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The Art of Winning – How to Live All Possibilities of Life



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“Winning” – the word has a multitude of meanings.

To some, it may mean to be at the top in every sense, ahead of everyone; and to some, it may mean chasing perfection.

But what happens when you reach the “pinnacle” of Success?

How do you stay a winner when you’re already at the top, and there’s nowhere else to go? How do you maintain that winning streak that syncs your flow through life? And most importantly how do you reap the possibilities created through ‘The Winning’?

You and your organization, are most vulnerable when you are most successful.” – Robin Sharma, The Greatness Guide 

A real win is when you truly feel happy from within, and not vulnerable – Which can only happen when you can ‘Stop Worrying and Start Living.’

The art of winning lies in knowing how to build yourself to a level where you are capable of giving what you have gained to others. This translates to using the knowledge, experience, skills, or wealth you’ve gained to create better opportunities for others. 

You may question the need to create better opportunities for others. 

After all, when the win is yours, the opportunities should also be for you! 

So why give your gains to others?

Two friends were playing in a garden. One of them told the other about his collection of marbles. The other responded by telling the first about some homemade sweets in his possession.

The marble owner immediately suggested to the sweet owner that there be an exchange – marbles for sweets. The sweet owner agreed. 

The sweet owner went and packed all the sweets he had in a box and returned. Meanwhile, the marble owner kept some of the beautiful and bigger marbles at home and brought the remaining marbles for his friend. 

Both the friends exchanged their possessions and went back home.

However, that night, the sweet owner, who lost his sweets to win marbles slept peacefully. But the marble owner, who had the homemade sweets, as well as the beautiful and bigger marbles still in his possession, kept thinking about the exchange. 

He was wondering whether his friend had hidden some sweets like him. The whole night he kept thinking about it and lost sleep. 

To me, the winner in this situation, and others is the one who got a good night’s sleep with a clear conscience. Moreover, sleep is what keeps us charged and helps us win more battles in life. 

And if that statement sounds naïve and vague, then maybe these pointers will help illuminate the ‘Art of Winning’ further:

The Power of Thought 

You master the art of winning when you realize the power of your thoughts. It is however very difficult to manage thoughts, as they happen at the subtler level, therefore mind management becomes even more crucial. A mind is an amazing machine that can transform itself into any form per its dominant thought process.

Take for example how you embark on a new job search. First, you realize you do not like what you’re currently doing, followed almost immediately by the consideration that you could be doing something you like better instead. Continuing along these lines, you become convinced that you do need to find a new job, and then you begin an active search. 

Thoughts are powerful. Through regular meditation, you gradually learn to identify the relationship between thoughts and behavior. It helps in harnessing the power of your thoughts and allows you to grow into a better version of yourself. 

Living in Harmony 

There is an inexplicable thrill to winning, but it also brings along the fear of losing, and the result is your mind losing the peace. 

If you only think of winning in terms of defeating others, you may never be able to create harmony around you. But when you look at winning as a way to share your abundance, you can create an environment of harmony around. 

Think like a king, when you define “winning.” In ancient Hindu scriptures, kings were defined as compassionate and exalted. They were conceived as being above the competition, and thus beyond nominal ideas of winning. 

When you are beyond competition, there is no conflict. There is harmony around. 

So being compassionate and living in harmony is the second step towards learning the art of winning. 

Finding Your Rhythm

Apart from being compassionate, the other most important rule of harmony is finding your rhythm, which could easily translate to being confident in yourself. 

When you are a lover of wisdom, you automatically generate a feeling of confidence, strength, and awareness. 

Learning the art of winning is like American New Thought leader and teacher Christian D. Larson says:

“To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.” 

Being Before the Happening

A real victory cannot be savored unless you’ve consumed the bitter taste of defeat. And this can only happen when you are centered. 

You may feel overjoyed after winning a tournament or getting a big project, but that kind of joy may be short-lived if you lose focus. There is a singular kind of joy in being involved in events and activities and another kind of joy in solitary repose. 

If you can comprehend the space of being where both yes and no can simultaneously be right, you are privy to a whole new dimension of infinite possibilities.

The true art of winning is when you are awake and aware of this truth. 

The art of winning is a very personal thing. For some, it’s about the pursuit of happiness and finding joy in every moment; for others, success means following their passions to create something that has never been done before. There are as many ways to win in life, as people are living on this planet—but what we can all agree on is that when you find your rhythm and learn how-to live-in harmony with yourself, you will have won against any odds.

Sanjay Sehgal has been the Chairman, and CEO of the MSys Group, MSys Technologies since 2007. MSys Technologies is one of the most consistent and trusted companies for its product engineering services, and digital transformation projects for its ISV and Enterprise clientele. Get to know him at Sehgalnotes.

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The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance

Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.



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Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

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How to Find the Courage to Start New

Change is scary, but it’s a normal part of life.



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It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see?  (more…)

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Failing is More Important Than Succeeding

Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.



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People often consider failure a stigma.  Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life.  (more…)

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5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma



Emotional Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.

Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.

Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.

Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.

However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.


Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:


1.  Unconscious Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.

This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.

Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.

This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.


2. Persistent Pain

Chronic pain is a common symptom that can stem from early trauma. Studies have shown a connection between physical conditions such as fibromyalgia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, insomnia, muscle aches, back pain, chest pain, and chronic fatigue with the aftermath of chronic developmental trauma, particularly physical abuse.
Research has found that individuals with insecure attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, have a higher incidence of somatic symptoms and a history of physical and emotional abuse in childhood compared to those with a secure attachment style.

3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma

Trauma blocking practises are used to avoid the pain and memories connected with traumatic events.
Emotional numbing, avoidance, and escape via briefly pleasurable activities that distract from terrible memories or suffering are common examples. Unfortunately, this escape habit stops people from successfully processing and recovering from their trauma.
Furthermore, when the pain resurfaces, more and more diversions are necessary to continue ignoring it. This can be seen in compulsive behaviours such as drug or alcohol addiction, emotional eating, numbing oneself through relationships, workaholism, excessive or dangerous exercise routines, compulsive internet or technology use, or any other compulsive behaviour used to distract yoursef from intrusive thoughts and emotions.
These actions have the potential to prolong a cycle of avoidance and repression, preventing persons from healing and progressing.

4. A strong need for control

It’s understandable that some people may struggle with control issues in their adult lives, especially if they felt helpless or vulnerable during their childhood.
This can happen if someone had an overbearing caregiver who didn’t let them make their own choices, expected too much from them, or didn’t take care of them properly. As adults, they might try to control everything in their life to feel more in control and less anxious or scared. This might be because they didn’t feel like they had control over their life when they were a child.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are different and it’s okay to seek help if you’re struggling with control issues.

5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained

Individuals with a history of developmental trauma may experience a range of psychological symptoms, including obsessive-compulsive behavior, intense mood swings, irritability, anger, depression, emotional numbing, or severe anxiety.
These symptoms can vary in intensity and may occur intermittently throughout the day. People with this type of trauma may attempt to “distract” themselves from these symptoms by denying or rationalizing them, or may resort to substance abuse or behavioral addictions as coping mechanisms. This can be a maladaptive way of trying to numb their symptoms.

What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?

Everyone’s experience of healing from trauma is unique. It’s important to be aware of whether you have experienced childhood developmental trauma and how it may be affecting your relationships as an adult. Sometimes, the effects of trauma can be overwhelming and we may try to push them away or avoid them.
If you notice that you’re engaging in these behaviors, it’s important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can support you on your healing journey. Remember, you’re not alone and it’s never too late to start healing.

There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:

  1. Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
  2. Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
  3. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
  4. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
  5. Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.

It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.

If you desire to work with me on healing your wounds and unlocking the aspects of you that were never realized so you can achieve more success in your life then head over to and join my weekly LIVE online mentorship calls.
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