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How to Deal With the Fears That Hold You Back From Happiness



how to deal with your fears
Image Credit: Unsplash

Fear is an emotion that most of us experience in this lifetime. However, some of us live in a more heightened state of fear, and sometimes it can rule our lives. Of course, I’m not talking about instinctive fear that our organism provides in dangerous situations. In this case, it serves for our protection. 

The fear I speak of would be one in which it rules your life and makes happiness tough to achieve. But how do you deal and eventually overcome this heightened state of fear that rules your life?

Dealing with your fear is by far an easy process, and it requires an open mind and a specific strength of character. But it is not an impossible mission – it’s mostly about your perspective and changing your belief system. 

Therefore, in today’s post, we’re presenting how to deal with the fears that hold you back from happiness.

1. Accept and Observe Your Fear

Fear is an unpleasant emotion which we wish never to feel if possible, yet sometimes we do, and sometimes it can even rule our life. But that’s ok. 

Life isn’t perfect. It’s a beautiful experience that comes with both positive and negative experiences. The positive ones are here to enjoy life at its fullest and the negative ones to learn as much as we possibly can.

Therefore, instead of denying your fear or letting it take the best of you, accept it for what it is – a simple part of your life, not your enemy. First, allow yourself to feel afraid – denying it won’t extinguish its existence. Accept that you are feeling fearful. Next, take your time and whenever you notice that you are afraid of something, observe the processes your mind is going through.

2. Understand Why You’re Experiencing this Emotion

If you started to accept and observe your fear, you’d have to try your best to understand the root of your fear. I am aware that dealing with your fears isn’t an easy or pleasant process, but understanding your fears is a crucial aspect of overcoming them and assuring that they will never trouble you again.

Therefore, be patient with yourself, and while you observe your behavior and your thoughts while you’re afraid, try to understand something out of it. Perhaps it will be easier to keep a journal to keep track of your emotions, thoughts, and progress. Through journaling, you’ll be able to notice some patterns if you’re consistent.

“In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself.” – Susan Sontag

3. Try to Be in Control of Your Fear Not the Other Way Around

Fear has the power to take control of your life. When you live in fear, all the decisions you’ll make will be fear-based. In other words, fear chains your freedom. But how do you control fear? I don’t believe that there is a practical method to control the fear that will work 100% for everyone who tries it. But some techniques will come in extremely handy.

I like to say it’s not an emotion but rather a state of mind. Based on this premise, to control your fear means to change your mindset and belief system. For example, fearful people believe they are weak, or they tend to have this perspective of themselves of not being good enough. But if you start thinking that you are stronger than that and keep acting accordingly, you will eventually become stronger, and fear won’t stand a chance against you.

4. Perceive Fear From Another Point of View

Fear can help you and tear you apart, depending on your point of view. Generally speaking, fear is considered something you should hide from other people so they won’t pity you – as if it is wrong to feel afraid.

Well, it is not wrong to feel afraid. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel like – we are not living in a bubble where everything is perfect. Fear is part of our life, and you can decide how you welcome it in your life.

Will you let the fear you’re experiencing to tear your life apart or will you take it as a challenge to help you become a stronger and wiser person? 

5. Fear Is a Learned Behavior

One crucial aspect you should know regarding fear is that it is a learned behavior. We aren’t born afraid. Most of us grow up having our parent’s fears because when we’re young, we copy our parent’s behavior – without being able to decide for ourselves if it’s a good thing to learn or not.

For instance, the fear of dogs is born from one or more bad experiences we had with an aggressive dog. It happened because we associate dogs with pain, and, naturally, our body wants to avoid pain. Therefore, the way you were able to learn to be afraid of certain aspects, you are perfectly able to unlearn them and overcome your fears.

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela


Living in fear is not how we should experience our existence on this beautiful planet. We are powerful creatures who come across difficult situations throughout their lifetime. How you manage to overcome every obstacle and learn from that experience is you’ll evolve and become a stronger version of yourself.

Fear is a powerful emotion, so a person who manages to overcome his fears, with or without professional help, will become stronger than he could ever imagine. For that reason, take fear as a friend who comes to help you become a better and stronger version of yourself.

How do you use fear to your advantage and not let it paralyze you? Share your thoughts and ideas with us below!

Tobias Foster is a highly skilled freelance journalist and proofreader for dissertation writing services having more than five years of work experience. Tobias enjoys mostly writing about topics such as philosophy, business, and marketing.

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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator



Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.


2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.


3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.


4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.


5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.


6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.


7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.


8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.


9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.


10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.


11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.


12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.


13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.


14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.


15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.


16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.


17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.


18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.


19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.


20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.


By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at so you can master your life with more success.

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way



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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy



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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds



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