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3 Must-Haves For Increasing Your Self-Esteem

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must haves for success

Why are your successes never enough to outweigh the failure you fear and take so personally?

This fear has planted roots in your psyche and eroded your self-esteem. It cripples your thinking and overshadows everything you do.

What you and most people don’t understand is that success is personal.

Unless you make it personal, you’ll be stuck forever in the tracks your fear has laid down.

When I finally realized the biggest barrier to my success was me, I honestly didn’t know what to do.

For too many years, my success had depended on getting recognized for my contributions as I helped other people become successful. It took me a while to realize that my unquenchable need for their approval had screwed up my self-esteem.

Too bad I didn’t realize that before starting my own business.

Learning to Get Out of Your Own Way

It wasn’t just the business failure though – I had failed myself. Going to work for someone else again would have been another kind of failure.

I had to figure out how to move forward differently.

To do that, I had to accept failure as the great information provider it is, instead of a personal reflection of me.

In doing that I came to understand the personal nature of success.

The 3 Must-Haves I Discovered That Will Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

Because success is personal – you must get personal with yourself.

In building up my self-esteem, I had to rethink how I looked at myself. That’s what you’ll need to do too.

These exercises will have you becoming less outwardly focused, and more self-aware, in a good, non-obsessive way.

They are the necessary steps for changing your motivation from fear to one that will have you manifesting a success that is uniquely yours.

Must-Have #1: Good Control Over Your Inner Critic

No one is harder on you than you. One of the biggest barriers to your success is all the negative self-talk your inner critic inflicts on you.

It affects not only how you think about yourself (self-esteem), but also how you think about what you do (self-worth.)

Too much negativity and your inner critic harps on all your real or imagined failings. You need to get that ongoing barrage of abuse under control.

Controlling Your Inner Critic

How do you do it?

Ridicule.

Seriously, when your inner critic starts dumping on you:

  1. Turn it into a figure of fun.
  2. Laugh at it! Laugh at what it says about you.
  3. Imagine how ridiculous it looks, and take that look to the extreme.

I see my inner critic as a bulldog – with a bright pink ruff around its neck. Just picturing it shrinking down and sitting in one of those fancy little teacups makes me laugh.

Why does this work?

By taking control of your interactions with your inner critic, you’re stepping out of the role of being its victim. Taking control is a positive step that ups your self-esteem.

The more you interrupt your inner critic’s patterns of negativity, the easier it is to change what you think about yourself.

“To dream by night is to escape your life. To dream by day is to make it happen.” – Stephen Richards

 

Must-Have #2: Willingness to Embrace Your Weaknesses

Criticizing yourself for having weaknesses, over-compensating for them, or blaming them for your failures actually gets in the way of your success.

This must-have is about looking at them and yourself with compassion. Just believing you deserve such kindness is a great boost to your self-esteem.

Embracing Your Weaknesses

So what do you do?

Switch from a criticizing mindset to one that looks for improvements. Accept both your strengths and weaknesses.

This is how you start:

  1. Identify where you can make small changes that have a positive impact.
  2. Start by going for easy wins.
  3. Get the changes locked-in, and move onto the next ones.

When you disparage parts of yourself, you create internal conflicts and end up focusing on fixing the wrong things.

Why does this work?

There are three primary reasons why this works:

  1. Small changes add up and create larger impacts.
  2. One success builds on another.
  3. Doing positive things for yourself adds to your feelings of self-worth, and ups your self-esteem.

When I did this, I saw where I could make changes to my business model. The result? More opportunities for success, and more trust in myself.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun

 

Must-Have #3: An Old-Fashioned “Fly By The Seat of Your Pants” Attitude

The first planes were essentially physical extensions of the pilots. The actions the fliers took were limited, purposeful and focused on achieving the desired outcome.

There’s nothing like life or death situations for giving purpose and meaning to what you do.

What you need to have is the same attitude as the old-fashioned pilots. Don’t make a move that doesn’t have the express purpose of getting you one step closer to success.

Getting This Focused Attitude

How do you get it?

Start by answering this question: What do you value and how do you want to be manifesting, feeling, and expressing those values to the world?

Then expand your answer by completing these 3 steps:

  1. Identify your self-chosen ideals, the ones that resonate with you.
  2. Translate them to specific value statements for all areas of your life: family, health, financial, spiritual, community, etc.
  3. Determine what you want to manifest and express to the world about your values.

Taking this advice that comes from Jack Canfield helped me consolidate the changes I was making, and increased my focus.  Doing this work helps you build the foundation of your success.

the rock
 

Why does this work?

It’s about connecting the dots between your thinking, feelings, and beliefs. When you’re done, you have an integrated picture of who you are and clarity on what you value.

This is where success gets personal.

This is where you clearly define what success means to you.

This is where you get your ongoing motivation for manifesting your success.

How The 3 Must-Haves Work Together To Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

It takes a healthy self-esteem to put yourself out there in a way that is uniquely personal to you.

A mindset that looks for improvements helps you handle setbacks and failures, in a positive way.

The right attitude keeps the focus on what you value and how you express those values. It’s what pulls all the pieces together and gets everything you do pointing in the same direction.

When that happens, you know what advice to follow, what programs to use, and what steps to implement.

“The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.” – Denis Avey

This Is Your Personal Brand of Success

It’s all about you and how you’re expressing and manifesting what you want in your life.

It’s what I’m doing in mine. Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.

Having control over your life and your success in this way is enormously empowering – and more than worth all the effort.

Start at the beginning. Do all the exercises. Take a good look at what you value and how you want to express it.

That’s the success you want.

That’s the success you’ll create.

That’s the success you’ll drive right through the roof.

Here’s to your success!

 

A freelance writer and storyteller, Quinn takes what she learns about overcoming her challenges with panic and anxiety, and shares them to help other people create the success they want. Her website, OutsmartingPanicAndAnxiety.com, provides methods and techniques to help people deal with these two tyrants. You can pick up your free copy of her 10 Tips to Outsmart Anxiety (Whatever the Situation) by, clicking here.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Chris

    May 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m the same as the majority, the inner critic, I like the idea of giving a physical appearance that I can laugh at. But the best part I will take from this post is failure is a great information provider, i need to get over the mindset that failure is bad!

    You say, in your post, that “Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.” How long did it take working for yourself for you to come to this realisation?

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Chris!

      When I left corporate America, I left at the high-point of my working life, and left with a LOT of expectations of what I could do in my own business. I was on my second business failure, a start-up with another person. It ended badly, and that at the 2-1/2 years mark. Then it took another 6 months of a lot of internal work to get where I honestly felt I was living and expressing my values.

      And, I’ll be frank, I’m still refining them. Each action I decide to take because it’s what feels right, teaches me something new about myself, or opens my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed about myself, or brings me one step closer to understanding myself better.

      May your journey be all that you need it to be to find the happiness and contentment you desire.

      Quinn

  2. Kim

    May 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Love the inner critic idea, Quinn. I usually try positive affirmations and positive readings, but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m going to try this too as it’s always nice to have a number of things in one’s arsenal. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Kim,

      Totally agree about more tools in your arsenal being a good thing! It used to be I could just say to myself, “This too shall pass,” whenever I found myself being annoyed with someone, but that eventually wore thin. Now I just imagine the person in a teacup. LOL!

  3. Brad

    Apr 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I would extend farther on the inner critic, that its really a lack of balance and love, a falling out with your inner child, who’s retaliating from years of abuse and neglect. I find the more inner child work I do, guided meditations addressing my inner child, apologizing for moments of abuse…the more loving my inner critic is and the more driven and creative I become. Just my two cents 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Brad,

      I find your comment very interesting as I also do a lot of inner child work . . . and I hadn’t thought of a possible connection between the two, but am going to consider that.

      Thanks for your comments!

  4. Laurie

    Apr 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Love the idea of taking on my inner critic, quite a formidable foe. Thanks for all the great ideas.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 26, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Laurie,

      I love talking to mine while it sits in its teacup. Everything it barks at me comes out in a high, squeaky voice!

      Have you ever wondered what yours would look like sitting in a thimble?

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  5. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Great post, Quinn! My inner critic runs all over me, so I’m keen to try your suggestion and shame it away. Thanks 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Nicki!

      I figure that since our inner critics do all they can to shame us, turn-about is fair play!

      Best of luck with yours!

      Quinn

  6. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Fantastic post, Quinn! Way to go to show not only what holds us back, but also how to get over those obstacles. The “fly by the seat of your pants” attitude is something we definitely need to consciously cultivate. Especially in this age, where it’s easy to get distracted.
    Ok, enough time has been wasted reading stuff online. Off to do some real work! 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Debasish,

      Glad you liked the post, thanks for taking the time!

      Quinn

  7. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Quinn, Inner critic is my killer. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting Ann!

      Remember the Dreamworks movie Train Your Dragon? Dragons were killers too . . . but if a kid can train a dragon, then you’ve got all it takes to train your inner critic!

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  8. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Great tips Quinn. Number 2 resonates with me right now – but making sure I add the ‘with compassion’! Otherwise it’s just another way of being too hard on myself 😉

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Ellen, I’m glad something resonated with you!

      Here’s my not so secret mantra for being nice to myself: May I be filled with loving kindness; May I be held in loving kindness; May I realize loving kindness as my essence.

      May it work for you too!

      Quinn

  9. Rob

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Quinn, you’ve nailed it! All about taking self-control. We have the power!

    I laughed out loud when you said you saw your inner critic as a bulldog with a bright pink ruff around its neck!

    I’d like to work on mine.

    You’ve reminded me how personal success is as well as how anything we do in business is a reflection of our personalities and personal branding. It’s all about having the right approach and attitude, as you suggest.

    I particularly like your process for embracing our weaknesses. I would go further to say this isn’t something that happens over night but over time. In that respect, Jim Ryun’s quote is perfect.

    Thanks for the wisdom, laughter and reality check, Quinn.

    This is one of the posts that needs to be bookmarked for ongoing future reference and referral!

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Rob!

      I’m glad you like the Jim Ryun quote . . . and give full credit to the folks at A2S for having put it in! And they did a terrific job with the pictures too!

      As we’re all a work in progress, it’s good we can have some fun along the way too!

      Cheers!
      Quinn

  10. Andrea

    Apr 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Hi Quinn,

    Couldn’t agree more with you about ‘getting out of your way’! For so long, I’ve been waiting for some external factor to improve, so that my life would be finally on track. But since I’ve taken full responsibility for my own actions, I’m experiencing small wins almost every day. It’s hard, but I’d rather swallow some bitter pills now and then, than give power to the inner monster that keeps nagging away in the background…

    Great advice!
    Thanks

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      I hear you about the monster! Good idea to keep track of any wins, but especially the small ones as they do add up. I had a dream last night about voting – for myself and against myself. Made me think I should get some poker chips, a couple of jars and get a visual on which way my votes are going through the day.

      Keep up the good work!

  11. Helen McCarthy

    Apr 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks Quinn. Good tips. Believing we all deserve kindness (even from ourselves) is the key for me.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Helen! I’m glad you found value in tips. The one that resonated with you is key for me too!

      Best wishes!

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Success Advice

The Super Power Of Charisma – How You Can Adopt It For Yourself

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There’s this dude at the office. He’s fucking unstoppable.

His shit don’t stink and everything he touches turns to gold. At least that’s what I used to think.

Really, in reality, he’s just charismatic.

That’s how he got the cool job, the hot wifey and why everyone wants to be friends with him including me.

What does he do? Let’s delve a little deeper and discuss the eight things that lead to being charismatic:

 

1. Being confident baby!

This dude at work has swag. He backs himself even if he has no freaking idea what’s going to go down homey. In a business context, people that are confident are proven to be more trustworthy.

We trust confident people because it’s infectious. We want to work and be around confident people because it feels good. When something feels good, we do it, and do it lots!

My buddy at work walks into the room and people shake his hand because his presence changes the game. He also does these few things:

– He dresses confidently
– He pops his chest out just a fraction (not like the guy on the Bonds Singlet packet)
– He looks people in the eye

Out of these three, looking people in the eye is the hardest to do. To look into someone’s eye is the most vulnerable state you can put yourself in.

“The difference is that when you’re vulnerable, you connect with people better”

It also shows that you’ve got guts and allows you to enter their world. Okay, that’s wacky stuff and I may sound like I’ve read one too many “Power Of the Universe” type books. Take it or leave it chief.

 

2. Passion surrounds them. It pours out of their eyeballs!

Even the words I write demonstrate this. You can tell from everything I’m saying right now that passion pours out of me. I freaking love what I do and it shows even though you can’t see me or hear my voice. Okay, that’s a fraction creepy…enough about me.

This almighty bloke at work is charismatic because his values and beliefs are based on his passion. Passion is like a magnet according to science. When we see passion, it makes us start acting with more passion. You’re drawn to charisma in the same way because you want more of it.

There’s no point pretending you don’t like to be passionate because we all do. Sometimes, we just get lost and lose our passion for life or our career. That’s okay! None of us are perfect souls who don’t lose our way once in a while. I’m fucking lost more than I’m on track half the time.

Bottom-line: charismatic people are surrounded by passion. I don’t care if it’s collecting matchsticks or building sand castles – find something to get excited about and then show your passion for it.

 

3. They’re not vain: selfies are not their highest priority.

This charismatic chappy at work doesn’t spend half his days taking selfies of himself and then posting it on social media.

He doesn’t take photos of his food and then post it on social – he just eats it. He’d rather jump off a bridge than be a pretentious snob who’s insecure and has an inflated ego to compensate.

“The number one sign of a pretentious person vs a charismatic person is that they take credit for things they didn’t do”

Or they make things sound ten times bigger than they actually are in reality. Don’t fall for this trap young Indiana Jones. You’re better than that!

 

4. Expressing yourself through great stories

Storytelling is one of the many traits a charismatic person has. If you listen closely to their stories, you’ll notice they use strong phrases like “I know X to be true” instead of phrases like “I think,” or “I hope” which sounds weak.

Through stories, you can be: funny, vulnerable and share embarrassing moments. That’s what charismatic people do and they draw everyone in through their stories. As a side note, their stories don’t go on forever and they know how to get to the point.

Become a charismatic poet through stories about your experiences. Educate and inspire people around you and you’ll be acting charismatic by default.

 

5. Make other people feel comfortable around you

Not everyone is a hero and is comfortable being charismatic and confident. You can demonstrate charisma by learning to make others feel relaxed around you. Make other people the center of attention and let them feel special. There’s a subtle difference between charisma and hogging the conversation with your own bombastic, overpowering, unnecessary and selfish talk.

Back down; you’re not that big of a deal. Once you do that, you’ll have entered the universe of charisma.

 

6. A clear purpose and vision. In other words, they know why.

Part of what makes up the DNA of a charismatic person is their purpose or vision for their life. Quite simply, they know what they’re on this planet to do. They have a goal, it’s measurable, and they’ll stop at nothing until they achieve it.

To be in this state requires a certain sort of self-confidence that charismatic people have in spades. People seem to rally around a person who knows their purpose.

You can’t do anything and be motivated unless you know why. Without a why you’ll never build up enough momentum to reach any sort of peak performance. Mediocrity happens to us when we give up too easily. When we start a new pursuit for 4 weeks and then give up.

Map the seven seas of why you exist. Do a heap of self-reflection if you need to, to find this vision and bring it to the surface.

 

7. They look approachable

Most people look like they’re zombies when you walk past them and they almost look like they’re going to explode if you dare talk to them. That’s not charisma pal!

That unapproachable zombie look is called being scared, fearful and afraid due to a lack of self-awareness and a lack of self-improvement. It’s not the end of the world and it can be turned around.

The difference with charismatic people is one little, tiny thing: they smile. All you have to do is change one little thing – smile a bit more. Smiling is contagious and it makes people feel confident. It also makes you feel freaking amazing too!

 

8. They give more than anyone else and expect jack in return

This last one is the toughest trait of charismatic people. It sounds incredibly difficult and that’s because it is. We all have our own selfish desires that make us feel good, although only for a moment.

Charismatic people wow everyone around them by always going above and beyond to give. They either give time, money, knowledge or a listening ear to those who need it. The crazy, passionate, charismatic people even combine several of these to produce an outcome that can only be described as extraordinary.

Many of us do in fact give; the challenge is we expect something back. Worse, we even complain when we do an honorable act and get nothing in return. This is not how to play the game of life. This selfish behavior will make you very unhappy until you cut it the hell out!

“The secret to living is giving ” Tony Robbins

So let’s go over this one more time boss. To harness the superpower of giving that leads to charisma you must:

– Be prepared to give more than anybody else
– Expect nothing in return
– Ensure your own foolish and selfish desires are not front of mind every day

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

The Real Reason Why Your Dreams Don’t Become a Reality According to ‘The 10x Rule’ by Grant Cardone

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the 10x rule

Everyone has dreams. We all want to make something of ourselves yet it’s only a tiny percentage of people ever follow through. The self-help world encourages us to “Think Big”, “Follow Your Passions”, “Live as if there was no such thing as failure” and it usually just leads to keeping people stuck in a dream state, wishing, hoping and fantasizing yet never actually moving forward.

Why is this? Thinking big is just one part of the equation. This missing piece in the jigsaw is a bias towards massive action. Big Dreams + Little Action = disappointment and frustration.

Thinking and dreaming big must match with the equal and equivalent amount of action for it to go anywhere. When you combine big thinking with massive action you will be surprised at how much you are capable of, once you tap into the power of momentum.

What stops most people from achieving their goals?

I’ve been reading Grant Cardone’s “The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure” and in his view success comes from taking 10 times more action than you previously anticipated.

What stops most people from achieving a goal is underestimating the time, effort and energy involved in completing the project. They don’t spend enough time listing the steps required to succeed, the adversity they will need to overcome to push things through and the price they must pay to attain the goal.

If the number one sticking point in goal attainment is a lack of action then it’s obvious that the solution is in massive action. So what happens is they give up at the first sign of frustration or disappointment.

“Never reduce a target. Instead increase actions. When you start rethinking your targets, making up excuses, and letting yourself off the hook, you are giving up on your dreams.” – Grant Cardone

When I look back on my own life, anything I have ever achieved that was worthwhile did take an extraordinary amount of effort. Anytime I have ever coasted or done a “normal” amount of work, I would fall short of my target and feel the pain of frustration and disappointment which lead to reducing my targets.

In “The 10 X Rule” Cardone talks about his own failures in business and how he bounced back; “I committed to making this work by increasing my efforts 10 times. And as soon as I did that, everything started to change – immediately. I went back into the marketplace with the right estimation of effort and started seeing results. Instead of making two to three calls a day, I started doing 20 to 30

Most people fail only because they are operating at the wrong degree of action. There are 4 degrees of action which you can choose from:

  1. Do Nothing
  2. Retreat
  3. Take Normal Levels of Action
  4. Take Massive Action

At the “do nothing” level people are just accepting what comes their way. They are not pushing themselves or motivated to improve any area of their lives.

Retreaters are those who have taken action, experienced some setbacks or failures and retreated back into “doing nothing”. Examples of this include “Most businesses fail anyway so I am going to give up”, “Marriages aren’t working out these days so I will stay single”, “Businesses aren’t employing so I am going to file for unemployment benefit”.

The third degree is normal levels of action which is usually considered adequate. Grant says this is the most dangerous level where most people blend in, never stand out and thus never achieve the real success they wanted.

Lastly there is massive action which Cardone states is our most natural state. This is where you burst forth with 10 times the action you previously anticipated. “The goal is to be seen, thought of and considered – in one way or another. Your only problem is obscurity not talent”.

Obscurity is your only problem not talent. I like that. I am sure you all know someone who is less capable than you but experiencing much more success than you are. Why? Because they are more known and fearlessly putting themselves “out there”. So which degree of action are you taking currently? And will you commit to taking 10x action?

“Regardless of which degree of action you operate in, they all require work in their own way.” – Grant Cardone

So why not set your goals and actions higher than you ever imagined because it is highly likely you are not only underestimating the time, energy and effort involved in your endeavour, you are also likely underestimating your own capabilities and potential. Set high goals and never stop fighting.

Share with us one goal you have for 2017, and how you plan on achieving it. Comment below so we can see!

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Success Advice

My Thoughts On Money After Being Both Rich And Poor

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I’ve been in financial situations where I couldn’t even afford a pizza.

I know what it’s like to have more money than you can spend. I know what it’s like to see your goals turn into cold hard cash.

Through these two extremes of poverty and wealth, I’ve learned a thing or two about money.

 

Your mind constructs money

Whether you feel rich or not has to do with your mind.

You can have $100 in your bank account and feel like the richest guy or girl in California. How rich you feel comes down to your internal programming. If you practice being grateful, then you’ll find yourself believing that you are already rich. You can have all the money this world has to offer and still feel poor.

“The time I felt the poorest was when I had the most money, but zero meaning for my life”

I always felt at this time in my life like I needed more. I always felt I wasn’t enough. When I went through the whole personal development transformation phase of my life, all of a sudden, just having money to buy a hot chocolate felt amazing!

Be careful what the world tells you about money. You get to decide the difference between rich vs. poor. The money you have in your bank account doesn’t answer this question for you.

 

Meaning Vs. Money

When I discovered a meaning for my life, suddenly money wasn’t as important. The dumb thing was that money started to find its way into my life again without me focusing on it. People were attracted to the meaning I had created for my life which then bought me more abundance.

My advice to anyone reading this is to focus on finding out the meaning of your life. If you can’t figure it out, then create one. Think about who you admire and the meaning they have for their life, and create something similar for yourself.

If you want to inspire people, then do it.
If you want to create a business that gives back, then do it.
If you want to write blog posts like this one to help people in life, then do it.

During the time I had more money than I knew what to do with, I had no idea what I was put on this Earth to do. I would import widget A, make some money, import widget B, and then start all over again. I felt like a robot repeating a pattern. At the end of the process, I got another couple of zeroes in my bank account.

Those zeros on the screen of my Internet banking got very boring, very quickly.

As soon as I found something that lit me up and helped others, the focus on seeing more zero’s on my Internet banking screen disappeared.

 

Im not saying money doesn’t matter

If you just read that Tim Denning thinks money doesn’t matter, then you didn’t get me.

Money does matter, but it shouldn’t be your primary focus. Your primary focus should be finding meaning which will lead you to something that self-motivates you. This self-motivating activity can then be monetized to give you the resources you need to live like food, shelter and maybe a vacation once in a while.

What I want you to feel is that your focus is on something other than money.

“Having been both rich and poor, I’ve mostly felt nothing at both extremes”

 

Meaning can also be found in life’s simple pleasures

I remember the feeling I got from reading Unlimited Power.
I remember what it was like when I fell in love for the first time.
I remember how cool it was to go on my very first overseas holiday.

All of these memories gave me a meaning for my life and made me feel something. Each memory created a variety of emotions that I can still remember as I reminisce on these pastimes.

Meaning came to me through the simplest of pleasures. I didn’t need a million dollar Lamborghini to make me feel like I was on top of the world. Lying on a beach with friends spending no money gave me far more than I could ever imagine.

If you’d told me this five years ago, I would have called you a liar. Having been both rich and poor, I now understand what meaning money gives me: not much.

 

Final words on money…

Focus on who you can become. Find or create a meaning for your life than transcends money.

Go beyond what society tells you about money. Most of it is a lie. Money will not give you meaning or make you happy.

Only you can create happiness and meaning for yourself.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

5 Powerful Lessons About Success From Highly Successful Mentors

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successful mentors

We can’t help it. When we read an interview with a high flying, successful person, we secretly compare ourselves to them with our mind making little mental notes. Their lives seem perfect, and they seem so poised and confident. I wish I could be like that. Why do they seem to have it all, while I am struggling? When will things ever go my way?

For the longest time, I too believed in these popular myths of success, until I met several CEOs who became my mentors. When I asked each one of them what is the one biggest lesson they would like to share, their answers were unexpected, powerful and humbling.

These are the 5 powerful and humbling lessons they shared about success:

1. Nobody has Their Stuff Together

Just when you least expect it, an obstacle pops up, threatening to derail you from your goal. And sometimes, the bad news just keeps coming, which kicks you in the gut and you feel ready to give up. In comparison, successful people seem to be blazing trails of success. It almost seems unfair. While they appear to be picture perfect, where nothing can go wrong, the truth of it is this:

Nobody has their stuff together. We see these crowning moments of glory. But we don’t see the private, vulnerable moments behind the scenes. The sleepless nights worrying about what to do, where a series of wrong decisions resulted in people getting laid off. The endless meals alone in yet another soulless hotel room, with no one to share the burden with, because they don’t have the time to make a relationship work.

Obstacles and problems will always exist, no matter who you are. However, the challenges appearing to each of us is unique, and help us grow beyond the level we are at. A successful life is not about a lack of challenges, it’s about navigating and growing through the challenges so that we continue evolving to become the fullest potential of who we are.

2. Uncertainty Never Disappears

Brimming with confidence and well spoken, they always seem to know exactly what to say, and what to do in any situation. They seem to be the last people on earth to flail and feel vulnerable.

While on the surface they appear to be confident, the struggle with not knowing what to do plagues them as much as us. This can be the uncertainty of making a project work, because they have never done it before or lacking the necessary experience.

They can be worried that by taking this on, they might be biting off more than they can chew and experience massive failure and disastrous consequences. Nonetheless, the difference for them is despite their fears, they say yes and go ahead.

“Human spirit is the ability to face the uncertainty of the future with curiosity and optimism. It is the belief that problems can be solved, differences resolved. It is a type of confidence. And it is fragile. It can be blackened by fear and superstition.” – Bernard Beckett

3. Jump Before You Are Ready

Uncertainty and not knowing is a part of life. It never goes away. If you stay where you are, it feels safe and comfortable. But, it is a guarantee that you would not rise beyond where you are now if you don’t step out and make your move.

To take the leap of faith, your work through the uncertainty is the only way to grow. The fear of the unknown is not as scary as we make it out to be. All you have to do is to ask yourself “Do I believe I have what it takes to figure it out?” If your gut says yes, go for it.

4. It’s Not about External Motivation

Most successful people come with the traditional markers of success. Wealth. Status. A comfortable lifestyle. However, external motivation – the cars, the houses, the jewelry etc – can only motivate them so much.

Their motivation stems not from the outside – but from within themselves. It’s about their internal drive to be better thus building and expanding a grander vision of what they wish to create, and where they want to be.

That internal motivation is the driving force that pushes them through when things start to fall apart, because then it’s a battle within to overcome these setbacks and achieve their vision.

5. They Are Mental Ninja Masters

When everything that could go wrong, would go wrong, it’s natural to beat ourselves up. This negative feedback loop keeps replaying in our minds, and we start believing our negative self-talk, which threatens to spiral out of control and bring us down.

A few years ago, one of the CEOs I interviewed, Dave, was going through a particularly difficult time. Several major business deals fell through in quick succession. He emptied his life savings trying to keep things afloat, only for it to backfire and lost his life savings in the process.

He was faced with the real possibility of laying off hundreds of people at the company. Many lives were at stake here, and the pressure was on. He faltered, but only for a day.

He then rallied and continued to hustle. He hustled harder, stronger and faster than ever before. It was fascinating and impressive. What was his secret to bouncing back so fast from all the punches thrown at him?

He didn’t allow the negativity to control him. He controlled and directed his mind. Half the battle is with ourselves. We are often our own worst enemy with our negative self-talk.

Mastering control over your mind, instead of letting your mind control you is half the battle. Stop the negative self-talk when it happens. Redirect it towards positive action to achieve the outcome you desire.

“Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Ready For Your Next Step?

Success is not out of reach. All it takes is showing up each day and having the courage to take one small step towards the direction of your goals. Your new life of freedom and possibility awaits.

How will you make sure to achieve the success you are looking for? Please comment below and let us know!

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How to Build an Unstoppable Mindset According to These 5 Popular Entrepreneurs

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mental toughness

If you ask any of the top entrepreneurs, or any entrepreneur for that matter, they’ll tell you that the one quality you need to become successful is mental toughness. Becoming mentally tough is probably something you’ve already heard about before in your life. It’s something that seems easy, yet most people take it granted. They’d rather think about it than become it. (more…)

Trevor Oldham is a 19-year-old entrepreneur who’s had eleutheromania ever since he can remember. When he’s not working or studying, you can catch him by the ocean taking photos of the world in which surrounds us. Trevor is the co-founder of Become The Lion and founder of Trevor James Products.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Chris

    May 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m the same as the majority, the inner critic, I like the idea of giving a physical appearance that I can laugh at. But the best part I will take from this post is failure is a great information provider, i need to get over the mindset that failure is bad!

    You say, in your post, that “Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.” How long did it take working for yourself for you to come to this realisation?

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Chris!

      When I left corporate America, I left at the high-point of my working life, and left with a LOT of expectations of what I could do in my own business. I was on my second business failure, a start-up with another person. It ended badly, and that at the 2-1/2 years mark. Then it took another 6 months of a lot of internal work to get where I honestly felt I was living and expressing my values.

      And, I’ll be frank, I’m still refining them. Each action I decide to take because it’s what feels right, teaches me something new about myself, or opens my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed about myself, or brings me one step closer to understanding myself better.

      May your journey be all that you need it to be to find the happiness and contentment you desire.

      Quinn

  2. Kim

    May 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Love the inner critic idea, Quinn. I usually try positive affirmations and positive readings, but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m going to try this too as it’s always nice to have a number of things in one’s arsenal. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Kim,

      Totally agree about more tools in your arsenal being a good thing! It used to be I could just say to myself, “This too shall pass,” whenever I found myself being annoyed with someone, but that eventually wore thin. Now I just imagine the person in a teacup. LOL!

  3. Brad

    Apr 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I would extend farther on the inner critic, that its really a lack of balance and love, a falling out with your inner child, who’s retaliating from years of abuse and neglect. I find the more inner child work I do, guided meditations addressing my inner child, apologizing for moments of abuse…the more loving my inner critic is and the more driven and creative I become. Just my two cents 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Brad,

      I find your comment very interesting as I also do a lot of inner child work . . . and I hadn’t thought of a possible connection between the two, but am going to consider that.

      Thanks for your comments!

  4. Laurie

    Apr 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Love the idea of taking on my inner critic, quite a formidable foe. Thanks for all the great ideas.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 26, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Laurie,

      I love talking to mine while it sits in its teacup. Everything it barks at me comes out in a high, squeaky voice!

      Have you ever wondered what yours would look like sitting in a thimble?

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  5. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Great post, Quinn! My inner critic runs all over me, so I’m keen to try your suggestion and shame it away. Thanks 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Nicki!

      I figure that since our inner critics do all they can to shame us, turn-about is fair play!

      Best of luck with yours!

      Quinn

  6. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Fantastic post, Quinn! Way to go to show not only what holds us back, but also how to get over those obstacles. The “fly by the seat of your pants” attitude is something we definitely need to consciously cultivate. Especially in this age, where it’s easy to get distracted.
    Ok, enough time has been wasted reading stuff online. Off to do some real work! 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Debasish,

      Glad you liked the post, thanks for taking the time!

      Quinn

  7. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Quinn, Inner critic is my killer. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting Ann!

      Remember the Dreamworks movie Train Your Dragon? Dragons were killers too . . . but if a kid can train a dragon, then you’ve got all it takes to train your inner critic!

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  8. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Great tips Quinn. Number 2 resonates with me right now – but making sure I add the ‘with compassion’! Otherwise it’s just another way of being too hard on myself 😉

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Ellen, I’m glad something resonated with you!

      Here’s my not so secret mantra for being nice to myself: May I be filled with loving kindness; May I be held in loving kindness; May I realize loving kindness as my essence.

      May it work for you too!

      Quinn

  9. Rob

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Quinn, you’ve nailed it! All about taking self-control. We have the power!

    I laughed out loud when you said you saw your inner critic as a bulldog with a bright pink ruff around its neck!

    I’d like to work on mine.

    You’ve reminded me how personal success is as well as how anything we do in business is a reflection of our personalities and personal branding. It’s all about having the right approach and attitude, as you suggest.

    I particularly like your process for embracing our weaknesses. I would go further to say this isn’t something that happens over night but over time. In that respect, Jim Ryun’s quote is perfect.

    Thanks for the wisdom, laughter and reality check, Quinn.

    This is one of the posts that needs to be bookmarked for ongoing future reference and referral!

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Rob!

      I’m glad you like the Jim Ryun quote . . . and give full credit to the folks at A2S for having put it in! And they did a terrific job with the pictures too!

      As we’re all a work in progress, it’s good we can have some fun along the way too!

      Cheers!
      Quinn

  10. Andrea

    Apr 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Hi Quinn,

    Couldn’t agree more with you about ‘getting out of your way’! For so long, I’ve been waiting for some external factor to improve, so that my life would be finally on track. But since I’ve taken full responsibility for my own actions, I’m experiencing small wins almost every day. It’s hard, but I’d rather swallow some bitter pills now and then, than give power to the inner monster that keeps nagging away in the background…

    Great advice!
    Thanks

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      I hear you about the monster! Good idea to keep track of any wins, but especially the small ones as they do add up. I had a dream last night about voting – for myself and against myself. Made me think I should get some poker chips, a couple of jars and get a visual on which way my votes are going through the day.

      Keep up the good work!

  11. Helen McCarthy

    Apr 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks Quinn. Good tips. Believing we all deserve kindness (even from ourselves) is the key for me.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Helen! I’m glad you found value in tips. The one that resonated with you is key for me too!

      Best wishes!

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Success Advice

The Super Power Of Charisma – How You Can Adopt It For Yourself

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There’s this dude at the office. He’s fucking unstoppable.

His shit don’t stink and everything he touches turns to gold. At least that’s what I used to think.

Really, in reality, he’s just charismatic.

That’s how he got the cool job, the hot wifey and why everyone wants to be friends with him including me.

What does he do? Let’s delve a little deeper and discuss the eight things that lead to being charismatic:

 

1. Being confident baby!

This dude at work has swag. He backs himself even if he has no freaking idea what’s going to go down homey. In a business context, people that are confident are proven to be more trustworthy.

We trust confident people because it’s infectious. We want to work and be around confident people because it feels good. When something feels good, we do it, and do it lots!

My buddy at work walks into the room and people shake his hand because his presence changes the game. He also does these few things:

– He dresses confidently
– He pops his chest out just a fraction (not like the guy on the Bonds Singlet packet)
– He looks people in the eye

Out of these three, looking people in the eye is the hardest to do. To look into someone’s eye is the most vulnerable state you can put yourself in.

“The difference is that when you’re vulnerable, you connect with people better”

It also shows that you’ve got guts and allows you to enter their world. Okay, that’s wacky stuff and I may sound like I’ve read one too many “Power Of the Universe” type books. Take it or leave it chief.

 

2. Passion surrounds them. It pours out of their eyeballs!

Even the words I write demonstrate this. You can tell from everything I’m saying right now that passion pours out of me. I freaking love what I do and it shows even though you can’t see me or hear my voice. Okay, that’s a fraction creepy…enough about me.

This almighty bloke at work is charismatic because his values and beliefs are based on his passion. Passion is like a magnet according to science. When we see passion, it makes us start acting with more passion. You’re drawn to charisma in the same way because you want more of it.

There’s no point pretending you don’t like to be passionate because we all do. Sometimes, we just get lost and lose our passion for life or our career. That’s okay! None of us are perfect souls who don’t lose our way once in a while. I’m fucking lost more than I’m on track half the time.

Bottom-line: charismatic people are surrounded by passion. I don’t care if it’s collecting matchsticks or building sand castles – find something to get excited about and then show your passion for it.

 

3. They’re not vain: selfies are not their highest priority.

This charismatic chappy at work doesn’t spend half his days taking selfies of himself and then posting it on social media.

He doesn’t take photos of his food and then post it on social – he just eats it. He’d rather jump off a bridge than be a pretentious snob who’s insecure and has an inflated ego to compensate.

“The number one sign of a pretentious person vs a charismatic person is that they take credit for things they didn’t do”

Or they make things sound ten times bigger than they actually are in reality. Don’t fall for this trap young Indiana Jones. You’re better than that!

 

4. Expressing yourself through great stories

Storytelling is one of the many traits a charismatic person has. If you listen closely to their stories, you’ll notice they use strong phrases like “I know X to be true” instead of phrases like “I think,” or “I hope” which sounds weak.

Through stories, you can be: funny, vulnerable and share embarrassing moments. That’s what charismatic people do and they draw everyone in through their stories. As a side note, their stories don’t go on forever and they know how to get to the point.

Become a charismatic poet through stories about your experiences. Educate and inspire people around you and you’ll be acting charismatic by default.

 

5. Make other people feel comfortable around you

Not everyone is a hero and is comfortable being charismatic and confident. You can demonstrate charisma by learning to make others feel relaxed around you. Make other people the center of attention and let them feel special. There’s a subtle difference between charisma and hogging the conversation with your own bombastic, overpowering, unnecessary and selfish talk.

Back down; you’re not that big of a deal. Once you do that, you’ll have entered the universe of charisma.

 

6. A clear purpose and vision. In other words, they know why.

Part of what makes up the DNA of a charismatic person is their purpose or vision for their life. Quite simply, they know what they’re on this planet to do. They have a goal, it’s measurable, and they’ll stop at nothing until they achieve it.

To be in this state requires a certain sort of self-confidence that charismatic people have in spades. People seem to rally around a person who knows their purpose.

You can’t do anything and be motivated unless you know why. Without a why you’ll never build up enough momentum to reach any sort of peak performance. Mediocrity happens to us when we give up too easily. When we start a new pursuit for 4 weeks and then give up.

Map the seven seas of why you exist. Do a heap of self-reflection if you need to, to find this vision and bring it to the surface.

 

7. They look approachable

Most people look like they’re zombies when you walk past them and they almost look like they’re going to explode if you dare talk to them. That’s not charisma pal!

That unapproachable zombie look is called being scared, fearful and afraid due to a lack of self-awareness and a lack of self-improvement. It’s not the end of the world and it can be turned around.

The difference with charismatic people is one little, tiny thing: they smile. All you have to do is change one little thing – smile a bit more. Smiling is contagious and it makes people feel confident. It also makes you feel freaking amazing too!

 

8. They give more than anyone else and expect jack in return

This last one is the toughest trait of charismatic people. It sounds incredibly difficult and that’s because it is. We all have our own selfish desires that make us feel good, although only for a moment.

Charismatic people wow everyone around them by always going above and beyond to give. They either give time, money, knowledge or a listening ear to those who need it. The crazy, passionate, charismatic people even combine several of these to produce an outcome that can only be described as extraordinary.

Many of us do in fact give; the challenge is we expect something back. Worse, we even complain when we do an honorable act and get nothing in return. This is not how to play the game of life. This selfish behavior will make you very unhappy until you cut it the hell out!

“The secret to living is giving ” Tony Robbins

So let’s go over this one more time boss. To harness the superpower of giving that leads to charisma you must:

– Be prepared to give more than anybody else
– Expect nothing in return
– Ensure your own foolish and selfish desires are not front of mind every day

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

The Real Reason Why Your Dreams Don’t Become a Reality According to ‘The 10x Rule’ by Grant Cardone

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the 10x rule

Everyone has dreams. We all want to make something of ourselves yet it’s only a tiny percentage of people ever follow through. The self-help world encourages us to “Think Big”, “Follow Your Passions”, “Live as if there was no such thing as failure” and it usually just leads to keeping people stuck in a dream state, wishing, hoping and fantasizing yet never actually moving forward.

Why is this? Thinking big is just one part of the equation. This missing piece in the jigsaw is a bias towards massive action. Big Dreams + Little Action = disappointment and frustration.

Thinking and dreaming big must match with the equal and equivalent amount of action for it to go anywhere. When you combine big thinking with massive action you will be surprised at how much you are capable of, once you tap into the power of momentum.

What stops most people from achieving their goals?

I’ve been reading Grant Cardone’s “The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure” and in his view success comes from taking 10 times more action than you previously anticipated.

What stops most people from achieving a goal is underestimating the time, effort and energy involved in completing the project. They don’t spend enough time listing the steps required to succeed, the adversity they will need to overcome to push things through and the price they must pay to attain the goal.

If the number one sticking point in goal attainment is a lack of action then it’s obvious that the solution is in massive action. So what happens is they give up at the first sign of frustration or disappointment.

“Never reduce a target. Instead increase actions. When you start rethinking your targets, making up excuses, and letting yourself off the hook, you are giving up on your dreams.” – Grant Cardone

When I look back on my own life, anything I have ever achieved that was worthwhile did take an extraordinary amount of effort. Anytime I have ever coasted or done a “normal” amount of work, I would fall short of my target and feel the pain of frustration and disappointment which lead to reducing my targets.

In “The 10 X Rule” Cardone talks about his own failures in business and how he bounced back; “I committed to making this work by increasing my efforts 10 times. And as soon as I did that, everything started to change – immediately. I went back into the marketplace with the right estimation of effort and started seeing results. Instead of making two to three calls a day, I started doing 20 to 30

Most people fail only because they are operating at the wrong degree of action. There are 4 degrees of action which you can choose from:

  1. Do Nothing
  2. Retreat
  3. Take Normal Levels of Action
  4. Take Massive Action

At the “do nothing” level people are just accepting what comes their way. They are not pushing themselves or motivated to improve any area of their lives.

Retreaters are those who have taken action, experienced some setbacks or failures and retreated back into “doing nothing”. Examples of this include “Most businesses fail anyway so I am going to give up”, “Marriages aren’t working out these days so I will stay single”, “Businesses aren’t employing so I am going to file for unemployment benefit”.

The third degree is normal levels of action which is usually considered adequate. Grant says this is the most dangerous level where most people blend in, never stand out and thus never achieve the real success they wanted.

Lastly there is massive action which Cardone states is our most natural state. This is where you burst forth with 10 times the action you previously anticipated. “The goal is to be seen, thought of and considered – in one way or another. Your only problem is obscurity not talent”.

Obscurity is your only problem not talent. I like that. I am sure you all know someone who is less capable than you but experiencing much more success than you are. Why? Because they are more known and fearlessly putting themselves “out there”. So which degree of action are you taking currently? And will you commit to taking 10x action?

“Regardless of which degree of action you operate in, they all require work in their own way.” – Grant Cardone

So why not set your goals and actions higher than you ever imagined because it is highly likely you are not only underestimating the time, energy and effort involved in your endeavour, you are also likely underestimating your own capabilities and potential. Set high goals and never stop fighting.

Share with us one goal you have for 2017, and how you plan on achieving it. Comment below so we can see!

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Success Advice

My Thoughts On Money After Being Both Rich And Poor

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I’ve been in financial situations where I couldn’t even afford a pizza.

I know what it’s like to have more money than you can spend. I know what it’s like to see your goals turn into cold hard cash.

Through these two extremes of poverty and wealth, I’ve learned a thing or two about money.

 

Your mind constructs money

Whether you feel rich or not has to do with your mind.

You can have $100 in your bank account and feel like the richest guy or girl in California. How rich you feel comes down to your internal programming. If you practice being grateful, then you’ll find yourself believing that you are already rich. You can have all the money this world has to offer and still feel poor.

“The time I felt the poorest was when I had the most money, but zero meaning for my life”

I always felt at this time in my life like I needed more. I always felt I wasn’t enough. When I went through the whole personal development transformation phase of my life, all of a sudden, just having money to buy a hot chocolate felt amazing!

Be careful what the world tells you about money. You get to decide the difference between rich vs. poor. The money you have in your bank account doesn’t answer this question for you.

 

Meaning Vs. Money

When I discovered a meaning for my life, suddenly money wasn’t as important. The dumb thing was that money started to find its way into my life again without me focusing on it. People were attracted to the meaning I had created for my life which then bought me more abundance.

My advice to anyone reading this is to focus on finding out the meaning of your life. If you can’t figure it out, then create one. Think about who you admire and the meaning they have for their life, and create something similar for yourself.

If you want to inspire people, then do it.
If you want to create a business that gives back, then do it.
If you want to write blog posts like this one to help people in life, then do it.

During the time I had more money than I knew what to do with, I had no idea what I was put on this Earth to do. I would import widget A, make some money, import widget B, and then start all over again. I felt like a robot repeating a pattern. At the end of the process, I got another couple of zeroes in my bank account.

Those zeros on the screen of my Internet banking got very boring, very quickly.

As soon as I found something that lit me up and helped others, the focus on seeing more zero’s on my Internet banking screen disappeared.

 

Im not saying money doesn’t matter

If you just read that Tim Denning thinks money doesn’t matter, then you didn’t get me.

Money does matter, but it shouldn’t be your primary focus. Your primary focus should be finding meaning which will lead you to something that self-motivates you. This self-motivating activity can then be monetized to give you the resources you need to live like food, shelter and maybe a vacation once in a while.

What I want you to feel is that your focus is on something other than money.

“Having been both rich and poor, I’ve mostly felt nothing at both extremes”

 

Meaning can also be found in life’s simple pleasures

I remember the feeling I got from reading Unlimited Power.
I remember what it was like when I fell in love for the first time.
I remember how cool it was to go on my very first overseas holiday.

All of these memories gave me a meaning for my life and made me feel something. Each memory created a variety of emotions that I can still remember as I reminisce on these pastimes.

Meaning came to me through the simplest of pleasures. I didn’t need a million dollar Lamborghini to make me feel like I was on top of the world. Lying on a beach with friends spending no money gave me far more than I could ever imagine.

If you’d told me this five years ago, I would have called you a liar. Having been both rich and poor, I now understand what meaning money gives me: not much.

 

Final words on money…

Focus on who you can become. Find or create a meaning for your life than transcends money.

Go beyond what society tells you about money. Most of it is a lie. Money will not give you meaning or make you happy.

Only you can create happiness and meaning for yourself.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

5 Powerful Lessons About Success From Highly Successful Mentors

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successful mentors

We can’t help it. When we read an interview with a high flying, successful person, we secretly compare ourselves to them with our mind making little mental notes. Their lives seem perfect, and they seem so poised and confident. I wish I could be like that. Why do they seem to have it all, while I am struggling? When will things ever go my way?

For the longest time, I too believed in these popular myths of success, until I met several CEOs who became my mentors. When I asked each one of them what is the one biggest lesson they would like to share, their answers were unexpected, powerful and humbling.

These are the 5 powerful and humbling lessons they shared about success:

1. Nobody has Their Stuff Together

Just when you least expect it, an obstacle pops up, threatening to derail you from your goal. And sometimes, the bad news just keeps coming, which kicks you in the gut and you feel ready to give up. In comparison, successful people seem to be blazing trails of success. It almost seems unfair. While they appear to be picture perfect, where nothing can go wrong, the truth of it is this:

Nobody has their stuff together. We see these crowning moments of glory. But we don’t see the private, vulnerable moments behind the scenes. The sleepless nights worrying about what to do, where a series of wrong decisions resulted in people getting laid off. The endless meals alone in yet another soulless hotel room, with no one to share the burden with, because they don’t have the time to make a relationship work.

Obstacles and problems will always exist, no matter who you are. However, the challenges appearing to each of us is unique, and help us grow beyond the level we are at. A successful life is not about a lack of challenges, it’s about navigating and growing through the challenges so that we continue evolving to become the fullest potential of who we are.

2. Uncertainty Never Disappears

Brimming with confidence and well spoken, they always seem to know exactly what to say, and what to do in any situation. They seem to be the last people on earth to flail and feel vulnerable.

While on the surface they appear to be confident, the struggle with not knowing what to do plagues them as much as us. This can be the uncertainty of making a project work, because they have never done it before or lacking the necessary experience.

They can be worried that by taking this on, they might be biting off more than they can chew and experience massive failure and disastrous consequences. Nonetheless, the difference for them is despite their fears, they say yes and go ahead.

“Human spirit is the ability to face the uncertainty of the future with curiosity and optimism. It is the belief that problems can be solved, differences resolved. It is a type of confidence. And it is fragile. It can be blackened by fear and superstition.” – Bernard Beckett

3. Jump Before You Are Ready

Uncertainty and not knowing is a part of life. It never goes away. If you stay where you are, it feels safe and comfortable. But, it is a guarantee that you would not rise beyond where you are now if you don’t step out and make your move.

To take the leap of faith, your work through the uncertainty is the only way to grow. The fear of the unknown is not as scary as we make it out to be. All you have to do is to ask yourself “Do I believe I have what it takes to figure it out?” If your gut says yes, go for it.

4. It’s Not about External Motivation

Most successful people come with the traditional markers of success. Wealth. Status. A comfortable lifestyle. However, external motivation – the cars, the houses, the jewelry etc – can only motivate them so much.

Their motivation stems not from the outside – but from within themselves. It’s about their internal drive to be better thus building and expanding a grander vision of what they wish to create, and where they want to be.

That internal motivation is the driving force that pushes them through when things start to fall apart, because then it’s a battle within to overcome these setbacks and achieve their vision.

5. They Are Mental Ninja Masters

When everything that could go wrong, would go wrong, it’s natural to beat ourselves up. This negative feedback loop keeps replaying in our minds, and we start believing our negative self-talk, which threatens to spiral out of control and bring us down.

A few years ago, one of the CEOs I interviewed, Dave, was going through a particularly difficult time. Several major business deals fell through in quick succession. He emptied his life savings trying to keep things afloat, only for it to backfire and lost his life savings in the process.

He was faced with the real possibility of laying off hundreds of people at the company. Many lives were at stake here, and the pressure was on. He faltered, but only for a day.

He then rallied and continued to hustle. He hustled harder, stronger and faster than ever before. It was fascinating and impressive. What was his secret to bouncing back so fast from all the punches thrown at him?

He didn’t allow the negativity to control him. He controlled and directed his mind. Half the battle is with ourselves. We are often our own worst enemy with our negative self-talk.

Mastering control over your mind, instead of letting your mind control you is half the battle. Stop the negative self-talk when it happens. Redirect it towards positive action to achieve the outcome you desire.

“Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Ready For Your Next Step?

Success is not out of reach. All it takes is showing up each day and having the courage to take one small step towards the direction of your goals. Your new life of freedom and possibility awaits.

How will you make sure to achieve the success you are looking for? Please comment below and let us know!

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