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Success Advice

3 Tips To Overcoming The Plateaus Of Success

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3 Tips To Overcoming The Plateaus Of Success

Learn to love the grind. That’s probably the only thing you should take away from this short post.

As we get closer to the goals we have set for ourselves, our standard for happiness simply rises along with our achievements. This is called “the hedonic treadmill

We will always measure our life in contrast to where we were yesterday and not in the totality of our achievements.

We often think that life has an “end-game” – That illusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that’ll make you feel fulfilled & happy for a lifetime.If only you could reach $100k/year. If only that attractive girl would date you. If only you got those amazing abs

Then everything would be different, right? Different in a fundamentally life-changing way? Yeah… no. It doesn’t work out that way. Don’t get me wrong; It’ll make you somewhat happy – just not for a long time.

No matter where you are in life, there will always be that “extra something” you think you need, to become truly happy. Something you already know but needs reminding once-in-a-while. It’s easy to lose track of what really matters in our daily grind.

“Aim for an arc of small, consecutive victories throughout your entire life.”  Owen Cook

Relative Vs. Absolute Happiness

As we progress in life our “happiness-level” simply rises with us. Meaning every-time we achieve something great, we create a new “baseline” for happiness. As we achieve more we’ll need increasingly greater achievements to get that same “high” again.

As long as we are on the “up ‘n up” in life we’ll feel engaged and content. Conversely, when we’ve reached a certain plateau where we’ve stopped growing we’ll become less happy.

  • If you get rejected today, it will still hurt – although you might have had it work out great in the past
  • If you get a little bit chubbier you’ll still be displeased – although you might still be in better shape than a year ago
  • If you lose a large amount of money you’ll still feel like crap – although you might be earning more money than ever before.

Frantically speeding towards the finish line is like a dog chasing its own tail.

 

There is NO finish line – only progress

If you stop progressing – you stop being happy. You can also see this in people who achieved great successes early on in their life;

Buzz Aldrin – The second man to set foot on the moon fell into depression and alcoholism when “coming back down to earth”. His baseline of achievement was set so high that everything simply faded in contrast.

“I really think that was the result of inherited tendencies which showed up in my mother’s side of the family,” he says. That was combined maybe with the intensity of the notoriety and then the aftermath of that notoriety and decisions as to what I was going to do next.” 

What do you do after walking on the moon eh?

William “The Fridge” Perry – After plagued with insecurities because of his weight, he resorted to proving his self-worth through athletics. He battered his way up to the NFL and played for the Chicago Bears. After performing some remarkable athletic feats, (especially for a guy his size – 300lbs) gaining some incredible fame, he did advertisements for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Coca Cola & McDonalds. He joined pretty much every talk show you could imagine. Heck – He even got his own G.I. Joe action figure.

Yet what’s the man who “has got it all‘ going to do next?

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning”. – Benjamin Franklin

People, after reaching a high degree of success, often fall into a void and get detached from their own sense of self. They’ve linked their own worth with their achievements. Yet – what happens when all that falls away? No more money, no more fame, , no more..Self?

Especially people who have reached an excessive degree of success can fall down the hardest. This leads to depression & escaping in drugs, alcohol, video-games, tv and food. The questions “what’s next? ” & “How am I going to beat my last performance” remains unsolved.

 

Redefining Success

Don’t aim for excess – aim for progress. It’s not the absolutes that make you happy, yet we live in a society where it’s common to glorify “ideals“, especially where social media is so abundant and you constantly see fabricated images of how perfect everyone else is. Coined “The facebook-syndrome”

Todd Essig states that; “Trying to find worth by looking further up the ladder is pretty consistently a self-destructive endeavor.” So don’t. I’m not saying you shouldn’t chase big achievements & high benchmarks. You definitely should.

How else are you going to measure progress without some arbitrary benchmarks? It’s how we keep score when we’re playing this game called “life

I’m saying you should focus on doing your best at playing the game and not the score. Focus on taking the actions that are necessary to grow yourself consistently and not the absolute outcome you might get.

  • Focus on going to the gym consistently
  • Focus on writing on your website consistently
  • Focus on reading consistently
  • Focus on building up your skills consistently

Just spread them out and don’t set your baseline impossibly high. Learn to love the process of growing and not frantically looking towards the end. It will only make you restless if you do.

Essence

Here’s some practical advice to take away;

  • Set benchmarks for your life but focus on the process needed to get there. Focus on playing the game. The benchmarks are simply there to keep score.
  • Measure your own life in absolutes by keeping a log of your life. I recommend a simple paper journal.
  • Aim for small wins with visible, controllable results

Don’t think: “Where’s the end?” – since you’ll never really get there. Always think: “What’s next?” Just like Aesop’s fable goes; Slow and steady wins the race. And in this case…You win at life.

 

Thanks for reading this short article. If you’re having some more thoughts or questions about this post – feel free to leave those in the comment section below.
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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. aspecialist

    Nov 15, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    This indeed is a good article to read. I think keeping your eye on the price too much and thinking about the end result will make you more likely forget about the little things you gain in the process of achieving success. Learning is a continuous process, and so should growth.

  2. Tim Denning

    Aug 7, 2015 at 10:07 am

    The small wins are one of the most important things. Most of us do little things every day that affect our overall success but because the actions could be deemed small, we take no notice. These small actions compound over time and can help us, or hinder us.

    Thanks Simon for sharing your tips.

  3. Lawrence Berry

    Jul 28, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    You are absolutely right in that progress is one of the defining factors in remaining happy. This not only applies to your overall level of happiness, but to having long-lasting relationships as well. You need to be progressing in someway. Everyone should aim for progress on an everyday basis, no matter how big or small that progress is. This will make you feel alive, and like you are accomplishing something. They should also have a clear aim for what they want to obtain from this consistent progress, that will help them obtain more productivity in reaching success.

    • Simon Somlai

      Aug 2, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Hey Lawrence,

      I’m glad you liked the article man and that it resonated with your own experiences 🙂

      Take care,

      S

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Success Advice

The 6 Step Process for Delivering Critical Feedback in a Constructive Way

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We have all been in the position where we knew we needed to have a difficult conversation at work that involved delivering constructive feedback. Maybe a major deadline was missed, there was a clear decline in performance, or someone blatantly dropped the ball. Most of us avoid delivering the feedback, and the conversation can get pushed back again and again, wasting valuable time and money.

Delivering constructive feedback is challenging, and uncomfortable for most people, even highly trained leaders. Yet, delivering and accepting feedback is one of the most important keys for success. So why do we avoid these conversations? Because we never learned how to have them.

Open, honest, direct communication is not a skill we are taught in school. There is no “How to Have Tough Conversations” 101. As a clinical psychologist that specializes in couples work, I see just how important communication is in maintaining thriving relationships. I understand that good communication is the foundation of every successful relationship; both intimate relationships and your work relationships.

Below is a 6-step guide to providing constructive feedback:

Step 1: Clarity on the Goal of the Conversation  

The first step is to get clear on the goal of the feedback conversation. Are you planning to see a change in performance, simply communicate how you felt, or receive an apology? Get clear on what you are hoping to get out of the conversation. Be honest with yourself about what you need, what is most helpful to the relationship, and what is most helpful to the organization. Getting clear on the goal also ensures you are speaking with the right person.

“I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.” – Elon Musk

Step 2: Invitation

Set up a time to talk. Feedback conversations are not meant to be had in the hallway. It is important that both parties can set aside adequate time and have the space needed for dialogue. Additionally, there must be respect for both parties’ need for time to process information. For example, if you are delivering feedback, and the receiver needs time to process the feedback before responding, setting up a subsequent meeting will be most helpful.

Step 3: Ownership

Own the role you played in creating the situation. When you model ownership of blind spots, failures, or missteps, you set the stage for the receiver to do the same. For example, you may acknowledge that you were not aware of how to support your employee and not aware of the problem until x situation occurred. Equally important as owning your role, is owning your emotions. Own your emotions using “I” statements. For example, “I felt disappointed when I realized your sales performance had substantially declined”.

Step 4: Open, Honest, Direct Feedback

Feedback that dances around the problem does not do anyone any good. It only increases anxiety on behalf of the receiver, and potentially causes the feedback to get totally lost. The conversation needs to be open, honest, and direct. For example: “I felt concerned when you did not attend the last two strategy calls this month…It brought up questions for me about your commitment to the company.”

Step 5: Listen, Validate and Accept

When providing feedback, it is important both parties maintain an open mind, and respond in a way that communicates validation and acceptance. As soon as an individual gets defensive, feedback cannot be taken in, and the value of the conversation dramatically decreases. When providing feedback it is important to listen, validate, and accept your receiver’s viewpoint. Notice, I did not say agree. This looks something like saying: “I can see why X led you to commit Y , I understand you were under a great deal of stress/dealing with a personal situation/frustrated.”

“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” – Bill Gates

Step 6: A Clear Plan for Moving Forward

In providing feedback, the magic is that now things can change! If feedback is never given, relationships end, things will stay the same, businesses will die, and money will be lost. If you have gotten to this step, that means you did the hard work, and now you get to put change into action. A clear plan includes an acknowledgement from both parties regarding what they will do differently to prevent the situation from occurring again, and how they will stay accountable in making the change happen.

The good news about delivering feedback is that the more you do it, the easier it gets. Remember, giving and receiving feedback is one of the most surefire ways to open yourself up to massive growth.

As a giver of feedback, it is your job to model openness and a desire for growth, so that the receiver may take in the feedback and make the necessary changes. Exceling at feedback delivery will help you set you apart from others and enable you to achieve extraordinary relationships, in both your personal and work lives.

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Success Advice

Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Have a Podcast, Youtube Channel or Online Show

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Confidence comes from a place of strong understanding of self. After close to three years on radio, I’ve grown from a shy introvert to a shy introvert with an extrovert persona. When the mic is turned on, I can channel a version of myself that some say is attractive, strong, and of course, confident but it wasn’t always this way.

What I want to share with you is what I discovered on this journey into broadcast that you can apply to your life, your ventures, and your personal development. This doesn’t require any fancy gear. It does require a leap of faith on your part because once you go down the road of media; it can change your life.

1. Perceived Expertise

When you go to a doctor, you expect their knowledge will guide them to a solution to your problems. When you have a show, you become your listeners’ doctor. For all the multiple thousands, maybe millions, of YouTube channels, podcasts, and user-created content in the world, each person that gets behind a mic takes a position on their passion, their opinions, and their themes.

They challenge the status quo for the benefit of their listeners in hopes to entertain and educate. With consistency on your side, those fans place you on a platform and give you permission to influence them.

2. Global Acknowledgement

One of the benefits to increasing confidence is when you receive thank you notes from people you may never meet. The feeling of enriching someone’s life from halfway around the globe, provides validation you’re enhancing someone else’s life with your wisdom and your wit.

The very first time I was told I was making a difference in someone’s life in a country other than my own, I felt like I caused massive impact that transcends my circle of influence. When you experience just how much you can cause impact and it comes back to you, it’ll change your worldview.

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.” – Zig Ziglar

3. Backed By Numbers

One of the most exciting ways to measure success is to quantify your growth. It’s not enough to just broadcast. Having subscribers and downloads helps to know, numerically, how well you’re doing. Word of caution. This can be a way to set yourself up for distress because of number envy but if you understand what the numbers mean; you can control the narrative of the numbers.

The major number that makes most people smile is 10,000. I’d advise it to be 1. Here’s why. As you grow in your industry, so does your reach. If you learned that the one person that subscribed totally changed for the better because of you, wouldn’t that be worth the effort?

4. Effective Communication

While it’s not talked about much, having a show is documentation. You create a dynamic account of your life, your industry, and the pulse on what’s important simply by having a show. When you find a channel to improve your communication skills, you demand attention and people will listen to you. You become more trusted as a leader and people will follow you once they believe you can lead them to their wants and needs.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Tony Robbins

These insights have helped many people become leaders and, ultimately, move others to their best selves. It’s worked for me and I hope it works for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about showing up and showing out.

Have you ever thought about having a radio show? If so, what would you talk about? Let us below!

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5 Essential Skills to Drive Success in Every Niche

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There are many people who don’t have the courage to launch a business in a niche as they think they don’t have the right skills and experience to obtain success. While there are specific skills which determine the success in every niche, there are also some general skills which ensure success in any business you would try.

Below are 5 essential skills you need to drive success in every aspect of your life:

1. Ambition

When you launch a new business, you need to be prepared for difficult moments such as fighting the competition and winning your target audience. Moreover, if you follow some successful entrepreneurs, you should keep in mind that they also faced difficulties and continue to experience them. So, how does a successful entrepreneur get over all the difficulties?

The essential skill you need to possess is called ambition. Set small and clear milestones in your development plan and use your ambition to go over each difficulty and finalize what you had in your mind. It doesn’t matter how hard the path is going to be. Visualize your target and put in all the efforts to achieve it. Staying organized and scheduling each step to get things done are some of the techniques you can use to achieve success.

2. Listen to those around you

While listening to your instincts is necessary if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, this is not enough. As your business develops, you will have an entire team to manage and lead to success. Therefore, you cannot be a successful leader and have success in every niche unless you learn how to listen to the people around you.

You should listen to your employees and discover what they are expecting from you. This is the way to follow if you want to keep your team motivated and help them give the best of themselves.

On the other hand, you will need to listen to your customers to improve your products and services and provide excellent customer support. By listening carefully to the voice of your customers, you will be able to stand out of the competition and ensure their loyalty towards your brand.

“We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.” – Jeff Bezos

3. Courage

When you decided to become an entrepreneur and build your own business, it means you are a courageous person. Courage will help you harness the power of creativity. Don’t be afraid to take risks if you feel a specific action will bring more success to your business.

Apart from doing intensive research on your ideas and developing the exact steps you are going to follow, you will need the courage to implement them. Not all the ideas will turn out to be successful.

Regardless, you will have something to learn from each success or mistake and this will help you move your business even further. When you have the courage to follow a path which is not very familiar to you, this is going to be the moment when you will widen your horizons and exceed your limits to achieve success.

4. Creativity and imagination

If you already implemented your idea and you see that it works, you most probably think that you don’t need to change anything to achieve more success. You need to keep in mind that customers’ preferences change and your competition is waiting for your mistakes to “steal” your clients.

Therefore, you need to use your creativity and imagination to improve your products and services to meet your customers’ expectations. What is more, creativity can also mean that you are open to talk to new people and use their experience to improve something in your business.

“Get closer than ever to your customers. So close that you tell them what they need well before they realize it themselves.” – Steve Jobs

5. Continuous learning

If you want to drive success in every niche you will need to show a willingness to learn. You need to stay updated with what happens in your niche and what your customers expect from you.

Education is not only something for school. It is a lifelong process, and you should be open to seek knowledge and improve your skills with every opportunity. An efficient trick is to stay close to people who are already successful in your industry, ask their opinions on various subjects and learn from their experience.

The above five essential skills will help you build a successful business in every niche. A true leader is ambitious, knows to listen to the people around him, and is always open to learning from others.

No matter the size of your business, you will need to be creative and use your imagination to improve your products and services. These skills will help any leader develop new skills, stand out of the crowd, and strengthen his position on the market.

What skill do you think is most important to be successful in life? Let us know below!

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Success Advice

5 Key Investment Principles from Warren Buffett

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Warren Buffett is a mentor for a lot of traders. Why shouldn’t he be? After all, his investing principles have earned him the title of the world’s greatest investor. His way of working is a little contradictory to many others in the arena of online trading. He doesn’t invest the way it’s depicted in the popular media. He is the kind of investor who likes buying and holding.

Buffett has taught us that once you buy a stock, hold it no matter what. Forget that there is a recession in the economy or it is at its boom. Whether it’s good times or bad, you’re supposed to hold onto the stock.

Buffett doesn’t just buy stocks for the sake of holding them. He buys them for a specific reason. When those reasons no longer exist, he sells the stocks. He not only looks for good prices but sound management and a competitive advantage. He shared his opinion that companies such as IBM, Sears, and GM are great but they cannot stay competitive for long. Therefore, these companies shouldn’t be a part of your portfolio.

Why not learn from the pro himself and invest the right way? Here are 5 key principles to begin with:

1. Invest In What You Know

Before investing in a stock, it is very important to understand what a company does and how it makes its money. Ever wondered why Buffett has always avoided investing in tech stocks? It’s because he does not completely understand their business model. He sticks to what he knows.

This also explains why he prefers investing in Berkshire’s stocks. It represents a diverse mix of stocks such as utilities, banking, and insurance and consumer products. All of these are businesses that Buffett understands very well. No wonder he has invested a significant amount of money here.

“Beware the investment activity that produces applause; the great moves are usually greeted by yawns.”  – Warren Buffett

2. Before Buying a Stock, List the Criteria

It makes sense to buy stocks on the basis of criteria, right? After all, you’re ensuring that you don’t end up investing in something unfavorable. You could be searching for stocks in a certain industry with a set price to earnings ratio.

Buffett never makes the price of the stock the sole criteria of his buying decision. Sometimes, great companies end up taking a price dip because of the market situation. However, holding onto these stocks could still turn out to be favorable.

3. Be Aggressive During Tough Times

Generally, it’s not recommended to time the market. But if you’re a long-term investor, you’ll be fine no matter when you buy. This means that even during the tough economic times, you shouldn’t settle down. Keep on looking for opportunities. This is what Warren Buffett does because he knows that things will eventually turn around.

Buffett is known for capitalizing on opportunities during and after the great recession. Bank of America investment is one of the best examples of this. In his latest annual letter, Buffett said that “dark clouds will fill the sky almost after every decade. But it certainly will rain gold.” So don’t despair, keep on investing.

4. Don’t Worry About the Day to Day Market Movements

Along with other tips, Buffett also said that you must only buy a stock if you are comfortable holding on to it in case the stock market shuts down for a decade. Since you are holding onto the stocks for 10 or more years, there is no point in losing sleep over the minor swings.

Ignore the headlines about the trade wars, the government shutdown, and other chaotic news. Instead, you focus on learning the potential growth of your company over the course of time. The fact is, stock prices keep on changing, but it’s not significant if the company’s business still has a bright future.

“Only buy something that you’d be perfectly happy to hold if the market shut down for 10 years.” – Warren Buffett

5. Buy Buffett’s Stocks

Buffett keeps everything simple when it comes to investing. If you don’t want to do the guesswork and research to figure out which stocks to buy, simply invest in the stocks Buffett already owns. But, make sure you understand the business. Buffett discloses his holdings publically each quarter. He has capital in companies such as Wells Fargo, Apple, and Bank of America. To keep things simple, you can buy the shares of Berkshire Hathaway itself.

Warren Buffett hasn’t been successful all by himself. He has a team of investors who help him do legal work and give him investment tips. He’s also a part of an advisor network because he understands that an investor needs all the help he can get. It’s amazing that a billionaire like him still listens to others.

Now that you know how to invest like Buffett, it’s time you prepare your investment strategy. These principles are not hard and fast criteria, they are simply a discipline strategy all investors should stick to. Along with these, you can use math, technical analysis, fundamental analysis, and even stock charts to make a decision. You may not end up a billionaire, but you will avoid losses and make more profits than your fellows.

Which one of the 5 key investment principles from above resonated with you most? Let us know below!

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