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How to Deal With the Fears That Hold You Back From Happiness

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how to deal with your fears
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Fear is an emotion that most of us experience in this lifetime. However, some of us live in a more heightened state of fear, and sometimes it can rule our lives. Of course, I’m not talking about instinctive fear that our organism provides in dangerous situations. In this case, it serves for our protection. 

The fear I speak of would be one in which it rules your life and makes happiness tough to achieve. But how do you deal and eventually overcome this heightened state of fear that rules your life?

Dealing with your fear is by far an easy process, and it requires an open mind and a specific strength of character. But it is not an impossible mission – it’s mostly about your perspective and changing your belief system. 

Therefore, in today’s post, we’re presenting how to deal with the fears that hold you back from happiness.

1. Accept and Observe Your Fear

Fear is an unpleasant emotion which we wish never to feel if possible, yet sometimes we do, and sometimes it can even rule our life. But that’s ok. 

Life isn’t perfect. It’s a beautiful experience that comes with both positive and negative experiences. The positive ones are here to enjoy life at its fullest and the negative ones to learn as much as we possibly can.

Therefore, instead of denying your fear or letting it take the best of you, accept it for what it is – a simple part of your life, not your enemy. First, allow yourself to feel afraid – denying it won’t extinguish its existence. Accept that you are feeling fearful. Next, take your time and whenever you notice that you are afraid of something, observe the processes your mind is going through.

2. Understand Why You’re Experiencing this Emotion

If you started to accept and observe your fear, you’d have to try your best to understand the root of your fear. I am aware that dealing with your fears isn’t an easy or pleasant process, but understanding your fears is a crucial aspect of overcoming them and assuring that they will never trouble you again.

Therefore, be patient with yourself, and while you observe your behavior and your thoughts while you’re afraid, try to understand something out of it. Perhaps it will be easier to keep a journal to keep track of your emotions, thoughts, and progress. Through journaling, you’ll be able to notice some patterns if you’re consistent.

“In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself.” – Susan Sontag

3. Try to Be in Control of Your Fear Not the Other Way Around

Fear has the power to take control of your life. When you live in fear, all the decisions you’ll make will be fear-based. In other words, fear chains your freedom. But how do you control fear? I don’t believe that there is a practical method to control the fear that will work 100% for everyone who tries it. But some techniques will come in extremely handy.

I like to say it’s not an emotion but rather a state of mind. Based on this premise, to control your fear means to change your mindset and belief system. For example, fearful people believe they are weak, or they tend to have this perspective of themselves of not being good enough. But if you start thinking that you are stronger than that and keep acting accordingly, you will eventually become stronger, and fear won’t stand a chance against you.

4. Perceive Fear From Another Point of View

Fear can help you and tear you apart, depending on your point of view. Generally speaking, fear is considered something you should hide from other people so they won’t pity you – as if it is wrong to feel afraid.

Well, it is not wrong to feel afraid. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel like – we are not living in a bubble where everything is perfect. Fear is part of our life, and you can decide how you welcome it in your life.

Will you let the fear you’re experiencing to tear your life apart or will you take it as a challenge to help you become a stronger and wiser person? 

5. Fear Is a Learned Behavior

One crucial aspect you should know regarding fear is that it is a learned behavior. We aren’t born afraid. Most of us grow up having our parent’s fears because when we’re young, we copy our parent’s behavior – without being able to decide for ourselves if it’s a good thing to learn or not.

For instance, the fear of dogs is born from one or more bad experiences we had with an aggressive dog. It happened because we associate dogs with pain, and, naturally, our body wants to avoid pain. Therefore, the way you were able to learn to be afraid of certain aspects, you are perfectly able to unlearn them and overcome your fears.

“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

Conclusion

Living in fear is not how we should experience our existence on this beautiful planet. We are powerful creatures who come across difficult situations throughout their lifetime. How you manage to overcome every obstacle and learn from that experience is you’ll evolve and become a stronger version of yourself.

Fear is a powerful emotion, so a person who manages to overcome his fears, with or without professional help, will become stronger than he could ever imagine. For that reason, take fear as a friend who comes to help you become a better and stronger version of yourself.

How do you use fear to your advantage and not let it paralyze you? Share your thoughts and ideas with us below!

Tobias Foster is a highly skilled freelance journalist and proofreader for dissertation writing services having more than five years of work experience. Tobias enjoys mostly writing about topics such as philosophy, business, and marketing.

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Success Advice

Mindful Productivity: How Top Achievers Combine Focus and Balance

By being aware of your emotions, thoughts, and surroundings, you can work with your internal and external environments

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Your big-dream goals matter … but not at the expense of your health. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Art of Convincing: 10 Persuasion Techniques That Really Work

The knack for persuading others can act as a catalyst for change, open doors, forge alliances, and effect positive change

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Persuasion is not as complicated as it may sound. In fact, it is something that we have been practicing since childhood. Do you remember convincing your parents to let you skip school, asking your teacher not to assign homework, or persuading your boss to give you a day off? Well, these are just small examples of what persuasion looks like. (more…)

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5 Steps to Leveraging Industry Speaker Events for Career Advancement

Jumping into industry events is a smart move for your career, but there’s a knack to it

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How to advance your career by networking

Jumping into industry events is a smart move for your career, but there’s a knack to it. It’s not just about sitting in a room full of people. You’ve got to find the ones that fit your career puzzle, dive in while you’re there, and then make the most of what you’ve learned afterward. (more…)

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Overcoming Plateaus: 6 Powerful Strategies for Breakthrough Success

A plateau is not a full stop; it’s a comma that allows you to pause, reflect, and shift gears

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In the pursuit of personal and professional growth, plateaus are inevitable. They appear when progress seems to halt, despite your continuous efforts. But remember, a plateau is not a full stop; it’s a comma that allows you to pause, reflect, and shift gears. This article provides six powerful strategies to overcome plateaus and achieve breakthrough success.

1. Find Out the Root Cause

When facing a plateau, there is likely something causing you to sabotage your progress. Identify the root cause. What is sabotaging your progress? Examine your daily routine and how you spend your time. Are you wasting time on unnecessary activities? Or are you taking on too many tasks that you can’t handle?

Often, adding more tasks overloads your already tight routine and distracts you from focusing on the most important tasks. Therefore, often eliminating unnecessary activity will work to overcome plateaus. However, be cautious of not doing things right, such as tasks you have not yet undertaken or missing something. What actions do you need to take or improve to achieve your goal? Are you avoiding them, or have you not started yet?

2. Never Tolerate Problems

Once you’ve identified the root cause, never tolerate problems. If you tolerate them, you’ll end up staying stuck. You get what you tolerate. Once you recognize the problem you’re facing, never tolerate it. Instead, address and improve the situation.

3. Focus on a 100% Solution and 0% Problems

To overcome a challenge, it’s essential to plan how to get through it. Yet, people often find themselves asking, ‘Why is it bad?’ or ‘What is wrong with it?’ Questions of this nature limit our thinking, leading our brains to generate responses like ‘Because you’re not good enough’ or ‘Everything is wrong with you.’ These limited answers tend to resonate with the situation and drag you down further.

Instead, ask empowering questions without limits, such as ‘What is not perfect yet, and how can I turn things around while making a more positive impact?’ By asking unlimited empowering questions, you’ll shift your focus from the problem to the solution. Additionally, you will also notice that asking empowering questions can expand available options and allow you to see from an angle you couldn’t see before.

Focusing on problems rarely yields positive outcomes. The key to positive results lies in concentrating on the solution. The next time you face adversity and notice getting caught by unresourceful thoughts, snap out of it and direct your focus to a 100% solution and 0% problems.

“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” – Henry Ford

4. Cultivate Success-Driven Traits

Identify the traits you need to have and get rid of to become the person you aspire to be. Consider your specific goals – for instance, attracting positive relationships. To achieve this, note down the traits you need to embrace, such as being open-minded, gentle, healthy, and treating others the way you want to be treated.

Cultivate a positive mindset. Simultaneously, get rid of traits like criticizing others, having a short temper, and engaging in unhealthy habits like taking drugs.

Learn from individuals who have achieved similar goals. Study their traits, both the ones they have and those they’ve consciously avoided. Implement these traits to align with the person you want to become.

Once you have your lists of traits to embrace and eliminate, diligently follow them. Place the list on your desk or the door of your room, ensuring you read it at least once a day to reinforce your commitment to these traits.

5. Track Your Habits

Carry a notepad to track your habits throughout the day, especially those contributing to plateaus, as well as your new habits or traits aligned with achieving your goals. For instance, if your root cause is excessive internet use, record instances of mindless scrolling on social media. Note when you engage, the emotional state prompting it, and the approximate duration.

Calculate the total minutes wasted at the end of the day. This habit tracking makes you aware of the emotions triggering these behaviors (stress, boredom, and frustration) and the time wasted.

Additionally, track positive new habits, like reading good books and exercising. Document what you’ve learned from the book and the time spent exercising. This practice helps you build new positive habits by enabling you to compare today’s results with those from yesterday or a week ago. 

Moreover, consistently sticking to new habits for around 18 months transforms them into lifelong habits. Even if you take breaks, you will find yourself naturally returning to those habits.

6. See Obstacles as Opportunities

Every obstacle can be an opportunity to turn things around. If the economy is in a downturn, it’s time to recognize it as an opportunity to thrive while everyone else is struggling and focused on the problem. If someone makes fun of you or causes you trouble, ask yourself, ‘What can I learn from this experience?’

Alternatively, consider that the person underrating you is setting low expectations, which are easier to exceed. If your business receives a bad review from a customer, see it as free feedback that guides you on how to improve and take your business to the next level.

Always try to see different angles that others may overlook. This perspective can reveal aspects you might be missing. When you view a problem as an opportunity, it has the potential to foster growth.

In the journey toward success, plateaus are just temporary pauses, not dead ends. So, keep moving, keep growing, and make your breakthrough.

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