Connect with us

Success Advice

3 Signs You’re Helping Raise a Quitter

Published

on

3 signs you're raising a quitter
Image Credit: Unsplash

Quitting is a bad habit and one that is taught and learned. As parents, we have way more control over this than we think, or even want to take responsibility for. Our children emulate what they see. If you bounce from job to job, or hobby to hobby, your child is more likely to do the same.

Conversely, if you have been committed to your marriage, your career, your faith, or to a fitness regimen, your children are likely to do the same. Duplication is by no means guaranteed, and as a father of 5 who has stumbled, fumbled, and bumbled my way through parenthood, I’ve discovered 3 key indicators of when I am enabling, perhaps even cultivating, a culture of quitting.

1. You Use Your Excuses As Their Exit

Being a good parent is hard. Very hard. Harder than most people think. Combine this with your faith, a meaningful relationship with your spouse, a career, a fitness regimen, and you’ve got a resume that would make any circus juggler envious.

It’s our job as parents to nurture the interests and creativity of our children. So what do we do? We have them learn an instrument. We put them in sports. We send them to coding or acting class. We keep them busy-especially during the summer months. Here’s the catch, keeping them busy makes you busier.

After a particularly stressful day, the last thing you want to hear is, “Mommy/Daddy I have practice at 6:30 pm.” Don’t even get me started if you are the coach. All you want to do is sit on the couch. I’ve been there. When I get home after a long day, I don’t want to jump back in my car to drop off my kid.

Your child sees this and feeds off this energy. The last thing a kid wants to hear or see is their mom or dad groan about taking them to band practice after anxiously waiting for you to come home for the last hour. It sets a precedence and one that children can use as leverage to quit in the future. Remember, everything is fun in the beginning-until you want to be exceptional at it. Then the reality of what it takes to be good settles in. When this reality settles in is when most people, not only children, abandon their goals or dreams.

“But Paul, I have to force my kid to go and it’s a battle every time.” I’ve been there. It is easy to just give up and let your child stay home or worse yet, quit because you don’t want to deal with the regular confrontation of forcing them to participate in their activities or because you are exhausted. You cannot permit your lethargy as a way out for your child or they will use your moment of weakness as an escape. Once your child learns how to use this as leverage they will exploit it. Trust me. They will. I know some of you will argue, “Not my child.” and I’ll just smile and agree with you. Don’t let your excuses be the reason your children quit.

“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.” – Vince Lombardi

2. You Finish/Fix Things For Them

It never fails. There is a class assignment or a science fair and one child turns in a project or a diorama that was clearly completed by a parent. I’m not trying to make a blanket statement, I realize that there are many talented children who are beyond their years, but let’s be real. When Tommy turns in a model of Fenway Park that looks like Frank Lloyd Wright could have done it, it’s going to raise an eyebrow.

I’m all for participating in the assignment with your kid and using it as an opportunity to connect, just not doing it for them. Winning an award for work they did not personally complete is just as bad, or worse than participation trophies. Buy them the supplies and all the tools they need to complete the assignment, just don’t do it for them or you’ll find yourself doing this more times than you think.

It is important that we let our children finish what they start. This applies to everything, even household chores. There are more times than I can count where I ask one of my kids to do something, knowing that I can get it done faster and better than they can, and yet I sit on the sidelines watching and waiting for them to complete the tasks.

It wasn’t always this way. I used to:  1) assign a chore to my children, 2) wait for them to complete it, 3) get tired of waiting, and 4) do it myself. This was a horrible pattern and it taught them that if they didn’t do something, it would eventually get done by someone else. Bad. Bad. Bad.

There is an amazing sense of satisfaction and self worth that is accompanied with finishing things on our own and as parents, it can be challenging to watch our children struggle, but it is necessary.

“Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit.” – Edwin Louis Cole

3. You Make Quitting an Option

I cringe when I hear someone say, “Try it, and if you don’t like it-quit.” When you start something with that kind of mentality you have one foot in, and one foot out the door. I’m not saying that there isn’t a time and place for exploring options, because there is. I am saying however, that if all you are doing is exploring options, and never committing to them, you are setting yourself up for guaranteed failure.

Shame on you if you are teaching your children the same method of operation. Live your life as you wish, but don’t rob your child of the pride and self satisfaction that comes from committing to something and following it through.

My wife and I have taken our children to their activities on days when they were kicking, screaming and even crying. We’ve taken them on days where we were tired, hungry, stressed out, and broke. We are non-negotiable. My kids know this. In our family it isn’t about being the best in as much as it is about finishing what you start. Being the best is a by-product of staying committed and putting in the work when others are “trying it out.”

If you make quitting an option, most children will opt in and develop a habit of not finishing what they start. If you make finishing the only option they know, they are less likely to head for the hills upon the first roadblock they hit.

I hope you enjoyed this piece may it bring more commitment and success to you and your children.

My name is Paul Argueta. I have been featured on the Inc 5000 list twice. I own a real estate brokerage and employ over 100 independent contractors as real estate agents. I am a huge sports nut and decided that I would find a way to combine sports with real estate. These days I assist Pro Athletes during their relocation process and even E-Sports gamers. I am happily married with 5 children. Balancing the pursuit of success while being a present husband and father is a challenge and my passion. You can reach me at https://www.facebook.com/talktopaulargueta.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

Published

on

Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
Image Credit: Midjourney

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

Continue Reading

Success Advice

What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)

Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

Published

on

leadership tips for new CEO
Image Credit: Midjourney

When Tim Cook took over from Steve Jobs at Apple, the world watched with bated breath. Jobs wasn’t just a CEO; he was a visionary, an icon, and a legend of innovative leadership. (more…)

Continue Reading

Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

Published

on

Bridging the gap between employees and employers
Image Credit: Midjourney

In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

Continue Reading

Entrepreneurs

What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

Inside the mindset of entrepreneurial leaders who transform risk, passion, and vision into world-changing results.

Published

on

entrepreneurial leadership skills and traits
Image Credit: Midjourney

When you think of Richard Branson (Virgin Group), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Rupert Murdoch (News Corporation), and Ted Turner (CNN), one thing becomes clear: they are not just entrepreneurs, they are entrepreneurial leaders. (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending