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How to Manage Your Bouncebackability

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I am spending my time trying to articulate how having an understanding of the Three Principles – Mind, Consciousness and Thought is useful for dealing with any area of challenge in our lives; in doing that I am sticking to only what I know to be true.

The outside world will not change and will throw curveballs at us at times:

  •       A breakdown in relationship
  •       Losing a job
  •       Death
  •       Not achieving what we want
  •       Somebody’s opinion of us
  •       A severe physical illness

Life can suck. It will throw challenges and it can hurt. It’s OK to ‘NOT BE OK’. This is the kind of heartfelt message I’ve seen a lot across social media and I’m not questioning its seriously good intention.

Of course we should not punish ourselves for ‘not feeling ok’ – showing ourselves acceptance – as well as to others, is important as otherwise, there is a danger that our mood spirals downwards with our negative thinking of punishment for feeling a particular way. Our acceptance though is just our feeling in the moment – I don’t wish for that acceptance to be confused with accepting that ‘this is all we’re ever going to have’. That is not the case.

We are all equipped with the tools that we need to bounce back from anything – any curveball that is thrown our way. We can never be psychologically broken. Which means that, whatever we are feeling isn’t ‘our lot’ in life.

With our understanding in the Three Principles, we know that whatever we are feeling, it will pass. So, of course it is ‘OK TO NOT BE OK’, with the caveat, that we know it won’t always be like that.

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

It is impossible to feel one way all of the time.

I once saw a short video of a man with no legs, literally just using his arms to lift his bottom off the floor every metre of the way, to complete a full length marathon. It just inspired me so much, almost bringing tears to my eyes. I was in awe of him, just mesmerised – it was uplifting for me.

We know that something that is uplifting and inspiring for one person may well work differently in terms of placing pressure on someone else to feel a particular way. That is not the intention here.

What is the same for every human being, however, is that we are creating our own reality in the moment. Our own story. 

What inspires you? Why is that? How do you feel right now thinking about that inspiration? This brings me back to those challenges we mentioned earlier, that we or people we know, have in our lives.

Whilst it may really, really look like it is the event (the outside experience) causing us to feel a particular way inside, this is the illusion and the common misunderstanding that most people have. We’ve seen for ourselves though, by thinking about our uplifting experience, it creates the experience from the inside out. Otherwise, we would all feel the same way about the man who carried himself through a marathon, which is not the case.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas Edison

My experience

There was a period in my life when I spent a lot of time thinking about when I was bullied at work. This was perhaps even 6 months after it had finished. Remembering dates when things happened, were said or done. I must have spent time thinking about those experiences at some point whilst on holiday, whilst with children, when driving or when in the company of best friends.

My share does illuminate a very important point, in the sense that – I thought about my bad experience whilst involved in arguably enjoyable experiences, such as holiday or when with my children. This works the other way around – we can think of extremely good experiences when we find ourselves in not-so-good circumstances. Similar to what we did a short moment ago with our uplifting experience, when perhaps some of us were not in a good space.

For me, when thinking about the bullying, I punished myself for feeling a particular way that wasn’t healthy. However, those feelings should not mean that we punish ourselves for it – it’s most likely to be normal. We can accept it – accept ourselves for it. As long as we know that those clouds will pass as they are transient and it is impossible to always feel like that.

At that moment, just having the understanding is where our ‘bouncing back’ begins. We’re more ‘bouncebackable’ than we think!

We’re creating our own experience of feeling stronger, more resourceful, more able and hopeful. The truth is, we were always strong – all we may have done, is forget.

You may have noticed, but I purposely haven’t mentioned ‘positive thinking’ in any of this article. What I’m speaking about is something else at work; it runs deeper than sheer determination, resilience, willpower and a work ethic to bounce back. Those qualities without doubt, are important to have and we can use them as a good back-up!

However, understanding how we create our experience from moment-to-moment, accepting ourselves in the moment, knowing that we will continue to grow and that we can’t be psychologically broken – this is impossible, then we are already bouncing back. There is no line to say we have ‘bounced back’ as such, only in the parameters that we might set ourselves or what others have set us. And those parameters are all made up.

Trusting ourselves to know what is our next step is all we need to know in bouncing back

What about this article resonated most with you and why? Share your thoughts with us below!

Dave Knight helps to change lives through a conversation that guides people back towards their innate health and wellbeing. With a background in mental health, addictions, business and sport, his time is being dedicated to educating people through Articles, his Bulletproof Yourself products, 1:1 work with clients; small groups, as well as articles. The focus of the work is to help people feel bulletproof against any area of challenge in their lives.

Success Advice

5 Smart Goals to Make This Year Your Most Successful Ever

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Setting goals at the start of the year means you will know exactly what you need to do throughout the year to be successful. By setting goals, it forces you to build a plan about how you intend to achieve those goals. By having a plan in place, you will wake up every morning with a clear idea of what it is you need to do each day. Just by writing down your goals, there is a 42% greater chance you will achieve those goals than if they just stayed in your head. It may seem like a small thing but actually creating goals every year and then writing them down significantly improves your chances of success. (more…)

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7 Ways to Face Adversity Using the Power of Extreme Ownership

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Adversity is an inevitable part of our lives, and it is an important and defining factor of our personal story. The stories we build for ourselves in the face of adversity will either empower or discourage us emotionally, help us move forward or remain stuck in the past, allow us to grow or to decline. (more…)

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Why Your Confidence Needs to Match Your Competence

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Even if you produce amazing results at your job or in other areas of your life, others may still not see you as being competent if you lack the confidence to back it up. If you are good at your job, exuding confidence will ensure others also recognize your competence in your area of expertise. And research backs this up. (more…)

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5 Things You Can Learn From The 5am Club by Robin Sharma

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It has been said by Robin Sharma, “5 AM is the time of least distraction, highest human glory, and greatest peace.” This also happens to be the central idea or the core value he has discussed in his book, ‘The 5 Am Club.’ Speaking of early mornings, at what time do you wake up? Are you annoyed by the fact that you wake up on the edge of time and then rush to work in haste? 

The life lessons put forth by The 5 AM Club are exactly the learning and motivation you need to challenge your complacency. In your race against time, you may not have the time to read this fabulous book. So, we have summed up the key book’s takeaways for your convenience.

1. The vigor of waking up early

This is what the book’s most fundamental advice to everyone is. Waking up at 5 am every day can work wonders to avert failures and make success a natural habit. When we wake up at 5 am, we have more time on our hands than others. Besides, this is when we have minimum interruptions and maximum powerfulness of the mind. 

To add, the early morning peace is priceless! You can schedule your most important tasks of the day between 5am, and 8am. This book teaches us in the simplest way, how we can train our mind and strengthen it to deliver the highest productivity by waking up early. This energy that you have when you wake up in the morning and the few additional hours in your day are what serve as perfect ingredients for success.

“The secret to productivity is simplicity.” – Robin Sharma

2. The power of finding the right balance in life

The book talks about a precious lesson of finding the right balance within. We often talk about the need for mindfulness and achieving the right mindset to perceive things. But this book goes a few steps ahead of our usual approach to life. It highlights the vitality of mindset and introduces the concepts of heartset, healthset, and soulset.

These terms may seem new, but they are self-explanatory. The idea of heartset endorses the essentialness of emotional stability and well-being. Next, the perspective of healthset indicates the need to look after physical health. At last, soulset is an attribute of spirituality. As explained in this book, success prospects can be enhanced big time by achieving the right balance between these internal virtues.

3. The iconic 20/20/20 modus operandi

What is the first thing you will do if you start waking up at 5 am every day? Did you ever spare a thought about it? This book has the answer to this question, and you will be convinced that it is a great way to begin your day!. The author suggests that you should split the first hour of the day into three equal parts of 20 minutes each.

In the first 20 minutes of the day, you should prioritize your physical fitness and exercise. In the next 20 minutes, you should energize your soul and spirit via self-reflection and soulful meditation. This will prepare you for the rest of the day and will enable you to bolster your commitment and focus. In the last 20 minutes of the first hour, you should read and learn. But what are you going to read about in those 20 minutes? Read about successful people and their inspiring journeys to the pinnacle of success.

4. The significance of a proper sleep schedule

In this book, there is a mention of ‘a ferocious global sleep recession’, which is intriguing and enlightening. It hints at the state of sleep deprivation that this world is sinking into gradually. We often associate success and hard work with the notion of staying up all night and testing our endurance beyond limits. But that is not the right approach to accomplishing success, or rather, it is a flawed methodology.

Sometimes even if we do not have any critical work, we keep whiling our night time on social media or television. What are we gaining from it is the real question, and I am afraid the answer is nothing! We learn from this book that it is critical to look after your sleep cycle and start your day at 5 am afresh. Sleep and rest are indispensable for mental and physical well-being, or your productivity will decline.

“If you want to have the results only 5% have, you must be willing to do and think like only 5% do and think.” – Robin Sharma

5. The art of evolving

The book sheds light on the need to be spiritual and master self-reflection. However, do you realize the purpose that the routine of reflection each morning serves? The idea is to keep learning, keep reflecting on the mistakes and keep evolution an ongoing process. You should evolve every day and strive to be a better version of yourself every day. So, one of your primary goals after waking up should be to reflect on your actions and missed opportunities of the previous day.

To recapitulate, The 5 AM Club is a must-read book if you are a passionate reader. It has the prowess and charm to refurbish your perception of life altogether. Even if you cannot read the book for some reason, make sure you incorporate the above key takeaways into your life. By starting your day at 5 am, you can rediscover your lost soul and enthusiasm, and you would not have complaints to make about the lack of time. If you can own your mornings, you can go places on the ladder of success, for excuses are only for those who are not committed to their goals.

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