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Success Advice

2 Simple Ways to Help You Communicate With Anyone Like a Jedi



Image Credit: Unsplash

It may not be the droids we’re looking for, but the words we use can have just as dramatic of an effect on us. The danger with some entrepreneurs is that our ego or our vision can get in the way. We assume that the people we are talking to are on the same page as we are, and the words we use have the same meaning to others, which often leads to misunderstandings. If we slow down, and communicate like a Jedi, we can learn so much more.

Below are two ways that’ll help you build rapport, understand your clients or customers needs, and ultimately make more sales:

1. Ask The Lazy Jedi Questions

These are based on Clean Language and were devised by David Grove. They’re often associated with Neuro Linguistic Programming, but can be used in any setting. They’re two powerful questions that help you to put aside your ego and your assumption that you know what the other person means. Words are a terrible way to communicate and so we must dig deeper.

What kind of X (is that X)?

It may seem simple enough, but the application of it can create a deeper level of understanding. A co-worker may say they’re overworked, to which you can reply “What kind of overworked is that?” to help them truly discover the reality of their situation.

It can also be applied to yourself. For example, if you say “I will be successful by the end of the year,” this requires clarity to discover how you can do this. A good question to ask yourself is “What kind of success is that success?” It may seem clunky at first, but try it out. You can use it at work or in your personal life, and you’ll be surprised at how effective it can be.

Is there something else about X?

This could be used on it’s own or after the first question. We often assume when someone has finished talking that we have all of the information we need, yet that’s often not the case.

A little prompt can work well in helping to gain clarity. Our ego can’t wait to jump in and reply by giving advice. You must remember to be Jedi like since you don’t know all of the information yet.

Is there something else about that tech issue? Is there something else about that lack of motivation? Our goal is understanding, and by asking for clarity and mirroring their words back to them, we make sure that these lines of communication are open.

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” – Paul J. Meyer

Both of these questions are vital in negotiations in order to make sure both parties are clear on what is happening. For example, let’s look at a wage issue.

Employer: If you pull this client in, you will get a bonus

You: And what kind of bonus is that bonus?

Employer: I think a bonus of 5 figures would be coming your way.

You: Is there anything else about that bonus?

This applies to your home life as well. See below:

Spouse: I would like a romantic night out

You: What kind of romantic?”

How you deliver these questions will play an important role, which we’ll need the late night DJ voice.

2. The Jedi Mind Trick

Chris Vogler was the former FBI Lead International Kidnapping Negotiator. In his book “Never Split The Difference” he suggests a late night DJ voice. In addition, his Jedi Mind Trick is to use mirroring, to repeat the last 1- 3 words that were just said to you, with an upwards inflection.

This works in the same way as clean language and NLP because it guides the person into communicating more clearly by making sure you’re both speaking a similar language. It accepts that when other people uses words, they don’t necessarily have the same meaning that you attribute to them. This is especially true in a global marketplace where English might be someone’s second, third, or fourth language.

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” – Plato

We talk of people having a train of thought, and yet do all we can to derail it by using different words, and by diverting the conversation in different directions.

You can combine all of the above techniques to help see what is at the end of those tracks. This will lead to improved communication, rapport, and a deeper level of understanding. The upside is tremendous.

What are some of your best communication techniques, and how do you use them? Share below!

Darren Horne is an educator and consultant focusing on leadership and communications. He is an author of an award winning book, a Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner, on the board of trustees for an alcohol and addiction charity, and has been interviewed globally. His mission is to help a million people be a little happier. Darren also owns a martial arts studio focusing on mindfulness, emotional intelligence and life performance. You can find him on Facebook, and

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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator



Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.


2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.


3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.


4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.


5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.


6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.


7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.


8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.


9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.


10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.


11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.


12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.


13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.


14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.


15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.


16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.


17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.


18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.


19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.


20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.


By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at so you can master your life with more success.

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way



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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy



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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively

In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds



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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds on positive aspects and constructive activities. Sometimes we waste our precious time mentally and physically due to distractions arising out of technology. We must understand our priorities and learn how to focus on them religiously. (more…)

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