat at McDonald’s then your reward could be having a spa massage at the end of the week.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

Find The Right Balance

At the end of the day, we need to master both goal-driven and process-driven approaches to succeed. Use the goal-driven approach for short-term goals or when you need a burst of energy to push you through a task. Use the process-driven approach for long-term lifestyle change journeys such as getting healthier, having more meaningful relationships or pursuing a career that resonates with your purpose in life. In this way, you too can soon be the person who seems to magically “have it all”.

What are you doing today to reach success later on? Let us know your tips in the comments below!

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Success Advice

You Don’t Have To Listen To Every Bit Of Career Feedback. Some People Just Don’t Get You And That’s Fine!

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I recently got rejected from what I thought was a fantastic career opportunity. I was told that I was “Not entrepreneurial enough.”

Those that know me well know that it’s probably one of the few things I’m good at. Many of my mentors who I told this story to laughed out loud.

These three words were career feedback and I was always led to believe that to ignore this feedback would be ignorant and stupid.

I pondered that thought for a few days and then had a revelation: “I don’t have to listen to every bit of feedback I get.”

 

Pissed off is a natural first reaction.

That’s how I felt after someone told me I was crap at the very thing I love and have dedicated most of my time to. Our brain wants to be angry and fight back. Our first reaction, though, is often not what we should pay attention to.

“Empty space and time to reflect is how we process career feedback for what it really is: an opinion”

Don’t let your first reaction dominate how you think about the feedback. Maturity that can come at any age will show you to question everything – even your reaction.

 

Some people just don’t get you.

You’re not their type, they don’t like you, you speak a different language or you may have different values. Not everyone is going to get you and what you stand for and that’s okay. In my case, I didn’t connect.

Buying into the circus that is me is not for everyone. If you don’t like vulnerability or breaking comfort zones, then you probably won’t like me.

If you’re not obsessed with big goals, doing the impossible and trying to improve just a little bit every day, then you probably won’t like me.

That’s okay and I forgive you. I don’t have all the answers and I’m far from perfect – like the rest of us.

Learn to accept that some people will never get you and what you’re about.

That realization is how we overcome career feedback that we may not agree with.

 

Sometimes it’s any excuse. The real answer is something different.

Feedback can be disguised by the truth. The truth is maybe there was someone else the whole time and I never had a chance at this career opportunity. Maybe it wasn’t me at all.

Sometimes feedback is given because the real reason is much harder to deliver. It’s not easy to say “Tim, thanks but we hired someone else and you were never in the running.”

Admitting you never even had a chance is something many of us would never want to say. Being brutally honest takes courage, and courage is not everyone’s kind of kebab with garlic sauce on top, sprinkles and chili flakes.

 

We all get rejected.

I nearly forgot this fact. Everyone gets rejected. In fact, right now, someone is being rejected.

Rejection is not limited to you and me; learning to deal with it will only help us, not hinder our ability to achieve success in any field.

“We’ve all got 99 problems and thinking you’re special will only create more pointless thoughts that won’t serve you or your goals”

 

You’re responsible.

The thing about career feedback is that you have to take responsibility. Maybe in my case, I didn’t deliver the message of how obsessed and skilled I am at entrepreneurship. Maybe I could have done a better job at explaining my entrepreneurial background and passion.

It’s highly likely that I am entrepreneurial enough for this career opportunity and that it’s not a lack of skill at play here but a lack of effective communication.

“Responsibility always trumps the blame game and it helps us grow more as a person”

 

There’s always one lesson.

Mine was to develop more skills in strategy.

Let’s stop for one second: I hate the word strategy. The other career feedback I got was to do more strategy yet that’s not a skill of mine and I have no desire to do lots of that in my career.

The key here is that there’s always a lesson from all feedback and it might not be the intended lesson that the giver left you with.

There’s either a great lesson in the feedback or a reminder in the feedback of what you stand for. Don’t let any feedback compromise your values and who you are.

 

You are good enough.

You just have to believe in yourself and eventually, the right opportunity will find you.

Don’t give up your hopes and dreams because of one rejection. Interrupt the story in your head that plays on repeat and focuses on anger towards another person.

Replace that story with thoughts of how you can do better and get to the next opportunity.

Through rejection and bad career feedback, you find your way to what you’ve always wanted. That’s the hack and it works.

I’m off to suck up the rejection and take my own advice. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Life

The 9 Question Exercise Which Will Help You Prioritize What Matters Most

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You’re busy, I get it. If you’re like me, you’re constantly jumping from one activity to the next. From one commitment to another, you barely have enough time to think, let alone ask yourself the meaningful questions that will help you drive your career forward or lift your business to the next level. Nonetheless, you owe it to yourself and those around you to take the time to clearly define your goals and your aspirations if you are going to make real progress in any direction. (more…)

McVal Osborne is the author of Start Up your Life: Why we don’t know what we want, and how to set goals that really matter. McVal writes about motivation, decision making, and strategic thinking. He graduated from UC Santa Barbara in 2011 with a degree in Spanish, and has since worked as a market researcher and business consultant in Washington D.C., New York City and London. You can reach him on Twitter @mcval or on IG @mcvaliant.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Christine

    Jun 6, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Hi Tim, Thanks for this great article! I remember Tony said positive thinking is like going to your garden and say there’s no weeds.

  2. Toño

    May 11, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Every time I open up A2S page I play a little game – guess who’s the author! As I read lots of articles here I slowly become familiar with style many of you make your titles up and needless to say, when I saw Tony Robbins this morning I told myself : “If this is not Tim Denning there has to be something wrong with this world” 🙂

    Writing this while reading your article I can say that friend of yours is a very brave man. It is never easy to leave the country of your origins and travel to different place, I know that quite well. And this decision been based on Tony Robbins’ cd. Amazing!

    Only recently I learned from Tony’s book that we exactly do our state of mind. We think being depressed is easy and just happend to us the other day, however offer this attitude to a very happy and super positive person and you’ll quickly find out it will be quite hard to ‘infect’ him with such poor behaviour. The reason is simple – you’ve put a lot fo work into your depression and now it can be easily achievable for you after years of practice, and now you can do that exact state of mind. It is so simple!

    I also love how Tony embrace responsibility for our own life, for pretty much every single event, it is our fault or our reward. We so tend to blame people, birds, weather, music, gods around that we become slaves of our environment instead of being powerful makers. It is hard pill to swallow sometimes, but it is what it is.

    I have learnt new things as well here: “you will never learn anything if you consume the information in a static state.” And another thing: ‘your brain is not designed to make you happy it’s designed to make you survive.’ Amazing, isn’t it?

    And lastly, my favourite: Happiness is a decision. Few years ago I’ve watched Independent movie ‘The Tree’. I think it was filmed in Australia actually, with beautiful scenery and wonderful actors play. I would say it was more like theatre, slow actions, not everyone would enjoy it. But I did and watched it more than once. The huge message of this movie came from little girl (amazing Morgana Davies): “I choose to be happy” said the little girl after her father’s death. I’ve got chills down my spine. You have to choose to be happy and emrace your present moment!

    Oh, and I adore the Wonder Woman pose 😀 Gotta use it at my job now and then to show who’s the boss haha!

    Beautiful read, Tim, thank you so very much for article! My eternal gratitude, man. Have a wonderful day, stay healthy!

    • Tim Denning

      May 11, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      Toño you have read so much of my stuff now so it’s no wonder you can spot the headlines…lol. What I have found in recent times that seems to be common amongst all successful people is some form of learning from Tony Robbins whether it be a cd or a seminar. His lessons are simple yet truly groundbreaking in the way he delivers them

      I feel Toño that every time you write a comment you helping to educate yourself by reinforcing the lessons you learning which is cool. Thanks again mate for reading 🙂

  3. Nick depaila

    May 10, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Thank you for article, Tim. Your work is phenomenal, spot-on and a must read for me. Keep it up, I greatly appreciate it!

    • Tim Denning

      May 11, 2016 at 5:09 am

      Wow thanks Nick for the very nice and unexpected feedback! It’s comments like this that make me love what I do so thank you.

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Success Advice

What I’ve Learned Working In Finance For Six Years (Hint: It Applies To Everyone)

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I’ve been in the corporate world of finance now for more than six years. I get everyone from kids straight out of college, to older guys and girls that have been out of the workforce for ages, to people looking for a career change asking about the finance industry.

I’ve found the real lessons I’ve gained from working in finance are far broader than just one industry. Finance has taught me life skills and how to deal with people. While the startup world was fun, the finance industry gave me some extra skills.

Here’s what I learned working in finance:

 

1. The grass is never greener.

Over the years, many of my colleagues have left finance to start their own thing or join some new age fintech that apparently has all the answers – that is, until they come up against credit risk or accidentally fund terrorism through their products and services. The grass is never greener.

“Every company, whether it’s a large bank or one you started yourself, is going to have challenges. It comes down to which flavors of challenges you like the most”

Maybe you have to be really innovative in your career but don’t mind lack of funding or small travel budgets.

Maybe you have to work with really smart people but don’t mind being in a low budget office. The people I’ve met in finance that are always chasing greener grass never seem to find it.

At some point, we can’t avoid challenges or people we don’t like – they exist in all companies whether we like it or not. Learning to deal with these facts is how I’ve stayed in finance for six years and not given up on my career.

 

2. There are mediocre people everywhere we go.

In finance, like any industry, there are mediocre people. Some of them are uneducated; some of them lack critical thinking; some of them have zero sales ability; some are afraid of customers; some of them love a good company paid breakfast for no good reason. We can’t avoid mediocre people.

“What I’ve learned through my years in finance is that it’s not that people are mediocre or dumb; it’s that everyone has different priorities”

Some people want to leave at 5:01 pm to be with their kids and that’s okay.

Just because we don’t prioritize our career and our KPIs, doesn’t mean any of us are dumb because of it. There are many levels of intelligence within a company and all are acceptable.

I’ve visited a few unique and prestigious businesses in Silicon Valley where everyone is a genius and these companies spend half their time arguing who the smartest person is in the room rather than getting down to business and solving a real problem in the world.

 

3. There are good leaders and bad ones.

Don’t get emotional about it, just spend as much time as you can with the good ones. There will be leaders you encounter who are trying it out and who’ve been given a chance. There will be other leaders you meet that are born for the role.

Everyone has the right to step up and be a leader regardless of their ability.

My career in finance has been focused on getting around the good leaders. Sometimes you’ll have to work for a bad leader and the key is to suck it up, eat shit for a while, and then leave and work for a leader you believe in.

 

4. Your career is never going to be full of highlights.

I was on the homepage of our company’s website twice in one year. Many never get this chance ever in their career and it happened to me twice in one year.

Then there was a year after that where nothing happened. There were no big milestones, no punching the air and plenty of low points involving customers.

In finance, and in the business world, it’s never going to be a back-to-back show-reel of Instagram highlights where we win every day.

There will be periods of massive growth and then there will be months and even years where nothing happens – times where we show up for work each day expecting something big to happen and it doesn’t.

 

5. The need for a side hustle.

Our career can’t always be full of highlights, which is why we need a side hustle. Think of it like another avenue that we can use to kick goals, grow and broaden your skills. For me, outside of working in finance, it became social media and blogging. Over the last five years of my finance career, I’ve hustled my face off learning somewhat non-related skills that have nothing to do with finance.

Side hustles allow us to explore our wild side. Working in finance can be quite dry and without my side hustle, I may have succumbed to suppressing my emotions, wearing a corporate mask and dressing in a suit and tie every day.

Side hustles helped me keep it real. Some days I work in jeans and a t-shirt. Other days I wear the cliché suit. My side hustle helped me live a little and get some perspective on what the finance industry was really about. The answer? Like every business, finance is about people.

 

6. Once we understand people, we’re set.

People go through a range of emotions every day. Once we understand that what’s happening in business could be entirely down to the fact they’re human, and nothing to do with business, we see the business landscape differently.

We become more compassionate to stakeholders, we treat customers with kindness and we quit thinking that we’re a freaking genius that has all the answers and if only people would listen to us the business would make 10X the profits.

Business is about people and by understanding them we can see it for what it is. Our customers are also people, and our interactions with them become easier when we come to grips with this fact.

If I were to get you to learn one thing, it would be the basics of psychology. Most of the key points can be Googled for free but the value they bring will help whether you’re in finance or any another industry.

 

7. We’re all constantly growing in secret.

I always thought that GM’s, CEO’s, etc, had it made. I always thought that they woke up each day and came to work with a killer instinct. The finance industry taught me I was wrong. The leaders we admire with those big job titles are just like you and me: they’re scared as F.

The difference is that the leaders we admire are growing in secret.

You think they have it made but when you get in their head, you realize that even with their success they suffer the same human pitfalls that you and I do. The difference is they embrace those pitfalls and take action regardless.

Even your heroes are fearful when they have to perform, but they do it anyway.

 

8. Your happiness doesn’t stay the same.

At the start of a new role in any industry, we’re loaded with energy. We come to work with new strategies and different ways to acquire customers. Then a few years go by and we become a bit negative. We see the same challenges over and over and the same people failing to take action.

This can lead to unhappiness in our career.

What working in finance has taught me is that there will be times we’re really happy with our role and other times where we are unhappy.

What we learn in the unhappy times helps us when we’re living through the happy times. If you expect to get into any industry and be blazing on fire for decades straight you’ll be sadly disappointed. One solution I’ve found is to change up my career and try new things.

Maybe you start in a sales role and end up working in product or risk. Maybe you work in customer service and end up in a strategy role.

Much of the unhappiness is tied to boredom and changing roles can help reboot our happiness at work.

 

9. Innovation is much harder than we think.

Geez, if there’s is one thing I have seen a lot of in many financial services businesses it’s innovation. So many companies have tried it and it never works. Sometimes it’s too much red tape that is put around the business or idea which ultimately suffocates the life out of any opportunity to innovate.

Other times it’s the wrong people that kill the innovation.

“Surprisingly, one thing that makes innovation really challenging is an abundance of resources”

Large businesses can afford to throw lots of money against the wall at innovation whereas startups can’t.

The limitations and budget restraints a startup has are often why they can be nimble and innovative. In the end, true innovation is damn hard. If it were easy, then many businesses would be more successful than they are.

The key is not to give up on innovation. It’s a slow process to embed innovation into the culture of a business and get results. True innovation requires a lot more failure than the leaders in the business world are often comfortable with.

It’s only by looking at what doesn’t work that we find truly innovative solutions.

 

10. It’s not about networking: it’s about helping.

Someone emailed me yesterday and said, “Hey I’d like to network with you.”

I thought to myself “Wow that sounds really silly!”

This idea that we have to network is stupid. What makes more sense is to build relationships just like we would with friends. Networking is focused too much on what we can get and what we will give in return. It’s transactional and it feels unnatural.

The subtle difference is that when we build a relationship with someone (instead of network with them) we’re not seeking anything from them. There’s no expectation and that’s where the magic lies right there.

 

11. We all experience bad publicity. It’s how we handle it.

Even monster success stories like Facebook have bad publicity. Working in finance can have some ugly moments. Not everyone is honest and there will be times where the business you work for or even your own business may face negative publicity.

No company or industry (including finance) is perfect. Businesses make mistakes just like humans do because ‘Business’ is just a label for a group of humans doing their life’s work.

Expecting the company you work for to be a perfect corporate citizen is a fantasy.

 

12. Listening to customers is not easy but it works.

Working in finance has allowed me to see my fair share of angry customers. For years, I tried to defend my position and this caused me to miss what the customer was saying.

After a while in finance, I learned that if you shut up and listen to the client, you learn much more. Sometimes they might yell at you for 30-minutes flat. Sit there and listen.

By listening, you get the chance to understand the problem fully and it gets your mind ticking with ideas. When people feel they are being properly listened to, they’re more receptive to the solutions you present for their problems.

It’s freaking revolutionary when you listen more. Not just in business but in life too.

 

13. What you have for lunch matters.

I was eating chicken nuggets in a bread roll for ages and it caused me to be sleepy in the afternoon. This killed my productivity and my desire to work effectively so I would cram all my challenging tasks into the morning.

Once I learned what a proper lunch was and began eating one every day, my energy, mood and productivity improved. I’m still getting better but what I learned is to monitor carefully what I eat if I want the energy to excel in my career. Bread, at lunchtime in particular, tends to suck away my energy later in the afternoon.

 

14. Kindness and compassion are superpowers.

Your humility separates you from the pack. Trying my best in my finance career to show compassion and be kind to people has helped me immensely. These two traits are rarer than you think.

In the business world, kindness and compassion are the glue that sticks all of the right opportunities together for you and presents them as a beautiful collage.

The reason I’ve had some cool opportunities (particularly of late) is that I’ve tried to be different instead of being like everyone else. I’ve questioned the way business works and experimented with kindness and compassion.

It turns out these two traits make people see me in a weird way. It’s almost like these two traits make me more human.

Kindness and compassion are about seeing the best in people before making assumptions that they’re out to screw you. Kindness and compassion are about believing in the power of the human species above all else.

 

15. Taking off the mask is freeing.

For the first half of my career in finance, I wore a mask. It’s hard to admit but it’s true. I used corporate language like “revenue targets” and “customer value proposition” and took a notepad to meetings to look smart. I wore the nicely ironed suit with the cute little cufflinks.

I said hello politely to everyone and was graceful. When it came to social media, I promoted the company and supported my colleagues. I told people I liked what they did even when I didn’t.

I did all of this because I thought that being fake and wearing a mask of bravery and perfection was what you had to do to succeed. I thought that’s how business land worked.

I found that all of this acting became exhausting and it was incongruent with who I really was. Deep down, I was an entrepreneur and a highly creative person that wanted to express himself.

After a string of bizarre situations – like narrowly missing cancer and seeing a few people close to me like my grandma pass away – I decided to throw away the mask.

I started dropping the odd F-Bomb. I told people politely when I didn’t like their idea. I became brutally honest with clients and stopped telling them what they wanted to hear.

All of this led to the real version of me being on display. Some people liked it and others weren’t interested.

“Either way, you can’t keep faking it till you make it at work every day because eventually, you’ll fall down from all the BS and wonder whose life you’ve been living for the last six years”

 

16. Scheduling holidays in advance provides additional motivation.

Let’s not pretend we’re 100% motivated each week at work. Some weeks will suck and that’s normal. Booking holidays in advance gives me a permanent memory of yet another thing that’s great about life: taking breaks.

The first half of my finance career involved almost no holidays. Not only did I become burnt out, but I also didn’t have as much to look forward to. Then I began booking in holidays to New Zealand, the USA and Japan. My motivation changed. I’d work harder leading up to holiday time so that I could take an even bigger break away from it all.

Holidays became like a reset button for my finance career and they gave me something else to aim for other than boring old KPIs.

 

17. Working really long hours means there’s a problem.

There have been a lot of times I’ve encountered people in finance working their butt off. I used to think it’s cool; now I see it as a problem.

If you’re working long hours, there is a problem. You’re either unproductive, distracted or under-resourced. All of these issues can be resolved and working stupidly hard is not the answer.

“Productivity is the opposite of working long hours”

 

18. You’ll have to speak in front of others.

That’s why I tell everybody to get their arse to Toastmasters and learn how to speak without having a thousand Ums and Ahs between every word. Public speaking is a basic form of communication and mastering it is how you get across your ideas, visions and tell phenomenal stories.

No matter your speaking ability in front of others, it’s time to improve it.

 

19. Most people have no idea about business so don’t feel so bad.

Yep, that’s the truth! All these people you meet in business that sound like they know what they’re talking about often don’t. They are just regurgitating something they heard or read which they thought was right.

We all pretend like business is an art and so many times it’s not what it’s made out to be. The science of business has more to do with life skills than anything else. Most books about business try and overcomplicate something that isn’t that hard.

“The greatest challenge and complexity with business is understanding its simplicity”

 

20. Change is guaranteed. Why not embrace it?

And here’s the final thing I’ll say: whether you work in finance like me or in another industry, change is guaranteed. One of these will happen to you:

–    Your industry will be disrupted if it hasn’t been already

–    Your company will go through a restructure, merger or be acquired which may cause you to lose your job

–    The business you are a part of could fail

–    Or a natural disaster or manmade event like a GFC could screw with your career

Change is guaranteed in your career so rather than avoiding it, what I’ve learned in finance is to embrace it. See the fork in the road as the greatest gift you’ve ever been given.

Welcome change with open arms otherwise it will be the kiss of death to your perfect, cookie-cutter career in whatever.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

5 Ways to Think Yourself Into Mind Blowing Results From Globally Renowned Leaders

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deep thought

Many wonder why someone who’s less qualified is achieving greater success even though you’re smarter, work harder, or even have more influential connections. The only way someone succeeds is by thinking correctly. It doesn’t matter who you know, what school you attended, or what grades you got; all that matters are your thoughts. Both men and women around the world have been telling people “the secret” to success for hundreds of years. It’s time to listen.

Here are five tactics to begin today:

1. Writing Goals the Napoleon Hill Way

Thinking yourself into mind blowing results starts with the end in mind. Athletes know exactly what their goal is and how to earn the points to win. Life’s exactly the same.  In nearly every Napoleon Hill book, he lays out a goal achieving formula which has helped millions around the world. By following this, you will accomplish something you currently believe is impossible.

Start by writing a clear statement of your desire, then formulate a clear plan to attain it. You’ll also need to know what you plan on giving up in return. Set a definite time limit. Everything you wrote down, memorize it and repeat it to yourself often. It’s imperative you express gratitude towards receiving the results you’re still working for. Be grateful you achieved your desired outcomes long before you actually materialize them into your world.

“If you cannot do great things yourself, remember that you may do small things in a great way.” – Napoleon Hill

2. Creating Your Mental Image How Bob Proctor Teaches

In Bob Proctor’s’ book, You Were Born Rich, he titled Chapter 3, “The Image Maker” because we think in pictures. Our thoughts are like movie clips being projected on the screens of our minds; control the pictures, control the outcomes.  It’s vital to manage our thoughts and expel the ones that don’t serve us. Knowing this, you’re now the ‘mental architect’ of your life, of your destiny!

Once you have your desired outcome, it’s time to put that image on the screen of your mind. See yourself already in possession of what you desire. Clearly watch yourself living it, hearing the sounds and feeling the feelings you’ll experience.

A powerful question to ask to know which moment should be on the screen of your mind is, “what’s the last thing that needs to happen in order for me to know I’ve achieved the result I’m after?” This is the moment to focus on!

3. Allow Dr. David Schwartz to Give Yourself a Daily Pep-Talk

Start thinking more of yourself through self-praise. You’ll begin to discover how much bigger and stronger you feel when you upgrade your thinking habits. In Dr. David Schwartz’s book, The Magic of Thinking Big, he provides you with a daily technique. Constantly reminding yourself that you’re top-notch by using his “Sell-Yourself-to-Yourself 60 Second Commercial.”

Developing the “commercial” is as easy as writing down your assets and points of superiority. What’ll separate you from the herd is practicing your “commercial” out loud in front of a mirror once a day with enthusiasm and determination. Lastly, read it silently many times throughout the day as a constant reminder of your greatness. Just like a written goal, keep this with you at all times. It’s a great mental tool to regain enthusiasm and determination after the inevitable setback.

4. Experience Unlimited Power Like Tony Robbins

Have you heard about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? It’s the study of success and how to emulate it; it’s the language of the mind and how to create concise results. From the many learnings gathered from both Tony Robbins and the study of NLP, controlling your state of mind is one thing that will drastically change the results you’re currently producing.

In his book, Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins gifted us with the technique, “memory management.” This is linking an emotion to a memory which instantly elicits that empowering feeling. Simply know your arsenal of positive memories to think about when you need that extra umph.

Successful people gain access to their most resourceful emotions on a consistent basis, you can too. What’s great about the mind is that they don’t even need to be real memories. Daydreaming about your fantasy life will do the trick too!

“People who succeed at the highest level are not lucky; they’re doing something differently than everyone else.” – Tony Robbins

5. Think Positive as if You Were Norman Vincent Peale

Believing in yourself is vital to succeed, but not crucial to begin. The path to attainment is by forming faith and expectancy that what you desire is going to happen. In Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking, he wrote a chapter for each of these important necessities; believing and expecting. By not having both of these right now, or even just one of them, that shouldn’t stop you from anything!

There’s an undeniable cure for both. To believe in yourself and have the full expectation that what you want will come to pass, the only tactic out there are autosuggestions, commonly known as affirmations.

Developing statements in the positive, present tense and repeating them thousands of times a day, you’ll reprogram your subconscious mind to a success-filled mindset. By convincing your subconscious to believe in your end game, soon enough, you’ll begin to expect it; just like you expect to go to sleep tonight.

Since our minds are the most powerful force in all of creation, it’s time to start using it to its fullest potential. Start today by writing your goal the Napoleon Hill way!

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Success Advice

2 Secret Roads to Success – Why Some People Have It All and How You Can Too

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road to success

Have you wondered how some people seem to have it all – the 6-figure pay check, a healthy and fit body and amazing relationships? On the other hand, others are successful in one aspect of our lives (perhaps we are happy with our careers) but there’s always something that’s missing – that strong body, that perfect someone or living a meaningful life.

I’ve personally experienced having a successful career but failed at having a healthy and strong body. When I finally succeeded at getting and staying healthy, I realized that there are two completely different approaches, both of which need to be mastered to find success in life – the goal-driven approach and the process-driven approach.

The Goal-Driven Approach

A goal-driven approach is one in which our goals themselves, are sufficient to motivate us to act until we achieve them. This works well for:

  1. Short-term goals lasting a few days or a few weeks, where we can see the end in sight and push ourselves to get there.
  2. Goals that are usually within or just outside our comfort zone.
  3. Goals that have some certainty of success at the end. For example, working overnight and acing the client presentation the next morning makes us feel proud of our achievement and gets us recognition from our boss.

This approach inherently rewards speed, agility and short bursts of intense work. We end up relying on quick wins or successes which make the task worth it and help us feel motivated to achieve our goals.

Most of us are very adept at using this approach because we’ve grown up in environments, traditional education and companies, which operate this way. Schools and universities set exams and corporate jobs require us to complete tasks upon which we get good grades or promotions.

When the Goal-Driven Approach Doesn’t Work

What a goal-driven approach doesn’t teach us though is how to approach long-term goals like staying healthy, having meaningful relationships or building our careers around our purpose in life.

  1. These goals are usually so big and so long-term that we don’t fully understand all the steps to reach them.
  2. They don’t have any immediate reward associated with them so our motivation to chase them decreases after the initial burst of inspiration. For example, it’s impossible to lose weight and keep it off by just eating healthy for a week.
  3. Because they are so long-term, any future action of ours can completely wipe out the gains made in the beginning of the process which is even more de-motivating. For example, a week of eating healthy can be wiped out by one night of bingeing.
  4. There is also no artificial sense of urgency like deadlines -so we need to find the motivation internally to engage in the task every day. If we ever try to impose timelines on these tasks, it only stresses us out and we compensate by completely sabotaging ourselves like eating an entire pack of cookies one fine night exhausted from a week of eating too little.

“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

The Process-Driven Approach

The process-driven approach breaks down our big goals into minute goals and creates a habit to execute these minute goals regularly.

Putting such a habit into place is simple. Just follow these four steps:

  1. Break down your big vision into multiple long-term goals all of which have to work together to make your big vision come true. For example, for your big goal of feeling healthy and fit, you may break it down into eating healthier, exercising regularly and sleeping more.
  2. Pick one of the goals to focus on, ideally the one you think will have the biggest payoff.
  3. Break this goal down into a series of simple activities that you can do without much effort. For example, let’s say you picked eating healthier as your priority goal. One of the activities that might be sabotaging you is your regular McDonald’s dinner on the way back from work. A simple activity that can replace this is to stop driving by McDonald’s if it’s triggering your craving and take a different route back home instead.  This might take a little bit of willpower on the first day but as you get used to the new route over a couple of weeks, it’ll become an automatic habit.
  4. Once the first activity feels like a normal part of your day, stack on the second activity and so on. Similarly, once you’ve achieved the first goal, stack on the second, third and remaining goals to reach your long-term vision.

How to Succeed with the Process-Driven Approach

Though this seems simple in theory, there are two emotional and mindset changes needed to succeed with this method.

The first is to be patient – instead of focusing on the big shiny dream, measure progress against the habit that you’re trying to cultivate. Accept that seeing the big vision come true takes months and sometimes years. Our biggest Achilles heel is impatience and while this works well in academia and work, it backfires in building health and relationships because we end up taking short cuts that harm us long term.

The second is to build rewards into your process – Having rewards is the best way to motivate ourselves and makes our mini-habits easier to stick to. For example, if you don’t eat at McDonald’s then your reward could be having a spa massage at the end of the week.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

Find The Right Balance

At the end of the day, we need to master both goal-driven and process-driven approaches to succeed. Use the goal-driven approach for short-term goals or when you need a burst of energy to push you through a task. Use the process-driven approach for long-term lifestyle change journeys such as getting healthier, having more meaningful relationships or pursuing a career that resonates with your purpose in life. In this way, you too can soon be the person who seems to magically “have it all”.

What are you doing today to reach success later on? Let us know your tips in the comments below!

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Success Advice

You Don’t Have To Listen To Every Bit Of Career Feedback. Some People Just Don’t Get You And That’s Fine!

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I recently got rejected from what I thought was a fantastic career opportunity. I was told that I was “Not entrepreneurial enough.”

Those that know me well know that it’s probably one of the few things I’m good at. Many of my mentors who I told this story to laughed out loud.

These three words were career feedback and I was always led to believe that to ignore this feedback would be ignorant and stupid.

I pondered that thought for a few days and then had a revelation: “I don’t have to listen to every bit of feedback I get.”

 

Pissed off is a natural first reaction.

That’s how I felt after someone told me I was crap at the very thing I love and have dedicated most of my time to. Our brain wants to be angry and fight back. Our first reaction, though, is often not what we should pay attention to.

“Empty space and time to reflect is how we process career feedback for what it really is: an opinion”

Don’t let your first reaction dominate how you think about the feedback. Maturity that can come at any age will show you to question everything – even your reaction.

 

Some people just don’t get you.

You’re not their type, they don’t like you, you speak a different language or you may have different values. Not everyone is going to get you and what you stand for and that’s okay. In my case, I didn’t connect.

Buying into the circus that is me is not for everyone. If you don’t like vulnerability or breaking comfort zones, then you probably won’t like me.

If you’re not obsessed with big goals, doing the impossible and trying to improve just a little bit every day, then you probably won’t like me.

That’s okay and I forgive you. I don’t have all the answers and I’m far from perfect – like the rest of us.

Learn to accept that some people will never get you and what you’re about.

That realization is how we overcome career feedback that we may not agree with.

 

Sometimes it’s any excuse. The real answer is something different.

Feedback can be disguised by the truth. The truth is maybe there was someone else the whole time and I never had a chance at this career opportunity. Maybe it wasn’t me at all.

Sometimes feedback is given because the real reason is much harder to deliver. It’s not easy to say “Tim, thanks but we hired someone else and you were never in the running.”

Admitting you never even had a chance is something many of us would never want to say. Being brutally honest takes courage, and courage is not everyone’s kind of kebab with garlic sauce on top, sprinkles and chili flakes.

 

We all get rejected.

I nearly forgot this fact. Everyone gets rejected. In fact, right now, someone is being rejected.

Rejection is not limited to you and me; learning to deal with it will only help us, not hinder our ability to achieve success in any field.

“We’ve all got 99 problems and thinking you’re special will only create more pointless thoughts that won’t serve you or your goals”

 

You’re responsible.

The thing about career feedback is that you have to take responsibility. Maybe in my case, I didn’t deliver the message of how obsessed and skilled I am at entrepreneurship. Maybe I could have done a better job at explaining my entrepreneurial background and passion.

It’s highly likely that I am entrepreneurial enough for this career opportunity and that it’s not a lack of skill at play here but a lack of effective communication.

“Responsibility always trumps the blame game and it helps us grow more as a person”

 

There’s always one lesson.

Mine was to develop more skills in strategy.

Let’s stop for one second: I hate the word strategy. The other career feedback I got was to do more strategy yet that’s not a skill of mine and I have no desire to do lots of that in my career.

The key here is that there’s always a lesson from all feedback and it might not be the intended lesson that the giver left you with.

There’s either a great lesson in the feedback or a reminder in the feedback of what you stand for. Don’t let any feedback compromise your values and who you are.

 

You are good enough.

You just have to believe in yourself and eventually, the right opportunity will find you.

Don’t give up your hopes and dreams because of one rejection. Interrupt the story in your head that plays on repeat and focuses on anger towards another person.

Replace that story with thoughts of how you can do better and get to the next opportunity.

Through rejection and bad career feedback, you find your way to what you’ve always wanted. That’s the hack and it works.

I’m off to suck up the rejection and take my own advice. Much respect.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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