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Happiness Is Not a Myth – Here’s How You Can Create It



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If you’ve watched a video, read a blog post, or follow personal development blog posts, you’ve come to understand that true happiness and fulfillment are an internal job. No other human being can make you feel happy — at least not sustainable happiness. 

There are moments when others in your life help you to feel good, but happiness starts and blooms from inside of you. Happiness comes when you make and witness progress towards your goals. Happiness is real when you’re authentically living your life’s purpose. 

If you’re struggling with how to build happiness habits consistently, here are four strategies to incorporate. You can live out happiness in an abundant way.

1. Make getting enough sleep a significant goal

Sleep is one of those life areas that we know we need more of it, but it often gets pushed aside because other things feel as if they’re more of a priority. One key to sustained success is having enough energy to accomplish your goals. You won’t have enough energy if you’re not consistently getting enough sleep. 

One of the primary reasons people feel the way they do can be traced back to not getting enough sleep. A lack of sleep drains your energy, slows you down, and puts you in an irritable mood. Successful leaders do their best to get enough sleep as a part of incorporating healthy habits. Now, what is enough sleep? That will be different for each person and what their body dictates. It’s up to you to study yourself and give your body and mind the sleep it needs.

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” – Dale Carnegie

2. Move your body and change your state

I’m not going to give you a rant about the need to exercise. There is more than enough material talking about the importance of being physically active. What you should understand is that every time you move your body, you change your state. Physical movement has an immediate effect on our feelings. If you’re mad, go for a short jog. If you’re feeling off, turn on some music and dance it out. If you’re sleepy, stand up, stretch, and breathe. 

Moving your body is one of the purest ways to ensure proper energy management. It’s also essential to living a long life. Exercise and physical movement, along with giving your body the fuel (nutrition) it needs, helps you take on the hard work of becoming the best version of yourself.

Happiness happens with the right mindset, being in control of your feelings and emotions, and knowing how to get into a better state when something upsets you. Moving your body is a great way to practice happiness.

3. Create your ideal form of work

We spend so much time doing something to pay our bills and help us live a life free of financial stress. That may be a job or a business, but one way or another, it does have a tremendous effect on your life. 

If you’re going to create happiness in your life, you have to create your ideal “earn a living” situation. If it’s going after a better job, use the Internet to learn where that job is, what it will take to secure it, and get to work. If it’s creating a business, take advantage of all the tools and technology at our disposal. Get clear on who you want to help and what you want to help them do. Put the pieces together. 

Life is too short to spend a significant chunk of your week miserable and feeling financial stress. The path to a better working situation is not easy, but those that came before us have shown it’s possible. Find or create work that fulfills you, and you will be on the path to creating happiness because one of the most challenging areas of your life will be fulling your purpose.

“Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress – the solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problems, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.” – Mark Manson

4. Get out of living the comparison loop

Social media and the open access we have to others has created a culture that feeds into comparison syndrome. We continuously see others’ success, and it can make us feel punny when our mind spirals. We see others win, and it fuels our bitterness, envy, and irritation. We are frustrated that it seems to be taking so long for us. The comparison bruises our ego. 

If you’re going to live a happy life through healthy habits, you have to start living out your personal journey. This has to be about you vs. you every day, and that’s the only comparison you’ll allow. 

You compete to do better than you did the day before. You vow to give each day your best, and the only companion you make is against the effort you make. This becomes about you becoming better and not worrying about being better than someone else.

It’s not a fantasy or myth that you can be happy every day, even when life is not going as planned. Happiness is a learned habit like anything else. You can train your mind, body, and spirit to do whatever it takes to live fulfilled. 

Look at these four areas of your life and see how they’re lining up. The happiness you seek lies in the habits you’re practicing and building. You can be happy every day if you choose to be. 

Gwen Lane started her first business in elementary school selling Airheads on a school bus. These days, she's built one of the premier online learning communities, The Spark School. She helps entrepreneurs and businesses increase their influence and revenue through modern growth strategies. She has 12+ years of experience. A few of the organizations she's worked with include Sony Pictures, Proctor and Gamble, AwesomenessTV, YouTube, Google, Facebook, Disney, Nike and more. She's been published and featured in The HuffPost, CBS LA, The Spark Show and many more. Join her at

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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3 Simple Steps to Cultivate Courage and Create a Life of Meaning

we cultivate meaning in our lives when we pursue our calling



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Our deepest human desire is to cultivate meaning in our lives. Our deepest human need is to survive. (more…)

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Grit: The Key to Your Ultimate Greatness

Grit is an overlooked aspect of success, but it plays a critical role.



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A grit mindset is an essential key to your greatness. It’s what separates those who achieve their goals from those who give up and never reach their potential. It’s also the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery. If you want to be great and achieve your dreams, then you need grit. Luckily, it’s something that can be learned. Please keep reading to learn more about grit and discover four ways to develop it. (more…)

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