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Change Your Mindset

How to Acquire Emotional Intelligence and Why It Matters

Blend both IQ and EQ proportionately to achieve leadership effectiveness and success.



Image Credit: Unsplash

Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) can be defined as the process of identifying your emotions and that of others, managing your emotions, motivating your emotions, and aligning the emotions to achieve desired objectives. It involves self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, social awareness, and social skills. 

Emotional intelligence is essential to succeed in your personal, professional, and social life. Most successful leaders are emotionally intelligent. It helps them enhance self-awareness, minimize conflicts and boost fraternity. It helps them fast-track their career. 

Empathy is the key element of emotional intelligence.  Empathy is the ability to step into the shoes of others and see things from their perspective. If you observe leaders, they listen more and speak less to be able to empathize with their followers. If followers display sympathy, leaders demonstrate empathy and that causes a fine difference between the followers and the leaders.

Advantages of Emotional Intelligence 

Emotional intelligence enhances self-awareness. It improves decision-making skills by balancing the head, heart, and gut. It helps build relationships. It equips you with soft skills. It enhances empathy. It helps you acquire total control of yourself and the situation around you under unfavorable circumstances. 

It helps you act, not react to the situations, thus allowing stability under stressful conditions. It eliminates conflicts and minimizes stress. It provides you with peace and happiness. You motivate yourself and others. You can identify what turns you on and off and stay equipped with mindfulness.

Research shows that emotional intelligence accounts for as much as 31% of success in management contexts.  It helps minimize conflicts in the workplace as people learn to empathize with and respect others. It promotes healthy relations among people. 

It helps in getting along with various personality types at the workplace by gauging their feelings, moods, and emotions.  It enhances productivity and performance. Above all, it helps in handling difficult people assertively.

“It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head – it is the unique intersection of both.” — David Caruso

Building Emotional Intelligence 

The executives who reach higher positions must have higher emotional intelligence as handling such a profile needs more people skills and less technical skills. It is essential to take the time to recognize the emotions, feelings, and drives of the people around you. 

We must identify with the causes of people’s feelings to understand them better.  We must learn lessons from time to time to bring out behavioral changes in ourselves and improve our score of emotional quotient. 

It is essential to develop empathetic listening to build EQ. Read about some other steps to building emotional intelligence here. 

  • Empathize with others. Step into the shoes of others and understand and appreciate things from their perspective.  It not only makes things easier for you but also helps you earn respect from others.  You can easily build bridges with others. 
  • Be compassionate towards others. Respect their feelings, egos, and emotions. Look for similarities, not differences.  When you create a common ground with others, you can connect with them easily and quickly. 
  • Respect all cultures, languages, creeds, ethnicities, religions, and nationalities.  It creates a broad mindset resulting in wider acceptance. 
  • Link your intentions with actions as it creates credibility with the people around you.  If you want others to be punctual, be the first one to do that before demanding the same from others. 
  • Always keep anger at bay as it is the worst enemy.  Anger drains valuable energies and creates negative vibes.  When in anger, start counting, either in ascending or descending order, to enable you to forget anger by diverting your mind.  Drinking water and breathing exercises help you cool down when in anger.  When you breathe deeply, more oxygen gets inside your brain and relieves you from anxiety.     
  • Be assertive. Neither aggressiveness nor submissiveness works in this world. What works ultimately is assertiveness which is the art of saying ‘No’ firmly, but politely.
  • Take intrapersonal feedback whenever something goes wrong. You are the best judge of your actions and feelings.  You are true to your conscience.  Intrapersonal feedback helps improve behavior.  
  • Blend your head and heart to make decisions based on logic and analysis. Don’t make impulsive decisions. Your best friend having a bad experience with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is bad. 
  • To be high on EQ, people must know their own selves properly to enable them to lead others effectively.  

Challenges in Learning Leadership 

Why is learning leadership challenging for everyone?  The basic problem for people to succeed as leaders is the lack of EQ, and that comes mostly from experience.  When leaders are equipped with EQ their success rate is higher. 

While teaching leadership, educators inspire the audience with several stories and case studies.  That is one side of the coin.  The other side is for the leaders to practice what has been learned in the classroom.  

It is like learning about swimming.  When one gets into water, one realizes the actual challenge.  Similarly, people must practice leadership through active involvement through the trial and error method.  

However, having theoretical knowledge about leadership aspects and concepts helps minimize mistakes and prepares one to face challenges squarely.  

Is EQ Superior to IQ? 

Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is inborn whereas Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) is a skill that can be acquired.  There are standard tools and techniques to measure IQ but there are no such effective tools to measure EQ as the intentions and actions of human beings cannot be measured easily. 

Additionally, cross-cultural issues complicate measuring EQ. There is no yardstick to measure human emotions accurately. Although there are psychological tests to measure EQ, their accuracy cannot be proved. 

IQ helps in academic achievement while EQ helps in career achievement. IQ is synonymous with knowledge while EQ is synonymous with the application of knowledge. 

When it is viewed analytically, it is the application of knowledge that is more important than the knowledge itself. 

Daniel Goleman observes, “Simply having an IQ of superior range does not in itself guarantee that they will be superior professionals in their respective areas; the IQ suffers from range restriction in many applied organizational settings and thus is even more limited in its ability to predict performance and career success within a given location.” 

Your IQ remains more or less the same irrespective of your age whereas your EQ can improve if you make the correct effort.  Individuals with high EQ can cope with stress and burnout.  

Additionally, high EQ is a sign of satisfaction while low EQ is a sign of dissatisfaction. Therefore, high EQ certainly leads to success in personal, professional, and social life.  Some people equate EQ with soft skills. 

Then we can equate IQ with hard skills. To put it succinctly, soft skills outsmart hard skills. Hence, EQ supersedes IQ.

Final Thoughts 

As the global economy is rapidly reinventing from manufacturing to services sectors, and employees are fast reinventing themselves as knowledge workers, there is an urgent need to focus on the development of the employees. 

One area that is fast catching up is leadership, and it mostly depends on emotional intelligence. Additionally, it calls for some degree of intelligence quotient.  

Hence, it is essential to blend both IQ and EQ proportionately to achieve leadership effectiveness and success.

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’ URL: He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications.

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Change Your Mindset

The Art of Convincing: 10 Persuasion Techniques That Really Work

The knack for persuading others can act as a catalyst for change, open doors, forge alliances, and effect positive change



how to be more persuasive

Persuasion is not as complicated as it may sound. In fact, it is something that we have been practicing since childhood. Do you remember convincing your parents to let you skip school, asking your teacher not to assign homework, or persuading your boss to give you a day off? Well, these are just small examples of what persuasion looks like. (more…)

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Personal Development

5 Key Reasons Why Perfectionist’s Procrastinate



Procrastination Perfectionist Patterns

Hey there! I’m Joel Brown, a procrastination mindset specialist. In my world, it’s all about guiding my students through repatterning exercises to break free from the shackles that prevent them from scaling new heights in life.

Now, you might hear ‘perfectionist’ and think, “Ah, they’re destined for success!” But here’s the real deal: perfectionism is far from a superpower. It’s a sneaky villain in disguise, sapping emotional and physical strength, disrupting sleep, and fueling an endless cycle of rumination—all in the pursuit of getting everything ‘just right.’ This relentless chase is what we call the ‘Obsessive Idealist‘ procrastination type.

If you don’t know which out of. the 6 procrastination types you are then you can take this quick 3 minute procrastination type quiz on my Mindstrong Academy website.

Through my fourteen years of coaching, I’ve identified six procrastination types, but my journey started with a personal revelation—I am an Obsessive Idealist. I’ve been there, constantly toggling between creation and procrastination.

And today, I invite you to explore this path with me. If you’re nodding along, thinking, “That sounds like me; I’m a perfectionist too,” then stick around.

I’m about to shed some light on why you might be stuck in this cycle.


Here’s a perfectionist procrastination type video here of what I’m breaking down in this article for you:

The Obsessive Idealist: Unpacking the Perfectionist’s Paradox

First things first, make sure to take the procrastination quiz: to see where you stand. Now, let’s dive into the world of the Obsessive Idealist. Often labeled as high achievers or perfectionists, the core of their procrastination lies in the mind’s protective pause. It’s a shield against perceived threats, pitfalls of perfectionism, and the constant battle between the now and the future in our minds.

Here’s the paradox: what seems like a strength for high achievers can become a crippling hindrance. Obsessive Idealists are in a constant struggle to avoid failure, aiming for 100% perfection. But let’s face the truth—no one is perfect. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, athlete, or any individual striving for excellence, embracing imperfections and learning from failures are crucial steps.


The Traps of Being an Obsessive Idealist Procrastination Type

Analysis Paralysis: Overthinking every detail to the point of inaction is a common pitfall. It’s like trying to get everything perfect, but in reality, it backfires, stalling your progress.

The Unrealistic Standards Syndrome: Setting impossibly high goals is like chasing a mirage. It’s not just about being competitive; it can lead to unfair self-criticism and unrealistic expectations of others.

The Time Trap: Believing there’s never enough time to complete a task perfectly leads to constant postponement. This selective focus on strengths, while avoiding areas of improvement, limits your true potential.

Avoidance of Criticism: Dodging feedback hinders growth. It’s essential to learn to accept constructive criticism without internalizing it as a reinforcement of the “I’m not good enough” narrative.

The All-or-Nothing Lie: Believing that you must operate at full throttle or not at all is a dangerous misconception. Embracing the middle ground, like delegating tasks and seeking mentorship, is key to balanced success.

Embracing Imperfection: The Path to True Progress


In the MindStrong Academy, where I teach conquering procrastination, we focus on managing these patterns effectively. Currently, we’re offering a 7-day free trial, so don’t miss out on this opportunity to transform your mindset: The Academy is more than just a course; it’s a community where you’ll find support, accountability, and tailored resources like a 31-day planner and visualization audios to realign your focus.


In conclusion, recognizing and managing your tendencies as an Obsessive Idealist is crucial. By addressing the deep-rooted “I’m not good enough” narrative and embracing imperfection, you can shift from a state of constant stress to one of harmonized power.

Remember, movement doesn’t always equate to progress. It’s about finding balance, embracing downtime, and allowing yourself the space to grow and learn.

I encourage you to take the quiz, join the MindStrong Academy, and start your journey towards a more balanced, successful life.

Let’s break free from the chains of perfectionism together!


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Change Your Mindset

Unlocking Success: Subconscious Reprogramming, Mindset, and Transformative Strategies for Improved Wellbeing and Business Performance



brittany victoria

What if I told you that the negative thoughts or self-limiting beliefs that you may have, are not actually yours?

In this article, I will discuss subconscious programming and how it can be reprogrammed in a way that allows you to reach your greatest potential. I will also provide tips on how you can integrate this information as a leader within the workplace.

The subconscious mind is shaped before we begin forming our own conscious thoughts, and these conscious thoughts are influenced by the subconscious mind. This means that even the thoughts that you’re consciously having, are merely an extension of that pre-existing conditioning. 

When something becomes deeply ingrained within your mind through repetition, and there are other supporting thoughts that reinforce it, you will identify this information as your truth. These repeated thoughts become beliefs, and your actions will align to support and validate these beliefs.

The Importance of Observing Your Thoughts

If you continuously tell yourself that you aren’t capable or good enough, how likely are you to put in the effort to challenge this narrative? If you’ve always been a procrastinator and tell yourself that you always will be, you’re going to continue procrastinating. If you run into an obstacle and don’t believe you can overcome it, you’re not going to look for solutions or try your best to resolve it.

It’s extremely important for you to become an observer of your thoughts and understand the impacts of how those thoughts can impact your life, relationships, and overall outlook on life.

Here are some questions to help guide you:

– What are your recurring negative thoughts, and how are they impacting your performance and relationships? 

– How have these thoughts held you back from achieving your goals and living the life that you’ve always dreamed of? 

– What have these thoughts already cost you and what else will they cost you if they don’t change?

Societal conditioning, influenced by a lower level of collective consciousness, has made the experience of debilitating thoughts highly prevalent. It’s not your fault that you have them, but it is your responsibility to change them and choose better ones.

The Subconscious Must Be Reprogrammed 

Reprogramming the subconscious involves positive affirmations, visualization, and consistent repetition to replace negative beliefs with positive ones. You have to become aware of the thoughts that make you feel bad and do not serve your best interest.

What are the growth-oriented thoughts that would you rather have instead? Any time that a debilitating thought crosses your mind, always correct it with new thought that uplifts, encourages and empowers you. Be consistent, be patient and understand that your logical mind will not make this process easy for you at first.

Being Delusional vs. Consciously Creating a Better Reality for Yourself 

By definition, the term delusional means “holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary”. When you have held onto debilitating beliefs for so long and your previous actions have served as evidence to confirm their truth, it is inevitable that your logical mind will deem your new thoughts as delusional. This is where embracing change tends to become most challenging, as it involves confronting this resistance with unwavering commitment. 


What you have to understand is that your former beliefs and former actions do not dictate your future, unless they remain the same. As the old beliefs become obsolete and new beliefs take their place, there will also be new aligned actions that produce different results, and this will serve as evidence to support your new truth. That being said, the most delusional thing that anyone can do is elect to keep an unfavorable mindset that was programmed for them by external factors and willingly relinquish their own personal power as a result of it.

Success is Fundamentally Rooted in the Mindset

How we show up for ourselves and others, communicate with employees, and perform in business are deeply connected to our mindset and everything that has shaped it. Let’s delve into these interconnected aspects and explore five transformative tips that will catalyze positive change in the workplace. 


A growth-oriented mindset encourages resilience, adaptability, and a willingness to embrace challenges. On the other hand, a fixed mindset hinders progress and limits potential.

Tip 1: Embrace a Growth Mindset

  • Establish the belief that abilities can be developed.
  • View challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.
  • Cultivate a positive attitude toward continuous growth and development.

Unpacking Trauma and Navigating the Impact

Unresolved trauma can cast a long shadow over our personal and professional lives. It shapes our reactions, influences decision-making, and impacts our interactions with others. Acknowledging and addressing trauma is essential for creating a healthier, more productive work environment.


Tip 2: Prioritize Trauma-Informed Leadership

  • Cultivate empathy and understanding for individual experiences.
  • Provide a safe space for open communication about trauma.
  • Implement support systems and resources for employees dealing with trauma.


Elevate Relationships and Sales Performance

To enhance relationships, communication, and sales performance, a holistic approach that intertwines mindset and trauma-informed practices is key.


Tip 3: Implement Empathy-Driven Communication

  • Train teams in active listening and empathetic communication.
  • Create an environment where open dialogue is encouraged.
  • Recognize and validate diverse perspectives, creating a culture of inclusivity.

Tip 4: Invest in Professional Development

  • Offer continuous learning opportunities for employees.
  • Develop leadership skills to enhance communication and relationship-building.
  • Prioritize sales training programs that align with evolving market dynamics.

Tip 5: Maintain a Positive Work Culture

  • Create a workplace where employees feel valued and appreciated.
  • Implement recognition programs to celebrate achievements.
  • Encourage a balance between professional and personal well-being.

By embracing a growth mindset, acknowledging and addressing trauma, and implementing empathetic, integrated strategies, individuals and organizations can create a transformative ripple effect. In this interconnected web of personal and professional growth, how we show up truly matters, influencing the outcomes we achieve and the impact we leave on those around us.


Enjoy the Journey 

As you embark on the empowering journey of subconscious reprogramming, remember that change takes time, and self-compassion is your greatest ally. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it be supportive friends, inspirational books, or mindfulness practices. Seek guidance from mentors who have walked a similar path and found success in reshaping their mindset. Embrace the discomfort that may arise during this process, for it signifies the shedding of old layers to make way for the new. Reflect on your progress regularly, celebrating even the smallest victories, and be patient with yourself as you navigate the intricacies of transformation. 

In the spirit of rewriting your narrative, I encourage you to take the first step today. Commit to a daily practice of positive affirmations, visualize your desired reality, and consistently challenge self-limiting beliefs. If you would like support along the way, consider joining like-minded communities, Facebook groups, and curate your social media to reflect these new changes you want to embody.

Remember, thoughts become actions, and actions reinforce beliefs. It’s never too late to embark on an empowering journey to reprogram your mind, and achieve the life you have always dreamed of!

For more tips and strategies on how to improve your mindset, follow me at @bigdivineenergy.

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Change Your Mindset

How to Let Go of Unconscious Patterns That No Longer Serve You

Spending more and more time going inward will free you to move forward.



Image Credit: Midjourney

I was chatting with a friend of mine who was recently laid off. The experience has been overwhelming for him in a myriad of ways, including feeling inadequate and not good enough to get another job. (more…)

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