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3 Must-Haves For Increasing Your Self-Esteem

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must haves for success

Why are your successes never enough to outweigh the failure you fear and take so personally?

This fear has planted roots in your psyche and eroded your self-esteem. It cripples your thinking and overshadows everything you do.

What you and most people don’t understand is that success is personal.

Unless you make it personal, you’ll be stuck forever in the tracks your fear has laid down.

When I finally realized the biggest barrier to my success was me, I honestly didn’t know what to do.

For too many years, my success had depended on getting recognized for my contributions as I helped other people become successful. It took me a while to realize that my unquenchable need for their approval had screwed up my self-esteem.

Too bad I didn’t realize that before starting my own business.

Learning to Get Out of Your Own Way

It wasn’t just the business failure though – I had failed myself. Going to work for someone else again would have been another kind of failure.

I had to figure out how to move forward differently.

To do that, I had to accept failure as the great information provider it is, instead of a personal reflection of me.

In doing that I came to understand the personal nature of success.

The 3 Must-Haves I Discovered That Will Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

Because success is personal – you must get personal with yourself.

In building up my self-esteem, I had to rethink how I looked at myself. That’s what you’ll need to do too.

These exercises will have you becoming less outwardly focused, and more self-aware, in a good, non-obsessive way.

They are the necessary steps for changing your motivation from fear to one that will have you manifesting a success that is uniquely yours.

Must-Have #1: Good Control Over Your Inner Critic

No one is harder on you than you. One of the biggest barriers to your success is all the negative self-talk your inner critic inflicts on you.

It affects not only how you think about yourself (self-esteem), but also how you think about what you do (self-worth.)

Too much negativity and your inner critic harps on all your real or imagined failings. You need to get that ongoing barrage of abuse under control.

Controlling Your Inner Critic

How do you do it?

Ridicule.

Seriously, when your inner critic starts dumping on you:

  1. Turn it into a figure of fun.
  2. Laugh at it! Laugh at what it says about you.
  3. Imagine how ridiculous it looks, and take that look to the extreme.

I see my inner critic as a bulldog – with a bright pink ruff around its neck. Just picturing it shrinking down and sitting in one of those fancy little teacups makes me laugh.

Why does this work?

By taking control of your interactions with your inner critic, you’re stepping out of the role of being its victim. Taking control is a positive step that ups your self-esteem.

The more you interrupt your inner critic’s patterns of negativity, the easier it is to change what you think about yourself.

“To dream by night is to escape your life. To dream by day is to make it happen.” – Stephen Richards

 

Must-Have #2: Willingness to Embrace Your Weaknesses

Criticizing yourself for having weaknesses, over-compensating for them, or blaming them for your failures actually gets in the way of your success.

This must-have is about looking at them and yourself with compassion. Just believing you deserve such kindness is a great boost to your self-esteem.

Embracing Your Weaknesses

So what do you do?

Switch from a criticizing mindset to one that looks for improvements. Accept both your strengths and weaknesses.

This is how you start:

  1. Identify where you can make small changes that have a positive impact.
  2. Start by going for easy wins.
  3. Get the changes locked-in, and move onto the next ones.

When you disparage parts of yourself, you create internal conflicts and end up focusing on fixing the wrong things.

Why does this work?

There are three primary reasons why this works:

  1. Small changes add up and create larger impacts.
  2. One success builds on another.
  3. Doing positive things for yourself adds to your feelings of self-worth, and ups your self-esteem.

When I did this, I saw where I could make changes to my business model. The result? More opportunities for success, and more trust in myself.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun

 

Must-Have #3: An Old-Fashioned “Fly By The Seat of Your Pants” Attitude

The first planes were essentially physical extensions of the pilots. The actions the fliers took were limited, purposeful and focused on achieving the desired outcome.

There’s nothing like life or death situations for giving purpose and meaning to what you do.

What you need to have is the same attitude as the old-fashioned pilots. Don’t make a move that doesn’t have the express purpose of getting you one step closer to success.

Getting This Focused Attitude

How do you get it?

Start by answering this question: What do you value and how do you want to be manifesting, feeling, and expressing those values to the world?

Then expand your answer by completing these 3 steps:

  1. Identify your self-chosen ideals, the ones that resonate with you.
  2. Translate them to specific value statements for all areas of your life: family, health, financial, spiritual, community, etc.
  3. Determine what you want to manifest and express to the world about your values.

Taking this advice that comes from Jack Canfield helped me consolidate the changes I was making, and increased my focus.  Doing this work helps you build the foundation of your success.

the rock
 

Why does this work?

It’s about connecting the dots between your thinking, feelings, and beliefs. When you’re done, you have an integrated picture of who you are and clarity on what you value.

This is where success gets personal.

This is where you clearly define what success means to you.

This is where you get your ongoing motivation for manifesting your success.

How The 3 Must-Haves Work Together To Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

It takes a healthy self-esteem to put yourself out there in a way that is uniquely personal to you.

A mindset that looks for improvements helps you handle setbacks and failures, in a positive way.

The right attitude keeps the focus on what you value and how you express those values. It’s what pulls all the pieces together and gets everything you do pointing in the same direction.

When that happens, you know what advice to follow, what programs to use, and what steps to implement.

“The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.” – Denis Avey

This Is Your Personal Brand of Success

It’s all about you and how you’re expressing and manifesting what you want in your life.

It’s what I’m doing in mine. Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.

Having control over your life and your success in this way is enormously empowering – and more than worth all the effort.

Start at the beginning. Do all the exercises. Take a good look at what you value and how you want to express it.

That’s the success you want.

That’s the success you’ll create.

That’s the success you’ll drive right through the roof.

Here’s to your success!

 

A freelance writer and storyteller, Quinn takes what she learns about overcoming her challenges with panic and anxiety, and shares them to help other people create the success they want. Her website, OutsmartingPanicAndAnxiety.com, provides methods and techniques to help people deal with these two tyrants. You can pick up your free copy of her 10 Tips to Outsmart Anxiety (Whatever the Situation) by, clicking here.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Chris

    May 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m the same as the majority, the inner critic, I like the idea of giving a physical appearance that I can laugh at. But the best part I will take from this post is failure is a great information provider, i need to get over the mindset that failure is bad!

    You say, in your post, that “Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.” How long did it take working for yourself for you to come to this realisation?

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Chris!

      When I left corporate America, I left at the high-point of my working life, and left with a LOT of expectations of what I could do in my own business. I was on my second business failure, a start-up with another person. It ended badly, and that at the 2-1/2 years mark. Then it took another 6 months of a lot of internal work to get where I honestly felt I was living and expressing my values.

      And, I’ll be frank, I’m still refining them. Each action I decide to take because it’s what feels right, teaches me something new about myself, or opens my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed about myself, or brings me one step closer to understanding myself better.

      May your journey be all that you need it to be to find the happiness and contentment you desire.

      Quinn

  2. Kim

    May 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Love the inner critic idea, Quinn. I usually try positive affirmations and positive readings, but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m going to try this too as it’s always nice to have a number of things in one’s arsenal. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Kim,

      Totally agree about more tools in your arsenal being a good thing! It used to be I could just say to myself, “This too shall pass,” whenever I found myself being annoyed with someone, but that eventually wore thin. Now I just imagine the person in a teacup. LOL!

  3. Brad

    Apr 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I would extend farther on the inner critic, that its really a lack of balance and love, a falling out with your inner child, who’s retaliating from years of abuse and neglect. I find the more inner child work I do, guided meditations addressing my inner child, apologizing for moments of abuse…the more loving my inner critic is and the more driven and creative I become. Just my two cents 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Brad,

      I find your comment very interesting as I also do a lot of inner child work . . . and I hadn’t thought of a possible connection between the two, but am going to consider that.

      Thanks for your comments!

  4. Laurie

    Apr 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Love the idea of taking on my inner critic, quite a formidable foe. Thanks for all the great ideas.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 26, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Laurie,

      I love talking to mine while it sits in its teacup. Everything it barks at me comes out in a high, squeaky voice!

      Have you ever wondered what yours would look like sitting in a thimble?

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  5. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Great post, Quinn! My inner critic runs all over me, so I’m keen to try your suggestion and shame it away. Thanks 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Nicki!

      I figure that since our inner critics do all they can to shame us, turn-about is fair play!

      Best of luck with yours!

      Quinn

  6. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Fantastic post, Quinn! Way to go to show not only what holds us back, but also how to get over those obstacles. The “fly by the seat of your pants” attitude is something we definitely need to consciously cultivate. Especially in this age, where it’s easy to get distracted.
    Ok, enough time has been wasted reading stuff online. Off to do some real work! 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Debasish,

      Glad you liked the post, thanks for taking the time!

      Quinn

  7. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Quinn, Inner critic is my killer. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting Ann!

      Remember the Dreamworks movie Train Your Dragon? Dragons were killers too . . . but if a kid can train a dragon, then you’ve got all it takes to train your inner critic!

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  8. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Great tips Quinn. Number 2 resonates with me right now – but making sure I add the ‘with compassion’! Otherwise it’s just another way of being too hard on myself 😉

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Ellen, I’m glad something resonated with you!

      Here’s my not so secret mantra for being nice to myself: May I be filled with loving kindness; May I be held in loving kindness; May I realize loving kindness as my essence.

      May it work for you too!

      Quinn

  9. Rob

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Quinn, you’ve nailed it! All about taking self-control. We have the power!

    I laughed out loud when you said you saw your inner critic as a bulldog with a bright pink ruff around its neck!

    I’d like to work on mine.

    You’ve reminded me how personal success is as well as how anything we do in business is a reflection of our personalities and personal branding. It’s all about having the right approach and attitude, as you suggest.

    I particularly like your process for embracing our weaknesses. I would go further to say this isn’t something that happens over night but over time. In that respect, Jim Ryun’s quote is perfect.

    Thanks for the wisdom, laughter and reality check, Quinn.

    This is one of the posts that needs to be bookmarked for ongoing future reference and referral!

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Rob!

      I’m glad you like the Jim Ryun quote . . . and give full credit to the folks at A2S for having put it in! And they did a terrific job with the pictures too!

      As we’re all a work in progress, it’s good we can have some fun along the way too!

      Cheers!
      Quinn

  10. Andrea

    Apr 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Hi Quinn,

    Couldn’t agree more with you about ‘getting out of your way’! For so long, I’ve been waiting for some external factor to improve, so that my life would be finally on track. But since I’ve taken full responsibility for my own actions, I’m experiencing small wins almost every day. It’s hard, but I’d rather swallow some bitter pills now and then, than give power to the inner monster that keeps nagging away in the background…

    Great advice!
    Thanks

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      I hear you about the monster! Good idea to keep track of any wins, but especially the small ones as they do add up. I had a dream last night about voting – for myself and against myself. Made me think I should get some poker chips, a couple of jars and get a visual on which way my votes are going through the day.

      Keep up the good work!

  11. Helen McCarthy

    Apr 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks Quinn. Good tips. Believing we all deserve kindness (even from ourselves) is the key for me.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Helen! I’m glad you found value in tips. The one that resonated with you is key for me too!

      Best wishes!

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Success Advice

7 Skills You Need to Master Before You Can Achieve Success

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skills

As a hardworking entrepreneur, I need to regularly remind myself to look up and out. In the world of business and technology, reality often changes before I can put a coherent thought together. I try to stay on top of my social media accounts such as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. The list seems endless, yet, I must continue to learn, grow and change as my mediums do.

There are podcasts, personal blogs, guest blogging, online courses, dream boards, interviews, strategy sessions and mastermind groups. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to think about all the opportunities and challenges of today’s fast-paced, global society.

What I learned about success running a brick and mortar business holds true for new challenges in the world of digital marketing. To be successful, I need the right tools in my toolbox. With the basics, I can create a strong foundation on which I will build my business and life. Success occurs when I stay focused on developing the character traits and skills necessary to thrive.

Here are the 7 skills you must develop to achieve success:

1. Belief  

Do you believe in yourself and your dream? Do you believe you are capable of making it happen? Is your belief strong enough to knock down the walls you’ll inevitably face while pursuing your objective? If so, you’ll be a winner because winners develop an ability to push aside distractions while staying intensely focused on the end goal. The passion necessary to do so is fueled by an unwavering belief in yourself and your capabilities.

2. Communication

One trick of communication is learning the what, who and how of the process. First and foremost, you must determine the information you actually need to communicate. What do you need to say, and what is to be kept private? Who do you need to convey the information to? For some of us, a chain of command must be followed thus one must communicate with the right people in the correct order.

How do you do so, and what’s the best method of delivery? It is imperative to get this right. Have you ever seen the fallout from a relationship damaged by a simple message conveyed through the wrong medium, such as a text?

Mastery of basic communication skills is crucial for everyone, not just entrepreneurs. You absolutely must make the development of this skill set a priority.

The best rule to follow when it comes to conveying information is if it is an important message, deliver it personally, in person or by phone, not through email or text.

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” – Plato

3. Courage

Fear is powerful and it can stop you in you in your tracks. Fear makes you think you need to turn around when you don’t, and it has the potential to rob you of your dreams. A dedicated entrepreneur finds the courage necessary to bust through fear. As an example, I am fearful of public speaking, yet it is often necessary. If I take time to practice in front of my family or small group of friends, I gain valuable experience and greater confidence in myself. The best way to beat fear is by summoning the courage to walk through it.

4. Flexibility

Flexibility is one of your most important skills. The key is learning to flex without breaking.  Whether an owner, manager or employee, you will be asked many times throughout your life to be flexible with your availability, your attitudes, and your management of self and others. In order to achieve maximum flexibility, you must first define your limits and boundaries. In businesses large and small, and in life, flexibility is a critical skill to master because even the strongest of us can snap when we are stretched past our breaking point.

5. Integrity

Integrity is honesty. Integrity helps you identify your strengths and character defects. It helps you make an honest assessment of who you are and what you are capable of. We need integrity to draw and keep the right people, both employees and customers. When people look to their leaders, they respect the person whose words match their actions. Integrity binds us together.

6. Mentorship

When you allow yourself to be mentored by someone, you tap into a wealth of information, communication and conversation. Due to the nature of the relationship, a mentor can tell you the truth about yourself or your business as the right mentor already walked the path you are now on. Out of their experience, a mentor informs you of the pitfalls you might face and can teach you how to approach and conquer challenges.

“My mentor said, ‘Let’s go do it,’ not ‘You go do it.’ How powerful when someone says, ‘Let’s!’” – Jim Rohn

7. Willingness

Are you willing to do whatever it takes, as long as the “it” is ethical? Will you work 12-hour-days for weeks, with no paycheck? Will you clean toilets, sweep floors and empty trash? Are you willing to forgo material pleasures while building your dream? Can you ask for help? Are you willing to listen to constructive criticism? Will you set aside your ego and accept opportunities for growth as they come? Will you commit the time to continually expand your knowledge base?

Growth requires education and dedication. You must be willing to go the extra mile and be able to see success before it materializes. You must work like no one else to succeed like no one else. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but a basic skill set you need to start strong, maintain focus and achieve success. New tools will be added to your toolboxes as you move forward.

When one of your tools is no longer useful, give it to a new entrepreneur.  It’s important to pass knowledge on to keep growing yourself. Sharing with one another is how we all succeed.

Which one of these skills has helped you most in life so far? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

A Productivity Book That Will Flip the Way You Get Things Done

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Erin falconer

Tired of having to do more each day with even less time? Can you imagine if your day felt comfortable, calming and fulfilling? Instead of to-do lists, calendaring galore and constant daily check-offs, there is another way that will save you time, save you sanity and save your life. Instead of a one-stop solution to productivity, why not customize productivity to who you are and what you want out of life?

Once you read self-improvement expert, Erin Falconer’s latest book, “How to Get Sh*t Done”, you’ll breathe a big sign of relief. This book is a wake-up call and a life-changing approach to how you get through your days. Instead of jam-packing your life with obligations and unwanted commitments, this book will empower you to turn your life inside out and get what’s most important to you, done.

Instead of checking off to-do items, the book presents a system to help you figure out who you are and what you want out of life. It’s not systems and methods that are preventing you from being productive, Falconer claims, but simply not knowing yourself and what you want.

Here are the 9 things Erin says you need to understand to shift your perspective to not only do more but to do more with purpose and meaning:

1. Understand your personality

Get honest about who you are, how you live your life and the unique quirks about yourself. She presents a list of questions in the early chapters to help you understand what drives you, what tires you and what makes you feel most alive. What brings you happiness? What doesn’t? What makes you feel awesome? What makes you want to quit? To be productive is to know your self and your unique personality. It’s to ask the big questions in life so you can determine what it is that you actually want to do.

2. Start living your life without judgment

Falconer points out that much of our habits and behaviors are influenced by what others think about us. We create this busy life because we are supposed to act and perform a certain way. There are voices and pressures in your own mind, for women more than men, that create ambivalence and uncertainty. You no longer know what you want because you can’t hear yourself. You are pressured by society, friends and family to do more.

“You may feel like the most productive person ever, but without a purpose, you’re just busy.” – Erin Falconer

3. Listen to yourself

You have the answers and you know best. When you consider other perspectives and opinions, you drown out your own. You can’t see the forest from the trees and become more confused. Stay the course and listen to yourself no matter how small that initial whisper is of self-knowledge and wisdom. Use mindfulness in your everyday life for more clarity and direction on what it is you want out of your life.

4. Be present

Mindfulness is the key to knowing what you’re thinking and what you want. It’s about cutting out the noise in your head, silencing the many people who try to influence you and getting the right stuff done. As Falconer shares in this wisdom-bomb, “to change your life, you must remain present in your life.” This allows you to focus on each moment, being aware of what you’re doing and staying the course.

5. Stop yes-sing your life away

You’re likely to do things for other people, especially as a woman, because you want to be a good person and please others. You take on responsibilities, obligations and do things you feel you have to do out of the need to make everyone happy and comfortable. Stop doing tasks that your heart isn’t into and use the magic “no” word more. Be intentional with your choices and what you choose to take on.

6. Stop should-ing your life away

“Should-ing ourselves is a major energy drain, as it compels us to split focus. We’re forcing our minds to be in two places at once,” Falconer writes. When you do those things you feel like you should do, you are not doing what you want to do and not being fully present to the task you don’t want to do. Start noticing all those should-do tasks in your life and begin eliminating those. Do more of what you want and less of what you should.

7. Focus on three things at a time

Life’s too short to do what you have no interest or time for. Falconer suggests you focus on three things and only three things at a time. Limit your goals to what you want most out of life right now. Create a goal for your career, for your personal growth and for your relationship growth. Move towards the goals that feel right to you and matches your values in life. Refer to Chapter 5 of “How to Get Shit Done” for strategies to narrow your focus and get super clear on the goals you want to pursue in life.

“How is it possible to attain happiness, fulfillment, and a sense that we’ve been truly productive in our lives if we haven’t even asked the most fundamental questions of ourselves? Who are you? What gives you energy — like, real energy? Who makes you happy? And of course, what do you really want?” – Erin Falconer

8. Outsource your life

No, not your entire life. Start outsourcing the work and tasks that you don’t want to do, that are counter-productive and not very fulfilling to you. There is no shame and absolutely no gain to you for handing off tasks to others who can do it better, faster and with more enthusiasm. Determine the costs versus benefit of situations and tasks to determine if outsourcing makes sense in this instance. “Do you make up the amount of money spent in time, found energy or productive minutes?”

9. Structure your day

While much of “How to Get Shit Done” is about refocusing and re-prioritizing your life to fit your values, the last parts of the book help you use your time better to fulfill those things that are important to you. The later chapters of the book help you set intentional mornings so you start the day the right way. Falconer also suggests starting your day with the top priorities and to do the big-ticket items first. Other tips include avoiding emails early in the day, avoiding people who distract you and ending each day by listing your goals for the next day.

To learn more about this new way of getting productive, pick up “How to Get Shit Done” today. Yes, you’ll be more productive but you’ll more likely be more purposeful.

What is your favorite book on success? Comment below!

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Success Advice

Selfishness In Your Career Is Causing You To Lose In The Long-term.

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In my career recently, I dealt with someone who blocked me from doing what I love. They chose selfishness over an abundance mindset when it came to decision of helping me or not.

 

Right now, it feels like the short game works.

You perform an act of selfishness in your career and you think to yourself “Hey I just won.”

You feel like you’ve won… temporarily.

Then you go on a holiday for a while, come back to your career and realize that everything has changed. Your act of selfishness secretly got noticed behind the scenes causing your appearance of being a leader to be shattered into a thousand pieces.

A restructure hits while you’re away and you realize that all your supporters are gone. Then, all you’re left with is your reputation.

That reputation means nothing when you’re known for being selfish.

 

The trouble with all of this?

You never find out.

“This hidden disease that you’ve planted yourself in your career attacks at the very foundations of your career health while you think you’ve won”

Selfishness has a bitter aftertaste. Selfishness is always discovered whether you like it or not.

 

You have a choice.

The choice is to try and protect everything you have and build your own empire within the context of your career or do what I have religiously done: stop giving a f*ck and give whatever you can, whenever you can.

People remember kindness.

People remember who helped them in their career.

People give opportunities to those who are not selfish.

“The selfish ones end up marching behind an army of the blind thinking negative thoughts and blaming “The Company” for their misfortunes”

You’re responsible for your misfortunes and they grow from your own selfishness.

Your grand plans for your career are stupid if they come about from a position of selfishness and personal gain. Choose kindness instead.

 

Once you burn your current career, this happens.

You come back from your holiday and realize you need to move on. You contact the customers you think are your allies and realize they’re not feeling very generous.

The opportunities you thought you had as a fall-back in case someone discovered the true selfish person that you are don’t exist.

The real world doesn’t acknowledge or bend over backwards for those who demonstrate selfishness on a regular basis.

 

The long game is where it’s at ladies and gentlemen.

What is the long game you ask? Simple. Don’t be selfish in your career. What does that look like? See below:

–    Help people step up into your role while you are away on holidays, maternity / paternity leave

–    Breed more leaders if that’s what you call yourself

–    Do random acts of kindness to help people in their career when there’s no reason to

–    Put your own self-interests to one side when dealing with customers

–    Quit thinking with a “protect my own fortress” mindset – it’s killing your success

–    Be humble, grateful and caring towards everyone you work with – even if you dislike them

The long game is about demonstrating that you can be the kind of person that is trusted and unwavering in the human pursuit of success, and the people you work with.

When your colleagues win, you win too – that’s how you have to start thinking.

This Silicon Valley Mindset of “I have to beat everyone I work with” and “We’re all in competition with each other” is total BS.

“Collaboration trumps silo work and selfishness every day of the week”

Wake up and take a look at the entrepreneurs you admire like Elon Musk, Richard Branson and Tony Robbins. Do they do everything themselves or collaborate like crazy?

You already know the answer.

Does Gary Vee sit around doing everything himself and taking all the credit? Not a chance. He promotes his creative colleagues Babin and D-Rock and makes them the star of his content.

 

Selfishness is always going to surround you.

And that’s why if you do the opposite and show love and kindness in your career, then you’ll become the 1% that succeed, live with passion, and go on to be CEOs and Founders.

Be the difference you want to see in your career.

Throw selfishness out with the bath water and join the abundance economy where it’s all about focusing on the long game.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

15 Things You Need To Be Successful That Your Loser Ass Friends Don’t Do.

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Success is a word that’s thrown around a lot. In some ways, it has lost its meaning. We all want it and the definition of success is different for everyone.

Some of us want a great family life. Some of us want a successful business. Some of us want lots of money so we can do cool stuff.

You may think that naming and shaming what your loser ass friends do is harsh. Unfortunately, life and success are harsh so unless you get serious and call a spade a spade, you’ll never breakthrough to become the person you want to be.

Unless the lesson is harsh, you’ll never get the wakeup call that you so desperately need. Enough is enough. It’s time to stop fantasizing and implement the tools needed to get what you want.

Whatever your definition of success is, you’ll need this list of things:

 

1. An “I want to help without expecting anything in return” mentality.

The understanding of mutual value is the foundation for all of business and life. The moment you treat every person you encounter as a transaction and you want to always come out on top, is the moment that you’ll continue to fall short of your goals and dreams.

Coming from a place of giving above all else is how you win at life. Expectations are ugly and we can all see them from a mile away. Expectations are filled with self-interest, self-promotion, huge egos and a general lack of wisdom and knowledge.

Your loser friends are always calculating what they can get out of every situation. You must think the opposite and concentrate on what you can give.

 

2. An investment in your mindset.

That brain of yours is controlling everything you do and it will be fighting against your best interests unless you program it to operate it in an effective manner. It takes time and often money to teach your brain how to think.

Your mindset is built to be negative unless you invest in some strategies and learning to add some positivity. A single pump up session is not enough; you need long lasting and proven strategies to rewire your brain to focus on success instead of just survival.

“Short-term motivation and inspiration will only help you briefly. Those positivity Instagram picture quotes will last an even shorter period of time”

Your loser ass friends have not refined their mindset but you must if you want to be successful.

 

3. Join a social media pod.

Okay, many of you have never heard of this. Right now, on every social media platform, there are what is referred to as ‘engagement pods.’

These are groups of people who share ideas and social media content with each other. Every time someone in the pod does something, the rest of the members show support and share their opinions.

It’s a new age version of a mastermind with content at the heart of the group – rather than one giant leader who is looked upon as the guru and giver of life itself…Haha.

Find people who share the same passion as you. Reach out to them and ask them to join a pod with you. Create guidelines around how your pod works and the mutual value that you all bring.

Then, use WhatsApp, Messenger, WeChat, Telegram or whatever your favorite group chat app is to bring people together in your pod.

Your loser ass friends are not creating content, sharing winning ideas or doing much else other than indulging in BBQs and whinge sessions about their day job. You can escape that toxic environment through starting or joining one of these pods.

 

4. A healthy cocktail of discomfort mixed with fear – shaken not stirred.

Everything worth doing is uncomfortable. Period.

If all you do is bask in the comfort of those activities and people that you know well, you’ll never go to new heights. Success is partly about exploring the unknown. It’s by doing the stuff that you never thought was possible that you discover yourself and ultimately achieve some incredible goals.

These goals wouldn’t feel like success unless they were uncomfortable. Doing easy stuff doesn’t feel like success and you won’t be acknowledged for it.

Fear on the other hand often looks like something that should be avoided. When you suck at public speaking, you tell yourself lies such as “I’m an introvert” or “I’m just not a natural at giving speeches.”

These are excuses that society gives you for free as a false antidote to fears that come up in your life. We all have fears and avoiding them is not the answer.

It’s uncomfortable to battle a major fear but when you do, you show courage, strength, resilience and bravery. These are the traits of someone who’s going to be successful.

Your loser ass friends are maximizing couch time, working “cushy jobs,” cheating the system to get freebies, betting or gambling and being lazy. You need to get used to the uncomfortable and to mixing it up with the very things that make you fearful.

 

5. An understanding of what you want.

This is so crazy: Most people don’t know what they want. They’ve never spent the time to understand what sets them on fire and makes them passionate.

It’s surprisingly harder than the self-help preachers proclaim. Knowing what you want is difficult in reality. You have to spend time experimenting and reflecting to discover what you want.

No matter how old you are, if you don’t know what you want by now, don’t be angry. Choose action over anger. Go out there and try lots of stuff. Give a speech, travel the world, start a blog, write one chapter of a book, make some art, build a shed, learn salsa dancing.

Bottomline is this: just try something new until you find something that brings a smile to your face or feels effortless. Find something you’re happy doing for free and don’t need #MotivationMonday for.

Your loser ass friends don’t know what they want. They lack clarity which gives them zero purpose for getting out of bed. You need to experiment like a five-year-old and enjoy the process.

 

6. You must sacrifice.

That could be staying home on Saturday to work rather than going to the burger bar. It could be missing a social event on Friday and a few drinks. It could even be time blocking out a few hours that you agree on with your significant other so you can work.

“Success will never happen without sacrifice. Sacrifice is the currency of success. Stop thinking you can do more and start thinking ‘What am I going to give up so I can be successful’ “

Oprah was wrong: you can’t have everything you want. There aren’t enough hours in the day. Your life is way too short without a sacrifice strategy in place.

Your loser ass friends think they can do it all and be it all. You must take the opposite approach and begin the process of giving up on a few things. Your to-do list needs to get shorter, not longer.

 

7. A freaking weapon of a mentor.

Not someone who’s never achieved anything big or anything that matters to you. I’m talking about the real dude who lives and breathes success every day for breakfast. He or she wakes up in the morning and the first thing they do is eat success for breakfast.

They’ve done cool sh*t that you could only dream of and they know how to execute above all else. This weapon of a mentor will be hard to attract in your life. You’ll need something valuable to give them in return for their wisdom and Yoda-like ability.

If all else fails, you’ll need to pull out your wallet and pay someone if you really can’t figure it out.

Your loser ass friends are being mentored by the bankrupt car mechanic down the road on how to be successful. You need to be mentored by a tycoon who has humility and can show you the human traits that will be your secret formula to win at life.

 

8. A life-changing event.

This event will be focused on personal development. It will be a long series of days where you’ll be immersed and away from your phone and family. There will be moments of inspiration, realizations of heartbreak, meetings with new people and lots of breaking your comfort zone.

There’s likely to be music to fuel your emotions, bright lights to change your state and others going through the exact same process as you.

These events occur all around the world. They take many forms. The one that changed my life was with Tony Robbins but there are many to choose from. Either way, you need a single moment to break your current pattern of thinking.

You need some time and space to let go of your excess baggage so that you can grow. Immersion is the only way to fast-track this process.

Your loser ass friends don’t believe in changing their life through immersive events. They think it’s all spiritual and woo-woo, and that they can just spend short periods of time thinking about what worked and what didn’t work. Many of your loser friends don’t even do that.

You must develop yourself and fast-track the process if you want to be successful. Immersion is the best way.

 

9. Resources other than money.

Non-financial resources are going to be required in abundance. This will be in the form of time and skills.

“Time will be harvested and stored by saying NO lots, clearing events from your diary that have no meaning, and doing less in the pursuit of pleasure and more in the pursuit of success”

Skills will take the form of a few abilities that you’ll develop further which are in a narrow area. You’ll be able to go deep in this field and you’ll be a practitioner. Skills will be one of the ways you deliver passion and you’ll focus on a few rather than many broad, unrelated abilities.

Your loser ass friends think the only resource they need is money. You must understand that resources go way beyond what money could ever do. Money is a by-product of value.

 

10. A chemical rebalance.

“Okay WTF are you talking about Tim, you weirdo?”

What I’m saying here is simple: Your body is nothing but a giant lump of mass full of chemicals. If those chemicals are mostly toxic and not balanced, you’re going to be pissed off, low on energy, upset, emotional and borderline psycho.

Have I convinced you yet?

You can’t be successful unless you get your body in order. That could be a health check-up with your doctor, a visit to the naturopath, some herbal supplements to help you detox or a new juicing routine to pump some vitamins into that body of yours that you’ve neglected.

Your loser ass friends are eating at McDonald’s. You need to be eating for success and pumping good chemicals into that beautiful body you were given.

 

11. Decision-making speed.

No matter what you do, decisions are going to be involved. You will need to be able to cut off from the many options and choose a path. How quickly you make decisions will determine the speed at which you can progress. Decisions take up so much of your energy and headspace.

Decisions are a drain on your brain which impacts negatively on your ability to produce results. Knowing what you want will help you make decisions faster too. Half the reason you take so long to make a decision is that you don’t know what you really want.

You’re making decisions without a blueprint to make the process quicker. Overthinking is the death of all good ideas and opportunities.

Your loser friends consistently fall into the trap of indecision. You must get clear on what you want, balance the uncertainty and fear, and charge towards making a decision. When you’re overcome with indecision, your default answer should be no.

 

12. A love for someone other than yourself.

Only focusing on yourself and your own selfish desires is not success. It’s a fast road to failure that lacks the understanding of the reason we’re all here in the first place.

The moment you realize that true success (not the Instagram photo-worthy type) is about loving something other than yourself, you’ll have crossed into a different headspace.

That love might be for your customer, your partner, your kids or another human being who needs your help.

Your loser ass friends think that love is stupid or they don’t believe in it. They think the word “love” is for pussies who are soft.

For you to be successful, you must understand love. You must know that love is what created you and love is what will live on long after you’re gone.

 

13. Start aiming for the long game.

Short-term results won’t make you successful. We can all find a short-term opportunity, arbitrage, hack, etc.

The key is to keep finding all of these and understand that nothing stays the same. What made you successful today will not necessarily help you long-term. Success is about clear action with goals attached.

Overnight success is a lie that Hollywood invented. Real success is full of short-term pain, disappointment and hard work. That’s how you get long-term success.

Your loser ass friends are looking for the shortcuts and they have no goals. They think that it’s all about being in the right place at the right time They place bets and focus on luck. You must have a long-term view of where you’re heading and be okay with rapidly changing direction as required.

 

14. You’ll need to help others.

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

Pretty straight-forward when you think about it. Help is another word for providing value. No level of success can be achieved without some level of helping someone else get what they want first.

Your loser ass friends don’t help anyone. You must help others to be successful.

 

15. An infectious love for kindness and human beings.

Now I’m going to give you the right hook to the face that you didn’t expect to hear from an article like this. We’re going to transcend the loser friends label and even the word success itself.

There’s a continuous theme throughout everything you’ve just read and that is a love for human beings, and a love of kindness. This is what it takes to be human.

“Loving the very thing that you are and treating everyone as human rather than dividing us into races, genders, religious groups, political parties, sexual preferences or any form of label is how you be successful at a very high level”

Kindness brings us together and to be successful, we must embrace the gift we’ve been given of being human. We get one life, one chance and one shot to show the best of what it means to be human.

Our identity is human.

Kindness and a love for one another will trump all forms of success and anything else that you ever thought mattered.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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The Power Of Doing Only One Thing.

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This idea of doing only one thing was sparked by an event that happened this week. I decided to delete all podcasts on my phone and only keep the Tim Ferriss Show. In other areas of my life, I’ve done the same.

“I’ve selectively gone into each area and chosen one thing”

All the other things in the same category have been discarded. Here are some examples:

–    I had two pairs of earphones and now I have one

–    I’d read multiple books at the same time – now I do one at a time

–    I had multiple tools to cure stress and now I have one – meditation

I then took this minimalistic approach from how I handled material possessions and applied it to what I do each day.

Here are some examples:

–    I only pursue one passion now instead of many

–    I only execute on one vision instead of many

–    I only use my free time for one activity instead of many

 

Assess what you do and you’ll see one thing.

If you look at each category of your life, you’ll see that you spend a disproportionate amount of time in one area. I’ve normally had a few passions but if I evaluate the last five years, most of my efforts have been put towards blogging.

I had a few other passions but I didn’t spend a lot of time doing them. When I committed to doing one thing, I made a decision to stop pretending I cared about my other passions.

 

I listened to lots of podcasts until recently and I was constantly trying to keep up with the latest episodes. I found many of the podcasts shared similar messages and only one of them was life-changing in my eyes (The Tim Ferriss Podcast).

Now that I only listen to one podcast I can finally enjoy it, quit rushing and even playback episodes I’ve listened to already. Seeing the podcast screen with only one show on there is so refreshing!

Look at your life and you’ll see similar patterns.

 

It creates focus.

Doing one thing gives you extreme focus. This focus can be channelled towards tasks that lead to mastery instead of trying to dabble in lots of unrelated passions.

Focus is how you reach states of flow and achieve results that look impossible.

Doing one thing causes you to focus and practice more. Through this process, you can see your failures, areas of improvement and areas that you’re good at. This form of reflection gives you real-time feedback that can further compound your results.

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing” – Stephen Covey

 

It avoids overwhelm.

We can’t compute too many things at once. The power of doing one thing is that you avoid overwhelm. We can all manage one thing in each area of our life. The moment we introduce too many choices we end up with decision fatigue.

Overwhelm is selling yourself the false reality that you have to do everything to be successful. I’ve learned it’s the complete opposite.

To be successful, you have to focus and do one thing. Being successful is about not giving up and if you consistently put yourself into a state of overwhelm then you’ll simultaneously increase your negative thought patterns.

This milkshake of negativity will mix together and end up in failure if you let it.

Overwhelm is the enemy of passion and energy. Passion and energy become hyper-focused when you focus on one thing.

One podcast.

One business.

One romantic partner.

One vision.

One passion.

Embrace the power of doing one thing. 

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Chris

    May 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m the same as the majority, the inner critic, I like the idea of giving a physical appearance that I can laugh at. But the best part I will take from this post is failure is a great information provider, i need to get over the mindset that failure is bad!

    You say, in your post, that “Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.” How long did it take working for yourself for you to come to this realisation?

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Chris!

      When I left corporate America, I left at the high-point of my working life, and left with a LOT of expectations of what I could do in my own business. I was on my second business failure, a start-up with another person. It ended badly, and that at the 2-1/2 years mark. Then it took another 6 months of a lot of internal work to get where I honestly felt I was living and expressing my values.

      And, I’ll be frank, I’m still refining them. Each action I decide to take because it’s what feels right, teaches me something new about myself, or opens my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed about myself, or brings me one step closer to understanding myself better.

      May your journey be all that you need it to be to find the happiness and contentment you desire.

      Quinn

  2. Kim

    May 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Love the inner critic idea, Quinn. I usually try positive affirmations and positive readings, but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m going to try this too as it’s always nice to have a number of things in one’s arsenal. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Kim,

      Totally agree about more tools in your arsenal being a good thing! It used to be I could just say to myself, “This too shall pass,” whenever I found myself being annoyed with someone, but that eventually wore thin. Now I just imagine the person in a teacup. LOL!

  3. Brad

    Apr 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I would extend farther on the inner critic, that its really a lack of balance and love, a falling out with your inner child, who’s retaliating from years of abuse and neglect. I find the more inner child work I do, guided meditations addressing my inner child, apologizing for moments of abuse…the more loving my inner critic is and the more driven and creative I become. Just my two cents 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Brad,

      I find your comment very interesting as I also do a lot of inner child work . . . and I hadn’t thought of a possible connection between the two, but am going to consider that.

      Thanks for your comments!

  4. Laurie

    Apr 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Love the idea of taking on my inner critic, quite a formidable foe. Thanks for all the great ideas.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 26, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Laurie,

      I love talking to mine while it sits in its teacup. Everything it barks at me comes out in a high, squeaky voice!

      Have you ever wondered what yours would look like sitting in a thimble?

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  5. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Great post, Quinn! My inner critic runs all over me, so I’m keen to try your suggestion and shame it away. Thanks 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Nicki!

      I figure that since our inner critics do all they can to shame us, turn-about is fair play!

      Best of luck with yours!

      Quinn

  6. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Fantastic post, Quinn! Way to go to show not only what holds us back, but also how to get over those obstacles. The “fly by the seat of your pants” attitude is something we definitely need to consciously cultivate. Especially in this age, where it’s easy to get distracted.
    Ok, enough time has been wasted reading stuff online. Off to do some real work! 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Debasish,

      Glad you liked the post, thanks for taking the time!

      Quinn

  7. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Quinn, Inner critic is my killer. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting Ann!

      Remember the Dreamworks movie Train Your Dragon? Dragons were killers too . . . but if a kid can train a dragon, then you’ve got all it takes to train your inner critic!

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  8. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Great tips Quinn. Number 2 resonates with me right now – but making sure I add the ‘with compassion’! Otherwise it’s just another way of being too hard on myself 😉

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Ellen, I’m glad something resonated with you!

      Here’s my not so secret mantra for being nice to myself: May I be filled with loving kindness; May I be held in loving kindness; May I realize loving kindness as my essence.

      May it work for you too!

      Quinn

  9. Rob

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Quinn, you’ve nailed it! All about taking self-control. We have the power!

    I laughed out loud when you said you saw your inner critic as a bulldog with a bright pink ruff around its neck!

    I’d like to work on mine.

    You’ve reminded me how personal success is as well as how anything we do in business is a reflection of our personalities and personal branding. It’s all about having the right approach and attitude, as you suggest.

    I particularly like your process for embracing our weaknesses. I would go further to say this isn’t something that happens over night but over time. In that respect, Jim Ryun’s quote is perfect.

    Thanks for the wisdom, laughter and reality check, Quinn.

    This is one of the posts that needs to be bookmarked for ongoing future reference and referral!

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Rob!

      I’m glad you like the Jim Ryun quote . . . and give full credit to the folks at A2S for having put it in! And they did a terrific job with the pictures too!

      As we’re all a work in progress, it’s good we can have some fun along the way too!

      Cheers!
      Quinn

  10. Andrea

    Apr 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Hi Quinn,

    Couldn’t agree more with you about ‘getting out of your way’! For so long, I’ve been waiting for some external factor to improve, so that my life would be finally on track. But since I’ve taken full responsibility for my own actions, I’m experiencing small wins almost every day. It’s hard, but I’d rather swallow some bitter pills now and then, than give power to the inner monster that keeps nagging away in the background…

    Great advice!
    Thanks

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      I hear you about the monster! Good idea to keep track of any wins, but especially the small ones as they do add up. I had a dream last night about voting – for myself and against myself. Made me think I should get some poker chips, a couple of jars and get a visual on which way my votes are going through the day.

      Keep up the good work!

  11. Helen McCarthy

    Apr 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks Quinn. Good tips. Believing we all deserve kindness (even from ourselves) is the key for me.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Helen! I’m glad you found value in tips. The one that resonated with you is key for me too!

      Best wishes!

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Success Advice

7 Skills You Need to Master Before You Can Achieve Success

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skills

As a hardworking entrepreneur, I need to regularly remind myself to look up and out. In the world of business and technology, reality often changes before I can put a coherent thought together. I try to stay on top of my social media accounts such as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. The list seems endless, yet, I must continue to learn, grow and change as my mediums do.

There are podcasts, personal blogs, guest blogging, online courses, dream boards, interviews, strategy sessions and mastermind groups. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to think about all the opportunities and challenges of today’s fast-paced, global society.

What I learned about success running a brick and mortar business holds true for new challenges in the world of digital marketing. To be successful, I need the right tools in my toolbox. With the basics, I can create a strong foundation on which I will build my business and life. Success occurs when I stay focused on developing the character traits and skills necessary to thrive.

Here are the 7 skills you must develop to achieve success:

1. Belief  

Do you believe in yourself and your dream? Do you believe you are capable of making it happen? Is your belief strong enough to knock down the walls you’ll inevitably face while pursuing your objective? If so, you’ll be a winner because winners develop an ability to push aside distractions while staying intensely focused on the end goal. The passion necessary to do so is fueled by an unwavering belief in yourself and your capabilities.

2. Communication

One trick of communication is learning the what, who and how of the process. First and foremost, you must determine the information you actually need to communicate. What do you need to say, and what is to be kept private? Who do you need to convey the information to? For some of us, a chain of command must be followed thus one must communicate with the right people in the correct order.

How do you do so, and what’s the best method of delivery? It is imperative to get this right. Have you ever seen the fallout from a relationship damaged by a simple message conveyed through the wrong medium, such as a text?

Mastery of basic communication skills is crucial for everyone, not just entrepreneurs. You absolutely must make the development of this skill set a priority.

The best rule to follow when it comes to conveying information is if it is an important message, deliver it personally, in person or by phone, not through email or text.

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” – Plato

3. Courage

Fear is powerful and it can stop you in you in your tracks. Fear makes you think you need to turn around when you don’t, and it has the potential to rob you of your dreams. A dedicated entrepreneur finds the courage necessary to bust through fear. As an example, I am fearful of public speaking, yet it is often necessary. If I take time to practice in front of my family or small group of friends, I gain valuable experience and greater confidence in myself. The best way to beat fear is by summoning the courage to walk through it.

4. Flexibility

Flexibility is one of your most important skills. The key is learning to flex without breaking.  Whether an owner, manager or employee, you will be asked many times throughout your life to be flexible with your availability, your attitudes, and your management of self and others. In order to achieve maximum flexibility, you must first define your limits and boundaries. In businesses large and small, and in life, flexibility is a critical skill to master because even the strongest of us can snap when we are stretched past our breaking point.

5. Integrity

Integrity is honesty. Integrity helps you identify your strengths and character defects. It helps you make an honest assessment of who you are and what you are capable of. We need integrity to draw and keep the right people, both employees and customers. When people look to their leaders, they respect the person whose words match their actions. Integrity binds us together.

6. Mentorship

When you allow yourself to be mentored by someone, you tap into a wealth of information, communication and conversation. Due to the nature of the relationship, a mentor can tell you the truth about yourself or your business as the right mentor already walked the path you are now on. Out of their experience, a mentor informs you of the pitfalls you might face and can teach you how to approach and conquer challenges.

“My mentor said, ‘Let’s go do it,’ not ‘You go do it.’ How powerful when someone says, ‘Let’s!’” – Jim Rohn

7. Willingness

Are you willing to do whatever it takes, as long as the “it” is ethical? Will you work 12-hour-days for weeks, with no paycheck? Will you clean toilets, sweep floors and empty trash? Are you willing to forgo material pleasures while building your dream? Can you ask for help? Are you willing to listen to constructive criticism? Will you set aside your ego and accept opportunities for growth as they come? Will you commit the time to continually expand your knowledge base?

Growth requires education and dedication. You must be willing to go the extra mile and be able to see success before it materializes. You must work like no one else to succeed like no one else. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but a basic skill set you need to start strong, maintain focus and achieve success. New tools will be added to your toolboxes as you move forward.

When one of your tools is no longer useful, give it to a new entrepreneur.  It’s important to pass knowledge on to keep growing yourself. Sharing with one another is how we all succeed.

Which one of these skills has helped you most in life so far? Let us know in the comments below!

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Success Advice

A Productivity Book That Will Flip the Way You Get Things Done

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Erin falconer

Tired of having to do more each day with even less time? Can you imagine if your day felt comfortable, calming and fulfilling? Instead of to-do lists, calendaring galore and constant daily check-offs, there is another way that will save you time, save you sanity and save your life. Instead of a one-stop solution to productivity, why not customize productivity to who you are and what you want out of life?

Once you read self-improvement expert, Erin Falconer’s latest book, “How to Get Sh*t Done”, you’ll breathe a big sign of relief. This book is a wake-up call and a life-changing approach to how you get through your days. Instead of jam-packing your life with obligations and unwanted commitments, this book will empower you to turn your life inside out and get what’s most important to you, done.

Instead of checking off to-do items, the book presents a system to help you figure out who you are and what you want out of life. It’s not systems and methods that are preventing you from being productive, Falconer claims, but simply not knowing yourself and what you want.

Here are the 9 things Erin says you need to understand to shift your perspective to not only do more but to do more with purpose and meaning:

1. Understand your personality

Get honest about who you are, how you live your life and the unique quirks about yourself. She presents a list of questions in the early chapters to help you understand what drives you, what tires you and what makes you feel most alive. What brings you happiness? What doesn’t? What makes you feel awesome? What makes you want to quit? To be productive is to know your self and your unique personality. It’s to ask the big questions in life so you can determine what it is that you actually want to do.

2. Start living your life without judgment

Falconer points out that much of our habits and behaviors are influenced by what others think about us. We create this busy life because we are supposed to act and perform a certain way. There are voices and pressures in your own mind, for women more than men, that create ambivalence and uncertainty. You no longer know what you want because you can’t hear yourself. You are pressured by society, friends and family to do more.

“You may feel like the most productive person ever, but without a purpose, you’re just busy.” – Erin Falconer

3. Listen to yourself

You have the answers and you know best. When you consider other perspectives and opinions, you drown out your own. You can’t see the forest from the trees and become more confused. Stay the course and listen to yourself no matter how small that initial whisper is of self-knowledge and wisdom. Use mindfulness in your everyday life for more clarity and direction on what it is you want out of your life.

4. Be present

Mindfulness is the key to knowing what you’re thinking and what you want. It’s about cutting out the noise in your head, silencing the many people who try to influence you and getting the right stuff done. As Falconer shares in this wisdom-bomb, “to change your life, you must remain present in your life.” This allows you to focus on each moment, being aware of what you’re doing and staying the course.

5. Stop yes-sing your life away

You’re likely to do things for other people, especially as a woman, because you want to be a good person and please others. You take on responsibilities, obligations and do things you feel you have to do out of the need to make everyone happy and comfortable. Stop doing tasks that your heart isn’t into and use the magic “no” word more. Be intentional with your choices and what you choose to take on.

6. Stop should-ing your life away

“Should-ing ourselves is a major energy drain, as it compels us to split focus. We’re forcing our minds to be in two places at once,” Falconer writes. When you do those things you feel like you should do, you are not doing what you want to do and not being fully present to the task you don’t want to do. Start noticing all those should-do tasks in your life and begin eliminating those. Do more of what you want and less of what you should.

7. Focus on three things at a time

Life’s too short to do what you have no interest or time for. Falconer suggests you focus on three things and only three things at a time. Limit your goals to what you want most out of life right now. Create a goal for your career, for your personal growth and for your relationship growth. Move towards the goals that feel right to you and matches your values in life. Refer to Chapter 5 of “How to Get Shit Done” for strategies to narrow your focus and get super clear on the goals you want to pursue in life.

“How is it possible to attain happiness, fulfillment, and a sense that we’ve been truly productive in our lives if we haven’t even asked the most fundamental questions of ourselves? Who are you? What gives you energy — like, real energy? Who makes you happy? And of course, what do you really want?” – Erin Falconer

8. Outsource your life

No, not your entire life. Start outsourcing the work and tasks that you don’t want to do, that are counter-productive and not very fulfilling to you. There is no shame and absolutely no gain to you for handing off tasks to others who can do it better, faster and with more enthusiasm. Determine the costs versus benefit of situations and tasks to determine if outsourcing makes sense in this instance. “Do you make up the amount of money spent in time, found energy or productive minutes?”

9. Structure your day

While much of “How to Get Shit Done” is about refocusing and re-prioritizing your life to fit your values, the last parts of the book help you use your time better to fulfill those things that are important to you. The later chapters of the book help you set intentional mornings so you start the day the right way. Falconer also suggests starting your day with the top priorities and to do the big-ticket items first. Other tips include avoiding emails early in the day, avoiding people who distract you and ending each day by listing your goals for the next day.

To learn more about this new way of getting productive, pick up “How to Get Shit Done” today. Yes, you’ll be more productive but you’ll more likely be more purposeful.

What is your favorite book on success? Comment below!

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Success Advice

Selfishness In Your Career Is Causing You To Lose In The Long-term.

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In my career recently, I dealt with someone who blocked me from doing what I love. They chose selfishness over an abundance mindset when it came to decision of helping me or not.

 

Right now, it feels like the short game works.

You perform an act of selfishness in your career and you think to yourself “Hey I just won.”

You feel like you’ve won… temporarily.

Then you go on a holiday for a while, come back to your career and realize that everything has changed. Your act of selfishness secretly got noticed behind the scenes causing your appearance of being a leader to be shattered into a thousand pieces.

A restructure hits while you’re away and you realize that all your supporters are gone. Then, all you’re left with is your reputation.

That reputation means nothing when you’re known for being selfish.

 

The trouble with all of this?

You never find out.

“This hidden disease that you’ve planted yourself in your career attacks at the very foundations of your career health while you think you’ve won”

Selfishness has a bitter aftertaste. Selfishness is always discovered whether you like it or not.

 

You have a choice.

The choice is to try and protect everything you have and build your own empire within the context of your career or do what I have religiously done: stop giving a f*ck and give whatever you can, whenever you can.

People remember kindness.

People remember who helped them in their career.

People give opportunities to those who are not selfish.

“The selfish ones end up marching behind an army of the blind thinking negative thoughts and blaming “The Company” for their misfortunes”

You’re responsible for your misfortunes and they grow from your own selfishness.

Your grand plans for your career are stupid if they come about from a position of selfishness and personal gain. Choose kindness instead.

 

Once you burn your current career, this happens.

You come back from your holiday and realize you need to move on. You contact the customers you think are your allies and realize they’re not feeling very generous.

The opportunities you thought you had as a fall-back in case someone discovered the true selfish person that you are don’t exist.

The real world doesn’t acknowledge or bend over backwards for those who demonstrate selfishness on a regular basis.

 

The long game is where it’s at ladies and gentlemen.

What is the long game you ask? Simple. Don’t be selfish in your career. What does that look like? See below:

–    Help people step up into your role while you are away on holidays, maternity / paternity leave

–    Breed more leaders if that’s what you call yourself

–    Do random acts of kindness to help people in their career when there’s no reason to

–    Put your own self-interests to one side when dealing with customers

–    Quit thinking with a “protect my own fortress” mindset – it’s killing your success

–    Be humble, grateful and caring towards everyone you work with – even if you dislike them

The long game is about demonstrating that you can be the kind of person that is trusted and unwavering in the human pursuit of success, and the people you work with.

When your colleagues win, you win too – that’s how you have to start thinking.

This Silicon Valley Mindset of “I have to beat everyone I work with” and “We’re all in competition with each other” is total BS.

“Collaboration trumps silo work and selfishness every day of the week”

Wake up and take a look at the entrepreneurs you admire like Elon Musk, Richard Branson and Tony Robbins. Do they do everything themselves or collaborate like crazy?

You already know the answer.

Does Gary Vee sit around doing everything himself and taking all the credit? Not a chance. He promotes his creative colleagues Babin and D-Rock and makes them the star of his content.

 

Selfishness is always going to surround you.

And that’s why if you do the opposite and show love and kindness in your career, then you’ll become the 1% that succeed, live with passion, and go on to be CEOs and Founders.

Be the difference you want to see in your career.

Throw selfishness out with the bath water and join the abundance economy where it’s all about focusing on the long game.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

15 Things You Need To Be Successful That Your Loser Ass Friends Don’t Do.

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Success is a word that’s thrown around a lot. In some ways, it has lost its meaning. We all want it and the definition of success is different for everyone.

Some of us want a great family life. Some of us want a successful business. Some of us want lots of money so we can do cool stuff.

You may think that naming and shaming what your loser ass friends do is harsh. Unfortunately, life and success are harsh so unless you get serious and call a spade a spade, you’ll never breakthrough to become the person you want to be.

Unless the lesson is harsh, you’ll never get the wakeup call that you so desperately need. Enough is enough. It’s time to stop fantasizing and implement the tools needed to get what you want.

Whatever your definition of success is, you’ll need this list of things:

 

1. An “I want to help without expecting anything in return” mentality.

The understanding of mutual value is the foundation for all of business and life. The moment you treat every person you encounter as a transaction and you want to always come out on top, is the moment that you’ll continue to fall short of your goals and dreams.

Coming from a place of giving above all else is how you win at life. Expectations are ugly and we can all see them from a mile away. Expectations are filled with self-interest, self-promotion, huge egos and a general lack of wisdom and knowledge.

Your loser friends are always calculating what they can get out of every situation. You must think the opposite and concentrate on what you can give.

 

2. An investment in your mindset.

That brain of yours is controlling everything you do and it will be fighting against your best interests unless you program it to operate it in an effective manner. It takes time and often money to teach your brain how to think.

Your mindset is built to be negative unless you invest in some strategies and learning to add some positivity. A single pump up session is not enough; you need long lasting and proven strategies to rewire your brain to focus on success instead of just survival.

“Short-term motivation and inspiration will only help you briefly. Those positivity Instagram picture quotes will last an even shorter period of time”

Your loser ass friends have not refined their mindset but you must if you want to be successful.

 

3. Join a social media pod.

Okay, many of you have never heard of this. Right now, on every social media platform, there are what is referred to as ‘engagement pods.’

These are groups of people who share ideas and social media content with each other. Every time someone in the pod does something, the rest of the members show support and share their opinions.

It’s a new age version of a mastermind with content at the heart of the group – rather than one giant leader who is looked upon as the guru and giver of life itself…Haha.

Find people who share the same passion as you. Reach out to them and ask them to join a pod with you. Create guidelines around how your pod works and the mutual value that you all bring.

Then, use WhatsApp, Messenger, WeChat, Telegram or whatever your favorite group chat app is to bring people together in your pod.

Your loser ass friends are not creating content, sharing winning ideas or doing much else other than indulging in BBQs and whinge sessions about their day job. You can escape that toxic environment through starting or joining one of these pods.

 

4. A healthy cocktail of discomfort mixed with fear – shaken not stirred.

Everything worth doing is uncomfortable. Period.

If all you do is bask in the comfort of those activities and people that you know well, you’ll never go to new heights. Success is partly about exploring the unknown. It’s by doing the stuff that you never thought was possible that you discover yourself and ultimately achieve some incredible goals.

These goals wouldn’t feel like success unless they were uncomfortable. Doing easy stuff doesn’t feel like success and you won’t be acknowledged for it.

Fear on the other hand often looks like something that should be avoided. When you suck at public speaking, you tell yourself lies such as “I’m an introvert” or “I’m just not a natural at giving speeches.”

These are excuses that society gives you for free as a false antidote to fears that come up in your life. We all have fears and avoiding them is not the answer.

It’s uncomfortable to battle a major fear but when you do, you show courage, strength, resilience and bravery. These are the traits of someone who’s going to be successful.

Your loser ass friends are maximizing couch time, working “cushy jobs,” cheating the system to get freebies, betting or gambling and being lazy. You need to get used to the uncomfortable and to mixing it up with the very things that make you fearful.

 

5. An understanding of what you want.

This is so crazy: Most people don’t know what they want. They’ve never spent the time to understand what sets them on fire and makes them passionate.

It’s surprisingly harder than the self-help preachers proclaim. Knowing what you want is difficult in reality. You have to spend time experimenting and reflecting to discover what you want.

No matter how old you are, if you don’t know what you want by now, don’t be angry. Choose action over anger. Go out there and try lots of stuff. Give a speech, travel the world, start a blog, write one chapter of a book, make some art, build a shed, learn salsa dancing.

Bottomline is this: just try something new until you find something that brings a smile to your face or feels effortless. Find something you’re happy doing for free and don’t need #MotivationMonday for.

Your loser ass friends don’t know what they want. They lack clarity which gives them zero purpose for getting out of bed. You need to experiment like a five-year-old and enjoy the process.

 

6. You must sacrifice.

That could be staying home on Saturday to work rather than going to the burger bar. It could be missing a social event on Friday and a few drinks. It could even be time blocking out a few hours that you agree on with your significant other so you can work.

“Success will never happen without sacrifice. Sacrifice is the currency of success. Stop thinking you can do more and start thinking ‘What am I going to give up so I can be successful’ “

Oprah was wrong: you can’t have everything you want. There aren’t enough hours in the day. Your life is way too short without a sacrifice strategy in place.

Your loser ass friends think they can do it all and be it all. You must take the opposite approach and begin the process of giving up on a few things. Your to-do list needs to get shorter, not longer.

 

7. A freaking weapon of a mentor.

Not someone who’s never achieved anything big or anything that matters to you. I’m talking about the real dude who lives and breathes success every day for breakfast. He or she wakes up in the morning and the first thing they do is eat success for breakfast.

They’ve done cool sh*t that you could only dream of and they know how to execute above all else. This weapon of a mentor will be hard to attract in your life. You’ll need something valuable to give them in return for their wisdom and Yoda-like ability.

If all else fails, you’ll need to pull out your wallet and pay someone if you really can’t figure it out.

Your loser ass friends are being mentored by the bankrupt car mechanic down the road on how to be successful. You need to be mentored by a tycoon who has humility and can show you the human traits that will be your secret formula to win at life.

 

8. A life-changing event.

This event will be focused on personal development. It will be a long series of days where you’ll be immersed and away from your phone and family. There will be moments of inspiration, realizations of heartbreak, meetings with new people and lots of breaking your comfort zone.

There’s likely to be music to fuel your emotions, bright lights to change your state and others going through the exact same process as you.

These events occur all around the world. They take many forms. The one that changed my life was with Tony Robbins but there are many to choose from. Either way, you need a single moment to break your current pattern of thinking.

You need some time and space to let go of your excess baggage so that you can grow. Immersion is the only way to fast-track this process.

Your loser ass friends don’t believe in changing their life through immersive events. They think it’s all spiritual and woo-woo, and that they can just spend short periods of time thinking about what worked and what didn’t work. Many of your loser friends don’t even do that.

You must develop yourself and fast-track the process if you want to be successful. Immersion is the best way.

 

9. Resources other than money.

Non-financial resources are going to be required in abundance. This will be in the form of time and skills.

“Time will be harvested and stored by saying NO lots, clearing events from your diary that have no meaning, and doing less in the pursuit of pleasure and more in the pursuit of success”

Skills will take the form of a few abilities that you’ll develop further which are in a narrow area. You’ll be able to go deep in this field and you’ll be a practitioner. Skills will be one of the ways you deliver passion and you’ll focus on a few rather than many broad, unrelated abilities.

Your loser ass friends think the only resource they need is money. You must understand that resources go way beyond what money could ever do. Money is a by-product of value.

 

10. A chemical rebalance.

“Okay WTF are you talking about Tim, you weirdo?”

What I’m saying here is simple: Your body is nothing but a giant lump of mass full of chemicals. If those chemicals are mostly toxic and not balanced, you’re going to be pissed off, low on energy, upset, emotional and borderline psycho.

Have I convinced you yet?

You can’t be successful unless you get your body in order. That could be a health check-up with your doctor, a visit to the naturopath, some herbal supplements to help you detox or a new juicing routine to pump some vitamins into that body of yours that you’ve neglected.

Your loser ass friends are eating at McDonald’s. You need to be eating for success and pumping good chemicals into that beautiful body you were given.

 

11. Decision-making speed.

No matter what you do, decisions are going to be involved. You will need to be able to cut off from the many options and choose a path. How quickly you make decisions will determine the speed at which you can progress. Decisions take up so much of your energy and headspace.

Decisions are a drain on your brain which impacts negatively on your ability to produce results. Knowing what you want will help you make decisions faster too. Half the reason you take so long to make a decision is that you don’t know what you really want.

You’re making decisions without a blueprint to make the process quicker. Overthinking is the death of all good ideas and opportunities.

Your loser friends consistently fall into the trap of indecision. You must get clear on what you want, balance the uncertainty and fear, and charge towards making a decision. When you’re overcome with indecision, your default answer should be no.

 

12. A love for someone other than yourself.

Only focusing on yourself and your own selfish desires is not success. It’s a fast road to failure that lacks the understanding of the reason we’re all here in the first place.

The moment you realize that true success (not the Instagram photo-worthy type) is about loving something other than yourself, you’ll have crossed into a different headspace.

That love might be for your customer, your partner, your kids or another human being who needs your help.

Your loser ass friends think that love is stupid or they don’t believe in it. They think the word “love” is for pussies who are soft.

For you to be successful, you must understand love. You must know that love is what created you and love is what will live on long after you’re gone.

 

13. Start aiming for the long game.

Short-term results won’t make you successful. We can all find a short-term opportunity, arbitrage, hack, etc.

The key is to keep finding all of these and understand that nothing stays the same. What made you successful today will not necessarily help you long-term. Success is about clear action with goals attached.

Overnight success is a lie that Hollywood invented. Real success is full of short-term pain, disappointment and hard work. That’s how you get long-term success.

Your loser ass friends are looking for the shortcuts and they have no goals. They think that it’s all about being in the right place at the right time They place bets and focus on luck. You must have a long-term view of where you’re heading and be okay with rapidly changing direction as required.

 

14. You’ll need to help others.

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

Pretty straight-forward when you think about it. Help is another word for providing value. No level of success can be achieved without some level of helping someone else get what they want first.

Your loser ass friends don’t help anyone. You must help others to be successful.

 

15. An infectious love for kindness and human beings.

Now I’m going to give you the right hook to the face that you didn’t expect to hear from an article like this. We’re going to transcend the loser friends label and even the word success itself.

There’s a continuous theme throughout everything you’ve just read and that is a love for human beings, and a love of kindness. This is what it takes to be human.

“Loving the very thing that you are and treating everyone as human rather than dividing us into races, genders, religious groups, political parties, sexual preferences or any form of label is how you be successful at a very high level”

Kindness brings us together and to be successful, we must embrace the gift we’ve been given of being human. We get one life, one chance and one shot to show the best of what it means to be human.

Our identity is human.

Kindness and a love for one another will trump all forms of success and anything else that you ever thought mattered.

<<<>>>

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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