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6 Habits That Will Boost Your Confidence And Make You Happier!

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Did you know that confidence isn’t something you’re born with? Astounding – I know!

In our every day life, we’re exposed to so many stories and images of successful, confident people, that it’s easy to assume they naturally started out like that. And, that they’re confident all the time.

Take Sheryl Sandberg, for example. Being the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, you could easily think she’s never grappled with insecurity or self-doubt. But she revealed in her book, Lean In, that she has at times felt like an imposter.

Another example is Academy Award winning actress, Meryl Streep, who said to a reporter in 2002, “I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

Despite what you may think, confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you learn through life experience, adapting to new situations, and doing those things you thought you’d never be able to do.

You can boost your own level of confidence, and here’s 6 tips to get you started.

1. Do Something New Every Day

It’s completely normal to want to stay inside your comfort zone and stick to what you know. But stepping over the barrier that separates you from “where you are now” and “where you want to be”, is a crucial step to feeling more confident.

You don’t have to take up skydiving or make a drastic move to a different country to stretch your zone of comfort. There are many simple, every day steps you can take to build your confidence just the same. Personally, if I want to add some adventure to my day, I pack up my laptop, walk into town, and visit a coffee shop I’ve never been to before.

This might seem simple, but the change of scenery and environment triggers a whole range of new ideas, new perspectives and newfound confidence inside of me. Take a few minutes to think about what you can do today to feel more alive and inspired.

 

2Wear Confident Outfits

The way you dress has a huge impact on how you feel about yourself, and how others see you. If you wear clothes that are uncomfortable, restricting, or clearly too big for you, you won’t feel comfortable, and you won’t look confident.

On the other hand, if you wear outfits that mould your body comfortably, and you incorporate a splash of colour, you’ll naturally feel and look more confident. How do you create a confident outfit? There are two important elements you should focus on.

First, darker colours convey more authority. Second, high-contrast colours make you stand out.

When you put together your outfit in the morning, find a way to add black, charcoal, or navy blue to your outfit. Then, incorporate a contrasting colour, such as white, yellow or light blue.

 

3Use Confident Body Language

We’ve all heard of Amy Cuddy’s TedX talk about power poses.

If you haven’t seen this yet, I highly recommend you check it out here:

Although some may believe that you have to feel confident inside before you can project confidence to others, let me tell you through personal experience, it can work the other way, too. Power poses are perfect for business meetings if you’re tired of never getting your opinions heard.

They can also work in social situations when you’re trying to win an argument with your friend.  The idea behind power poses is to take up more space and to use open body language postures. So instead of sitting down with your arms folded and your legs crossed, rest your arms on the armrests and claim your space.

 

4Speak With a Confident Voice

Most people overlook the importance of their voice when trying to create a confident image. You might plan carefully the words you’re going to say, but it’s how you say them that matters more.

The biggest mistake I see, even recently with a television presenter, is the upswing. An upswing is when you create a rise in intonation at the end of your statements, making your statements sound more like questions.

For example, “On Saturday I went to the movies?”, or “On Saturday I went to the movies.” Repeat these two sentences, the first with a rising intonation at the end, and the second with a downward intonation at the end.

Which sounds more decisive and powerful to you?

 

5. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Comparing yourself to others who have taken a different path in their life and have made different decisions is a sure-fire way to a downward spiral of never feeling good enough.

This is one of the most common confidence crushers because you’re always focusing on what you don’t have, rather than on what you do have.

Here’s what I recommend: create a gratitude list of everything you have (tangible or intangible) that you are thankful for. Whenever you start to compare yourself against a friend or coworker, take out this list and read it over three times to remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have, or have achieved in your life.

 

6. Use Positive Self-Talk Every Morning and Every Night

If you’re going to take away just one piece of advice from this post, this is the most powerful piece of advice you can take with you: commit to positive self-talk every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep.

When you start and end your day with positive, confident affirmations, you can really change your outlook on life. About a year ago I started this process myself. I created a mantra that I now repeat three times every morning and every night.

The mantra I use is really quite simple, and I invite you to use it too, if it’s the right fit for you. The mantra I use is, “I’m worthy of success”. If this mantra doesn’t feel right for you, you can create your own. But the most important part is to commit to repeating it every morning and every night, until it becomes a part of you.

stay positive and confident

Kara Ronin is the founder of Executive Impressions and the creator of cutting edge online training programs to help you Look, Act and Sound more confident in business. Sign up for Kara's free training session, “6 Mistakes to Avoid When Creating a Confident and Powerful Image”. Connect with Kara on Facebook.com or on Twitter.

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20 Comments

20 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Rocky

    Apr 13, 2015 at 5:43 am

    Hii kara,
    These statements r really helpful in our life and motivates me a lot just be continued wid it
    But I wan 2 know how can I make my daily routine to be confident and achieve my goals as I’m a b.tech graduate

    • Avatar

      Kara

      Apr 15, 2015 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Rocky,
      You can try to implement just one of the above tips at a time. For example, this week concentrate on doing something new. Then next week, you might want to move on to confident body language poses. If you implement all at the same time, you can easily feel overwhelmed. So concentrate just on one until you feel comfortable with that one. I hope this helps.

  2. Avatar

    FirstName LastName

    Apr 3, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    I love this. It’s the only motivational, non-cliche article I’ve read in a while. For the past few days, I’ve really been working on standing up straight and taking up all the space I can. I’m even gonna start appearing confident before I enter the gym instead of just after.

    But, how do you make people you’ve known for a while respect you (say I’m a high schooler) while doing this? I’ve tried appearing confident, but fact of the matter is I can’t really talk in front of my teammates at lunch without sounding stupid and I really want that to end. I want to know what to say and when to say it without it being a boring conversation.

    • Avatar

      Kara Ronin

      Apr 5, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      Thank you for your really kind comment. I’m so glad you found this article helpful and the tips useful. Keep up with the body language changes you’ve made. After a while, this will become a natural part of your demeanour. As for conversation tips you can use with your teammates at lunch, my recommendation here is to be the person who asks the questions. People love to talk about themselves and their life, so think of 2-3 questions you can ask people at lunch and have these prepared in your mind before you go. You will feel more prepared and it makes you the conversation leader. Bonus! Questions could be about their weekend, friends, sports, latest movies, etc. And if you really want to impress, find out an interesting fact or piece of news and tell your friends about it at lunch. They’ll think of you as somebody who is knowledgeable and interesting.

      I hope these tips help.

  3. Avatar

    Divsdivya

    Mar 29, 2015 at 7:31 am

    I loved da way u stressed each n every point in da post…especially points 5 and 6….v do compare ourselves knowingly or unknowingly wid odrs….n v hardly spend tym wid ourselves for building a positive personality….a truely inspiring article….thank u…

    • Avatar

      Kara

      Mar 30, 2015 at 10:31 am

      Thank Divsdivya for your honest comment. It’s always motivating to know you’ve written an article that really resonates with people. I hope these tips will help you to build a positive personality.

  4. Avatar

    pranjal malgave

    Mar 24, 2015 at 7:04 am

    Great .

  5. Avatar

    James Simwanza

    Mar 23, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Am learning something here

    • Avatar

      Kara

      Mar 24, 2015 at 7:52 am

      Thanks James!

  6. Avatar

    Rose Costas

    Mar 16, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    Thanks for that post. Many times self confidence is faking it until you’ve made it. These are very simple things people can do but are very effective.

    • Avatar

      Kara

      Mar 18, 2015 at 10:01 am

      Hi Rose. Thanks for reading! Faking it ’til you make it can work, but I also believe we need to build our inner confidence to have a level of confidence that is sustainable – even through tough times. I’m glad you found these tips useful and simple.

  7. Avatar

    Kenneth

    Mar 15, 2015 at 8:33 am

    Great piece of advice..

  8. Avatar

    Peter

    Mar 15, 2015 at 3:18 am

    I love points 3 & 4 Kara! I have been a student of NLP for quite a while and I have seen how effective these methods can be.

    • Avatar

      Kara

      Mar 15, 2015 at 12:52 pm

      Hi Peter. NLP is a really interesting area to learn about, and can be very effective in our day-to-day life. Do you learn through school, or online?

      • Avatar

        Peter

        Mar 15, 2015 at 4:47 pm

        Hi Kara,
        I attended a program in NLP a few years back – it was a workshop. I continue to try to apply it myself as well as recommend a few NLP methods to my clients. Since there really is no end to learning, I still consider myself a student.

  9. Avatar

    surajkashyap

    Mar 13, 2015 at 6:38 am

    its very nice…..
    its make me motivate.

    • Avatar

      Kara Ronin

      Mar 13, 2015 at 8:03 pm

      Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.

  10. Avatar

    Kara Ronin

    Mar 12, 2015 at 8:20 am

    I’m so glad you enjoyed this article. I truly believe (like Eve Michaels) that you can instantly make yourself feel more confident and happier by wearing something that makes you feel great. I’ve just checked out Eve’s web page, thanks for letting me know about her. And yoga – absolutely. Practice those power poses. Great idea Stefanie.

  11. Avatar

    stefanie

    Mar 12, 2015 at 7:45 am

    Thanks for bringing up these helpful points. In 2012, I’ve heard Eve Michaels speaking about creating your image and it’s influence on your success – it literally opened my eyes! Her statement: Our success starts in our inner world which is influenced by our appearance.
    I would like to add that practicing yoga regularly helps a lot to increase the body awareness and to get used to power poses.

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