Success Advice

3 Keys to Balancing Work and Parenting While Working From Home

Published

3 years ago

Dec 23, 2020

Image Credit: Unsplash

“I am going to lose my job. My son shouts all the time, and I just cannot work like this.” Many of my consultations begin with statements like this nowadays from parents working from home because of the pandemic. It is not easy to choose between making a living and giving love. But that is a choice that almost every parent is being forced to make every day and all the time through the pandemic.

But do we need to choose? Not really. We can have both. The key is to strike a balance. Here are some tips for balancing work and parenting while working from home.

1. Understand tantrums

A tantrum is a need masked by a want. Your child needs to feel connected with you because it makes them feel safe. This need for connection remains unmet when you start working from home. Because to get work done, you shut down your emotional brain and start using your thinking brain.

With the emotional brain shut down, your child feels disconnected and unsafe. This prompts your child to misbehave or throw a tantrum about something they want. If you look closely at the tantrum, you will find that it is not about the ‘thing’ that your child is asking for at all. Because it will not go away when you give the ‘thing.’

The tantrum about ‘I want’ is your child’s way of asking for your attention and focus. It is difficult for our children to see us physically present and emotionally absent. That is why they try to trigger our emotions. It does not matter that what they finally get from us is a negative emotion – like anger.

They welcome any emotion because it activates your shut down emotional brain and reestablishes your connection with them. The solution is to convey to your child that you are connected even when it appears that you are not.

Here are a few tips to prevent tantrums during meetings:

Before meetings, explain to the person on the other side that you are working with a child around. Set the right expectations so that you are not embarrassed if your child interrupts.
Connect before you disconnect. Before you begin work for the day – spend quality time with your child – talk, laugh, make eye contact, hug, and kiss. Do the same for a few minutes before your meeting.
Start your child off on some activity and tell them when you will be back to join them.
During the meeting, make eye contact with your child at frequent intervals and smile.
Do not keep looking into your phone when you are not working. Connect with eye contact, hugs, and kisses.

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.” – Charles Buxton

2. Communicate

The key to succeeding with parenting while working from home is – effective all-round communication. Clear communication with your child, with the organization you work for, and your spouse can make work from home comfortable.

Here are a few tips to communicate effectively:

Communicate with your team and explain your need for a flexible schedule and a slightly relaxed environment because of your child. If you pull your share of the workload, your team is unlikely to object.
Coordinate your schedule with your spouse such that one of you is relatively free when the other is engaged in crucial work.
Explain what you do at work to your child. Elaborate on how important and impactful your work is. Remember that your child wants you to succeed. Your child wants you to do great things that they can feel proud of. Once they know that you are doing something great, they will encourage you and help you.
Share your daily challenges with your child. Brainstorm for solutions. For example, say – “You know Mamma designs cars, right? So tomorrow I have a crucial meeting at 4 PM about how to make wheels that will allow cars to go fast. Now that is the time when I usually give you milk. What can we do so that I can attend the meeting? Can you help me? Let us make a plan.”

3. Plan your workday

Unlike the office, where the environment is almost always conducive to focused work, the home environment shifts and changes all the time. If you want to get your work done on time, you must cater to these shifts.

What is the best strategy to get work done during work from home?

Look at the work you need to accomplish in a day. On the list, you will find some work that requires intense focus and your undivided attention, and some work that you can do even with a little distraction. Try and schedule work that requires intense focus early in the morning or late in the night when your child is likely to be asleep.
Plan the rest of the day such that you are taking a 5-10-minute break every hour. Write out your schedule and mark out the breaks in red. Share this with your child.
Then create a schedule for your child. Sync your breaks.
Plan something fun in each break. Plan to go look out of the balcony for 10 minutes in the first break. Plan to feed the birds at the kitchen window for 5 minutes in the second break. Plan to put the washing out to dry for 15 minutes in the third break. Plan to lie flat on the ground for 5 minutes in the fourth break. And so on.
Work on a schedule and from a particular desk and chair. Do not work all the time from everywhere.

“Never begin the day until it is finished on paper.” – Jim Rohn

Knowing what to expect and having something to look forward to is the secret to a calm and happy child. Begin and end each day with gratitude. Remind yourself that many people would give anything for a job and a healthy child. Plan and prioritize and triumph over the pandemic.

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Debmita Dutta

Dr. Debmita Dutta MBBS, MD, is a practicing doctor, a parenting consultant, and the founder of WPA whatparentsask.com. She conducts workshops on parenting for schools and corporate organizations. She is a well-known thought leader in parenting. Her books on parenting are published by Juggernaut Books, and she is frequently quoted in national and international publications of repute. She is renowned for her empathetic and compassionate approach to parenting and her application of physiology and brain science to parenting.

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There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity

Published

3 weeks ago

Nov 16, 2023

Jamelle Sanders

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In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness.

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be.

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time.

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.