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3 Must-Haves For Increasing Your Self-Esteem

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must haves for success

Why are your successes never enough to outweigh the failure you fear and take so personally?

This fear has planted roots in your psyche and eroded your self-esteem. It cripples your thinking and overshadows everything you do.

What you and most people don’t understand is that success is personal.

Unless you make it personal, you’ll be stuck forever in the tracks your fear has laid down.

When I finally realized the biggest barrier to my success was me, I honestly didn’t know what to do.

For too many years, my success had depended on getting recognized for my contributions as I helped other people become successful. It took me a while to realize that my unquenchable need for their approval had screwed up my self-esteem.

Too bad I didn’t realize that before starting my own business.

Learning to Get Out of Your Own Way

It wasn’t just the business failure though – I had failed myself. Going to work for someone else again would have been another kind of failure.

I had to figure out how to move forward differently.

To do that, I had to accept failure as the great information provider it is, instead of a personal reflection of me.

In doing that I came to understand the personal nature of success.

The 3 Must-Haves I Discovered That Will Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

Because success is personal – you must get personal with yourself.

In building up my self-esteem, I had to rethink how I looked at myself. That’s what you’ll need to do too.

These exercises will have you becoming less outwardly focused, and more self-aware, in a good, non-obsessive way.

They are the necessary steps for changing your motivation from fear to one that will have you manifesting a success that is uniquely yours.

Must-Have #1: Good Control Over Your Inner Critic

No one is harder on you than you. One of the biggest barriers to your success is all the negative self-talk your inner critic inflicts on you.

It affects not only how you think about yourself (self-esteem), but also how you think about what you do (self-worth.)

Too much negativity and your inner critic harps on all your real or imagined failings. You need to get that ongoing barrage of abuse under control.

Controlling Your Inner Critic

How do you do it?

Ridicule.

Seriously, when your inner critic starts dumping on you:

  1. Turn it into a figure of fun.
  2. Laugh at it! Laugh at what it says about you.
  3. Imagine how ridiculous it looks, and take that look to the extreme.

I see my inner critic as a bulldog – with a bright pink ruff around its neck. Just picturing it shrinking down and sitting in one of those fancy little teacups makes me laugh.

Why does this work?

By taking control of your interactions with your inner critic, you’re stepping out of the role of being its victim. Taking control is a positive step that ups your self-esteem.

The more you interrupt your inner critic’s patterns of negativity, the easier it is to change what you think about yourself.

“To dream by night is to escape your life. To dream by day is to make it happen.” – Stephen Richards

 

Must-Have #2: Willingness to Embrace Your Weaknesses

Criticizing yourself for having weaknesses, over-compensating for them, or blaming them for your failures actually gets in the way of your success.

This must-have is about looking at them and yourself with compassion. Just believing you deserve such kindness is a great boost to your self-esteem.

Embracing Your Weaknesses

So what do you do?

Switch from a criticizing mindset to one that looks for improvements. Accept both your strengths and weaknesses.

This is how you start:

  1. Identify where you can make small changes that have a positive impact.
  2. Start by going for easy wins.
  3. Get the changes locked-in, and move onto the next ones.

When you disparage parts of yourself, you create internal conflicts and end up focusing on fixing the wrong things.

Why does this work?

There are three primary reasons why this works:

  1. Small changes add up and create larger impacts.
  2. One success builds on another.
  3. Doing positive things for yourself adds to your feelings of self-worth, and ups your self-esteem.

When I did this, I saw where I could make changes to my business model. The result? More opportunities for success, and more trust in myself.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun

 

Must-Have #3: An Old-Fashioned “Fly By The Seat of Your Pants” Attitude

The first planes were essentially physical extensions of the pilots. The actions the fliers took were limited, purposeful and focused on achieving the desired outcome.

There’s nothing like life or death situations for giving purpose and meaning to what you do.

What you need to have is the same attitude as the old-fashioned pilots. Don’t make a move that doesn’t have the express purpose of getting you one step closer to success.

Getting This Focused Attitude

How do you get it?

Start by answering this question: What do you value and how do you want to be manifesting, feeling, and expressing those values to the world?

Then expand your answer by completing these 3 steps:

  1. Identify your self-chosen ideals, the ones that resonate with you.
  2. Translate them to specific value statements for all areas of your life: family, health, financial, spiritual, community, etc.
  3. Determine what you want to manifest and express to the world about your values.

Taking this advice that comes from Jack Canfield helped me consolidate the changes I was making, and increased my focus.  Doing this work helps you build the foundation of your success.

the rock
 

Why does this work?

It’s about connecting the dots between your thinking, feelings, and beliefs. When you’re done, you have an integrated picture of who you are and clarity on what you value.

This is where success gets personal.

This is where you clearly define what success means to you.

This is where you get your ongoing motivation for manifesting your success.

How The 3 Must-Haves Work Together To Up Your Self-Esteem and Drive Your Success

It takes a healthy self-esteem to put yourself out there in a way that is uniquely personal to you.

A mindset that looks for improvements helps you handle setbacks and failures, in a positive way.

The right attitude keeps the focus on what you value and how you express those values. It’s what pulls all the pieces together and gets everything you do pointing in the same direction.

When that happens, you know what advice to follow, what programs to use, and what steps to implement.

“The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.” – Denis Avey

This Is Your Personal Brand of Success

It’s all about you and how you’re expressing and manifesting what you want in your life.

It’s what I’m doing in mine. Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.

Having control over your life and your success in this way is enormously empowering – and more than worth all the effort.

Start at the beginning. Do all the exercises. Take a good look at what you value and how you want to express it.

That’s the success you want.

That’s the success you’ll create.

That’s the success you’ll drive right through the roof.

Here’s to your success!

 

A freelance writer and storyteller, Quinn takes what she learns about overcoming her challenges with panic and anxiety, and shares them to help other people create the success they want. Her website, OutsmartingPanicAndAnxiety.com, provides methods and techniques to help people deal with these two tyrants. You can pick up your free copy of her 10 Tips to Outsmart Anxiety (Whatever the Situation) by, clicking here.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Chris

    May 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m the same as the majority, the inner critic, I like the idea of giving a physical appearance that I can laugh at. But the best part I will take from this post is failure is a great information provider, i need to get over the mindset that failure is bad!

    You say, in your post, that “Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.” How long did it take working for yourself for you to come to this realisation?

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Chris!

      When I left corporate America, I left at the high-point of my working life, and left with a LOT of expectations of what I could do in my own business. I was on my second business failure, a start-up with another person. It ended badly, and that at the 2-1/2 years mark. Then it took another 6 months of a lot of internal work to get where I honestly felt I was living and expressing my values.

      And, I’ll be frank, I’m still refining them. Each action I decide to take because it’s what feels right, teaches me something new about myself, or opens my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed about myself, or brings me one step closer to understanding myself better.

      May your journey be all that you need it to be to find the happiness and contentment you desire.

      Quinn

  2. Kim

    May 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Love the inner critic idea, Quinn. I usually try positive affirmations and positive readings, but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m going to try this too as it’s always nice to have a number of things in one’s arsenal. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Kim,

      Totally agree about more tools in your arsenal being a good thing! It used to be I could just say to myself, “This too shall pass,” whenever I found myself being annoyed with someone, but that eventually wore thin. Now I just imagine the person in a teacup. LOL!

  3. Brad

    Apr 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I would extend farther on the inner critic, that its really a lack of balance and love, a falling out with your inner child, who’s retaliating from years of abuse and neglect. I find the more inner child work I do, guided meditations addressing my inner child, apologizing for moments of abuse…the more loving my inner critic is and the more driven and creative I become. Just my two cents 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Brad,

      I find your comment very interesting as I also do a lot of inner child work . . . and I hadn’t thought of a possible connection between the two, but am going to consider that.

      Thanks for your comments!

  4. Laurie

    Apr 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Love the idea of taking on my inner critic, quite a formidable foe. Thanks for all the great ideas.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 26, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Laurie,

      I love talking to mine while it sits in its teacup. Everything it barks at me comes out in a high, squeaky voice!

      Have you ever wondered what yours would look like sitting in a thimble?

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  5. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Great post, Quinn! My inner critic runs all over me, so I’m keen to try your suggestion and shame it away. Thanks 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Nicki!

      I figure that since our inner critics do all they can to shame us, turn-about is fair play!

      Best of luck with yours!

      Quinn

  6. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Fantastic post, Quinn! Way to go to show not only what holds us back, but also how to get over those obstacles. The “fly by the seat of your pants” attitude is something we definitely need to consciously cultivate. Especially in this age, where it’s easy to get distracted.
    Ok, enough time has been wasted reading stuff online. Off to do some real work! 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Debasish,

      Glad you liked the post, thanks for taking the time!

      Quinn

  7. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Quinn, Inner critic is my killer. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting Ann!

      Remember the Dreamworks movie Train Your Dragon? Dragons were killers too . . . but if a kid can train a dragon, then you’ve got all it takes to train your inner critic!

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  8. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Great tips Quinn. Number 2 resonates with me right now – but making sure I add the ‘with compassion’! Otherwise it’s just another way of being too hard on myself 😉

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Ellen, I’m glad something resonated with you!

      Here’s my not so secret mantra for being nice to myself: May I be filled with loving kindness; May I be held in loving kindness; May I realize loving kindness as my essence.

      May it work for you too!

      Quinn

  9. Rob

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Quinn, you’ve nailed it! All about taking self-control. We have the power!

    I laughed out loud when you said you saw your inner critic as a bulldog with a bright pink ruff around its neck!

    I’d like to work on mine.

    You’ve reminded me how personal success is as well as how anything we do in business is a reflection of our personalities and personal branding. It’s all about having the right approach and attitude, as you suggest.

    I particularly like your process for embracing our weaknesses. I would go further to say this isn’t something that happens over night but over time. In that respect, Jim Ryun’s quote is perfect.

    Thanks for the wisdom, laughter and reality check, Quinn.

    This is one of the posts that needs to be bookmarked for ongoing future reference and referral!

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Rob!

      I’m glad you like the Jim Ryun quote . . . and give full credit to the folks at A2S for having put it in! And they did a terrific job with the pictures too!

      As we’re all a work in progress, it’s good we can have some fun along the way too!

      Cheers!
      Quinn

  10. Andrea

    Apr 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Hi Quinn,

    Couldn’t agree more with you about ‘getting out of your way’! For so long, I’ve been waiting for some external factor to improve, so that my life would be finally on track. But since I’ve taken full responsibility for my own actions, I’m experiencing small wins almost every day. It’s hard, but I’d rather swallow some bitter pills now and then, than give power to the inner monster that keeps nagging away in the background…

    Great advice!
    Thanks

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      I hear you about the monster! Good idea to keep track of any wins, but especially the small ones as they do add up. I had a dream last night about voting – for myself and against myself. Made me think I should get some poker chips, a couple of jars and get a visual on which way my votes are going through the day.

      Keep up the good work!

  11. Helen McCarthy

    Apr 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks Quinn. Good tips. Believing we all deserve kindness (even from ourselves) is the key for me.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Helen! I’m glad you found value in tips. The one that resonated with you is key for me too!

      Best wishes!

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Success Advice

Stop Denying Your Negative Thoughts and Start Embracing Them

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Over the years, many of the talking heads and pundits in the personal development and success science industry have talked about the immediate replacement of negative thoughts with positive thoughts. The logic behind that particular behavioral strategy seems to make sense on the surface. Think about it, when a negative thought rears its ugly head, we should immediately dive into the repository of positive thoughts that we have available to us so that we could immediately begin to dwell on it.

Even further, some gurus of the genre suggest removing any chance of having a negative thought by the constant repetition of affirmations. Again, tried-and-true motivational technology that is very workable and still useful. I would suggest, however, that you view the above behaviors as tactics more than strategies.

I will further suggest to you that you do not abhor your negative thoughts but rather embrace them, examine them, and place them under a spotlight. My reasoning behind this goes back over 100 years into psychology with stimulus/response, that is, the cause and effect of certain behaviors. Many individuals look at a negative thought as a causative driver. The negative thought exists as a cause, and our behavior toward that cause will determine the effect.

So, following this logic, if an individual has a negative thought which makes them feel sad, and that sadness causes them to binge drink, by removing the negative thought you’ll have removed the motivation for binge drinking. Doesn’t that sound kind of silly? The suggestion here is to turn off the negative thought so that it will turn off the consumption of alcohol.

Of course, this makes sense if we view the negative thought as a primal force in behavior. So, what if we started to think of the negative thought more as the result of something else? It means that the “something else” must change first. What if we took a different approach? What if we looked at a negative thought as an effect of some larger causal factor?

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” – Joel Osteen

By reversing the cause-and-effect motion of negative thinking (saying that the negative thought is an effect), we now can ask a deeper, more penetrative question: Why are we thinking that negative thought? What is the underlying cause of that specific train of thinking? By reversing the cause-and-effect relationship of negative thinking, it allows the negative thinker to assume the role of diagnostician!

Below is a three-step process you can use to examine your negative thoughts, the role of it in your life, and how you can get rid of them:

1. Simply acknowledge the negative thought

Recognize the fact that there’s a negative thought in your mind instead of trying to go through a process of emotionally overlaying positive thoughts on top of it. Can you see how this exacerbates the issue? You have a negative thought, you immediately recognize that it must be changed, and you frantically scurry through the museum of your mind to find a positive thought to replace it.

In the meantime, while you are trying to find that positive thought, you’re feeling anxious, nervous, and guilty! When you finally find a positive thought to replace that negative thought, the normal process is to squash it. But you can’t! It’s like trying to get rid of weeds by covering them with rocks.

They will always find another way around the rock. It is the same with negative thoughts. Consequently, try acknowledging the negative thought.

2. Affirm the negative thought

It is a part of you. Instead of denying its existence, accept that it is there in front of you and that you are now willing to deal with it. If any of you reading this are dog lovers, you will know that the best way to get a dog next to you is by attempting to push it away from you. Every time you push the dog away it gets closer. This is the same with negative thinking because the harder you push the closer it gets.

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” – Michael Jordan

3. Acquit the thought

Give it permission to leave you. Thank it for its past importance in your life and allow it to be on its way! At this point feel free to replace the negative thought with a positive thought. What will begin to happen when you place the negative thought under the spotlight is that you will see how insignificantly small it actually is.

This is a process I’ve been using for quite some time, and it works! Oh sure, I still use affirmations on a daily basis; as a matter fact I have them right here in front of me. I find that affirmations are a tremendous way to stay positive because it doesn’t allow any room for bad things to grow. But since the average person thinks 60,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, let’s face it, a few negative thoughts have to squeak in there!

The best advice that I can give is to not freak out over a negative thought. Acknowledge it, affirm it, and acquit it! This is magic. Watch what happens!

How do you handle negative thoughts? Let us know your tips below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

One Thing I Can Teach You About Life That Will Help You Forever.

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I used to be a very anxious person.

I was embarrassed by what I couldn’t do and every day was a struggle. From the moment I would wake up to the moment I’d go to bed, everything felt impossibly overwhelming. It’s a battle I’ve dealt with most of my life.

This daily struggle with mental illness taught me that the satisfaction didn’t lie in beating it; the satisfaction was in helping other people beat mental illness through my success in fighting it.


Recently, I was at work. It was a pretty standard day — nothing too exciting. I then had a catch up with one of the leaders I worked with.

She said something that got my attention: “One of our colleagues is battling a mental illness.”

I really wanted to help. My eyes lit up. There was no need to uncover my plan with anyone else. I knew that staying discrete was fundamental.

I approached the person in question and asked for a few minutes of their time.

I didn’t ask them to admit their mental illness struggle; I just shared my story.

I talked about the anxiety stopping me from having a normal life, eating the right foods, going on dates with girls, having the career I wanted and traveling the world.

I wasn’t sure if any of it was sinking in or even helping. I felt compelled to go on. One thing I knew was that he was paying attention. I could see it in his eyes.

I then went on to talk about how I beat mental illness. Strategies such as:

  • Creating fear lists
  • Seeking professional help
  • Working on myself
  • Books I read
  • Events I attended

Out of nowhere, he started opening up about his own struggle. I was shocked.
It wasn’t pretty. He had an extreme case of mental illness that I certainly couldn’t diagnose or give professional advice on.

All I could do was show him through my own story that there was hope

I offered him access to all the resources I had. I told him that he had my full support and I’d be happy to help in any way I could. He then said:

“What was your psychologist’s name?”

I told him I’d look it up and send it to him. I didn’t have the answer in front of me, but I was determined when I got home to find it.

At the end of the catch-up, he smiled. I don’t think he’d smiled like that in a very long time.

That smile gave me so much satisfaction. It made my own struggle with mental illness worth it. All those sleepless nights, times spent vomiting into the toilet and dark days where I didn’t want to go on made sense.


“It took more than seven years for me to understand that my own battle with mental illness actually had a benefit”

That benefit was the satisfaction in seeing someone beat their mental illness because I was able to defeat mine.

It’s probably the greatest satisfaction of my entire life.

That’s one thing I can teach you about life that will help you forever.

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Success Advice

5 Productivity Shifts You Need to Make to Make 2019 Your Best Year Yet

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Everyone wants more time, that is something almost all of us share. Time is the most valuable resource and when you learn how to make your time work for you and how to get the most out of it – you experience life differently.  

Improving how you manage your time is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself – it’s a real game changer in your business and personal life. There are many ways that you can get more productive and get the right things done sooner; but not all of them are obvious or bring the same results.

Here are 5 productivity shifts you want to make if you are trying to make the most out of 2019:

1. Ditch your to do list

Productive people don’t keep to-do lists, they schedule everything they need to do in their calendar and work directly from their calendar!  To-Do lists are just ineffective and they are impeding your productivity. A never ending list of items only leaves you overwhelmed and with a false sense of ‘productivity’.  

If you schedule your To Do’s directly into your calendar at a time to get them done, you commit to it and you are more likely to get it done. Less is more – you don’t need a separate list to remind you what you need to do.

“Productivity is less about what you do with your time and more about how you run your mind.” – Robin Sharma

2. Give up on motivation

Productive people don’t always have to be motivated before starting something. They balance discipline with motivation and do what they need to do, regardless of motivation. When we come up with resistance to take action on what we have planned, we might tell ourselves that we are not motivated and we believe that we need to be motivated to complete any task.

If you want to increase your productivity, you need to challenge yourself more in the moment to take action and give up on motivation sometimes. Do what you need to in order to get the results you want in the future. Don’t make decisions based on how you feel now, make them based on what result you are really after.

3. Master your mornings

Wake up early and get yourself into the productive mindset with your routine and diet! Productive people start the day with some sort of routine, whether it’s meditation, exercise or visualization, etc. AND they have a healthy breakfast to fuel them for the day. Your health is everything when it comes to productivity, what you eat directly affects your productivity.

We can just no longer ignore the direct connection any more. Get in the right mindset to start your day and fuel your mind and body to get the most out of it. Starting your day off in any other way undermines your success – there is no doubt.

4. Schedule according to energy

Productive people know their energy cycles and they plan tasks around their energy levels. Why plan something at a time when you know it will be hard to rise to the challenge? Schedule tasks that require focus and concentration for those times of day that you feel the best and you will find it’s easier to follow through and you will be at your best to perform. Identify your filler tasks and complete those when your energy drops. Be more realistic when scheduling your tasks and set yourself up for wins.

“Productivity is never an accident it’s the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning & focused effort.” – Paul Meyer

5. Working backwards

Productive people always focus on those activities that will take them to the next level. They plan backwards, they look at their goals, then identify the tasks they need to do to support those goals. Those tasks get broken down into weekly actions. That’s how they plan.

Don’t only plan on tasks that come in or those which you ‘feel’ or ‘think’ you should be doing. Your day needs to consist of at least one activity that directly supports your longer term objectives, your big project. What sounds like common sense is definitely not common practice.

Create the right habits to achieve your goals, work on adopting easy tips and techniques so you can manage your time and yourself better to get things done.

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Success Advice

You Need to Grow Your Memory in Order to Grow Your Life

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We all have access to the most powerful computer ever created in the universe…our brain. Unfortunately, few of us have ever been taught how to use our minds efficiently, and even fewer have learned how to develop a fabulous memory. Thankfully, like any skill, memorising can be learned and using the correct strategies, your memory can be improved in only days.

One of the best coaches on memory is Dominic O’Brien the eight-time world memory champion. Self-taught after watching Creighton Carvello memorise a pack of cards on the BBC’s Record Breakers programme. Dominic, through his work on memory, has given us many tools and techniques for improving memory.

Below are 5 rules that will help you develop a better memory:

1. The Rule of Five

Probably seen as one of the most significant contributions to the body of knowledge on memory is O’Brien’s Rule of Five. This rule details how to remember things using a strategy of regular staged repetition.

These stages are as follows:

  • First Review:Immediately
  • Second Review:Twenty-four hours later
  • Third Review:One week later
  • Fourth Review:One month later
  • Fifth Review:Three months later

Utilising stage repetition at these intervals ingrains the memory for the long term.

2. The Dominic System

The Dominic System is a system for remembering numbers. The system is a Person Action system where the association between two sets of paired numbers is the person with the action of the next person.

1139 would become Andre Agassi doing a roundhouse kick which is the action of Chuck Norris. This system combined with the journey method allows for long random numbers to be easily recalled without error. The fantastic thing about this system is that you get to customise for yourself with memorable people and unique actions which when combined really make it easy for you to recall numbers. The table below associates each number to a letter.

Number     0     1    2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9
Letter     O     A     B     C     D    E     S     G     H     N

Creating a simple document with pairs of numbers in one column, the letter pairs in the next and an action column will help you learn this system quickly.

“Nothing can substitute for just plain hard work. I had to put in the time to get back. And it was a grind. It meant training and sweating every day. But I was completely committed to working out to prove to myself that I still could do it.” – Andre Agassi

3. The Link Method

This method relies on two essential elements of memory, association and exaggeration. Utilising these two elements, it is possible to link together unrelated objects to allow you to remember them.

Trying to remember a list of five separate words such as: balloon, papaya, gold, football and hat, might go something like this. You imagine seeing a giant balloon and inside the balloon you can see a small papaya, in bursting the balloon the papaya falls out and as it hits the floor a gold football bounces into a large sombrero.

4. The Journey Method

Using location has been a fundamental part of mnemonics almost since time began. Before humans, writing elders would pass knowledge to others using stories of journeys, with each piece of knowledge being associated with a location on the journey.

O’Brien’s system utilises journeys that you would undertake on a daily basis, like your commute to work or train stations on well-known line. Items are then associated and exaggerated along the journey, so for instance if you were trying to remember a list of ten random things you would associate each piece along with a unique ten stop journey and utilise exaggeration to make the items more memorable.

“You are well equipped with an incredible potential for absorbing knowledge…Anything’s possible.” – Dominic O’Brien

5. The Story Method

To remember groups of information, create a story that links them together. Remembering the planets of the solar system and their position relative to the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

Imagine that Mercury was hitting the nineties as Venus tossed the tennis ball into the air, striking the ball it soared over the net striking the earth and bouncing high into the air, knocking the mars bar out of Jupiter’s hand, and so on.

Developing a good memory will assist markedly in all of your personal development goals as well as assisting greatly in your daily life. The methods above are tried and tested by one of the leading memory champions. Whether you want to become the next World Memory Champion or just improve your recall, the techniques outlined above will assist greatly.

Combining the various elements will create an exponential improvement in your memory that you will find hard to believe, and you will be kicking yourself for not applying them sooner. The best part about using these methods is that they are fun, so enjoy using them.

Which one of these memorizing methods sounds most interesting to you? Share with us below!

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10 Small Startups That You Can Build on Your Own Right Now

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Having a business of our own is a dream that is very obvious and common all throughout. With the rise in startups and funding options, the market is blooming with successful entrepreneurs. And rightly so! But many ambitious people are seen dropping out of their dream of building a business only because of the funds involved in setting up one! We forget to acknowledge that the idea if planned and executed well, is strong enough to pull in all the investments. (more…)

Bronte Price is Australia’s First Certified Gay Wedding Celebrant. He stands strongly for marriage equality and takes immense pleasure in marrying any couples in love. He has also co-founded The Equality Network to help wedding suppliers create a better wedding experience for LGBTI couples. He is a regular volunteer newsreader at Joy 94.9, and a member of GLOBE (Gay and Lesbian Organization for Business and Enterprise). Beyond this you will find him either in his organic backyard vegetable garden or taking walks with his fiancée Clint and their four legged fur baby – Bingo.

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22 Comments

22 Comments

  1. Chris

    May 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m the same as the majority, the inner critic, I like the idea of giving a physical appearance that I can laugh at. But the best part I will take from this post is failure is a great information provider, i need to get over the mindset that failure is bad!

    You say, in your post, that “Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m living and expressing what I value through the work I’ve chosen to do.” How long did it take working for yourself for you to come to this realisation?

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 13, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Chris!

      When I left corporate America, I left at the high-point of my working life, and left with a LOT of expectations of what I could do in my own business. I was on my second business failure, a start-up with another person. It ended badly, and that at the 2-1/2 years mark. Then it took another 6 months of a lot of internal work to get where I honestly felt I was living and expressing my values.

      And, I’ll be frank, I’m still refining them. Each action I decide to take because it’s what feels right, teaches me something new about myself, or opens my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed about myself, or brings me one step closer to understanding myself better.

      May your journey be all that you need it to be to find the happiness and contentment you desire.

      Quinn

  2. Kim

    May 6, 2015 at 3:08 am

    Love the inner critic idea, Quinn. I usually try positive affirmations and positive readings, but sometimes it doesn’t help. I’m going to try this too as it’s always nice to have a number of things in one’s arsenal. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Kim,

      Totally agree about more tools in your arsenal being a good thing! It used to be I could just say to myself, “This too shall pass,” whenever I found myself being annoyed with someone, but that eventually wore thin. Now I just imagine the person in a teacup. LOL!

  3. Brad

    Apr 30, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    I would extend farther on the inner critic, that its really a lack of balance and love, a falling out with your inner child, who’s retaliating from years of abuse and neglect. I find the more inner child work I do, guided meditations addressing my inner child, apologizing for moments of abuse…the more loving my inner critic is and the more driven and creative I become. Just my two cents 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      May 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Hi Brad,

      I find your comment very interesting as I also do a lot of inner child work . . . and I hadn’t thought of a possible connection between the two, but am going to consider that.

      Thanks for your comments!

  4. Laurie

    Apr 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    Love the idea of taking on my inner critic, quite a formidable foe. Thanks for all the great ideas.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 26, 2015 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Laurie,

      I love talking to mine while it sits in its teacup. Everything it barks at me comes out in a high, squeaky voice!

      Have you ever wondered what yours would look like sitting in a thimble?

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  5. Nicki Lee

    Apr 23, 2015 at 7:48 pm

    Great post, Quinn! My inner critic runs all over me, so I’m keen to try your suggestion and shame it away. Thanks 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 24, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      Thanks Nicki!

      I figure that since our inner critics do all they can to shame us, turn-about is fair play!

      Best of luck with yours!

      Quinn

  6. Debashish

    Apr 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Fantastic post, Quinn! Way to go to show not only what holds us back, but also how to get over those obstacles. The “fly by the seat of your pants” attitude is something we definitely need to consciously cultivate. Especially in this age, where it’s easy to get distracted.
    Ok, enough time has been wasted reading stuff online. Off to do some real work! 🙂

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Debasish,

      Glad you liked the post, thanks for taking the time!

      Quinn

  7. Ann

    Apr 22, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Quinn, Inner critic is my killer. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:06 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting Ann!

      Remember the Dreamworks movie Train Your Dragon? Dragons were killers too . . . but if a kid can train a dragon, then you’ve got all it takes to train your inner critic!

      Best wishes!

      Quinn

  8. Ellen

    Apr 22, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    Great tips Quinn. Number 2 resonates with me right now – but making sure I add the ‘with compassion’! Otherwise it’s just another way of being too hard on myself 😉

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Ellen, I’m glad something resonated with you!

      Here’s my not so secret mantra for being nice to myself: May I be filled with loving kindness; May I be held in loving kindness; May I realize loving kindness as my essence.

      May it work for you too!

      Quinn

  9. Rob

    Apr 22, 2015 at 10:33 am

    Quinn, you’ve nailed it! All about taking self-control. We have the power!

    I laughed out loud when you said you saw your inner critic as a bulldog with a bright pink ruff around its neck!

    I’d like to work on mine.

    You’ve reminded me how personal success is as well as how anything we do in business is a reflection of our personalities and personal branding. It’s all about having the right approach and attitude, as you suggest.

    I particularly like your process for embracing our weaknesses. I would go further to say this isn’t something that happens over night but over time. In that respect, Jim Ryun’s quote is perfect.

    Thanks for the wisdom, laughter and reality check, Quinn.

    This is one of the posts that needs to be bookmarked for ongoing future reference and referral!

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 23, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks Rob!

      I’m glad you like the Jim Ryun quote . . . and give full credit to the folks at A2S for having put it in! And they did a terrific job with the pictures too!

      As we’re all a work in progress, it’s good we can have some fun along the way too!

      Cheers!
      Quinn

  10. Andrea

    Apr 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    Hi Quinn,

    Couldn’t agree more with you about ‘getting out of your way’! For so long, I’ve been waiting for some external factor to improve, so that my life would be finally on track. But since I’ve taken full responsibility for my own actions, I’m experiencing small wins almost every day. It’s hard, but I’d rather swallow some bitter pills now and then, than give power to the inner monster that keeps nagging away in the background…

    Great advice!
    Thanks

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      I hear you about the monster! Good idea to keep track of any wins, but especially the small ones as they do add up. I had a dream last night about voting – for myself and against myself. Made me think I should get some poker chips, a couple of jars and get a visual on which way my votes are going through the day.

      Keep up the good work!

  11. Helen McCarthy

    Apr 21, 2015 at 1:08 pm

    Thanks Quinn. Good tips. Believing we all deserve kindness (even from ourselves) is the key for me.

    • Quinn Eurich

      Apr 22, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      Thanks Helen! I’m glad you found value in tips. The one that resonated with you is key for me too!

      Best wishes!

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Success Advice

Stop Denying Your Negative Thoughts and Start Embracing Them

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Over the years, many of the talking heads and pundits in the personal development and success science industry have talked about the immediate replacement of negative thoughts with positive thoughts. The logic behind that particular behavioral strategy seems to make sense on the surface. Think about it, when a negative thought rears its ugly head, we should immediately dive into the repository of positive thoughts that we have available to us so that we could immediately begin to dwell on it.

Even further, some gurus of the genre suggest removing any chance of having a negative thought by the constant repetition of affirmations. Again, tried-and-true motivational technology that is very workable and still useful. I would suggest, however, that you view the above behaviors as tactics more than strategies.

I will further suggest to you that you do not abhor your negative thoughts but rather embrace them, examine them, and place them under a spotlight. My reasoning behind this goes back over 100 years into psychology with stimulus/response, that is, the cause and effect of certain behaviors. Many individuals look at a negative thought as a causative driver. The negative thought exists as a cause, and our behavior toward that cause will determine the effect.

So, following this logic, if an individual has a negative thought which makes them feel sad, and that sadness causes them to binge drink, by removing the negative thought you’ll have removed the motivation for binge drinking. Doesn’t that sound kind of silly? The suggestion here is to turn off the negative thought so that it will turn off the consumption of alcohol.

Of course, this makes sense if we view the negative thought as a primal force in behavior. So, what if we started to think of the negative thought more as the result of something else? It means that the “something else” must change first. What if we took a different approach? What if we looked at a negative thought as an effect of some larger causal factor?

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” – Joel Osteen

By reversing the cause-and-effect motion of negative thinking (saying that the negative thought is an effect), we now can ask a deeper, more penetrative question: Why are we thinking that negative thought? What is the underlying cause of that specific train of thinking? By reversing the cause-and-effect relationship of negative thinking, it allows the negative thinker to assume the role of diagnostician!

Below is a three-step process you can use to examine your negative thoughts, the role of it in your life, and how you can get rid of them:

1. Simply acknowledge the negative thought

Recognize the fact that there’s a negative thought in your mind instead of trying to go through a process of emotionally overlaying positive thoughts on top of it. Can you see how this exacerbates the issue? You have a negative thought, you immediately recognize that it must be changed, and you frantically scurry through the museum of your mind to find a positive thought to replace it.

In the meantime, while you are trying to find that positive thought, you’re feeling anxious, nervous, and guilty! When you finally find a positive thought to replace that negative thought, the normal process is to squash it. But you can’t! It’s like trying to get rid of weeds by covering them with rocks.

They will always find another way around the rock. It is the same with negative thoughts. Consequently, try acknowledging the negative thought.

2. Affirm the negative thought

It is a part of you. Instead of denying its existence, accept that it is there in front of you and that you are now willing to deal with it. If any of you reading this are dog lovers, you will know that the best way to get a dog next to you is by attempting to push it away from you. Every time you push the dog away it gets closer. This is the same with negative thinking because the harder you push the closer it gets.

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” – Michael Jordan

3. Acquit the thought

Give it permission to leave you. Thank it for its past importance in your life and allow it to be on its way! At this point feel free to replace the negative thought with a positive thought. What will begin to happen when you place the negative thought under the spotlight is that you will see how insignificantly small it actually is.

This is a process I’ve been using for quite some time, and it works! Oh sure, I still use affirmations on a daily basis; as a matter fact I have them right here in front of me. I find that affirmations are a tremendous way to stay positive because it doesn’t allow any room for bad things to grow. But since the average person thinks 60,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, let’s face it, a few negative thoughts have to squeak in there!

The best advice that I can give is to not freak out over a negative thought. Acknowledge it, affirm it, and acquit it! This is magic. Watch what happens!

How do you handle negative thoughts? Let us know your tips below!

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Success Advice

One Thing I Can Teach You About Life That Will Help You Forever.

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I used to be a very anxious person.

I was embarrassed by what I couldn’t do and every day was a struggle. From the moment I would wake up to the moment I’d go to bed, everything felt impossibly overwhelming. It’s a battle I’ve dealt with most of my life.

This daily struggle with mental illness taught me that the satisfaction didn’t lie in beating it; the satisfaction was in helping other people beat mental illness through my success in fighting it.


Recently, I was at work. It was a pretty standard day — nothing too exciting. I then had a catch up with one of the leaders I worked with.

She said something that got my attention: “One of our colleagues is battling a mental illness.”

I really wanted to help. My eyes lit up. There was no need to uncover my plan with anyone else. I knew that staying discrete was fundamental.

I approached the person in question and asked for a few minutes of their time.

I didn’t ask them to admit their mental illness struggle; I just shared my story.

I talked about the anxiety stopping me from having a normal life, eating the right foods, going on dates with girls, having the career I wanted and traveling the world.

I wasn’t sure if any of it was sinking in or even helping. I felt compelled to go on. One thing I knew was that he was paying attention. I could see it in his eyes.

I then went on to talk about how I beat mental illness. Strategies such as:

  • Creating fear lists
  • Seeking professional help
  • Working on myself
  • Books I read
  • Events I attended

Out of nowhere, he started opening up about his own struggle. I was shocked.
It wasn’t pretty. He had an extreme case of mental illness that I certainly couldn’t diagnose or give professional advice on.

All I could do was show him through my own story that there was hope

I offered him access to all the resources I had. I told him that he had my full support and I’d be happy to help in any way I could. He then said:

“What was your psychologist’s name?”

I told him I’d look it up and send it to him. I didn’t have the answer in front of me, but I was determined when I got home to find it.

At the end of the catch-up, he smiled. I don’t think he’d smiled like that in a very long time.

That smile gave me so much satisfaction. It made my own struggle with mental illness worth it. All those sleepless nights, times spent vomiting into the toilet and dark days where I didn’t want to go on made sense.


“It took more than seven years for me to understand that my own battle with mental illness actually had a benefit”

That benefit was the satisfaction in seeing someone beat their mental illness because I was able to defeat mine.

It’s probably the greatest satisfaction of my entire life.

That’s one thing I can teach you about life that will help you forever.

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Success Advice

5 Productivity Shifts You Need to Make to Make 2019 Your Best Year Yet

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Everyone wants more time, that is something almost all of us share. Time is the most valuable resource and when you learn how to make your time work for you and how to get the most out of it – you experience life differently.  

Improving how you manage your time is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself – it’s a real game changer in your business and personal life. There are many ways that you can get more productive and get the right things done sooner; but not all of them are obvious or bring the same results.

Here are 5 productivity shifts you want to make if you are trying to make the most out of 2019:

1. Ditch your to do list

Productive people don’t keep to-do lists, they schedule everything they need to do in their calendar and work directly from their calendar!  To-Do lists are just ineffective and they are impeding your productivity. A never ending list of items only leaves you overwhelmed and with a false sense of ‘productivity’.  

If you schedule your To Do’s directly into your calendar at a time to get them done, you commit to it and you are more likely to get it done. Less is more – you don’t need a separate list to remind you what you need to do.

“Productivity is less about what you do with your time and more about how you run your mind.” – Robin Sharma

2. Give up on motivation

Productive people don’t always have to be motivated before starting something. They balance discipline with motivation and do what they need to do, regardless of motivation. When we come up with resistance to take action on what we have planned, we might tell ourselves that we are not motivated and we believe that we need to be motivated to complete any task.

If you want to increase your productivity, you need to challenge yourself more in the moment to take action and give up on motivation sometimes. Do what you need to in order to get the results you want in the future. Don’t make decisions based on how you feel now, make them based on what result you are really after.

3. Master your mornings

Wake up early and get yourself into the productive mindset with your routine and diet! Productive people start the day with some sort of routine, whether it’s meditation, exercise or visualization, etc. AND they have a healthy breakfast to fuel them for the day. Your health is everything when it comes to productivity, what you eat directly affects your productivity.

We can just no longer ignore the direct connection any more. Get in the right mindset to start your day and fuel your mind and body to get the most out of it. Starting your day off in any other way undermines your success – there is no doubt.

4. Schedule according to energy

Productive people know their energy cycles and they plan tasks around their energy levels. Why plan something at a time when you know it will be hard to rise to the challenge? Schedule tasks that require focus and concentration for those times of day that you feel the best and you will find it’s easier to follow through and you will be at your best to perform. Identify your filler tasks and complete those when your energy drops. Be more realistic when scheduling your tasks and set yourself up for wins.

“Productivity is never an accident it’s the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning & focused effort.” – Paul Meyer

5. Working backwards

Productive people always focus on those activities that will take them to the next level. They plan backwards, they look at their goals, then identify the tasks they need to do to support those goals. Those tasks get broken down into weekly actions. That’s how they plan.

Don’t only plan on tasks that come in or those which you ‘feel’ or ‘think’ you should be doing. Your day needs to consist of at least one activity that directly supports your longer term objectives, your big project. What sounds like common sense is definitely not common practice.

Create the right habits to achieve your goals, work on adopting easy tips and techniques so you can manage your time and yourself better to get things done.

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Success Advice

You Need to Grow Your Memory in Order to Grow Your Life

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We all have access to the most powerful computer ever created in the universe…our brain. Unfortunately, few of us have ever been taught how to use our minds efficiently, and even fewer have learned how to develop a fabulous memory. Thankfully, like any skill, memorising can be learned and using the correct strategies, your memory can be improved in only days.

One of the best coaches on memory is Dominic O’Brien the eight-time world memory champion. Self-taught after watching Creighton Carvello memorise a pack of cards on the BBC’s Record Breakers programme. Dominic, through his work on memory, has given us many tools and techniques for improving memory.

Below are 5 rules that will help you develop a better memory:

1. The Rule of Five

Probably seen as one of the most significant contributions to the body of knowledge on memory is O’Brien’s Rule of Five. This rule details how to remember things using a strategy of regular staged repetition.

These stages are as follows:

  • First Review:Immediately
  • Second Review:Twenty-four hours later
  • Third Review:One week later
  • Fourth Review:One month later
  • Fifth Review:Three months later

Utilising stage repetition at these intervals ingrains the memory for the long term.

2. The Dominic System

The Dominic System is a system for remembering numbers. The system is a Person Action system where the association between two sets of paired numbers is the person with the action of the next person.

1139 would become Andre Agassi doing a roundhouse kick which is the action of Chuck Norris. This system combined with the journey method allows for long random numbers to be easily recalled without error. The fantastic thing about this system is that you get to customise for yourself with memorable people and unique actions which when combined really make it easy for you to recall numbers. The table below associates each number to a letter.

Number     0     1    2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9
Letter     O     A     B     C     D    E     S     G     H     N

Creating a simple document with pairs of numbers in one column, the letter pairs in the next and an action column will help you learn this system quickly.

“Nothing can substitute for just plain hard work. I had to put in the time to get back. And it was a grind. It meant training and sweating every day. But I was completely committed to working out to prove to myself that I still could do it.” – Andre Agassi

3. The Link Method

This method relies on two essential elements of memory, association and exaggeration. Utilising these two elements, it is possible to link together unrelated objects to allow you to remember them.

Trying to remember a list of five separate words such as: balloon, papaya, gold, football and hat, might go something like this. You imagine seeing a giant balloon and inside the balloon you can see a small papaya, in bursting the balloon the papaya falls out and as it hits the floor a gold football bounces into a large sombrero.

4. The Journey Method

Using location has been a fundamental part of mnemonics almost since time began. Before humans, writing elders would pass knowledge to others using stories of journeys, with each piece of knowledge being associated with a location on the journey.

O’Brien’s system utilises journeys that you would undertake on a daily basis, like your commute to work or train stations on well-known line. Items are then associated and exaggerated along the journey, so for instance if you were trying to remember a list of ten random things you would associate each piece along with a unique ten stop journey and utilise exaggeration to make the items more memorable.

“You are well equipped with an incredible potential for absorbing knowledge…Anything’s possible.” – Dominic O’Brien

5. The Story Method

To remember groups of information, create a story that links them together. Remembering the planets of the solar system and their position relative to the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

Imagine that Mercury was hitting the nineties as Venus tossed the tennis ball into the air, striking the ball it soared over the net striking the earth and bouncing high into the air, knocking the mars bar out of Jupiter’s hand, and so on.

Developing a good memory will assist markedly in all of your personal development goals as well as assisting greatly in your daily life. The methods above are tried and tested by one of the leading memory champions. Whether you want to become the next World Memory Champion or just improve your recall, the techniques outlined above will assist greatly.

Combining the various elements will create an exponential improvement in your memory that you will find hard to believe, and you will be kicking yourself for not applying them sooner. The best part about using these methods is that they are fun, so enjoy using them.

Which one of these memorizing methods sounds most interesting to you? Share with us below!

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