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5 Ways to Become Firm Friends With Failure

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Making a mistake on a spreadsheet; getting the boot from your job; or choosing the wrong career path. Failure, in many different guises, impacts every single one of us at some point, even the most successful of us.

Ever heard of the old saying, “form is temporary, class is permanent”, and failure can be just that – temporary. In fact, I know from my own journey that with the right mindset and attitude, failure can become the very thing that pushes you to greater things. 

It’s really all about reframing what you think you know about failure and recognising that going two steps forward and one step back is an often-necessary feature of the path to success. 

Obviously, this is rather easier said than done. Our culture rewards those who strive for perfection, but as we all know, perfection doesn’t exist, so why hold yourself to such unrealistic expectations? 

It’s not about deciding what do if you are to fail, but rather knowing how to respond when you do fail.

Five Ways to Become Firm Friends with Failure:

#1: Understand the Cause

To accept your failure, you must have the courage to stand and face your fear. Never underestimate how important this first stage really is. It’s a natural human reaction to attempt to turn your back on uncomfortable situations and emotions. After all, we have all made a mistake and tried to bury it under the sand, pass the buck, or make excuses. 

However, if you really want to grow and embrace failure, this just isn’t an option anymore.

In the immediate aftermath of something going wrong, don’t concern yourself with trying to repair a mistake or who might have been affected by it – first and foremost you need to understand what went wrong.

Own up, and rather than beating yourself up, realistically assess the outcome of your misstep and why you allowed it to come about. It’s crucial to do this before anything else.

#2: Take Ownership

Once you’ve determined the how’s, why’s and what’s of what has gone wrong, and how you might prevent this issue in the future, it’s time to take ownership. 

Whether you’re an employee or a business owner, everyone in that organisation will want you to summon the maturity, courage and strength of character to say that something hasn’t quite gone the way you wanted it to. 

This doesn’t need to be a long-drawn-out process. It’s as easy as sitting down with your colleagues, or even by yourself to examine why your start-up failed, why you forgot to send that important email and most importantly, what you’re doing to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

“There is no such thing as failure, there are only results.” – Tony Robbins

#3: Learn Your Lesson

Learning from your failure is the key aspect to making peace with your yourself. When you rearrange your thought process, you can give yourself the space to turn failure into opportunity

Think about any great achievement in your life – that promotion, buying your first home, or having children – each and every one of these required a certain aspect of changing the way you think, particularly the later. 

The same applies to when you make mistakes – after all, what’s the point in hammering yourself for something that is inherently human? And that’s all mistakes, and ultimately failure really are.

Once you’ve looked at yourself in the mirror and you’ve accepted your fate, vow to learn something from it. 

Before pressing ahead though, give yourself a pat on the back. While, yes, you’ve made a misstep somewhere along the line, celebrate the fact that you’ve learned something new on your journey.

#4: Move On

Quite often, it’s not the mistake itself that causes the damage. It’s the lasting impact of not being able to manage your guilt and regret. 

Do not allow the experience of failure to mar your future; don’t let it define your life and how you interact with the pursuit of success. Replaying your past repeatedly and wishing things had been different, will solve nothing.

Life isn’t fair, it never has been and never will be so; never fall into the trap of feeling as though you’re a victim, you’re not and it’s important to come to terms with that and move on.

Forgiving yourself is the most important part of embracing failure. You will slide into the victim trap if you cling on to those memories as a negative experience. Instead, continually remind yourself of what you learnt during this time.

#5: Share Your Experience 

Sharing your experiences about what you’ve learnt with those around you is great way to free yourself from the shackles of failure. Having said that though, it’s important to frame your narrative in the right way, no matter if you’re speaking as an employer, employee or even as a friend.

Don’t tow the usual line of, “Jeez, I’m so stupid, guess what happened to me a few weeks back.” Don’t give yourself the opportunity to fall into old habits and claim back your own narrative. 

Lead the story with your newly found viewpoint, “Guess what happened to me a few weeks back. It was a tough day, but I really learned a hard lesson.”

By telling the story in this way, you can incorporate each of the five points we’ve talked about in this piece.

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Success Advice

Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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