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How To Influence People Through Not Giving A F#@&

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We all want to be cookie cutter good citizens that pay our tax’s, get married young, have two perfect kids, drive a perfect car, say the right thing at the right time, be able to make people laugh, and make lots of money so we can buy useless crap that we don’t need.

This dream is a joke and all of you reading this know it. My eyes have been opened recently as to how you can break out of the mold and be you. The gentlemen I have to thank for this is the well-known blogger Mark Manson.

Frankly I had never heard of Charles Manson’s brother until a few weeks ago, but despite his family’s bad name, I was willing to listen to what the guy had to say (he’s not Charles Manson’s brother by the way I’m only trying to liven things up a bit with some drama).

Now the guys’ got a potty mouth like you’ve never heard before and that’s partly why this article has the F-word in its title which is very unlike me. I guess I wanted to try out this not giving a F thing for myself, and I have to admit, the guy’s got me hooked just a little bit.

Usually, I would talk about why Mark Manson is the greatest thing since sliced bread but today I’m not going to bother doing that. What I am going to do is highlight how is attitude and the way he communicates is influencing millions of people to learn from him how they can succeed.

So today’s lesson is all about the 6 ways you can influence people through not giving a F#@& like Mark Manson:

1. Break out of your shell

What Mark does so well is speak his mind and be real. The internet has become flooded with written articles and video’s that all look the same. The language is polished, the grammar is impeccable, the photos are amazing, etc.

Mark sticks his middle finger up at all of that and posts imperfect photos, writes sentences that are so bloody long there is no way they can be grammatically correct, speaks his mind and raises controversial topics, talks about himself in the third person, and a host of obnoxious antics.

He doesn’t do all of this because he’s a horrible person; he does it because he is trying to influence people to change their life, and change requires a different approach. By breaking out of his shell and going against the grain, he is speaking a language that under 35’s understand and that’s important to note.

For you to duplicate his results, you need to do the same and break open the turtle shell that’s been stuck to your back since you were a kid and your mommy strapped it onto you. Show the world who you are and speak in a voice that’s comfortable. That’s how you will inspire people.

2. Be confident

As I read more and more of Mark’s work, I began to see his confidence shine through.

“I’ve realised that you are never going to inspire or motivate someone to change their life unless you truly believe that you’re the person to make them change”

If the next president of the United States Of America got up and said: “I think I can protect you all and make this country prosper, but I’m just not sure because you know, I haven’t done this before, and it’s kind of like my first time – you know?”

Would you vote for this person? Absolutely no way in the world and neither would I. What I’ve learned from Mark is that confidence, without ego, plus vulnerability, is a cake that is worth baking if you want to inspire people.

Confidence is where it all starts and that can only come from you believing that you have something worth sharing. Mark gives dating advice on his blog and to be honest; it could be easy to wonder how he has any skills in this area what so ever.

It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. He believes that there is an audience for his advice (and there is), and so he delivers as much value as he can, in a confident writing tone, in the hope that he can genuinely help others. What’s wrong with that?

Nothing at all, as long as the intent comes from the art of giving and not out of some form of selfishness to win the popularity contest that is social media.

3. Take action when you have no idea

The whole point of not giving an F is to take action despite of the fear and uncertainty you might have. Mark has these same feelings, and so do I, and so do you; the difference between those that influence and those that do not, is that the influencers take action.

What I mean by this is that Mark has consistently written the best blog posts he can for the last five years. He’s the first to admit that quitting his job and going out on his own was probably a bold move. But, he used his own advice and didn’t give a F.

What we can all learn from this approach is that we don’t need to know what the road to success looks like. The path is uneven, filled with dog poo, it has giant trucks heading right for you that shouldn’t even be on the path, there are snakes hiding in the bush’s as you walk, and there is so much bloody fog that you can only see a few meters ahead of you.

That’s what the path to success looks like boys and girls. All we need to do, and what Mark demonstrates through his work, is that we just need to start walking on the path, and adjust our approach as the obstacles come out of nowhere and nearly blow our eyes out of our sockets.

Forget trying to wait until everything is right and stop giving a F. Start something, anything, and then pivot as you need to like any Uber-like startup would. This way of being is what inspires people to do the same.

“When people can see that you are just as blind, deaf, dumb, and imperfect as them, they start to rally around you and seek your advice so they can be inspired” – Tim Denning

4. Be okay with your individuality

I’m the first to admit that I’m a bit quirky. I mean, what’s not to love; I eat mostly veggies, watch 100% documentaries about success and motivational topics, sip caffeine free tea, wear clothes that stand out, attend events that may look like a cult, and I try to always have a big, stupid smile on my face.

Compared to the rest of the world I probably look like some self-help guru obsessed, vegan loving, Side Show Bob dressing, overly positive, psychopath dressed in a slim-fitting, overpriced suit.

Guess what? That’s probably who I mostly am, and that’s okay. Just like it’s okay that you are who you are. Mark teaches us through his blogging that the more individual we are, the more people will respond to our message.

By being you and revealing all of your faults, you become relatable and someone that people admire. You cannot inspire anyone unless you find out who you are and be okay with sharing the whole package – scratches, damage and all.

5. Don’t take life too seriously

Especially in the world of personal development, it’s easy to become obsessed with a life that is way too serious. A life where you have to be up early every single day, work until you pass out, and be constantly growing at 300% every day.

This is not true personal development, and Mark shows us why we need to not take life too seriously. Yes, you need to be focused and know what your goals are, but there is no way you can be awesome 24/7.

What I love about Mark’s work is that he makes me laugh and below all of his humor is a genuine message to try and get you to look at life differently. When you change the lens that you are using to view the world, you start to see things that you haven’t seen before.

All of the public speaking books I have read say that adding humor to what you do will help to solidify your message and get people to pay attention. This doesn’t mean that you need to become the Jim Carey of coming up with jokes; it just means that you should attempt to see the humor in things. Most of all, you should attempt to see the humor in yourself once in a while.

6. Lose the fixed mindset and learn to be wrong

Through all of the blog posts I have read of Mark’s, I’ve noticed that he changes his opinion or interpretation of events frequently. This is because rather than having a fixed mindset, he has a growth mindset.

With a growth mindset, we can learn to adapt and understand that no idea stays true forever. The Earth and our success are changing every single day. To inspire people you need to be constantly changing what you can teach and having new messages to spread.

Otherwise, you become washed up, out of date, and irrelevant. People that think they know everything really piss me off, and I’m sure they do the same to you. That’s why sometimes I have to take a chill pill, take my own advice, and not take everything so seriously.

A lot of what personal development teaches us is that we can’t inspire others unless we change ourselves first. The only way we can change ourselves is by becoming open to everything that we come into contact with.

There are so many old models of the world that people continue to live by for no good reason. Mark regularly pokes fun at these models in his work and encourages people to learn to be wrong. It’s okay if you always thought that diet soda was healthy and then you figured out it wasn’t.

Don’t forget, I’m the guy that drank too much, went to too many nightclubs, and ate the highest sugar foods known to humankind. It’s okay to be wrong ladies and gentlemen. We’re never going to be right 100% of the time, and if we were, then I’d give you a Nobel Prize, and tell you to retire (not going to happen by the way).

It’s time we get over our ego and ourselves and adopt a growth mindset. We can do anything we put our minds to and nothing is impossible.

How are you going to change you and influence the world? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook. 

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Ajay

    Jan 9, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    Good one! Makes sense….

  2. Toño

    Sep 7, 2016 at 3:03 am

    Hey Tim, that was fantastic, even better, it was fan-bloody-tastic and thoroughly enjoyable read, my friend! My apology for not showing off for a long time, but I just really have to for this one! I got a physical satisfaction if I can say that, by reading this so that was my very first thought in the morning to reply to you haha! Thank you so much for that man 🙂

    I also liked the style you spoke in this one, that free language, using an F-word here and there and how you described yourself, as ‘self-help guru obsessed, vegan loving, Side Show Bob dressing, overly positive, psychopath dressed in a slim-fitting, overpriced suit.’ Haha, I LOVED that! I laughed my bum off reading that out loud to my co-workers 😀

    This article gives me strength, confidence and belief, to be honest, I felt so free and easy, like there are no issue whatsoever and frankly, who gives an F if it’s different? All points you provided are the top ones and I cannot even choose what is more important, they all are! And this quote of yours: “When people can see that you are just as blind, deaf, dumb, and imperfect as them, they start to rally around you and seek your advice so they can be inspired” touched me deep. Gotta post it on my status page on the forum I moderate so everyone can see that. Very well said!

    I even liked the spiderman picture even though I dislike him in general haha!

    Much appreciation for this article Tim, I am very grateful for that, deep and immersive read that was! I already checked that Mark Manson guy and yeah, he definitely doesn’t give many F for sure haha. I will check more of his articles, and I think I may even order his book when it will become available in Europe. Thank you very much, Tim, much love to you!

    Oh, and just a quick question, out of curiosity of course. What’s the obsession with smoking gentlemen pictures? I know you are not a smoker, yet you post them here and there some of the time? Are those the idea of a kinda bad guy image for you?

    • Tim Denning

      Sep 27, 2016 at 5:17 am

      Toño I’m glad you liked it – it was fun to write too! I’m glad you also saw the humor in what I was trying to say and its good to poke fun at yourself once in a while. The smoking picture was more about the attitude it made me fell and not the action of smoking. I personally hate smoking and don’t advocate it. Hope that makes sense.

  3. Mark Eaves

    Sep 6, 2016 at 3:56 am

    Loved it. I need to stop giving a F#@& it seems!

  4. Thea Dunlap

    Sep 6, 2016 at 2:03 am

    Now this is an article that I really need. Thanks for sharing this, it totally made my day 🙂

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Success Advice

How YOU Can Create a Powerful 10 Year Life Vision

Ashley Hann

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Where do you desire to be 10 years from now? Joel Brown, founder of the well-known website and podcast Addicted2Success, breaks down exactly how to gain clarity in your life and create a powerful 10-year life vision. The vision process that Joel teaches has transformed the lives of hundreds and thousands of people who use it.

You can listen to the full podcast interview here with Joel Brown or head over to my website AshleyHann.com for more inspirational podcast episodes.

Joel Brown is the real deal. He travels the world coaching thousands and thousands of people to stand in their vision so they can turn their dreams into a reality. He has been featured in the Think and Grow Rich movie, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Inc., The Huffington Post, Success Magazine and more. He has sat down with well-known thought leaders such as Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Jay Shetty, Gary Vaynerchuk, Grant Cardone, John Assaraf and the list goes on.

This is a MUST LISTEN episode all about gaining clarity, creating harmony in your life and creating a powerful 10-year vision so that you can live the life you’ve always wanted.

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

Joel breaks it down for you step by step. In this episode, we go over:

  • The 3 key questions you must ask yourself in order to live a fulfilled life and master your 10-year vision
  • How to define success for yourself and discover what you really want
  • The 8 areas of life to include in your 10-year vision
  • The top, prevalent patterns successful people share and why you should adopt them too
  • The 3 main limiting beliefs and bullsh*t stories that hold people back from achieving their dreams and goals
  • Why dropping perfectionism is so important and what to do instead
  • …and so much more!

If you’re more of a visual person then you can watch my video interview with Joel Brown here:

This is an episode you won’t want to miss. Joel Brown is the 10-year vision expert and teaches his vision process all over the globe to thousands and thousands of people. You’ll want to make sure to grab a pen and paper so you can take notes and action on the strategies he shares with you.

You can connect with Joel Brown @iamjoelbrown on Instagram and Twitter.  Make sure you also check out his popular motivation account @addicted2success on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.

You can listen to the full episode on SoundCloud,Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

OR you can watch it on my YouTube Channel:

RESOURCES:

His event: www.elevatetribe.net

The #1 motivation website he built from scratch: www.addicted2success.com

His Circle of Influence online mastermind: www.iamjoelbrown.com/applynow

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Success Advice

5 Ways You Can Utilize Information Properly and Think More Efficiently

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how to think more efficiently
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The mind is a complex system of facets, of which some have yet to be discovered. Still, in spite of all this, there has been enough information to help us gain a rudimentary understanding of it. Thinking is what we all do, although what differs is the efficiency and levels at which we do it.

A lot of things influence the way you think, and most of these factors vary from person to person. However, there are some foundations and basic laws that can help you move from just filtering information and utilizing it to think efficiently.

Below are a few ways you can utilize information properly and think more efficiently:

1. Be quiet and listen

We’re constantly bombarded with information, and the nature of this information determines how we respond. Are you the type of person who doesn’t handle bad or even good news well? If so, learn to take a step back, evaluate things, and look for the way forward. It’s something that stock market traders do all the time, and it works like a charm with practice.

2. Never neglect what your emotions tell you

While a lot of people might not know this, it is true that the conscious thoughts we have only represent a small fraction of the events going on in our heads. At any given point in time, you have the unconscious aspect taking in massive amounts of information, most of which we don’t even know are being processed.

Your brain makes conclusions, good or bad, and starts to generate feelings that rule our emotions in the long-run. So, whenever you have a subtle feeling that points you to a certain course of action or thought, don’t ignore it. At the end of the day, that feeling gets its way somehow, and it’s better you come face-to-face with it and understand its nudges better.

“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.” – Bohdi Sanders

3. Never think while under pressure

Pressure can be good, but a lot of the time, it tends to yield counter-productive results. Regardless of what you’re doing, there are times when you feel pressure. What this pressure does is force you to rely less on the part of your unconsciousness that functions like a trained autopilot system (from all of the training and experiences that you’ve had in the past). Essentially, it forces you to overthink things.

You begin to analyze every aspect of what you’re doing, and you end up using parts of your brain that have no business with the specific activity. So, whenever you take the time out to develop a certain skill, make sure you learn to have faith in your instincts as well.

4. Never focus on one viewpoint

Bluffing is something that professional poker players do almost every time. It’s become an art. However, instead of just bluffing on a whim (which also works at times, by the way), most of them employ a simple trick while playing; they think about how the opposing players would act if they weren’t actually bluffing.

In most cases, the brain tends to search the world for filters in order to confirm the beliefs that it holds. However, the problem with this is that it tends to limit you. At the end of the day, you could be dealing with facts that are just not wrong.

“What’s true of the poker game is true of life. Most people are suckers and don’t realise it.” – Michael Faust

5. What do you love doing?

According to studies, a lot of people tend to have moments of insight and solutions to problems when they’re not even aware of the fact that the problem is being analyzed by the brain. These are usually moments when you take a stroll, listen to your favorite track, brew your favorite coffee, take showers, and read blogs; when you feel relaxed and comfortable.

This is because insightful thoughts are usually generated by an influx of neural activities that occur in the right hemisphere of the brain. The best time to plug into the mind is when you’re stress-free, so make sure that you engage in activities that relax you more often.

How do you go about maneuvering around and making decisions in a world constantly bombarding you with information? Let us know your thoughts and advice below!

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Success Advice

10 Simple Yet Effective Ways to Bring Out the Successful YouTuber in You

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YouTube is a social media platform that has turned many a normal person into a celebrity. With over 1.9 billion logged-in users visiting YouTube every month, it is a hugely popular platform that is being actively used by people who are leveraging its reach and popularity for reputation building, increasing visibility, creating and driving brand reach and last but not the least, earning money.

We keep hearing success stories of YouTube influencers who were nobodies when they started out and today run some of the most popular channels on YouTube and are considered reputed influencers in their niche.

There is absolutely no doubt that if done right, a presence on YouTube can be a massive boost for your brand (if you are a business) and ensure visibility of stratospheric proportions (if you are an individual).

But, at the end of it all, most people want to get onboard YouTube for the money. If your channel is popular enough, it can be a regular source of income for you. So, how do you become a successful YouTuber and establish a popular YouTube channel?

Here are ten great tips to help you on your way:

1. Identify your YouTube Goals

What do you want to achieve out of YouTube? Straight off the block, this is the question you must answer. YouTube can help build your brand, both business and personal, if that’s your goal. It will help improve your reputation and differentiate yourself from the competition. It could also become a revenue generation medium for you.

There are many reasons you might want to start a YouTube channel, and you need to zero in on the right one. Identifying your core goal or set of goals will help you plan your YouTube journey effectively.

2. Identify the Right Niche for Your Channel

Making videos is a resource-intensive activity. It also needs a rare degree of passion to make videos because you are going to put a truckload of effort into it. So, make sure to zero in on the right niche for your channel, meaning the kind of video content you are going to post. If you are an individual, the content must align with your interest, preferences, skill sets and knowledge.

If you are a business, it must align with your business’s services or domain. Think very carefully whether you will be able to keep making videos about a specific topic, subject or domain regularly. This will help you choose the right ‘content type’ for your channel.

3. Trust Yourself

There are some YouTubers who give up because they think they are not cut out to be successful YouTubers. There is absolutely no doubt, you will be wracked by self-doubt when you start, especially if your videos aren’t finding enough traction. The key here is to have confidence in your ability and pursuing your end goal indefatigably.

Don’t give up because of setbacks; some of the top YouTubers started off slowly and built their audience steadily. When it comes to YouTube, it is important to understand that success won’t come easily or quickly.

4. Be Prepared for Criticism

As a YouTuber, you have the ability to showcase your knowledge and skillsets to the world, but this also sets you up for criticism. There are people who are going to like your videos and there are those who won’t and will go a step further and criticize it through the comments section.

And very often, this criticism isn’t constructive and its only aim is to make fun of you and your video. Can you handle this criticism? You must if you want to be a successful YouTuber. Try developing a thick skin and don’t allow even the most virulent criticism to affect you.

5. Respond to Comments

Make it a habit to respond to comments, irrespective of whether these appreciate or criticize your video. Your response tells your viewer that you care and are prepared to listen to their views. This helps you build a relationship with your viewers who can then turn into channel subscribers. Don’t think YouTube videos are one-way traffic wherein you make a video, a viewer sees it and forgets about it. A video is a means of driving interaction and engagement.

6. Follow other YouTubers

You might have some great content ideas for your channel, but you must also keep track of what other YouTubers are doing. There is always a chance that you will get some inspiration from their videos as to how to make a video more interesting, get the lowdown on audience engagement tactics and find technical aspects as well including camera work, audio etc.

7. Attend Meetups

There are plenty of YouTube meetups, conventions and conferences happening all over the world; it is imperative that you attend YouTube events happening in your region. This way you will be able to meet fellow YouTubers in the region, and who knows, you might also meet YouTubers, you follow and want to emulate. If you get the opportunity to discuss notes or get tips, do so. This will help refine your channel content

8. Keep Measuring Your Performance

Start measuring your YouTube performance from the word go. You need to keep track of various performance metrics to know how well you have done. A metric like ‘views’ is super important but so is ‘watch time’. ouTube judges the performance of your channel on various metrics and uses these to rank your videos in search results. There are plenty of tools that can help you track and measure YouTube performance based on various parameters.

9. Don’t Judge Yourself Too Harshly

Don’t set impossible standards for yourself. You are going to make mistakes and learn from them. No video is perfect and don’t think you can start making amazingly successful videos from day one. So, judge yourself, but don’t go overboard. Don’t compare your work with people who have many years of YouTube experience behind them; this would be counterproductive and play havoc with your confidence levels.

10. Keep at It

If you want to bring out the successful YouTuber in you, you must keep at it. Plan a video publishing schedule and stick to it, irrespective of whether your videos are doing well or not. Remember, once you set cadence, you will get better at your videos, and this will drive more engagement.

A successful YouTuber is no different from a successful person. You need to work hard, learn from mistakes, and more importantly learn from others. And you must make use of all this learning to create better and more more engaging videos.

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Success Advice

Why You Should Prefer Emails to Phone Calls if You Want to Be More Productive

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“Email” and “productivity” rarely go together in a sentence. Emails have been declared as one of our largest time wasters. A McKinsey report stated that people spend around 2.6 hours each day responding to emails. That’s 13 hours a week, 52 hours a month and over 60 days a year! Imagine what you could’ve achieved in 60 days!

Emails also negatively affect our cognitive resources. When we think of responding to them while doing other important tasks, it takes up to 23 minutes and 15 seconds after being disrupted to return to full attention to a current task. Imagine how much our cognition and productivity gets fractured when we get distracted over and over again.

Constant emailing also drains us mentally. And at the end of a day, we realize that we’ve achieved nothing worth mentioning. With a phone call, you can sort issues and solve problems quickly, right? In theory, you’re right. But we live in a practical world where many variables come into play.

Below are three variables that make phone calls adversely affect our productivity, and why emails are a better alternative:

1. Wasting Time

Most “five-minute conversations” can quickly turn into 35-minute calls because people ramble about irrelevant aspects. This derailment, several times a day, severely limits the limited time and energy you have for important tasks.

Emails, on the other hand, force writers to streamline their thoughts and stick to the point. Emails can save you plenty of time and energy because you avoid lengthy phone calls. The constant strife to keep your own emails short and crisp also makes you a clearer thinker, which rewards you in other aspects of your life.

“It’s better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money.” – Hal Sparks

2. Inaccurate Responses

An unexpected phone call can catch me caught off guard on a topic. I might respond emotionally or give an answer that doesn’t do justice to what I want to share. In a world dominated by panic buttons and fire-fighting, these don’t just stress me out but the caller as well.

Emails give me flexibility to prepare a coherent response and share it when I’m satisfied. If I feel a surge of emotion, I can sleep over the thought and share a better (more rational) response the next day. Many page-long email responses to emails that upset me have turned into a simple “thank you for your email” the next day.

3. Constant Back-and-Forth

Phone calls often are ineffective to solve business problems. Accounting for multiple people, their views, their timelines… One phone call can quickly turn into three.

Emails are quicker and more effective than even conference calls. They let you communicate with multiple people at the same time. You can share information, assign tasks and give status updates while being as specific as possible.

You must be wondering, “What about back-and-forth emails then? Why do we waste precious time on them?” Yes, email has earned a bad rap. But it’s not because of the medium; it’s because we handle it ineffectively.

A Better Approach to Emailing

For most people, constantly refreshing the inbox is part of the daily to-do list. It keeps them busy and gives them a kick of dopamine – the feel-good chemical.

Ironically, this quest to remain busy makes people compromise on taking action that can move them forward. Using emails prudently, rewards you with plenty of energy and mind space to focus on tasks that truly matter.

Here are three steps that benefited me without succumbing to the side effects of email:

1. Checking Them Less

I check emails just 3 times a day – at 9:30 AM, 12:00 PM, and 4:30 PM. If you don’t have the luxury to do the same, you can start by checking your emails for ten minutes at the end of each hour. Most senders expect a response in a little over an hour. So they won’t mind a slightly delayed response. This gives you 45 undisturbed minutes each hour to work on your core tasks.

2. Responding Quickly

People delay responding to emails at least 37% of the time, which turns finding emails and responding to them into additional tasks that cost time and lead to attention residue. Most emails take under two minutes to respond. When you can respond to an email, do so instead of putting it off. This won’t just put your mind at peace, it’ll also reduce the number of “did-you-see-this” follow-up emails in your inbox.

“I do love email. Wherever possible I try to communicate asynchronously. I’m really good at email.” – Elon Musk

3. The If-Then Technique

The If-Then technique helps you address multiple scenarios at once. For instance, an email that says, “Can we meet at 3:00 PM?” becomes, “Can we meet at 3:00 PM? If not, please advise three other times that work for you.”

This technique is also effective when you want to suggest ideas or provide instructions on alternative steps. For example, “Here’s Plan A. If it doesn’t work, connect with [name] and ask for [specific information]. If you don’t get what you need, inform me.”

I’ll admit. This sounds like more work in the current moment, but it drastically cuts down the number of trail mails, confused correspondences, and fire-fighting instances that occur due to miscommunication.

The If-Then formula is the single most effective technique I’ve learned from The 4-Hour Workweek. All of this doesn’t mean that you abandon phone calls, In fact, it’s better to use the phone for sensitive topics or if an email conversation gets dragged. But remain mindful to not let phone calls waste your time.

If you want to pursue a meaningful life, place a premium on your time. Do things that create time for you to pursue meaningful actions and avoid doing what pulls you away from them. In the knowledge economy, this is the key to success.

Do you prefer email or talking on the phone? Share your thoughts below!

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