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5 Ways to Become Firm Friends With Failure

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Making a mistake on a spreadsheet; getting the boot from your job; or choosing the wrong career path. Failure, in many different guises, impacts every single one of us at some point, even the most successful of us.

Ever heard of the old saying, “form is temporary, class is permanent”, and failure can be just that – temporary. In fact, I know from my own journey that with the right mindset and attitude, failure can become the very thing that pushes you to greater things. 

It’s really all about reframing what you think you know about failure and recognising that going two steps forward and one step back is an often-necessary feature of the path to success. 

Obviously, this is rather easier said than done. Our culture rewards those who strive for perfection, but as we all know, perfection doesn’t exist, so why hold yourself to such unrealistic expectations? 

It’s not about deciding what do if you are to fail, but rather knowing how to respond when you do fail.

Five Ways to Become Firm Friends with Failure:

#1: Understand the Cause

To accept your failure, you must have the courage to stand and face your fear. Never underestimate how important this first stage really is. It’s a natural human reaction to attempt to turn your back on uncomfortable situations and emotions. After all, we have all made a mistake and tried to bury it under the sand, pass the buck, or make excuses. 

However, if you really want to grow and embrace failure, this just isn’t an option anymore.

In the immediate aftermath of something going wrong, don’t concern yourself with trying to repair a mistake or who might have been affected by it – first and foremost you need to understand what went wrong.

Own up, and rather than beating yourself up, realistically assess the outcome of your misstep and why you allowed it to come about. It’s crucial to do this before anything else.

#2: Take Ownership

Once you’ve determined the how’s, why’s and what’s of what has gone wrong, and how you might prevent this issue in the future, it’s time to take ownership. 

Whether you’re an employee or a business owner, everyone in that organisation will want you to summon the maturity, courage and strength of character to say that something hasn’t quite gone the way you wanted it to. 

This doesn’t need to be a long-drawn-out process. It’s as easy as sitting down with your colleagues, or even by yourself to examine why your start-up failed, why you forgot to send that important email and most importantly, what you’re doing to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

“There is no such thing as failure, there are only results.” – Tony Robbins

#3: Learn Your Lesson

Learning from your failure is the key aspect to making peace with your yourself. When you rearrange your thought process, you can give yourself the space to turn failure into opportunity

Think about any great achievement in your life – that promotion, buying your first home, or having children – each and every one of these required a certain aspect of changing the way you think, particularly the later. 

The same applies to when you make mistakes – after all, what’s the point in hammering yourself for something that is inherently human? And that’s all mistakes, and ultimately failure really are.

Once you’ve looked at yourself in the mirror and you’ve accepted your fate, vow to learn something from it. 

Before pressing ahead though, give yourself a pat on the back. While, yes, you’ve made a misstep somewhere along the line, celebrate the fact that you’ve learned something new on your journey.

#4: Move On

Quite often, it’s not the mistake itself that causes the damage. It’s the lasting impact of not being able to manage your guilt and regret. 

Do not allow the experience of failure to mar your future; don’t let it define your life and how you interact with the pursuit of success. Replaying your past repeatedly and wishing things had been different, will solve nothing.

Life isn’t fair, it never has been and never will be so; never fall into the trap of feeling as though you’re a victim, you’re not and it’s important to come to terms with that and move on.

Forgiving yourself is the most important part of embracing failure. You will slide into the victim trap if you cling on to those memories as a negative experience. Instead, continually remind yourself of what you learnt during this time.

#5: Share Your Experience 

Sharing your experiences about what you’ve learnt with those around you is great way to free yourself from the shackles of failure. Having said that though, it’s important to frame your narrative in the right way, no matter if you’re speaking as an employer, employee or even as a friend.

Don’t tow the usual line of, “Jeez, I’m so stupid, guess what happened to me a few weeks back.” Don’t give yourself the opportunity to fall into old habits and claim back your own narrative. 

Lead the story with your newly found viewpoint, “Guess what happened to me a few weeks back. It was a tough day, but I really learned a hard lesson.”

By telling the story in this way, you can incorporate each of the five points we’ve talked about in this piece.

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Did You Know

How to Turn a Simple Link-in-Bio Into a Powerful Brand Hub

Transform your forgotten bio link into a high-impact gateway that fuels engagement, clicks, and conversions across every social platform.

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Personal Development

These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident

Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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Success Advice

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Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

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